---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: In my own life, I have found grief to be…"
description: "\"In my own life, I have found grief to be enormously distorting, particularly if it's sudden or extreme in nature.\" — Laura van den Berg"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f52/laura-van-den-berg-4314_death_in-my-own-life-i-have-found-grief-to-be_2103972.jpg"
---

#  In my own life, I have found grief to be enormously…

![“In my own life, I have found grief to be enormously distorting, particularly if it's sudden or extreme in nature.” quote by Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f52/laura-van-den-berg-4314_death_in-my-own-life-i-have-found-grief-to-be_2103972.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f52/laura-van-den-berg-4314_death_in-my-own-life-i-have-found-grief-to-be_2103972.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f52/laura-van-den-berg-4314_death_in-my-own-life-i-have-found-grief-to-be_2103972.jpg)

> “In my own life, I have found grief to be enormously distorting, particularly if it's sudden or extreme in nature.”

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Grief can warp perception, especially when it arrives abruptly or intensely.

**In simple terms:** Grief distorts view, especially sudden.

Key Takeaway

Recognize distortion, seek clarity.

Themes

grief perception emotional turmoil

Mood

sad reflective

Type

personal psychological

When to use this quote

- counseling sessions
- support groups
- personal reflection
- creative expression

Key Concepts

psychology cognitive bias trauma

Questions to Reflect On

- How does sudden loss change your worldview?
- What strategies help regain perspective?

A Different Perspective

Grief may also foster empathy and growth.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) [Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Nature](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nature/)

## Related quotes

> [In life, grief was a journey through a forest of razor blades. I walked through every painful inch of it no shortcuts and no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/in-life-grief-was-a-journey-through-a-forest-of-razor-blades-i-walked/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“Remember you are water. Of course you leave salt trails. Of course you are crying. Flow. P.S. If there happens to be a multitude…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adrienne-maree-brown/remember-you-are-water-of-course-you-leave-salt-trails-of-course-you/)

[Adrienne Maree Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adrienne-maree-brown/)

> [Life is full of grief, to exactly the degree we allow ourselves to love other people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/orson-scott-card/life-is-full-of-grief-to-exactly-the-degree-we-allow-ourselves-to/)

[Orson Scott Card](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/orson-scott-card/)

> [“The midwife blinked back her own tears. "I don't know But these will be difficult days for your family. The midwife was right: the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-moran/the-midwife-blinked-back-her-own-tears-i-don-t-know-but-these-will-be/)

[Michelle Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-moran/)

> [Grief is neither a disorder nor a healing process; it is a sign of health itself, a whole and natural gesture of love. Nor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gerald-may/grief-is-neither-a-disorder-nor-a-healing-process-it-is-a-sign-of/)

[Gerald May](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gerald-may/)

> [She wanted—what some people want throughout life—a grief that should deeply touch her, and thus humanize and make her capable of sympathy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-hawthorne/she-wanted-what-some-people-want-throughout-life-a-grief-that-should/)

[Nathaniel Hawthorne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-hawthorne/)

> [I can laugh at my own grief.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neena-gupta/i-can-laugh-at-my-own-grief/)

[Neena Gupta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neena-gupta/)

> [No one could save me from the grief of losing my child or losing my first marriage. I had to do that on my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-levy/no-one-could-save-me-from-the-grief-of-losing-my-child-or-losing-my/)

[Ariel Levy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-levy/)

> [Only to have a grief equal to all these tears!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adrienne-rich/only-to-have-a-grief-equal-to-all-these-tears/)

[Adrienne Rich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adrienne-rich/)

> [“When we learn to attribute meaning to the events in our lives, we connect with our Higher Purpose, Higher Wisdom, or Source; we become…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-barbara-apollon/when-we-learn-to-attribute-meaning-to-the-events-in-our-lives-we/)

[Susan Barbara Apollon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-barbara-apollon/)

> [You dont choose your life; it chooses you. Theres no point asking why life has reserved certain joys or griefs, you just accept them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/you-dont-choose-your-life-it-chooses-you-theres-no-point-asking-why/)

[Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/)

