---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Kindness is not the same as niceness or…"
description: "\"“Kindness is not the same as niceness or putting our heads in the sand, or avoiding conflict. It is acknowledging that no life is as it seems on the su..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/54f/kerry-egan-67701_kindness_kindness-is-not-the-same-as-niceness-or_1333916.jpg"
---

#  Kindness is not the same as niceness or putting our heads…

![“Kindness is not the same as niceness or putting our heads in the sand, or avoiding conflict. It is acknowledging that no life is as it seems on the surface. It is understanding that we never know all the layers in a life and choosing to speak and act from that difficult gray place in all of us.” quote by Kerry Egan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/54f/kerry-egan-67701_kindness_kindness-is-not-the-same-as-niceness-or_1333916.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/54f/kerry-egan-67701_kindness_kindness-is-not-the-same-as-niceness-or_1333916.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/54f/kerry-egan-67701_kindness_kindness-is-not-the-same-as-niceness-or_1333916.jpg)

> ““Kindness is not the same as niceness or putting our heads in the sand, or avoiding conflict. It is acknowledging that no life is as it seems on the surface. It is understanding that we never know all the layers in a life and choosing to speak and act from that difficult gray place in all of us.””

[Kerry Egan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-egan/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Kindness involves confronting complex truths and acting from empathy, not merely being pleasant or avoiding conflict.

**In simple terms:** Kindness is deep empathy, not just niceness.

Key Takeaway

Embrace compassionate honesty.

Themes

kindness empathy truth conflict complexity

Mood

empathetic reflective

Type

ethical inspirational

When to use this quote

- personal relationships
- workplace mediation
- community building
- mental health support

Key Concepts

Moral philosophy psychology social dynamics

Questions to Reflect On

- What uncomfortable truths can you address kindly?
- How does empathy change conflict resolution?

A Different Perspective

Hard truth can cause discomfort.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Acknowledging](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/acknowledging/) [Acknowledging Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/acknowledging-life-3190967/) [Avoiding Conflict](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/avoiding-conflict/) [Kindness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kindness/) [Kindness Niceness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kindness-niceness-3237017/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Niceness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/niceness/) [Niceness Putting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/niceness-putting-4485140/) [War](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/war/)

## Related quotes

> [“You cannot ask for forgiveness without acknowledging that there is something in life that is more important than the progress of your own kingdom.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-david-tripp/you-cannot-ask-for-forgiveness-without-acknowledging-that-there-is/)

[Paul David Tripp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-david-tripp/)

> [Acknowledging death means you're acknowledging life at the same time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naomi-ackie/acknowledging-death-means-you-re-acknowledging-life-at-the-same-time/)

[Naomi Ackie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naomi-ackie/)

> [“But Paying It Forward is about spontaneously offering favors, not needing to say yes when someone asks too much of you. And also, it’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherine-ryan-hyde/but-paying-it-forward-is-about-spontaneously-offering-favors-not/)

[Catherine Ryan Hyde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherine-ryan-hyde/)

> [“...or perhaps about acknowledging that life is a delicate balance of great forces, and that good would lose its potency if there was no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-fortier/or-perhaps-about-acknowledging-that-life-is-a-delicate-balance-of/)

[Anne Fortier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-fortier/)

> [When we're being grateful it means that we're acknowledging that life is a gift, that life is a blessing, that this body is only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mc-yogi/when-we-re-being-grateful-it-means-that-we-re-acknowledging-that-life/)

[MC Yogi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mc-yogi/)

> [I wish to pay attention to what we can do better to prevent conflict. Because by avoiding conflict, we save human lives, and we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miroslav-lajcak/i-wish-to-pay-attention-to-what-we-can-do-better-to-prevent-conflict/)

[Miroslav Lajcak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miroslav-lajcak/)

> [America's ability to levy effective sanctions creates deterrence, saving us money by avoiding conflict, and it is the dollar's preeminent status that makes American…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-bessent/america-s-ability-to-levy-effective-sanctions-creates-deterrence/)

