---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: But that's the problem with love - it…"
description: "\"But that's the problem with love - it acts on you, works through you, resists your attempts to control.\" — Lauren Oliver"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40f/lauren-oliver-109_love_but-that-s-the-problem-with-love-it-acts_3153796.png"
---

#  But that's the problem with love - it acts on you, works…

![“But that's the problem with love - it acts on you, works through you, resists your attempts to control.” quote by Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40f/lauren-oliver-109_love_but-that-s-the-problem-with-love-it-acts_3153796.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40f/lauren-oliver-109_love_but-that-s-the-problem-with-love-it-acts_3153796.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40f/lauren-oliver-109_love_but-that-s-the-problem-with-love-it-acts_3153796.png)

> “But that's the problem with love - it acts on you, works through you, resists your attempts to control.”

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Love is an uncontrollable force that influences us beyond our intentions, often resisting our attempts to manage it.

**In simple terms:** Love can’t be controlled.

Key Takeaway

Accept love’s unpredictability.

Themes

love control emotion

Mood

reflective introspective

Type

literary philosophical

When to use this quote

- relationships
- self‑growth
- emotional decision‑making

Key Concepts

psychology of attachment autonomy

Questions to Reflect On

- How do you recognize when love is steering you?
- Can you set healthy boundaries while staying open?

A Different Perspective

Love can lead to loss of agency or poor choices.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Attempts Control](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attempts-control-3878464/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love Acts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-acts-2379353/) [Love Does](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-does/) [Problem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/problem/) [Problem Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/problem-love/) [Resists](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resists-589815/) [Resists Attempts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resists-attempts-5369026/)

## Related quotes

> [The mind is not a machine, it is an idea. And the Idea resists all attempts to control it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernard-beckett/the-mind-is-not-a-machine-it-is-an-idea-and-the-idea-resists-all/)

[Bernard Beckett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernard-beckett/)

> [Help &amp; love are the two acts that flourish and increase the more you give, they have the power to make one live even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/senoraroy/help-love-are-the-two-acts-that-flourish-and-increase-the-more-you/)

[Senoraroy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/senoraroy/)

> [When a person attempts to control someone else's life, it only reflects the lack of control they have on their own.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-a-person-attempts-to-control-someone-else-s-life-it-only/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“Your antivictimization stance will involve a great deal more than simply memorizing some assertive techniques and then taking a few risks when other people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wayne-w-dyer/your-antivictimization-stance-will-involve-a-great-deal-more-than/)

[Wayne W. Dyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wayne-w-dyer/)

> [The Fates guide the person who accepts them and hinder the person who resists them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cleanthes/the-fates-guide-the-person-who-accepts-them-and-hinder-the-person-who/)

[Cleanthes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cleanthes/)

> [“A stone resists the wind, no matter how small it is.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matshona-dhliwayo/a-stone-resists-the-wind-no-matter-how-small-it-is/)

[Matshona Dhliwayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matshona-dhliwayo/)

> [The stronger the identity, the more it imprisons, the more it resists expansion, interpretation, renewal, contradiction.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rem-koolhaas/the-stronger-the-identity-the-more-it-imprisons-the-more-it-resists/)

[Rem Koolhaas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rem-koolhaas/)

> [“When a human being resists his whole age and stops it at the gate to demand an accounting, this must have influence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/when-a-human-being-resists-his-whole-age-and-stops-it-at-the-gate-to/)

[Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/)

> [She who resists as though she would not win, By her own treason falls an easy prey.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ovid/she-who-resists-as-though-she-would-not-win-by-her-own-treason-falls/)

[Ovid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ovid/)

> [“The door refuses and resists any key which does not belong to that door!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/the-door-refuses-and-resists-any-key-which-does-not-belong-to-that/)

[Mehmet Murat ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/)

> [“The truth resists simplicity.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/the-truth-resists-simplicity/)

[John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/)