> [... how much of our inner substance is it good for us to give to public griefs? The whole modern tendency to agonize over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-bogan/how-much-of-our-inner-substance-is-it-good-for-us-to-give-to-public/)

[Louise Bogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-bogan/)

> [You felt a deep sorrow, the kind of melancholy you feel when you're in a beautiful place and the sun is going down](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thrity-umrigar/you-felt-a-deep-sorrow-the-kind-of-melancholy-you-feel-when-you-re-in/)

[Thrity Umrigar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thrity-umrigar/)

> [“You must understand the pain and grief of losing someone is nothing more than a function of survival.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-cooper/you-must-understand-the-pain-and-grief-of-losing-someone-is-nothing/)

[Steven Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-cooper/)

> [“...they had lived, they'd lived intensely. But no matter how deeply you live, it comes to this in the end: one of you will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-morton/they-had-lived-they-d-lived-intensely-but-no-matter-how-deeply-you/)

[Brian Morton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-morton/)

## More by Laura van den Berg

> [I was born and raised in Orlando, where the economy and culture has been powerfully shaped by tourism, and so I've long been interested…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/i-was-born-and-raised-in-orlando-where-the-economy-and-culture-has/)

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

> [I lived in Boston for three years, and during that time, I wrote my first collection of stories, 'What the World Will Look Like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/i-lived-in-boston-for-three-years-and-during-that-time-i-wrote-my/)

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

> [I take a pretty expansive view of craft, which is to say I don't see craft as just being technique - it's also process;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/i-take-a-pretty-expansive-view-of-craft-which-is-to-say-i-don-t-see/)

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

> [To me, in general, something that's really rich in terms of identity about transit spaces is that they're so intimate. Especially thinking about long…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/to-me-in-general-something-that-s-really-rich-in-terms-of-identity/)

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

> [To a certain degree, I think both self-narrativizing and selective memory are essential survival skills.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/to-a-certain-degree-i-think-both-self-narrativizing-and-selective/)

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

> [There's the public self that we present to the outer world. There's the private self, which maybe takes more time to access. But ultimately,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/there-s-the-public-self-that-we-present-to-the-outer-world-there-s/)

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

> [I think my concern is I know my voice, and I know the kinds of landscapes that interest me, so my primary concern is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/i-think-my-concern-is-i-know-my-voice-and-i-know-the-kinds-of/)

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

> [My students are often asking me, 'What do you think are the most important qualities for a writer?' And one thing I always tells…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/my-students-are-often-asking-me-what-do-you-think-are-the-most/)

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

> [As a reader, I appreciate a world that feels unsettled and also visceral, inhabitable, so that's a quality I try and bring to my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/as-a-reader-i-appreciate-a-world-that-feels-unsettled-and-also/)

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

> [Youth is such a fascinating and volatile concoction of vulnerability, dependence, restlessness, relentlessness. You're still learning the terms of the world and of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/youth-is-such-a-fascinating-and-volatile-concoction-of-vulnerability/)

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

> [As a genre, the best horror poses central human questions - Who can you trust? What is the cost of our secrets? What is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/as-a-genre-the-best-horror-poses-central-human-questions-who-can-you/)

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

> [Paradoxically, the only thing that helps when I'm feeling despairing about writing is to write.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/paradoxically-the-only-thing-that-helps-when-i-m-feeling-despairing/)

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

> [“Over time, we became less sure we were something the other wanted to hold on to.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/over-time-we-became-less-sure-we-were-something-the-other-wanted-to/)

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

> [Ever since I started writing in college, I have, save for a few short breaks here and there, been working away on something. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/ever-since-i-started-writing-in-college-i-have-save-for-a-few-short/)

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

> [I wager we have a vast amount of literature out there that tends to the stories of men, so I've never really worried too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/i-wager-we-have-a-vast-amount-of-literature-out-there-that-tends-to/)

[Laura van den Berg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

[Explore all 113 Laura van den Berg quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/)

## More Death quotes

> [“He wondered how it was fair that your dying should depend so much on when you were born.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-albom/he-wondered-how-it-was-fair-that-your-dying-should-depend-so-much-on/)

[Mitch Albom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-albom/)

