--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: My father had taught me to be nice first…" description: "\"My father had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later, but once you've been mean to someone, they won't believe the nice anymo..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/271/laurell-k-hamilton-199_being-nice_my-father-had-taught-me-to-be-nice-first_101022.png" --- # My father had taught me to be nice first, because you can… ![“My father had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later, but once you've been mean to someone, they won't believe the nice anymore. So be nice, be nice, until it's time to stop being nice, then destroy them.” quote by Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/271/laurell-k-hamilton-199_being-nice_my-father-had-taught-me-to-be-nice-first_101022.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/271/laurell-k-hamilton-199_being-nice_my-father-had-taught-me-to-be-nice-first_101022.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/271/laurell-k-hamilton-199_being-nice_my-father-had-taught-me-to-be-nice-first_101022.png) > “My father had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later, but once you've been mean to someone, they won't believe the nice anymore. So be nice, be nice, until it's time to stop being nice, then destroy them.” [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Kindness is a strategic front; once used, it loses credibility, and the speaker suggests switching to aggression when needed. **In simple terms:** Nice acts can be weaponized, then abandoned. Key Takeaway Manipulative kindness erodes trust. Themes manipulation trust strategy behavior Mood cynical critical Type advice cautionary When to use this quote - political campaigning - corporate negotiations - personal relationships Key Concepts psychological games ethical ambiguity Practical Applications - Maintain consistent values - Avoid using kindness as a tool Questions to Reflect On - When does kindness become manipulation? - How can you protect trust while setting boundaries? A Different Perspective Genuine kindness can coexist with firmness without ulterior motives. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Being nice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-nice/) [Believe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/believe/) [Father](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/father/) [Firsts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/firsts/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Mean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mean/) [Mean Later](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mean-later-1226159/) [Nice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nice/) [Nice Destroy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nice-destroy-1226157/) [Nice Mean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nice-mean-540226/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Stop Nice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stop-nice-720655/) [Taught](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/taught/) [Taught Nice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/taught-nice-1226158/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [Be nice, be nice, until it's time to stop being nice, then destroy them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/be-nice-be-nice-until-it-s-time-to-stop-being-nice-then-destroy-them/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [I tried living as a very nice person, but there’s no need to be nice .. you have to be mean to survive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-heechul/i-tried-living-as-a-very-nice-person-but-there-s-no-need-to-be-nice/) [Kim Heechul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-heechul/) > [I should really stop being nice, I should just not care about certain things...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-should-really-stop-being-nice-i-should-just-not-care-about-certain/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [My mother taught me to be nice to everybody. And she said something before I left home. She said, 'I want you to always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-segel/my-mother-taught-me-to-be-nice-to-everybody-and-she-said-something/) [Jason Segel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-segel/) > [Being African didn't mean anything to me until later in my life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fela-kuti/being-african-didn-t-mean-anything-to-me-until-later-in-my-life/) [Fela Kuti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fela-kuti/) > [I've been taught always be nice to the lighting people - they're the people you make friends with straight away so that's what I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laila-rouass/i-ve-been-taught-always-be-nice-to-the-lighting-people-they-re-the/) [Laila Rouass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laila-rouass/) > [I mean later we can try things out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/new-boyz/i-mean-later-we-can-try-things-out/) [New Boyz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/new-boyz/) > [You taught me to be nice, so nice that now I am so full of niceness, I have no sense of right and wrong,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-taught-me-to-be-nice-so-nice-that-now-i-am-so-full-of-niceness-i/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [The great thing about suicide is that it's not one of those things you have to do now or you lose your chance. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harvey-fierstein/the-great-thing-about-suicide-is-that-it-s-not-one-of-those-things/) [Harvey Fierstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harvey-fierstein/) > [People are always nice; I never get anything mean said to me on the street.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-lilley/people-are-always-nice-i-never-get-anything-mean-said-to-me-on-the/) [Chris Lilley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-lilley/) > [If someone is nice to you, how can you be mean to them?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teresa-giudice/if-someone-is-nice-to-you-how-can-you-be-mean-to-them/) [Teresa Giudice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teresa-giudice/) > [Be nice wont you?" "I am nice, I'm always nice." "But not too nice. I mean don't make a religion out of it, niceness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/be-nice-wont-you-i-am-nice-i-m-always-nice-but-not-too-nice-i-mean/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [Ill never let my son have an ego. Hell be nice to everyone, wherever we go. I mean, I might even make em be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kanye-west/ill-never-let-my-son-have-an-ego-hell-be-nice-to-everyone-wherever-we/) [Kanye West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kanye-west/) > [I would say that I need to stop being nice to people that don't appreciate it. I feel like they take it as a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-s/i-would-say-that-i-need-to-stop-being-nice-to-people-that-don-t/) [Scott S](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-s/) > [Stop being nice to people who treat you like straight shit. It gives them REASON to take advantage of you!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-malara/stop-being-nice-to-people-who-treat-you-like-straight-shit-it-gives/) [Michael MAlara](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-malara/) ## More by Laurell K. Hamilton > [“Edward: I don't know whether to put my fingers in my ears and go la-la-la or find more of your guards so we can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/edward-i-don-t-know-whether-to-put-my-fingers-in-my-ears-and-go-la-la/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [If you’re alive, don’t move, if you’re dead, don’t worry about it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/if-you-re-alive-don-t-move-if-you-re-dead-don-t-worry-about-it/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [So many wonderful books to write, and not enough hours in the day. An embarrassment of riches.