--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: You're not supposed to let a guy define…" description: "\"“You're not supposed to let a guy define you, but what if not having him as part of your definition is harder than having him at all.”\" — Kim" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/baf/kim-40349_harder_you-re-not-supposed-to-let-a-guy-define_3076833.jpg" --- # You're not supposed to let a guy define you, but what if… ![“You're not supposed to let a guy define you, but what if not having him as part of your definition is harder than having him at all.” quote by Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/baf/kim-40349_harder_you-re-not-supposed-to-let-a-guy-define_3076833.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/baf/kim-40349_harder_you-re-not-supposed-to-let-a-guy-define_3076833.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/baf/kim-40349_harder_you-re-not-supposed-to-let-a-guy-define_3076833.jpg) > ““You're not supposed to let a guy define you, but what if not having him as part of your definition is harder than having him at all.”” [Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. One should not let another person define identity, yet the absence of that person can be even more difficult. **In simple terms:** Identity shouldn't rely on others, but loss can be painful. Key Takeaway Seek self‑definition beyond relationships. Themes identity relationships self‑worth Mood reflective melancholic Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - breakups - career changes - family dynamics - personal growth Key Concepts psychology of self attachment theory Questions to Reflect On - What defines you beyond others' opinions? - How do you cope when a defining relationship ends? A Different Perspective Overcoming others' influence is challenging. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet ## Related quotes > [Dimitri: "They weren't supposed to let you in."Rose: "Yeah. Well, I kind of found a work-around."Dimitri: "Of course you did."- Dimitri Belikov and Rose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-mead/dimitri-they-weren-t-supposed-to-let-you-in-rose-yeah-well-i-kind-of/) [Richelle Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-mead/) > [You'll never get what you truly desevre if your too attched to the things you're supposed to let go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-ll-never-get-what-you-truly-desevre-if-your-too-attched-to-the/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Is it harder having kids and working? It definitely is, but the payoff is you get to go home to your kids, and it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edie-falco/is-it-harder-having-kids-and-working-it-definitely-is-but-the-payoff/) [Edie Falco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edie-falco/) > [To have it halfway is harder than not having it at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-have-it-halfway-is-harder-than-not-having-it-at-all/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Having your second child, in case you were wondering, is a lot harder than having your first, except for those people who find it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cusk/having-your-second-child-in-case-you-were-wondering-is-a-lot-harder/) [Rachel Cusk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cusk/) > [People say, we'd rather have something than nothing at all. Truth is, to have something halfway is harder than having nothing at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/people-say-we-d-rather-have-something-than-nothing-at-all-truth-is-to/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I dont know why we all hang on to something we know were better off letting go. Its like were scared to lose what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nate/i-dont-know-why-we-all-hang-on-to-something-we-know-were-better-off-2/) [Nate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nate/) > [It's harder for me, never having brought up a child, to enter the universe of the child.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eckhart-tolle/it-s-harder-for-me-never-having-brought-up-a-child-to-enter-the/) [Eckhart Tolle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eckhart-tolle/) > [I don't know why we all hang on to something we know were better off letting go. 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Dionne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-j-dionne/) > [We've all seen talented young players who get to a certain level but there comes a point where that talent will only take you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-gatland/we-ve-all-seen-talented-young-players-who-get-to-a-certain-level-but/) [Warren Gatland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-gatland/) > [Politics only makes the difficult challenge of marriage even harder, with the demands of the job and the public spotlight it casts on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-mckinnon/politics-only-makes-the-difficult-challenge-of-marriage-even-harder/) [Mark McKinnon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-mckinnon/) > [It's a lot harder to play football when you haven't got the ball.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-gray/it-s-a-lot-harder-to-play-football-when-you-haven-t-got-the-ball/) [Andy Gray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-gray/) > [Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dane-cook/some-people-give-you-that-motivation-to-work-harder-simply-to-get-the/) [Dane Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dane-cook/) ## More by Kim > [Am supposed to be who I am !.Never give up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim/am-supposed-to-be-who-i-am-never-give-up/) [Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim/) > [“Why do we need school when we have BOOKS?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim/why-do-we-need-school-when-we-have-books/) [Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim/) > [“Junkoust cleaner is meant to increase memory space and optimise PC. It is the best cleaner for your PC. The full, paid version of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim/junkoust-cleaner-is-meant-to-increase-memory-space-and-optimise-pc-it/) [Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim/) > [I hate when I wake up and find in ma phone many missed calls from other people and when check well I miss her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim/i-hate-when-i-wake-up-and-find-in-ma-phone-many-missed-calls-from/) [Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim/) > [“When life gives you lemons, you are supposed to make lemonade. But what if you don't want to ruin that perfectly good lemon just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim/when-life-gives-you-lemons-you-are-supposed-to-make-lemonade-but-what/) [Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim/) > [We are born to love and to be loved no matter how we are poor and rich,big and small,black and white becouse love is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim/we-are-born-to-love-and-to-be-loved-no-matter-how-we-are-poor-and/) [Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim/) > [You can never escape for love and for being loved.if u love just accept it and appreciate it and if u are loved by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim/you-can-never-escape-for-love-and-for-being-loved-if-u-love-just/) [Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim/) > [Letting go can let you see what else is out there instead of settling down for something that may not be the best option…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim/letting-go-can-let-you-see-what-else-is-out-there-instead-of-settling/) [Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim/) > [“Accept the love that is shown. Kim”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim/accept-the-love-that-is-shown-kim/) [Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim/) > [Never ignore someone who shows you a real love becouse someday you will realize that you lost diamond while you were busy collecting stones.