--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: By the same token, I think it's time that…" description: "\"“By the same token, I think it's time that we allow ourselves to experience real anger as women. And I don't mean that passive aggressive dance that we..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/36f/koren-zailckas-12998_anger_by-the-same-token-i-think-it-s-time-that_2487377.jpg" --- # By the same token, I think it's time that we allow… ![“By the same token, I think it's time that we allow ourselves to experience real anger as women. And I don't mean that passive aggressive dance that we've employed for too many years. It's not real anger if it is implied or a few degrees removed, if it takes the form of whispering, or cold…” quote by Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/36f/koren-zailckas-12998_anger_by-the-same-token-i-think-it-s-time-that_2487377.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/36f/koren-zailckas-12998_anger_by-the-same-token-i-think-it-s-time-that_2487377.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/36f/koren-zailckas-12998_anger_by-the-same-token-i-think-it-s-time-that_2487377.jpg) > ““By the same token, I think it's time that we allow ourselves to experience real anger as women. And I don't mean that passive aggressive dance that we've employed for too many years. It's not real anger if it is implied or a few degrees removed, if it takes the form of whispering, or cold shoulders, or silent treatment. Real anger is what popular culture would have us be afraid of, based on the fact that it is not courteous, elegant, or feminine.”” [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Encourages women to express authentic, unapologetic anger rather than masking it with socially acceptable but diluted behaviors. **In simple terms:** Women should express true anger openly. Key Takeaway Allow genuine anger without self‑censorship. Themes gender emotion authenticity social norms empowerment Mood defiant empowering Type feminist psychological When to use this quote - workplace conflict - personal relationships - activism - therapy sessions - public speaking Key Concepts feminist theory emotional intelligence psychology Questions to Reflect On - How does you anger affect your relationships? - What risks arise when you suppress anger? A Different Perspective Societal expectations may still penalize overt female anger. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Anger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) [Anger Implied](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger-implied-370493/) [Anger Popular](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger-popular-928737/) [Anger Women](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger-women-640320/) [Cold shoulder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cold-shoulder/) [Passive aggressive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/passive-aggressive/) [Popular culture](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/popular-culture/) [Real Anger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real-anger-928736/) [Silent treatment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/silent-treatment/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [“Anger implied someone had managed to change his mood and Zar didn't allow anyone to control his ways but himself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vi-voxley/anger-implied-someone-had-managed-to-change-his-mood-and-zar-didn-t/) [Vi Voxley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vi-voxley/) > [When I think of the cold shoulder, its like the service line being cut off during a phone call. The receiver says hello? hello?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asnea-hu/when-i-think-of-the-cold-shoulder-its-like-the-service-line-being-cut/) [Asnea Hu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asnea-hu/) > [Johnny Depp's performance is quite remarkable. Sweeney's desire for revenge and the simmering anger and hurt that he feels carry the story forward, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-sondheim/johnny-depp-s-performance-is-quite-remarkable-sweeney-s-desire-for/) [Stephen Sondheim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-sondheim/) > [I think there's a core of real anger or misery inside every true stand-up comic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-raab/i-think-there-s-a-core-of-real-anger-or-misery-inside-every-true/) [Scott Raab](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-raab/) > [“But I tell you this, Sepiriz—given the opportunity I shall make that god rue his homecoming, for he has done the one thing that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-moorcock/but-i-tell-you-this-sepiriz-given-the-opportunity-i-shall-make-that/) [Michael Moorcock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-moorcock/) > [I don’t have anger towards women. It’s the first script I wrote, I was really young. I got older. It’s told from an angry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-glodell/i-don-t-have-anger-towards-women-it-s-the-first-script-i-wrote-i-was/) [Evan Glodell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-glodell/) > [ \[I was\] particularly eager to give voice to the women of my mother's place and generation, who grew up in turn-of-the-century, privileged New England… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tina-howe/i-was-particularly-eager-to-give-voice-to-the-women-of-my-mother-s/) [Tina Howe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tina-howe/) > [A theme that has always interested me is how women express anger, how women express violence. That is very much part of who women…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gillian-flynn/a-theme-that-has-always-interested-me-is-how-women-express-anger-how/) [Gillian