[Scott Bessent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-bessent/)

> [“Autonomous and voluntary behaviour.” These words, hewn from the discussion about avoiding conflicting interests, strike fear in the hearts of technologists. “Control and determinism”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-burgess/autonomous-and-voluntary-behaviour-these-words-hewn-from-the/)

[Mark Burgess](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-burgess/)

> [“Limiting the power of government, in order to liberate the individual, was the great American revolutionary insight. Too much cooperation, avoiding conflict from ordinary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-taylor-gatto/limiting-the-power-of-government-in-order-to-liberate-the-individual/)

[John Taylor Gatto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-taylor-gatto/)

> [“Therefore, it is key that leaders demonstrate restraint when their people engage in conflict, and allow resolution to occur naturally, as messy as it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-lencioni/therefore-it-is-key-that-leaders-demonstrate-restraint-when-their/)

[Patrick Lencioni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-lencioni/)

> [People now, especially with the Internet, are connected. They have an expectation of behaviour, of accountability, avoiding conflict and fair and just competition.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sri-mulyani-indrawati/people-now-especially-with-the-internet-are-connected-they-have-an/)

[Sri Mulyani Indrawati](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sri-mulyani-indrawati/)

> [I don't think avoiding conflict is not caring. ~Shin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ai-yazawa/i-don-t-think-avoiding-conflict-is-not-caring-shin/)

[Ai Yazawa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ai-yazawa/)

> [I spent so much time at Escuela Caribe denying my true emotions and avoiding conflict that I became unsure of what my feelings really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julia-scheeres/i-spent-so-much-time-at-escuela-caribe-denying-my-true-emotions-and/)

[Julia Scheeres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julia-scheeres/)

> [“I decided that being a peacemaker was a Christian’s role and recommitted to pacifism. But this was a new kind of pacifism for me.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristy-burmeister/i-decided-that-being-a-peacemaker-was-a-christian-s-role-and/)

[Kristy Burmeister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristy-burmeister/)

> [“Avoiding conflict isn’t peacemaking. Avoiding conflict means running away from the mess while peacemaking means running into the middle of it. Peacemaking means addressing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peggy-haymes/avoiding-conflict-isn-t-peacemaking-avoiding-conflict-means-running/)

[Peggy Haymes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peggy-haymes/)

## More by Kerry Egan

> [“Knowing yourself" or "finding yourself" can be dangerous. It can cement you into a strict role &amp; saddle you with unnecessary expectations. It can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-egan/knowing-yourself-or-finding-yourself-can-be-dangerous-it-can-cement/)

[Kerry Egan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-egan/)

> [“Perhaps the death knell of love is not anger or even indifference; it’s losing the desire to know more about your partner.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-egan/perhaps-the-death-knell-of-love-is-not-anger-or-even-indifference-it/)

[Kerry Egan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-egan/)

> [“If you want to be saved from your present suffering, you must be willing to change and be changed in the present. That change…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-egan/if-you-want-to-be-saved-from-your-present-suffering-you-must-be/)

[Kerry Egan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-egan/)

[Explore all 4 Kerry Egan quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-egan/)

## More Acknowledging quotes

> [“My mum always taught me the value of knowing, recognizing and acknowledging when you had a good day. There are so many bad days…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-hiddleston/my-mum-always-taught-me-the-value-of-knowing-recognizing-and/)

[Tom Hiddleston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-hiddleston/)

> [Washington culture has always had a difficult time acknowledging untruth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-noah/washington-culture-has-always-had-a-difficult-time-acknowledging/)

[Timothy Noah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-noah/)

> [God knows we are subtle creatures who are more than able to use candour to avoid acknowledging our deceptions of others and ourselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stanley-hauerwas/god-knows-we-are-subtle-creatures-who-are-more-than-able-to-use/)

[Stanley Hauerwas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stanley-hauerwas/)

