--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When people say stuff to us casually in…" description: "\"When people say stuff to us casually in reviews, if they write about it in a condescending way with really gendered language, that's not really about m..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/266/lauren-mayberry-3504_band_when-people-say-stuff-to-us-casually-in_630176.jpg" --- # When people say stuff to us casually in reviews, if they… ![“When people say stuff to us casually in reviews, if they write about it in a condescending way with really gendered language, that's not really about me. It used to hurt my feelings more than it does now. That's not about us as a band or me as a person. That's about how you feel about women, and…” quote by Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/266/lauren-mayberry-3504_band_when-people-say-stuff-to-us-casually-in_630176.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/266/lauren-mayberry-3504_band_when-people-say-stuff-to-us-casually-in_630176.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/266/lauren-mayberry-3504_band_when-people-say-stuff-to-us-casually-in_630176.jpg) > “When people say stuff to us casually in reviews, if they write about it in a condescending way with really gendered language, that's not really about me. It used to hurt my feelings more than it does now. That's not about us as a band or me as a person. That's about how you feel about women, and that's a societal thing.” [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Gendered, condescending criticism reflects societal bias rather than personal failure **In simple terms:** Criticism often reveals broader sexism Key Takeaway Recognize bias, not internalize it Themes gender bias media criticism self-esteem Mood frustrated reflective Type personal social commentary When to use this quote - music reviews - online comments - workplace feedback - social media - public speaking Key Concepts intersectionality social conditioning identity politics Questions to Reflect On - How do you separate personal hurt from systemic bias? - What steps can you take to address sexist language? A Different Perspective It may overlook personal impact and the need for empathy ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) [Hurt feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hurt-feelings/) [Hurt my feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hurt-my-feelings/) [Language](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/language/) [Women](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/women/) ## Related quotes > [“Does it distress you, reader, how I remind you of their sexes in each sentence? ‘Hers’ and ‘his’? Does it make you see them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ada-palmer/does-it-distress-you-reader-how-i-remind-you-of-their-sexes-in-each/) [Ada Palmer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ada-palmer/) > [You've hurt my feelings,you've broken my heart.I gave you my time.i gave you my trust but you left me for another one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irisjc/you-ve-hurt-my-feelings-you-ve-broken-my-heart-i-gave-you-my-time-i/) IrisJC > [Yeah I know I am not prefect, but do you think I care? no I don't, I love who I am and what I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t/yeah-i-know-i-am-not-prefect-but-do-you-think-i-care-no-i-don-t-i/) T > [“You were a child, you didn't mean to hurt my feelings. Children are ignorant. It takes an adult to choose to be cruel.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-strnad/you-were-a-child-you-didn-t-mean-to-hurt-my-feelings-children-are/) [Jan Strnad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-strnad/) > [When people hurt my feelings, forgive but never forget and there's a 95% chance you'll never get my trust back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-people-hurt-my-feelings-forgive-but-never-forget-and-there-s-a/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Growing up in the social media world, it's tough. Your face changes, you get older, your face fills out, and you fall into liking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mckayla-maroney/growing-up-in-the-social-media-world-it-s-tough-your-face-changes-you/) [McKayla Maroney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mckayla-maroney/) > [When I was listening in on the phone call where Andre Leon Talley was saying that he was going to get my fat, black…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabourey-sidibe/when-i-was-listening-in-on-the-phone-call-where-andre-leon-talley-was/) [Gabourey Sidibe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabourey-sidibe/) > [There's nothing that anyone could say about me that would hurt my feelings.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilyn-manson/there-s-nothing-that-anyone-could-say-about-me-that-would-hurt-my/) [Marilyn Manson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilyn-manson/) > [It would hurt my feelings if I respected your opinions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simon-cowell/it-would-hurt-my-feelings-if-i-respected-your-opinions/) [Simon Cowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simon-cowell/) > [“The interior of the arms dealer's private jet was so ugly it hurt my feelings as well as my eyeballs.