Flynn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gillian-flynn/) > [There is an element of anger among women who've been raped. There's certainly a major element of humiliation. But it really does seem like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholas-d-kristof/there-is-an-element-of-anger-among-women-who-ve-been-raped-there-s/) [Nicholas D. Kristof](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicholas-d-kristof/) > [“When Alex leaves a little later, Carlos steps forward. “Need help?” I shake my head. “Are you ever gonna talk to me again? Dammit,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simone-elkeles/when-alex-leaves-a-little-later-carlos-steps-forward-need-help-i/) [Simone Elkeles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simone-elkeles/) > [Haha I knew the silent treatment was going to work on your ass! you didnt even last a day!! haha anyways I got what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patience/haha-i-knew-the-silent-treatment-was-going-to-work-on-your-ass-you/) [Patience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patience/) > [“Dr. Susan Forward has written extensively in this area and lists the types of toxic personalities.   The verbal abusers demoralize and diminish another…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-b-brooks/dr-susan-forward-has-written-extensively-in-this-area-and-lists-the/) [C.B. Brooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-b-brooks/) > [“wen thectaste of my own medicine is given to me results into silent treatment,its not bitter therefore i enjoy the medicine i gave you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohlalefi-j-motsima/wen-thectaste-of-my-own-medicine-is-given-to-me-results-into-silent/) [mohlalefi j motsima](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohlalefi-j-motsima/) > [“The list of correlations to that night is as long as the Jersey coast. And so is the list of reasons I shouldn't be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-banks/the-list-of-correlations-to-that-night-is-as-long-as-the-jersey-coast/) [Anna Banks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-banks/) > [On those days when we're not ready to stop being offended, not ready to forgive, still determined to dish out the silent treatment, what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheri-l-dew/on-those-days-when-we-re-not-ready-to-stop-being-offended-not-ready/) [Sheri L. Dew](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheri-l-dew/) ## More by Koren Zailckas > [My short stature may have something to do with my tendency to shout when enraged. How else is anyone going to hear me way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koren-zailckas/my-short-stature-may-have-something-to-do-with-my-tendency-to-shout/) [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) > [I grew up in a family that despised displays of strong emotion, rage in particular. We stewed. We sulked. When arguments did occur, they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koren-zailckas/i-grew-up-in-a-family-that-despised-displays-of-strong-emotion-rage/) [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) > [I think when you're 14 years old, I think you're sort of looking for markers that prove you're an adult and you're independent of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koren-zailckas/i-think-when-you-re-14-years-old-i-think-you-re-sort-of-looking-for/) [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) > [What makes a narcissistic mother so scary? Her absolute power and controlling influence. A narcissistic mother is your only 'friend,' at least until you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koren-zailckas/what-makes-a-narcissistic-mother-so-scary-her-absolute-power-and/) [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) > [“Instead of seeing bad in yourself, you perceive it in others. It’s a defense mechanism. One that allows people to go on believing they’re…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koren-zailckas/instead-of-seeing-bad-in-yourself-you-perceive-it-in-others-it-s-a/) [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) > [For the first month of school, writing is its own upper. Pounding on my computer keys feels like playing the piano, like arranging words…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koren-zailckas/for-the-first-month-of-school-writing-is-its-own-upper-pounding-on-my/) [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) > [Having a child doesn't make a woman a mother any more than owning a paintbrush makes her Frida Kahlo.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koren-zailckas/having-a-child-doesn-t-make-a-woman-a-mother-any-more-than-owning-a/) [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) > [I'm sick of the ignorance that lack of funding has generated, of the fathers who apporach me at dinner parties with their four-year-old girls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koren-zailckas/i-m-sick-of-the-ignorance-that-lack-of-funding-has-generated-of-the/) [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) > [If mothers are our first teachers, then having a narcissistic one teaches us that human closeness is terrifying, and the world is a heartless,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koren-zailckas/if-mothers-are-our-first-teachers-then-having-a-narcissistic-one/) [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) > [I don't know where the idea originated that memoir writing is cathartic. For me, it's always felt like playing my own neurosurgeon, sans anesthesia.