> [How dare you ever in ya life walk past me without acknowledging their man as God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ll-cool-j/how-dare-you-ever-in-ya-life-walk-past-me-without-acknowledging-their/)

[LL Cool J](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ll-cool-j/)

> [Acknowledging the Lord's hand in our lives cultivates gratitude. . . .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ezra-taft-benson/acknowledging-the-lord-s-hand-in-our-lives-cultivates-gratitude/)

[Ezra Taft Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ezra-taft-benson/)

> [You know, I get frustrated with our country's administration, which is really the people who are not acknowledging global warming. I mean, it's accepted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-greenfield/you-know-i-get-frustrated-with-our-country-s-administration-which-is/)

[Jerry Greenfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-greenfield/)

> [Real empathy is sometimes not insisting that it will be okay but acknowledging that it is not.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheryl-sandberg/real-empathy-is-sometimes-not-insisting-that-it-will-be-okay-but/)

[Sheryl Sandberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheryl-sandberg/)

> [“You can’t fear the devil without also acknowledging God.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-adams/you-can-t-fear-the-devil-without-also-acknowledging-god/)

[Taylor Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-adams/)

> [We do an epically bad job of acknowledging one another's work and checking our sources.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/we-do-an-epically-bad-job-of-acknowledging-one-another-s-work-and/)

[John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/)

> [We are acknowledging the close personal nature of our 10 years at war and the strong bonds of fidelity that Marines have for one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-f-amos/we-are-acknowledging-the-close-personal-nature-of-our-10-years-at-war/)

[James F. Amos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-f-amos/)

> [“By acknowledging their contribution and letting them go with gratitude, you will be able to truly put the things you own, and your life,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marie-kondo/by-acknowledging-their-contribution-and-letting-them-go-with/)

[Marie Kondō](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marie-kondo/)

> [“Telling the story, acknowledging what has happened and how you feel, is often a necessary part of forgiveness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/telling-the-story-acknowledging-what-has-happened-and-how-you-feel-is/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [You had two men who knew the exact same thing, which is Russia did meddle in the elections. I think President Trump wanted to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikki-haley/you-had-two-men-who-knew-the-exact-same-thing-which-is-russia-did/)

[Nikki Haley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikki-haley/)

> [I would hope it's better, but I'm actually acknowledging now that I want to explore all these levels from a whisper to a scream…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-coverdale/i-would-hope-it-s-better-but-i-m-actually-acknowledging-now-that-i/)

[David Coverdale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-coverdale/)

> [Voter fraud happens on both sides of the aisle. And if nothing else, I'm glad Democrats are acknowledging that it exists.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kris-kobach/voter-fraud-happens-on-both-sides-of-the-aisle-and-if-nothing-else-i/)

[Kris Kobach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kris-kobach/)

[Browse all 117 Acknowledging quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/acknowledging/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“Kindness is not the same as niceness or putting our heads in the sand, or avoiding conflict. It is acknowledging that no life is as it seems on the surface. It is understanding that we never know all the layers in a life and choosing to speak and act from that difficult gray place in all of us.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Kerry Egan"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-egan/kindness-is-not-the-same-as-niceness-or-putting-our-heads-in-the-sand/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Acknowledging"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-egan/kindness-is-not-the-same-as-niceness-or-putting-our-heads-in-the-sand/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/54f/kerry-egan-67701_kindness_kindness-is-not-the-same-as-niceness-or_1333916.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/54f/kerry-egan-67701_kindness_kindness-is-not-the-same-as-niceness-or_1333916.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/54f/kerry-egan-67701_kindness_kindness-is-not-the-same-as-niceness-or_1333916.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Kindness is not the same as niceness or putting our heads in the sand, or avoiding conflict. It is…” — Kerry Egan",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Kerry Egan",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-egan/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“Kindness is not the same as...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-egan/kindness-is-not-the-same-as-niceness-or-putting-our-heads-in-the-sand/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-egan/kindness-is-not-the-same-as-niceness-or-putting-our-heads-in-the-sand/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