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim/never-ignore-someone-who-shows-you-a-real-love-becouse-someday-you/) [Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim/) [Explore all 11 Kim quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim/) ## More Harder quotes > [Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dane-cook/some-people-give-you-that-motivation-to-work-harder-simply-to-get-the/) [Dane Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dane-cook/) > [It's a lot harder to play football when you haven't got the ball.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-gray/it-s-a-lot-harder-to-play-football-when-you-haven-t-got-the-ball/) [Andy Gray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-gray/) > [Politics only makes the difficult challenge of marriage even harder, with the demands of the job and the public spotlight it casts on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-mckinnon/politics-only-makes-the-difficult-challenge-of-marriage-even-harder/) [Mark McKinnon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-mckinnon/) > [We've all seen talented young players who get to a certain level but there comes a point where that talent will only take you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-gatland/we-ve-all-seen-talented-young-players-who-get-to-a-certain-level-but/) [Warren Gatland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-gatland/) > [Forgive me for noting that conservatives seem to believe that the rich will work harder if we give them more, and the poor will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-j-dionne/forgive-me-for-noting-that-conservatives-seem-to-believe-that-the/) [E. J. Dionne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-j-dionne/) > [Fossil fuels, including oil, are running out and supplies are getting harder to find. If we do nothing, prices will continue to rise and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-powell/fossil-fuels-including-oil-are-running-out-and-supplies-are-getting/) [Lucy Powell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-powell/) > [Kids, if anything, are harder to write for because they are a more discerning audience. They will not stay with you if you go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-riordan/kids-if-anything-are-harder-to-write-for-because-they-are-a-more/) [Rick Riordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-riordan/) > [It is easy to take a photograph, but it is harder to make a masterpiece in photography than in any other art medium.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ansel-adams/it-is-easy-to-take-a-photograph-but-it-is-harder-to-make-a/) [Ansel Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ansel-adams/) > [Harder to get in than out, like so little else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dessen/harder-to-get-in-than-out-like-so-little-else/) [Sarah Dessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dessen/) > [A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/a-hardback-s-harder-at-christmas-time-because-that-s-a-good-hardback/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [Indifference is harder to fight than hostility, and there is nothing that kills an agitation like having everybody admit that it is fundamentally right.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/crystal-eastman/indifference-is-harder-to-fight-than-hostility-and-there-is-nothing/) [Crystal Eastman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/crystal-eastman/) > [There's nothing harder than making a mellow, clean record. It's really scary. I can see why people would never want to do it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ty-segall/there-s-nothing-harder-than-making-a-mellow-clean-record-it-s-really/) [Ty Segall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ty-segall/) > [I met Tyler Perry and we did 'House of Payne' and a movie. We've done a couple other films since then, but it all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lance-gross/i-met-tyler-perry-and-we-did-house-of-payne-and-a-movie-we-ve-done-a/) [Lance Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lance-gross/) > [God puts you where God needs you. You are where you are supposed to be. The job you are doing may not be any…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lawrence-kushner/god-puts-you-where-god-needs-you-you-are-where-you-are-supposed-to-be/) [Lawrence Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lawrence-kushner/) > [What is needed, however, isn't just that people working together be nice to each other. It is discipline. Discipline is hard--harder than trustworthiness and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/atul-gawande/what-is-needed-however-isn-t-just-that-people-working-together-be/) [Atul Gawande](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/atul-gawande/) Browse all 3,695 Harder quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“You're not supposed to let a guy define you, but what if not having him as part of your definition is harder than having him at all.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Kim" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim/you-re-not-supposed-to-let-a-guy-define-you-but-what-if-not-having/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Harder" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim/you-re-not-supposed-to-let-a-guy-define-you-but-what-if-not-having/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/baf/kim-40349_harder_you-re-not-supposed-to-let-a-guy-define_3076833.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/baf/kim-40349_harder_you-re-not-supposed-to-let-a-guy-define_3076833.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/baf/kim-40349_harder_you-re-not-supposed-to-let-a-guy-define_3076833.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You're not supposed to let a guy define you, but what if not having him as part of your definition is harder…” — Kim", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Kim", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“You're not supposed to let a...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim/you-re-not-supposed-to-let-a-guy-define-you-but-what-if-not-having/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim/you-re-not-supposed-to-let-a-guy-define-you-but-what-if-not-having/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```