---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Instead of asking your child what they…"
description: "\"“Instead of asking your child what they learned today, ask them who they helped today.”\" — Kevin Kelly"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a3/kevin-kelly-2418_child_instead-of-asking-your-child-what-they-l_1989984.png"
---

#  Instead of asking your child what they learned today, ask…

![“Instead of asking your child what they learned today, ask them who they helped today.” quote by Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a3/kevin-kelly-2418_child_instead-of-asking-your-child-what-they-l_1989984.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a3/kevin-kelly-2418_child_instead-of-asking-your-child-what-they-l_1989984.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a3/kevin-kelly-2418_child_instead-of-asking-your-child-what-they-l_1989984.png)

> ““Instead of asking your child what they learned today, ask them who they helped today.””

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Shifting focus from academic learning to acts of kindness encourages valuing empathy and social contribution over mere knowledge.

**In simple terms:** Ask who they helped, not what they learned.

Key Takeaway

Prioritize helping others daily.

Themes

empathy education kindness parenting

Mood

encouraging reflective

Type

advice parenting

When to use this quote

- family discussions
- school curricula
- volunteer programs
- leadership training
- ethical coaching

Key Concepts

social development character building community service

Questions to Reflect On

- How can you integrate learning with helping?
- What simple act can you encourage today?

A Different Perspective

May overlook academic achievements.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Ask Helped](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ask-helped-3444834/) [Asking Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asking-child-3444833/) [Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/) [Child Learned](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child-learned-1011769/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Disrespect](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disrespect/) [Helped Today](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/helped-today-571706/) [Kind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kind/) [Manners](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/manners/) [Raising children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/raising-children/) [Today Ask](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today-ask-437450/)

## Related quotes

> [I made a good association with Karan Johar. If I want anything, I think I can ask him. He has helped us a lot.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/prabhas/i-made-a-good-association-with-karan-johar-if-i-want-anything-i-think/)

[Prabhas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/prabhas/)

> [“You're asking yourself, Can I give this child the best possible upbringing and keep her out of harm's way her whole life long? The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/you-re-asking-yourself-can-i-give-this-child-the-best-possible/)

[Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/)

> [“Much of the control exerted by the caregiver is accomplished through being indirect, such as implying expectations. The caregiver may tell the child what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elliot-greene/much-of-the-control-exerted-by-the-caregiver-is-accomplished-through/)

[Elliot Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elliot-greene/)

> [Contrast the United States with any country on the face of the earth today and ask yourself whether the situation of the United States…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-cabot-lodge/contrast-the-united-states-with-any-country-on-the-face-of-the-earth/)

[Henry Cabot Lodge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-cabot-lodge/)

> [Just for today, SMILE a little more. Just for today, ask someone how he or she is really doing. Just for today, remember, while…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/just-for-today-smile-a-little-more-just-for-today-ask-someone-how-he/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [That's my life in there. It would never be possible today to ask as many questions as I did.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/helen-suzman/that-s-my-life-in-there-it-would-never-be-possible-today-to-ask-as/)

[Helen Suzman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/helen-suzman/)

> [As a military child I first learned how to deal with different types of people and how to deal with order.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shaquille-o-neal/as-a-military-child-i-first-learned-how-to-deal-with-different-types/)

[Shaquille O'Neal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shaquille-o-neal/)

> [“I'm just a child who's learned to impersonate an adult.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-cunningham/i-m-just-a-child-who-s-learned-to-impersonate-an-adult/)

[Michael Cunningham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-cunningham/)

> [As a child, I learned hundreds of poems by heart, which I can recite to this day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caterina-fake/as-a-child-i-learned-hundreds-of-poems-by-heart-which-i-can-recite-to/)

[Caterina Fake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caterina-fake/)

> [“The perception of a child who has not yet learned to protect itself by developing the tunnel vision that keeps out ninety percent of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/the-perception-of-a-child-who-has-not-yet-learned-to-protect-itself/)

[Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/)

> [As a child I learned what it meant to be persecuted. But, even then, at the worst of times, I knew there was good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-lowy/as-a-child-i-learned-what-it-meant-to-be-persecuted-but-even-then-at/)

[Frank Lowy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-lowy/)

> [“The mouse and his child, who had learned so much and had prevailed against such overwhelming odds, never could be persuaded to teach a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-hoban/the-mouse-and-his-child-who-had-learned-so-much-and-had-prevailed/)

[Russell Hoban](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-hoban/)

> [By the age of six the average child will have completed the basic American education… From television, the child will have learned how to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/by-the-age-of-six-the-average-child-will-have-completed-the-basic/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“He and many others helped me survive. "There are days I can't breathe because I'm too scared to walk out the door alone, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-a-fox/he-and-many-others-helped-me-survive-there-are-days-i-can-t-breathe/)

[Adam A. Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-a-fox/)

> [“Yesterday God helped me, Today He’ll do the same. How long will this continue? Forever—praise His name!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-w-wiersbe/yesterday-god-helped-me-today-he-ll-do-the-same-how-long-will-this/)

[Warren W. Wiersbe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-w-wiersbe/)

## More by Kevin Kelly

> [We are reaching deep within ourselves to adjust the master knob.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/we-are-reaching-deep-within-ourselves-to-adjust-the-master-knob/)

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

> [This is the culmination of a lot of people's vision. I think this is just another step towards making Central Michigan football among the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/this-is-the-culmination-of-a-lot-of-people-s-vision-i-think-this-is/)

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

> [“When copies are free, you need to sell things that cannot be copied. Well, what can’t be copied? Trust, for instance.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/when-copies-are-free-you-need-to-sell-things-that-cannot-be-copied/)

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

> [“Existence, it seems, is chiefly maintenance.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/existence-it-seems-is-chiefly-maintenance/)

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

> [“We have no certainty we’ll contact extraterrestrial beings from one of the billion earthlike planets in the sky in the next 200 years, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/we-have-no-certainty-we-ll-contact-extraterrestrial-beings-from-one/)

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

> [Changing things from the top down works when things are stable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/changing-things-from-the-top-down-works-when-things-are-stable/)

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

> [It's generally much easier to kill an organization than to change it substantially.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/it-s-generally-much-easier-to-kill-an-organization-than-to-change-it/)

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

> [The only organization capable of unprejudiced growth, or unguided learning, is a network. All othertopologies limit what can happen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/the-only-organization-capable-of-unprejudiced-growth-or-unguided/)

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

> [We have to get better at believing the impossible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/we-have-to-get-better-at-believing-the-impossible/)

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

> [“Our most important mechanical inventions are not machines that do what humans do better, but machines that can do things we can’t do at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/our-most-important-mechanical-inventions-are-not-machines-that-do/)

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

> [“In the universal library, no book will be an island. It’s all connected.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/in-the-universal-library-no-book-will-be-an-island-it-s-all-connected/)

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

> [Singularity is the point at which "all the change in the last million years will be superseded by the change in the next five…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/singularity-is-the-point-at-which-all-the-change-in-the-last-million/)

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

> [We tend to think of the mind of an organization residing in the CEO and the organization's top managers, perhaps with the help of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/we-tend-to-think-of-the-mind-of-an-organization-residing-in-the-ceo/)

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

> [The smallest thought could not exist unless the entire universe and the laws of physics were in some way encouraging it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/the-smallest-thought-could-not-exist-unless-the-entire-universe-and/)

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

> [“From the days of Sumerian clay tablets until now, humans have “published” at least 310 million books, 1.4 billion articles and essays, 180 million…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/from-the-days-of-sumerian-clay-tablets-until-now-humans-have/)

[Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

[Explore all 167 Kevin Kelly quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/)

## More Child quotes

> [The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/the-thing-about-hitting-kids-is-think-about-if-you-were-doing-the/)

[Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/)

