---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The problem with wanting is that is makes…"
description: "\"“The problem with wanting is that is makes us weak. How right he was. I'd wanted so badly to belong somewhere, anywhere. I'd been so eager to please hi..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73c/leigh-bardugo-252_desired_the-problem-with-wanting-is-that-is-make_2777193.jpg"
---

#  The problem with wanting is that is makes us weak. How…

![“The problem with wanting is that is makes us weak. How right he was. I'd wanted so badly to belong somewhere, anywhere. I'd been so eager to please him, so proud to keep his secrets. But I'd never bothered to question what he might really want, what his true motives might be. I'd been too busy…” quote by Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73c/leigh-bardugo-252_desired_the-problem-with-wanting-is-that-is-make_2777193.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73c/leigh-bardugo-252_desired_the-problem-with-wanting-is-that-is-make_2777193.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73c/leigh-bardugo-252_desired_the-problem-with-wanting-is-that-is-make_2777193.jpg)

> ““The problem with wanting is that is makes us weak. How right he was. I'd wanted so badly to belong somewhere, anywhere. I'd been so eager to please him, so proud to keep his secrets. But I'd never bothered to question what he might really want, what his true motives might be. I'd been too busy imagining myself by his side, the savior of Ravka, most treasured, most desired, like some kind of queen.””

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Desire for belonging can blind us to others’ motives, making us vulnerable.

**In simple terms:** Wanting acceptance can weaken judgment.

Key Takeaway

Question motives before devotion.

Themes

desire identity trust vulnerability

Mood

introspective melancholic

Type

literary philosophical

When to use this quote

- friendships
- romantic pursuits
- political alliances

Key Concepts

psychology literature

Questions to Reflect On

- What do you seek acceptance for?
- How can you balance desire and self‑awareness?

A Different Perspective

Desire can also inspire positive growth.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

## Related quotes

> [''When you do finally get what you want, the problem is there's always someone that's trying to take it away. And all that wanting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gossip-girl/when-you-do-finally-get-what-you-want-the-problem-is-there-s-always/)

[Gossip Girl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gossip-girl/)

> [I wanted to believe anything so that I wouldn’t have to face the future alone. The problem with wanting is that it makes us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/i-wanted-to-believe-anything-so-that-i-wouldn-t-have-to-face-the/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [“Yet velvet curtains, soft cheese, compelling work and boys who can run full-tilt—it isn't enough. And if it isn't, it isn't. There's no living…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hanif-kureishi/yet-velvet-curtains-soft-cheese-compelling-work-and-boys-who-can-run/)

[Hanif Kureishi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hanif-kureishi/)

> [Reality is what we want it to be or what we do not want it to be, but it is not our wanting or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/randall-jarrell/reality-is-what-we-want-it-to-be-or-what-we-do-not-want-it-to-be-but/)

[Randall Jarrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/randall-jarrell/)

> [“I wanted so badly to believe, but the fear felt as great and overwhelming as the desire.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cohn/i-wanted-so-badly-to-believe-but-the-fear-felt-as-great-and/)

[Rachel Cohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cohn/)

> [And I can remember just sitting there staring at you staring at me and I wanted to cry so badly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/and-i-can-remember-just-sitting-there-staring-at-you-staring-at-me/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“I’ve never wanted anything as badly as I want you. I just want to be with you, and I want that to be enough.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mclean/i-ve-never-wanted-anything-as-badly-as-i-want-you-i-just-want-to-be/)

[Jay McLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mclean/)

> [“Have you wanted something so badly that you would have done anything to get it?” he mumbled, his muscly back still to me. “Like,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karina-halle/have-you-wanted-something-so-badly-that-you-would-have-done-anything/)

[Karina Halle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karina-halle/)

> [I wanted badly to make music, but had no equipment or money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naughty-boy/i-wanted-badly-to-make-music-but-had-no-equipment-or-money/)

[Naughty Boy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naughty-boy/)

> [Things are sweeter when they're lost. I know--because once I wanted something and got it. It was the only thing I ever wanted badly,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/things-are-sweeter-when-they-re-lost-i-know-because-once-i-wanted/)

[F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/)

> [I wanted so badly for there to be more. I ached for there to be more than my crappy little life.' He shakes his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-ness/i-wanted-so-badly-for-there-to-be-more-i-ached-for-there-to-be-more/)

[Patrick Ness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-ness/)

