--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Oyster Tom said that they were not…" description: "\"“Oyster Tom said that they were not talking about people but about men. He agreed that most men remain accountable to themselves only, and that but poo..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ed/lance-weller-63565_men_oyster-tom-said-that-they-were-not-talki_1899620.jpg" --- # Oyster Tom said that they were not talking about people… ![“Oyster Tom said that they were not talking about people but about men. He agreed that most men remain accountable to themselves only, and that but poorly. He said that the proper chore of a man is to be chargeable for those and that dear to him and that this was something women understood and knew…” quote by Lance Weller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ed/lance-weller-63565_men_oyster-tom-said-that-they-were-not-talki_1899620.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ed/lance-weller-63565_men_oyster-tom-said-that-they-were-not-talki_1899620.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ed/lance-weller-63565_men_oyster-tom-said-that-they-were-not-talki_1899620.jpg) > ““Oyster Tom said that they were not talking about people but about men. He agreed that most men remain accountable to themselves only, and that but poorly. He said that the proper chore of a man is to be chargeable for those and that dear to him and that this was something women understood and knew how to do without being told. It was a thing women looked for in their men, and this was why most women lived lives of bottomless sorrow.”” [Lance Weller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lance-weller/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Men often feel accountable only to themselves, while women value men who are responsible to loved ones; this mismatch causes women's sorrow. **In simple terms:** Men’s self‑focus clashes with women’s desire for responsibility. Key Takeaway Cultivate responsibility to loved ones. Themes relationships gender roles accountability Mood thoughtful empathetic Type literary reflective When to use this quote - marriage counseling - parenting - workplace dynamics - personal development Key Concepts masculinity emotional labor Questions to Reflect On - How can men embrace broader responsibility? - What supports help women find fulfillment? A Different Perspective Some men may resist external accountability. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/) [Men and women](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men-and-women/) [Women](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/women/) ## Related quotes > [“I wondered if other single women understood the delight that came from fifth-wheeling it. To not have to make small talk with some guy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-wondered-if-other-single-women-understood-the-delight-that-came/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Woolsey quirked an eyebrow. “You are a funny thing,” he said. “I would say I could see what those boys see in you, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/woolsey-quirked-an-eyebrow-you-are-a-funny-thing-he-said-i-would-say/) [Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/) > [“Her eyes widened and her mouth formed an anguished O. He had to admit, there was real pleasure in seeing her pay the price…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/val-mcdermid/her-eyes-widened-and-her-mouth-formed-an-anguished-o-he-had-to-admit/) [Val McDermid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/val-mcdermid/) > [“Dr. Tom had said that Texas was the only place he had ever found that, when it killed you, it didn't forget about you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathleen-kent/dr-tom-had-said-that-texas-was-the-only-place-he-had-ever-found-that/) [Kathleen Kent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathleen-kent/) > [Once, when Tom was over here, to tease Rose, I asked him, "Before she was born, can you remember? Were things just the same…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hilary-mckay/once-when-tom-was-over-here-to-tease-rose-i-asked-him-before-she-was/) [Hilary McKay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hilary-mckay/) > [“Guns and badges don’t scare everyone,” Black Tom said.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victor-lavalle/guns-and-badges-don-t-scare-everyone-black-tom-said/) [Victor LaValle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/victor-lavalle/) > [“For perhaps the first time in recorded history, Coalhouse and I agree on something," Tom said.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lia-habel/for-perhaps-the-first-time-in-recorded-history-coalhouse-and-i-agree/) [Lia Habel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lia-habel/) > [“Tom said people should repaint their houses in and out, especially in, at least once a year—because who wants to live with the memories…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-lentricchia/tom-said-people-should-repaint-their-houses-in-and-out-especially-in/) [Frank Lentricchia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-lentricchia/) > [I was leaving the hotel to get to the fight when my phone went and someone said 'Hello Ricky, it's Tom'. I said 'Tom…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ricky-hatton/i-was-leaving-the-hotel-to-get-to-the-fight-when-my-phone-went-and/) [Ricky Hatton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ricky-hatton/) > [Tom said to himself that it was not such a hollow world, after all. He had discovered a great law of human action, without…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/tom-said-to-himself-that-it-was-not-such-a-hollow-world-after-all-he/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [Negative people that say 'You can't do that' got told the same thing. Don't listen to them, do what they never had the guts…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/negative-people-that-say-you-can-t-do-that-got-told-the-same-thing/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“I told her there was one more thing, and then I officially came out of the closet and told her I was gay. She…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-benedict/i-told-her-there-was-one-more-thing-and-then-i-officially-came-out-of/) [Charles Benedict](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-benedict/) > [“What’s the one thing so terrible that you’ve never told anyone? The one thing no one could ever forgive?” She stares hard into him.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-dunbar/what-s-the-one-thing-so-terrible-that-you-ve-never-told-anyone-the/) [Robert Dunbar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-dunbar/) > [“There's not such thing as handsome princes, she told herself. There's no such thing as happily ever after. She looked up at Park. Into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rainbow-rowell/there-s-not-such-thing-as-handsome-princes-she-told-herself-there-s/) [Rainbow Rowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rainbow-rowell/) > [“He always told them the same thing, to begin with. ‘Try to avoid falseness and strain. Write what you really know about. Make it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-s-byatt/he-always-told-them-the-same-thing-to-begin-with-try-to-avoid/) [A.S. Byatt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-s-byatt/) ## More by Lance Weller > [“Able closed his eyes. He was running. The grass was green with spring and fragrant, knee-high and cushioning his steps. And there was sun…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lance-weller/able-closed-his-eyes-he-was-running-the-grass-was-green-with-spring/) [Lance Weller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lance-weller/) > [“This is what men must do. Their true job." "What's that?" "Take responsibility for what's theirs and let go the rest." "Seems the