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-hayes/the-interior-of-the-arms-dealer-s-private-jet-was-so-ugly-it-hurt-my/) [Terry Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-hayes/) > [I'd moved to L.A., and everyone's actors here and writers, they were like super emotional and super in touch with their feelings, and it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seth-rogen/i-d-moved-to-l-a-and-everyone-s-actors-here-and-writers-they-were/) [Seth Rogen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seth-rogen/) > [That really hurt my feelings, bro.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zack-ryder/that-really-hurt-my-feelings-bro/) [Zack Ryder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zack-ryder/) > [“Well, hell,” muttered Drake. “Do you do that to all the human women?” “No. Usually they’ve already started taking off their clothes by now.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-k-butcher/well-hell-muttered-drake-do-you-do-that-to-all-the-human-women-no/) [Shannon K. Butcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-k-butcher/) > [I'm really sensitive. And they don't understand that, because my most comfortable feeling is anger. So I'll get angry if you said something to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-jackson/i-m-really-sensitive-and-they-don-t-understand-that-because-my-most/) [Curtis Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-jackson/) > [There's not a thing that any of you guys can say bad about me that would hurt my feelings... I'm not coming at you,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vince-carter/there-s-not-a-thing-that-any-of-you-guys-can-say-bad-about-me-that/) [Vince Carter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vince-carter/) ## More by Lauren Mayberry > [Life's too short to be shoehorned into a box that isn't for you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-mayberry/life-s-too-short-to-be-shoehorned-into-a-box-that-isn-t-for-you/) [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) > [I speak a little bit of French and German, but apparently, I'm really bad at Dutch. The pronunciations are quite hard. I tried to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-mayberry/i-speak-a-little-bit-of-french-and-german-but-apparently-i-m-really/) [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) > [I don't buy into this idea that pop has to be frivolous or vacuous, and we've never subscribed to that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-mayberry/i-don-t-buy-into-this-idea-that-pop-has-to-be-frivolous-or-vacuous/) [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) > [I think looking at the front row of a Chvrches show is really diverse. It could be 50-year-old dudes who love Depeche Mode or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-mayberry/i-think-looking-at-the-front-row-of-a-chvrches-show-is-really-diverse/) [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) > [We come from a more alternative rock band background, and it's interesting to see the things that people think we should or shouldn't do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-mayberry/we-come-from-a-more-alternative-rock-band-background-and-it-s/) [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) > [Makeup and clothing and all that should be a fun way to be creative and express yourself. Just like in nature, where birds have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-mayberry/makeup-and-clothing-and-all-that-should-be-a-fun-way-to-be-creative/) [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) > [Objectification, whatever its form, is not something anyone should have to 'just deal with.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-mayberry/objectification-whatever-its-form-is-not-something-anyone-should-have/) [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) > [Even in the early stages, you can tell who thinks you're an idiot singing songs someone else has written for you. We never wanted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-mayberry/even-in-the-early-stages-you-can-tell-who-thinks-you-re-an-idiot/) [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) > [We should all be able to have faith that our governments are working in our best interests - and if they aren't, then they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-mayberry/we-should-all-be-able-to-have-faith-that-our-governments-are-working/) [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) > [Cacie Dalager's voice is beautiful, and her lyrics break my heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-mayberry/cacie-dalager-s-voice-is-beautiful-and-her-lyrics-break-my-heart/) [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) > [Just because I get to coast around in a nice, cushy little bubble, that's not how it is for everybody.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-mayberry/just-because-i-get-to-coast-around-in-a-nice-cushy-little-bubble-that/) [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) > [I've been in bands since I was about fifteen, so there are probably quite a lot of terrible teenage songs kicking about somewhere. I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-mayberry/i-ve-been-in-bands-since-i-was-about-fifteen-so-there-are-probably/) [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) > [Making sure that we interact with the fanbase in a way that feels right to us has been really important.