> [“Children's lives are always beginning and adults' lives are always ending. Or is it the opposite? Your childhood is always ending and your adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-espach/children-s-lives-are-always-beginning-and-adults-lives-are-always/)

[Alison Espach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-espach/)

> [“As parents who make every effort we can to raise our children in loving security, we do not need to feel more guilt than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/as-parents-who-make-every-effort-we-can-to-raise-our-children-in/)

[Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/)

> [I want to make my music and be a happy woman, a good wife, a good mom and one day hopefully have a child…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leann-rimes/i-want-to-make-my-music-and-be-a-happy-woman-a-good-wife-a-good-mom/)

[LeAnn Rimes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leann-rimes/)

> [I would have done well as a gypsy child, I think. A circus baby. I coulda played a great street urchin or ragamuffin. Or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natasha-lyonne/i-would-have-done-well-as-a-gypsy-child-i-think-a-circus-baby-i/)

[Natasha Lyonne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natasha-lyonne/)

> [We're raising children who have little tolerance for disappointment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/we-re-raising-children-who-have-little-tolerance-for-disappointment/)

[Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/)

> [I'm a weirdo and an only child. That comes together to create one-woman shows.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-seales/i-m-a-weirdo-and-an-only-child-that-comes-together-to-create-one/)

[Amanda Seales](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-seales/)

> [“Every child is born as angel.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/every-child-is-born-as-angel/)

[Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/)

> [To assist a child we must provide him with an environment which will enable him to develop freely.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-montessori/to-assist-a-child-we-must-provide-him-with-an-environment-which-will/)

[Maria Montessori](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-montessori/)

> [Almost everywhere we find . . . the use of various coercive measures, to rid ourselves as quickly as possible of the child withinus--i.e.,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/almost-everywhere-we-find-the-use-of-various-coercive-measures-to-rid/)

[Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/)

> [Since I was a little child, my nose - I think it's too big.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/celine-dion/since-i-was-a-little-child-my-nose-i-think-it-s-too-big/)

[Celine Dion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/celine-dion/)

> [if we center our lives on BMWs, RVs, VCRs, PCs and the other acronyms of consumerism, we cannot expect our children to do otherwise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnnetta-b-cole/if-we-center-our-lives-on-bmws-rvs-vcrs-pcs-and-the-other-acronyms-of/)

[Johnnetta B. Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnnetta-b-cole/)

> [Bring up your children in the way you think other peoples children should go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/bring-up-your-children-in-the-way-you-think-other-peoples-children/)

[Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/)

> [Parents who are stressed or disturbed will have more difficulty in meeting their children's needs. Parents who have little support--from friends, relatives, neighbors, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-kamerman/parents-who-are-stressed-or-disturbed-will-have-more-difficulty-in/)

[Sheila Kamerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-kamerman/)

> [My first three manuscripts were epic fantasy - like high fantasy - and then the fourth one was a historical fantasy about Mozart as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marie-lu/my-first-three-manuscripts-were-epic-fantasy-like-high-fantasy-and/)

[Marie Lu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marie-lu/)

[Browse all 10,700 Child quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“Instead of asking your child what they learned today, ask them who they helped today.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Kevin Kelly"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/instead-of-asking-your-child-what-they-learned-today-ask-them-who/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Child"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/instead-of-asking-your-child-what-they-learned-today-ask-them-who/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a3/kevin-kelly-2418_child_instead-of-asking-your-child-what-they-l_1989984.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a3/kevin-kelly-2418_child_instead-of-asking-your-child-what-they-l_1989984.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a3/kevin-kelly-2418_child_instead-of-asking-your-child-what-they-l_1989984.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Instead of asking your child what they learned today, ask them who they helped today.” — Kevin Kelly",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Kevin Kelly",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“Instead of asking your child what...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/instead-of-asking-your-child-what-they-learned-today-ask-them-who/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/instead-of-asking-your-child-what-they-learned-today-ask-them-who/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