trick,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lance-weller/this-is-what-men-must-do-their-true-job-what-s-that-take/) [Lance Weller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lance-weller/) > [“I'm American. Like I told you. And I'm American and not something else because they failed that day. They couldn't do it and most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lance-weller/i-m-american-like-i-told-you-and-i-m-american-and-not-something-else/) [Lance Weller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lance-weller/) > [“It knew these things the same way a dog knows well the heart of the man it loves and understands it in better ways…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lance-weller/it-knew-these-things-the-same-way-a-dog-knows-well-the-heart-of-the/) [Lance Weller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lance-weller/) [Explore all 5 Lance Weller quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lance-weller/) ## More Men quotes > [When I passed the Chancellor he arose, waved his hand at me, and I waved back at him. I think the writers showed bad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-owens/when-i-passed-the-chancellor-he-arose-waved-his-hand-at-me-and-i/) [Jesse Owens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-owens/) > [Life works most perfectly when a reciprocal love relationship is in place between man and God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-moore/life-works-most-perfectly-when-a-reciprocal-love-relationship-is-in/) [Beth Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-moore/) > [The man who can master his time can master nearly anything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winston-churchill/the-man-who-can-master-his-time-can-master-nearly-anything/) [Winston Churchill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winston-churchill/) > [We do not want nowadays temples of worship and outward rites and ceremonies. What we really want is an Asram. We want a place…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rabindranath-tagore/we-do-not-want-nowadays-temples-of-worship-and-outward-rites-and/) [Rabindranath Tagore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rabindranath-tagore/) > [Before Noah, men having only water to drink, could not find the truth. Accordingly...they became abominably wicked, and they were justly exterminated by the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-franklin/before-noah-men-having-only-water-to-drink-could-not-find-the-truth/) [Benjamin Franklin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-franklin/) > [Social responsibility above the level of family, or at most of tribe, requires imagination-- devotion, loyalty, all the higher virtues -- which a man…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-a-heinlein/social-responsibility-above-the-level-of-family-or-at-most-of-tribe/) [Robert A. Heinlein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-a-heinlein/) > [Most celebrated men live in a condition of prostitution.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-augustin-sainte-beuve/most-celebrated-men-live-in-a-condition-of-prostitution/) [Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-augustin-sainte-beuve/) > [I cannot forbid a person to marry several wives, for it does not contradict Scripture. MARTIN LUTHER, letter to Chancellor Gregory Brück, January 13,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-de-la-bruyere/i-cannot-forbid-a-person-to-marry-several-wives-for-it-does-not/) [Jean de la Bruyere](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-de-la-bruyere/) > [Hats off to starting a franchise younger than we all did in 'Twilight' and keeping your cool. The 'Harry Potter' men and women had,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kellan-lutz/hats-off-to-starting-a-franchise-younger-than-we-all-did-in-twilight/) [Kellan Lutz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kellan-lutz/) > [Young men, especially in America, write to me and ask me to recommend “a course of reading.” Distrust a course of reading! People who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-lang/young-men-especially-in-america-write-to-me-and-ask-me-to-recommend-a/) [Andrew Lang](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-lang/) > [The prophet who fails to present a bearable alternative and yet preaches doom is part of the trap that he postulates. Not only does…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-mead/the-prophet-who-fails-to-present-a-bearable-alternative-and-yet/) [Margaret Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-mead/) > [ That country \[Carthage\] was rapidly sinking into the state of barbarism from whence it had been raised by the Phoenician colonies and Roman laws;… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-gibbon/that-country-carthage-was-rapidly-sinking-into-the-state-of-barbarism/) [Edward Gibbon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-gibbon/) > [Nothing is so powerful as an insight into human nature... what compulsions drive a man, what instincts dominate his action. If you know these…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-bernbach/nothing-is-so-powerful-as-an-insight-into-human-nature-what/) [William Bernbach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-bernbach/) > [But we are convinced that if we are to play a meaningful role nationally, and in the community of nations, we must be second…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-sarabhai/but-we-are-convinced-that-if-we-are-to-play-a-meaningful-role/) [Vikram Sarabhai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-sarabhai/) > [“Every select man strives instinctively for a citadel and a privacy, where he is FREE from the crowd, the many, the majority-- where he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/every-select-man-strives-instinctively-for-a-citadel-and-a-privacy/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) [Browse all 84,229 Men quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Oyster Tom said that they were not talking about people but about men. He agreed that most men remain accountable to themselves only, and that but poorly. He said that the proper chore of a man is to be chargeable for those and that dear to him and that this was something women understood and knew how to do without being told. It was a thing women looked for in their men, and this was why most women lived lives of bottomless sorrow.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lance Weller" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lance-weller/oyster-tom-said-that-they-were-not-talking-about-people-but-about-men/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Men" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lance-weller/oyster-tom-said-that-they-were-not-talking-about-people-but-about-men/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ed/lance-weller-63565_men_oyster-tom-said-that-they-were-not-talki_1899620.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ed/lance-weller-63565_men_oyster-tom-said-that-they-were-not-talki_1899620.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ed/lance-weller-63565_men_oyster-tom-said-that-they-were-not-talki_1899620.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Oyster Tom said that they were not talking about people but about men. He agreed that most men remain…” — Lance Weller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Lance Weller", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lance-weller/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“Oyster Tom said that they were...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lance-weller/oyster-tom-said-that-they-were-not-talking-about-people-but-about-men/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lance-weller/oyster-tom-said-that-they-were-not-talking-about-people-but-about-men/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```