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-mayberry/making-sure-that-we-interact-with-the-fanbase-in-a-way-that-feels/) [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) > [I think about politics, so it would be inauthentic not to talk about it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-mayberry/i-think-about-politics-so-it-would-be-inauthentic-not-to-talk-about-it/) [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) > [I don't want to be the front for somebody else's creativity and sell that day in, day out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-mayberry/i-don-t-want-to-be-the-front-for-somebody-else-s-creativity-and-sell/) [Lauren Mayberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) [Explore all 129 Lauren Mayberry quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-mayberry/) ## More Band quotes > [The reason I was drawn to the Band Perry was because they have a knack for doing rollicking country music that can sound a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phoebe-robinson/the-reason-i-was-drawn-to-the-band-perry-was-because-they-have-a/) [Phoebe Robinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phoebe-robinson/) > [It was an important period for us, because even though we weren't a "punk band", and what became a model for a punk band,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-mallinder/it-was-an-important-period-for-us-because-even-though-we-weren-t-a/) [Stephen Mallinder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-mallinder/) > [There is something to be said though when you have 4 or 5 guys playing with no net, there is a sense of urgency,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marco-mendoza/there-is-something-to-be-said-though-when-you-have-4-or-5-guys/) [Marco Mendoza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marco-mendoza/) > [My Nirvana experience was much different than the other three guys. For me, it was really new and exciting. I was just a guy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pat-smear/my-nirvana-experience-was-much-different-than-the-other-three-guys/) [Pat Smear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pat-smear/) > [I think my music has always been a mixture, depending on whom I'm working with - what band, what musicians, what producer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matisyahu/i-think-my-music-has-always-been-a-mixture-depending-on-whom-i-m/) [Matisyahu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matisyahu/) > [As you'll never hear the thing again, my boy, why not throw in a couple of brass bands?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-beecham/as-you-ll-never-hear-the-thing-again-my-boy-why-not-throw-in-a-couple/) [Thomas Beecham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-beecham/) > [I've always made sure that I tour with bands that people aren't expecting me to tour with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mayer-hawthorne/i-ve-always-made-sure-that-i-tour-with-bands-that-people-aren-t/) [Mayer Hawthorne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mayer-hawthorne/) > [There is more to me than just having been in the Runaways. And even though I'm really, really proud of what the band accomplished,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jackie-fuchs/there-is-more-to-me-than-just-having-been-in-the-runaways-and-even/) [Jackie Fuchs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jackie-fuchs/) > [I like the bad-boy types. Generally the guy I'm attracted to is the guy in the club with all the tattoos and nail polish.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megan-fox/i-like-the-bad-boy-types-generally-the-guy-i-m-attracted-to-is-the/) [Megan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megan-fox/) > [Bass guitar is the engine of the band.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzi-quatro/bass-guitar-is-the-engine-of-the-band/) [Suzi Quatro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzi-quatro/) > [I just became accustomed to being all the members of the band. That was something that was really exciting to me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacob-collier/i-just-became-accustomed-to-being-all-the-members-of-the-band-that/) [Jacob Collier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacob-collier/) > [I guess because we're essentially a two-man band, we're attracting Wham's crowd. But Wham! are more of a businessman's band.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curt-smith/i-guess-because-we-re-essentially-a-two-man-band-we-re-attracting/) [Curt Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curt-smith/) > [I'm about as privileged as you can get. I'm a white, male, heterosexual front man of a rock band.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-reynolds/i-m-about-as-privileged-as-you-can-get-i-m-a-white-male-heterosexual/) [Dan Reynolds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-reynolds/) > [I'd been playing in bands for something like seven years at this point. And we were always trying to get ahead, trying to rehearse…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aerosmith/i-d-been-playing-in-bands-for-something-like-seven-years-at-this/) [Aerosmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aerosmith/) > [Metallica's the only band i've ever been in. I'm not sure that when it ends in five, ten years, I'm going to put an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lars-ulrich/metallica-s-the-only-band-i-ve-ever-been-in-i-m-not-sure-that-when-it/) [Lars Ulrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lars-ulrich/) Browse all 6,497 Band quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When people say stuff to us casually in reviews, if they write about it in a condescending way with really gendered language, that's not really about me. It used to hurt my feelings more than it does now. That's not about us as a band or me as a person. 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