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koren-zailckas/i-don-t-know-where-the-idea-originated-that-memoir-writing-is/) [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) > [Since I've quit drinking, I'm not sure I've found the good life, but I've certainly uncovered a better one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koren-zailckas/since-i-ve-quit-drinking-i-m-not-sure-i-ve-found-the-good-life-but-i/) [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) > [Like most women, I remember my first drink in tender minutiae.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koren-zailckas/like-most-women-i-remember-my-first-drink-in-tender-minutiae/) [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) > [“One night, Tess finds me sobbing during the health segment of the evening news. Scientists have discovered scarred cells from cardiac arrest fall away…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koren-zailckas/one-night-tess-finds-me-sobbing-during-the-health-segment-of-the/) [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) > [I am aware that somewhere along the line, I've subconsciously turned down the pitch of my speech, like a silencer of a gun that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koren-zailckas/i-am-aware-that-somewhere-along-the-line-i-ve-subconsciously-turned/) [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) > [“For the next four years, they will again and again tout themselves as “real” and I will be too naïve to know that anyone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koren-zailckas/for-the-next-four-years-they-will-again-and-again-tout-themselves-as/) [Koren Zailckas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) [Explore all 52 Koren Zailckas quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koren-zailckas/) ## More Anger quotes > [“If I let myself think of it the pain and anger were still fresh, adrenalin racing down my limbs to pool, hot and itchy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kylie-ladd/if-i-let-myself-think-of-it-the-pain-and-anger-were-still-fresh/) [Kylie Ladd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kylie-ladd/) > [I receive something we might euphemistically call an 'inappropriately hostile' response - that is to say, more than fair criticism or even fair anger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-beard/i-receive-something-we-might-euphemistically-call-an-inappropriately/) [Mary Beard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-beard/) > [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [Anger is a rough water; if you can canalize it into a water mill, you can benefit from it. Anything bad can be transformed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/anger-is-a-rough-water-if-you-can-canalize-it-into-a-water-mill-you/) [Mehmet Murat Ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) > [“Some say the Earth is angry Because he wants no company; I say the Earth is angry Because he lives alone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/n-k-jemisin/some-say-the-earth-is-angry-because-he-wants-no-company-i-say-the/) [N.K. Jemisin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-k-jemisin/) > [“When you feel terribly angry, you're possessed by anger ghost.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/when-you-feel-terribly-angry-you-re-possessed-by-anger-ghost/) [Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/) > [“Medical studies have shown that cursing reduces levels of stress and pain. Repressing your anger is not healthy. It's much better to verbalize it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/medical-studies-have-shown-that-cursing-reduces-levels-of-stress-and/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [My care will be in the heart n not in words My anger will be in Words n not in the Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/my-care-will-be-in-the-heart-n-not-in-words-my-anger-will-be-in-words/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/you-should-be-angry-you-must-not-be-bitter-bitterness-is-like-cancer/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-be-a-negro-in-this-country-and-to-be-relatively-conscious-is-to-be/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/god-you-had-enough-time-to-have-been-through-it-three-times-you-ve/) [Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/) > [The present contains nothing more than the past, and what is found in the effect was already in the cause.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-bergson/the-present-contains-nothing-more-than-the-past-and-what-is-found-in/) [Henri Bergson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-bergson/) > [Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/depression-is-merely-anger-without-enthusiasm/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [I always fight better when my opponent's angry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-haye/i-always-fight-better-when-my-opponent-s-angry/) [David Haye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-haye/) > [ “Where there are kashays (anger-pride-deceit-greed), there is worldly life. As long as anger-pride-deceit-greed exist; one is a sansaari \[living a worldly life\] regardless of… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dada-bhagwan/where-there-are-kashays-anger-pride-deceit-greed-there-is-worldly/) [Dada Bhagwan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dada-bhagwan/) [Browse all 7,469 Anger quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“By the same token, I think it's time that we allow ourselves to experience real anger as women. And I don't mean that passive aggressive dance that we've employed for too many years. It's not real anger if it is implied or a few degrees removed, if it takes the form of whispering, or cold shoulders, or silent treatment. 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