> [What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions. Life is plurality, death is uniformity. By suppressing differences and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/octavio-paz/what-sets-worlds-in-motion-is-the-interplay-of-differences-their/)

[Octavio Paz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/octavio-paz/)

> [Most of us are convinced that we are our egos, which is who we think we are. The ego is part of our incarnation.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ram-dass/most-of-us-are-convinced-that-we-are-our-egos-which-is-who-we-think/)

[Ram Dass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ram-dass/)

> [I do not want to live at the cost of the life even of a snake. I should let him bite me to death…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahatma-gandhi/i-do-not-want-to-live-at-the-cost-of-the-life-even-of-a-snake-i/)

[Mahatma Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahatma-gandhi/)

> [“It was beautiful. He thought he had never seen anything so beautiful in all his life; that, having seen it, he could die content,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mira-grant/it-was-beautiful-he-thought-he-had-never-seen-anything-so-beautiful/)

[Mira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mira-grant/)

> [Retirement? You're talking about death, right?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-altman/retirement-you-re-talking-about-death-right/)

[Robert Altman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-altman/)

> [With multiplayer, permanent death, and an ever-changing world to explore and conquer, 'A Valley Without Wind' might be the place you're looking for if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-manuel/with-multiplayer-permanent-death-and-an-ever-changing-world-to/)

[Rob Manuel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-manuel/)

> [“What did you see?” she asked gently. His brow furrowed, as if he could not understand the question. Then his eyes turned to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-anthony-torino/what-did-you-see-she-asked-gently-his-brow-furrowed-as-if-he-could/)

J. Anthony Torino

> [Those whose life is long still strive for gain, and for all mortals all things take second place to money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophocles/those-whose-life-is-long-still-strive-for-gain-and-for-all-mortals/)

[Sophocles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophocles/)

> [“I practice Dying--every night-- But have not learned to, still-- Though Talented--by Mortal bones-- For such a common Skill.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-w-powers/i-practice-dying-every-night-but-have-not-learned-to-still-though/)

Alan W. Powers

> [“You must understand the pain and grief of losing someone is nothing more than a function of survival.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-cooper/you-must-understand-the-pain-and-grief-of-losing-someone-is-nothing/)

[Steven Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-cooper/)

> [I am not a depressive person at all, but I reflect a lot on my life, and life in general, from the perspective of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/i-am-not-a-depressive-person-at-all-but-i-reflect-a-lot-on-my-life/)

[Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/)

> [“Death is a reality that calls the rest of life and all of our assorted strivings into sharp relief.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-d-lounsbrough/death-is-a-reality-that-calls-the-rest-of-life-and-all-of-our/)

[Craig D. Lounsbrough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-d-lounsbrough/)

> [I love life. I love life to death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emmanuelle-riva/i-love-life-i-love-life-to-death/)

[Emmanuelle Riva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emmanuelle-riva/)

> [I think when you’re dying you start looking for important things in the corners. You can’t let anything that seems even semi-important pass, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-crutcher/i-think-when-you-re-dying-you-start-looking-for-important-things-in/)

[Chris Crutcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-crutcher/)

[Browse all 39,127 Death quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "In my own life, I have found grief to be enormously distorting, particularly if it's sudden or extreme in nature.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Laura van den Berg"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/in-my-own-life-i-have-found-grief-to-be-enormously-distorting/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Death"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/in-my-own-life-i-have-found-grief-to-be-enormously-distorting/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f52/laura-van-den-berg-4314_death_in-my-own-life-i-have-found-grief-to-be_2103972.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f52/laura-van-den-berg-4314_death_in-my-own-life-i-have-found-grief-to-be_2103972.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f52/laura-van-den-berg-4314_death_in-my-own-life-i-have-found-grief-to-be_2103972.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“In my own life, I have found grief to be enormously distorting, particularly if it's sudden or extreme in…” — Laura van den Berg",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Laura van den Berg",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-van-den-berg/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "In my own life, I have...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/in-my-own-life-i-have-found-grief-to-be-enormously-distorting/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-van-den-berg/in-my-own-life-i-have-found-grief-to-be-enormously-distorting/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