> [For there is no one so great or mighty that he can avoid the misery that will rise up against him when he resists…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-calvin/for-there-is-no-one-so-great-or-mighty-that-he-can-avoid-the-misery/)

[John Calvin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-calvin/)

> [The will to power can express itself only against resistances; it seeks that which resists it--this is the native tendency of theamoeba when it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/the-will-to-power-can-express-itself-only-against-resistances-it/)

[Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/)

> [Nature always resists the artist at the beginning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irving-stone/nature-always-resists-the-artist-at-the-beginning/)

[Irving Stone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irving-stone/)

> [The older I get, the more vulnerable I get. But the part of me that resists that, that is stubborn and wants to bulldoze…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maggie-gyllenhaal/the-older-i-get-the-more-vulnerable-i-get-but-the-part-of-me-that/)

[Maggie Gyllenhaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maggie-gyllenhaal/)

## More by Lauren Oliver

> [“My aunt Carol hasn’t heard her say a word in the whole six years and three months of Grace’s life—not a single syllable. Carol…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/my-aunt-carol-hasn-t-heard-her-say-a-word-in-the-whole-six-years-and/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

> [This is what happens when you try to help people. You get screwed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/this-is-what-happens-when-you-try-to-help-people-you-get-screwed/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

> [We'll walk together holding hands, and kiss in broad daylight, and love each other as much as we want to, and no one will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/we-ll-walk-together-holding-hands-and-kiss-in-broad-daylight-and-love/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

> [“It seem absurd to me that they don't know, haven't felt any change or tremor, even as my life has been completely turned upside…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/it-seem-absurd-to-me-that-they-don-t-know-haven-t-felt-any-change-or/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

> [“At least when I'm sleeping I can dream myself back to Alex, can dream myself into a different world.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/at-least-when-i-m-sleeping-i-can-dream-myself-back-to-alex-can-dream/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

> [People are like ants: Just a few of them give all the orders. And most of them spend their lives getting squashed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/people-are-like-ants-just-a-few-of-them-give-all-the-orders-and-most/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

> [Summer explodes into Portland. In early June the heat was there but not the color--the green were still pale and tentative, the morning had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/summer-explodes-into-portland-in-early-june-the-heat-was-there-but/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

> [Mistake, mistake, mistake. A strange word: stinging, somehow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/mistake-mistake-mistake-a-strange-word-stinging-somehow/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

> [I wonder if it's ever really possible to know the truth about someone else, or if the best we can do is just stumble…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/i-wonder-if-it-s-ever-really-possible-to-know-the-truth-about-someone/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

> [“Julian is somewhere among those lights, in that blur of people and buildings. I wonder whether he's scared. I wonder whether he's thinking of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/julian-is-somewhere-among-those-lights-in-that-blur-of-people-and/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

> [A room full of words that are nearly the truth but not quite, each note fluttering off the steam of its rose like a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/a-room-full-of-words-that-are-nearly-the-truth-but-not-quite-each/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

> [“She’s the kind of person who makes you feel drunk just by being around her, like suddenly the world’s edges are dulled and all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/she-s-the-kind-of-person-who-makes-you-feel-drunk-just-by-being/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

> [“Stop!” His voice rings out sharply, hard as a slap. He releases me and I stumble backward. “Alex is dead, do you hear me?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/stop-his-voice-rings-out-sharply-hard-as-a-slap-he-releases-me-and-i/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

> [..in that moment i realize how much i love the little everyday routines of my life..the details that are my life's special pattern, like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/in-that-moment-i-realize-how-much-i-love-the-little-everyday-routines/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

> [“You can't judge a book by its steel-toed combat boots.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/you-can-t-judge-a-book-by-its-steel-toed-combat-boots/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

[Explore all 1,181 Lauren Oliver quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