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/so-many-wonderful-books-to-write-and-not-enough-hours-in-the-day-an/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [Money doesn't spend in hell… The devil deals in a different coin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/money-doesn-t-spend-in-hell-the-devil-deals-in-a-different-coin/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [There comes a point when you either embrace who and what you are, or condemn yourself to be miserable all your days. Other people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/there-comes-a-point-when-you-either-embrace-who-and-what-you-are-or/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [“I slowed, just a little, one to save energy, and one to let Russell catch up sooner. I took a big breath and prepared.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/i-slowed-just-a-little-one-to-save-energy-and-one-to-let-russell/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [“It wasn't just my beast's hunger, but Jean-Claude's blood thirst and Richard's craving for flesh. It was all that and the ardeur running through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/it-wasn-t-just-my-beast-s-hunger-but-jean-claude-s-blood-thirst-and/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [I know that look, Blake. You are a drowning woman, and the only way out is down the aisle.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/i-know-that-look-blake-you-are-a-drowning-woman-and-the-only-way-out/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [“Just another day in my life. This was one of those days when I thought that maybe a new life, a different life, wouldn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/just-another-day-in-my-life-this-was-one-of-those-days-when-i-thought/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [“What is that old children’s rhyme, ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me’? Anyone who says that doesn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/what-is-that-old-children-s-rhyme-sticks-and-stones-may-break-my/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [...you don't need ghosts to be haunted. Memory does that just fine without any supernatural help at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/you-don-t-need-ghosts-to-be-haunted-memory-does-that-just-fine/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [I hated missing the end of anything. I was always convinced that the bit I'd miss would be the best part.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/i-hated-missing-the-end-of-anything-i-was-always-convinced-that-the/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [He made a small sigh, as he swallowed the first blood, then his mouth closed over my earlobe, mouth working at the wound, tongue…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/he-made-a-small-sigh-as-he-swallowed-the-first-blood-then-his-mouth/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [He gave a small nod, and I smiled back, and that was it. He understood that I'd understood that he'd understood. It took us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/he-gave-a-small-nod-and-i-smiled-back-and-that-was-it-he-understood/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) > [ \[T\]hese last few days where I've moped around damn near depressed for real, because of people who do not exist. Not really. I can… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/t-hese-last-few-days-where-i-ve-moped-around-damn-near-depressed-for/) [Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) [Explore all 921 Laurell K. Hamilton quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/) ## More Being nice quotes > [Business school graduates from the best schools earn large salaries and frequently rise to positions of great power. It would be nice if they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-pfeffer/business-school-graduates-from-the-best-schools-earn-large-salaries/) [Jeffrey Pfeffer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-pfeffer/) > [Good people are found not changed. Recently I read a headline that said, 'We don't teach people to be nice. We simply hire nice…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-rohn/good-people-are-found-not-changed-recently-i-read-a-headline-that/) [Jim Rohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-rohn/) > [What is needed, however, isn't just that people working together be nice to each other. It is discipline. Discipline is hard--harder than trustworthiness and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/atul-gawande/what-is-needed-however-isn-t-just-that-people-working-together-be/) [Atul Gawande](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/atul-gawande/) > [I think there's a lot of scope in broadening the way videogames approach depictions of masculinity, which is still extremely narrow in scope. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-druckmann/i-think-there-s-a-lot-of-scope-in-broadening-the-way-videogames/) [Neil Druckmann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-druckmann/) > [He put his arms around her. “Well, in my defense, then, whatever I did seemed to work, didn't it?” She sighed. “I suppose.” “You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholas-sparks/he-put-his-arms-around-her-well-in-my-defense-then-whatever-i-did/) [Nicholas Sparks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicholas-sparks/) > [Somewhere where people aren't so mad would be nice, but I don't know if there is anywhere like that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elliott-smith/somewhere-where-people-aren-t-so-mad-would-be-nice-but-i-don-t-know/) [Elliott Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elliott-smith/) > [Most of the people I know who were raised to be accommodating or were raised to just be nice and put everybody's needs ahead…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/most-of-the-people-i-know-who-were-raised-to-be-accommodating-or-were/) [Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/) > [“When we are nice to others, we generally lose all claim to their respect.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/when-we-are-nice-to-others-we-generally-lose-all-claim-to-their/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [Being nice from now on, leaving the old BS where it's at.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/being-nice-from-now-on-leaving-the-old-bs-where-it-s-at/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I can see that I imagine all kinds of rejection that never happens. I can see that I beg and plead for love that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-wurtzel/i-can-see-that-i-imagine-all-kinds-of-rejection-that-never-happens-i/) [Elizabeth Wurtzel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-wurtzel/) > [I think music is better listened to with other people. Music is better shared. It depends what situation you're in - if it's a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-odell/i-think-music-is-better-listened-to-with-other-people-music-is-better/) [Tom Odell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-odell/) > [Everybody wants to be good, but not many are prepared to make the sacrifices it takes to be great. To many people, being nice…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-arden/everybody-wants-to-be-good-but-not-many-are-prepared-to-make-the-2/) [Paul Arden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-arden/) > [Give me a mirror.Or holy water. I'll drink it,even!" I gasped as someone threw water on the side of my face. "A little warning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiersten-white/give-me-a-mirror-or-holy-water-i-ll-drink-it-even-i-gasped-as-someone/) [Kiersten White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiersten-white/) > [What inspired me as a child is the same thing that inspires me now: being nice. I always try to one up everybody with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joell-ortiz/what-inspired-me-as-a-child-is-the-same-thing-that-inspires-me-now/) [Joell Ortiz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joell-ortiz/) > [My ex-wife was trying to be nice once, so she took me to a concert in Los Angeles. I went with her to Symphony…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/b-b-king/my-ex-wife-was-trying-to-be-nice-once-so-she-took-me-to-a-concert-in/) [B. B. King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/b-b-king/) [Browse all 659 Being nice quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-nice/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My father had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later, but once you've been mean to someone, they won't believe the nice anymore. So be nice, be nice, until it's time to stop being nice, then destroy them.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Laurell K. 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