> [Can't Hardly Wait was a movie everyone wanted. I wanted the lead girl sooo badly, I think it was Lauren Ambrose. I wanted it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selma-blair/can-t-hardly-wait-was-a-movie-everyone-wanted-i-wanted-the-lead-girl/)

[Selma Blair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selma-blair/)

> [“And then I got it. Leo wanted to go so badly because he wanted not only to be in the presence of greatness, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ally-condie/and-then-i-got-it-leo-wanted-to-go-so-badly-because-he-wanted-not/)

[Ally Condie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ally-condie/)

> [“I just wanted so badly to start over, be someone new, and then he came into my life. I didn’t expect him, never even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-lunderman/i-just-wanted-so-badly-to-start-over-be-someone-new-and-then-he-came/)

[Amy Lunderman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-lunderman/)

> [Have you ever wanted something so badly that you would do anything, believe anything in order to acquire it?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorraine-heath/have-you-ever-wanted-something-so-badly-that-you-would-do-anything/)

[Lorraine Heath](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorraine-heath/)

## More by Leigh Bardugo

> [“Aleksander." His eyes fluttered shut. "Don't let me be alone," he murmured. And then he was gone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/aleksander-his-eyes-fluttered-shut-don-t-let-me-be-alone-he-murmured/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [“I don't care if you danced naked on the roof of the Little Palace with him. I love you, Alina, even the part of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/i-don-t-care-if-you-danced-naked-on-the-roof-of-the-little-palace/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [“Inej frowned. “I thought you and Nina chose four outbreak sites on the Staves.” Kaz straightened his cuffs. “I also had her stop at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/inej-frowned-i-thought-you-and-nina-chose-four-outbreak-sites-on-the/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [“I rolled my eyes. "For defending my honor, you dullard." He yanked me beneath a shadowed awning. I had a moment's panic when I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/i-rolled-my-eyes-for-defending-my-honor-you-dullard-he-yanked-me/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [“I've been waiting for you a long time, Alina" He said. "You and I are going to change the world.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/i-ve-been-waiting-for-you-a-long-time-alina-he-said-you-and-i-are/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [“They're all crazy, Oncat. Invisible armies, monster princes. Let's go set fire to something.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/they-re-all-crazy-oncat-invisible-armies-monster-princes-let-s-go-set/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [“Saints!" I swore. "I forgot how often I want to stab you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/saints-i-swore-i-forgot-how-often-i-want-to-stab-you/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [“Inej knew the moment Kaz entered the Slat. His presence reverberated through the cramped rooms and crooked hallways as every thug, thief, dealer, con…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/inej-knew-the-moment-kaz-entered-the-slat-his-presence-reverberated/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [“I've risked my life for you. I've walked half the length of Ravka for you, and I'd do it again and again and again…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/i-ve-risked-my-life-for-you-i-ve-walked-half-the-length-of-ravka-for/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [“You never know," said Nikolai. "I've been busy. I might have some surprises in store for the Darkling yet." "Please tell me you plan…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/you-never-know-said-nikolai-i-ve-been-busy-i-might-have-some/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [“Sure we do," said Theo, swatting at a branch. "We get to the spring, Alia gets cured. We argue over the best choice for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/sure-we-do-said-theo-swatting-at-a-branch-we-get-to-the-spring-alia/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [“But I pushed down my confused tears and did as she asked, still hoping that whatever I’d broken might be repaired.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/but-i-pushed-down-my-confused-tears-and-did-as-she-asked-still-hoping/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [“There, she wrote fantastical tales that charmed children, and under another name, she penned rather more lurid works that kept her in nougat and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/there-she-wrote-fantastical-tales-that-charmed-children-and-under/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [“Short on friends, your highness?" "And long on enemies," replied Nikolai.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/short-on-friends-your-highness-and-long-on-enemies-replied-nikolai/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [“Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. “Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I’m going to get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/jesper-knocked-his-head-against-the-hull-and-cast-his-eyes-heavenward/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

[Explore all 782 Leigh Bardugo quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

## More Desired quotes

> [Peace, above all things, is to be desired, but blood must sometimes be spilled to obtain it on equable and lasting terms.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-jackson/peace-above-all-things-is-to-be-desired-but-blood-must-sometimes-be/)

[Andrew Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-jackson/)

> [I feel in me the vocation of the Priest. I have the vocation of the Apostle. Martyrdom was the dream of my youth, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/therese-of-lisieux/i-feel-in-me-the-vocation-of-the-priest-i-have-the-vocation-of-the/)