## More Love quotes

> [Whatever meaning 'Annie's Song' had for me on a personal level, there was also a larger context. It could just as easily have been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-denver/whatever-meaning-annie-s-song-had-for-me-on-a-personal-level-there/)

[John Denver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-denver/)

> [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I need a bath." He chuckled. "You smell of smoke, as do I." The duke turned, leaning heavily on his cane. "Jameson, open the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-hawkins/i-need-a-bath-he-chuckled-you-smell-of-smoke-as-do-i-the-duke-turned/)

[Karen Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-hawkins/)

> [I love going to Columbia, Missouri. That is a really underrated campus. It shocked me when I went there because I really didn't know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirk-herbstreit/i-love-going-to-columbia-missouri-that-is-a-really-underrated-campus/)

[Kirk Herbstreit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kirk-herbstreit/)

> [Life works most perfectly when a reciprocal love relationship is in place between man and God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-moore/life-works-most-perfectly-when-a-reciprocal-love-relationship-is-in/)

[Beth Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-moore/)

> [We talk to God--that is prayer; God talks to us--that is inspiration.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-emilie-cady/we-talk-to-god-that-is-prayer-god-talks-to-us-that-is-inspiration/)

[H. Emilie Cady](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-emilie-cady/)

> [I fell in love with social work, and that was my undoing as a poet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-rakosi/i-fell-in-love-with-social-work-and-that-was-my-undoing-as-a-poet/)

[Carl Rakosi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-rakosi/)

> [You cant be controlling in improv.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-walsh/you-cant-be-controlling-in-improv/)

[Matt Walsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-walsh/)

> [Everyone needs someone to love, and I choose you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/everyone-needs-someone-to-love-and-i-choose-you/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/i-think-here-s-what-i-ve-realized-from-interviewing-people-and-i-ve/)

[Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/)

> [“To be loved by a man, truly loved, made a woman feel as if she could burst. Of course, Lia was strong and could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-anne/to-be-loved-by-a-man-truly-loved-made-a-woman-feel-as-if-she-could/)

[Melody Anne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-anne/)

> [So when you take those tears, don't look to see I'm alright. …\*Seal - Violet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-nickel/so-when-you-take-those-tears-don-t-look-to-see-i-m-alright-seal-violet/)

[Eric Nickel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-nickel/)

> [Two things revolutionised life: moving to the countryside and falling in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-love/two-things-revolutionised-life-moving-to-the-countryside-and-falling/)

[Nick Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-love/)

> [“That horrible stinging sensation returned, the muscles behind my eyes straining as the first tear began to fall. “I’m scared, too. For eighteen months…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/devon-ashley/that-horrible-stinging-sensation-returned-the-muscles-behind-my-eyes/)

[Devon Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/devon-ashley/)

> [I could program a 'fabulous, I love it' kind of hit season right now. I'm more interested in breaking boundaries, telling a story, defying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-c-wolfe/i-could-program-a-fabulous-i-love-it-kind-of-hit-season-right-now-i-m/)

[George C. Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-c-wolfe/)

[Browse all 233,035 Love quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "But that's the problem with love - it acts on you, works through you, resists your attempts to control.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Lauren Oliver"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/but-that-s-the-problem-with-love-it-acts-on-you-works-through-you/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Love"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/but-that-s-the-problem-with-love-it-acts-on-you-works-through-you/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40f/lauren-oliver-109_love_but-that-s-the-problem-with-love-it-acts_3153796.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40f/lauren-oliver-109_love_but-that-s-the-problem-with-love-it-acts_3153796.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40f/lauren-oliver-109_love_but-that-s-the-problem-with-love-it-acts_3153796.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“But that's the problem with love - it acts on you, works through you, resists your attempts to control.” — Lauren Oliver",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Lauren Oliver",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "But that's the problem with love...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/but-that-s-the-problem-with-love-it-acts-on-you-works-through-you/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/but-that-s-the-problem-with-love-it-acts-on-you-works-through-you/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