[Therese of Lisieux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/therese-of-lisieux/)

> [“When a long-desired baby is born, what joy! More happiness than we find in sex, more than we take in success, revenge, or wealth.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-hall/when-a-long-desired-baby-is-born-what-joy-more-happiness-than-we-find/)

[Donald Hall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-hall/)

> [The US wished things to turn out as they did, and worked to bring this about. The department of state desired that the UN…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-patrick-moynihan/the-us-wished-things-to-turn-out-as-they-did-and-worked-to-bring-this/)

[Daniel Patrick Moynihan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-patrick-moynihan/)

> [I'm sorry, I guess my company leaves a lot to be desired.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholas-sparks/i-m-sorry-i-guess-my-company-leaves-a-lot-to-be-desired/)

[Nicholas Sparks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicholas-sparks/)

> [What must that be like? To be admired before you’ve even said a word, to be desired two or three hundred times a day…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/what-must-that-be-like-to-be-admired-before-you-ve-even-said-a-word/)

[David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/)

> [Friendship is a relationship that is given to few, but desired by all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/friendship-is-a-relationship-that-is-given-to-few-but-desired-by-all/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I found that what I had desired all my life was not to live - if what others are doing is called living -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-miller/i-found-that-what-i-had-desired-all-my-life-was-not-to-live-if-what/)

[Henry Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-miller/)

> [As long as humans have existed, we have always desired to live longer. Every society, every religion, every culture. Of course, they all failed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/s-jay-olshansky/as-long-as-humans-have-existed-we-have-always-desired-to-live-longer/)

[S. Jay Olshansky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/s-jay-olshansky/)

> [I've got a feeling that with the best coppers - and in fact the best people in any field of work - what sets…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ken-stott/i-ve-got-a-feeling-that-with-the-best-coppers-and-in-fact-the-best/)

[Ken Stott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ken-stott/)

> [“Desire may cease once the desired person or object is acquired. The desire of reading doesn’t cease once a book is read, however extraordinary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-dubois/desire-may-cease-once-the-desired-person-or-object-is-acquired-the/)

[Gabrielle Dubois](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-dubois/)

> [The first right of every child is to be wanted, to be desired, to be planned for with an intensity of love that gives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-sanger/the-first-right-of-every-child-is-to-be-wanted-to-be-desired-to-be/)

[Margaret Sanger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-sanger/)

> [Terror works like a musical composition, so many instruments, all in tune, playing perfectly together to create their desired effect. Sorrow and horror and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-gibbs/terror-works-like-a-musical-composition-so-many-instruments-all-in/)

[Nancy Gibbs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-gibbs/)

> [Let's face it: fitness is boring. But it's critical to be extremely dedicated to whatever you decide to take up to achieve a desired…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harbhajan-singh/let-s-face-it-fitness-is-boring-but-it-s-critical-to-be-extremely/)

[Harbhajan Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harbhajan-singh/)

> [“Sitting here, and thus, she had attained to a state which she could never have desired, not even conceived. And being so unforeseen, so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvia-townsend-warner/sitting-here-and-thus-she-had-attained-to-a-state-which-she-could/)

[Sylvia Townsend Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvia-townsend-warner/)

Browse all 117 Desired quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“The problem with wanting is that is makes us weak. How right he was. I'd wanted so badly to belong somewhere, anywhere. I'd been so eager to please him, so proud to keep his secrets. But I'd never bothered to question what he might really want, what his true motives might be. I'd been too busy imagining myself by his side, the savior of Ravka, most treasured, most desired, like some kind of queen.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Leigh Bardugo"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/the-problem-with-wanting-is-that-is-makes-us-weak-how-right-he-was-i/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Desired"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/the-problem-with-wanting-is-that-is-makes-us-weak-how-right-he-was-i/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73c/leigh-bardugo-252_desired_the-problem-with-wanting-is-that-is-make_2777193.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73c/leigh-bardugo-252_desired_the-problem-with-wanting-is-that-is-make_2777193.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73c/leigh-bardugo-252_desired_the-problem-with-wanting-is-that-is-make_2777193.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“The problem with wanting is that is makes us weak. How right he was. I'd wanted so badly to belong…” — Leigh Bardugo",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Leigh Bardugo",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“The problem with wanting is that...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/the-problem-with-wanting-is-that-is-makes-us-weak-how-right-he-was-i/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/the-problem-with-wanting-is-that-is-makes-us-weak-how-right-he-was-i/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
