--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Composure and self-restraint were not…" description: "\"“Composure and self-restraint were not only desirable characteristics in a woman, they were essental. As my mother put it later, it was bad enough havi..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7d8/kay-redfield-jamison-1826_gender-roles_composure-and-self-restraint-were-not-on_2192699.jpg" --- # Composure and self-restraint were not only desirable… ![“Composure and self-restraint were not only desirable characteristics in a woman, they were essental. As my mother put it later, it was bad enough having to worry yourself sick every time your husband went up in an airplane; now, she was being told, she was also supposed to feel responsible if his…” quote by Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7d8/kay-redfield-jamison-1826_gender-roles_composure-and-self-restraint-were-not-on_2192699.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7d8/kay-redfield-jamison-1826_gender-roles_composure-and-self-restraint-were-not-on_2192699.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7d8/kay-redfield-jamison-1826_gender-roles_composure-and-self-restraint-were-not-on_2192699.jpg) > ““Composure and self-restraint were not only desirable characteristics in a woman, they were essental. As my mother put it later, it was bad enough having to worry yourself sick every time your husband went up in an airplane; now, she was being told, she was also supposed to feel responsible if his plane crashed. Anger and discontent, lest they kill, were to be kept to oneself. The military, even more so than the rest of society, clearly put a premium on well-behaved, genteel, and even-tempered women.”” [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Societal expectations pressure women, especially in the military, to suppress emotions and maintain composure, linking personal anxiety to responsibility for others' safety. **In simple terms:** Women are expected to stay calm and not show anger, even when worried about loved ones. Key Takeaway Recognize and challenge unfair emotional expectations. Themes gender roles military culture emotional suppression Mood anxious reflective Type sociological psychological When to use this quote - marriage - military families - mental health - personal boundaries Key Concepts social pressure psychological burden gender expectations Questions to Reflect On - How do these expectations affect women's wellbeing? - What can be done to support emotional honesty? A Different Perspective Such expectations can harm mental health and limit authentic expression. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Characteristics Woman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/characteristics-woman-4782357/) [Composure](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/composure/) [Composure Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/composure-self-4782358/) [Feminism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feminism/) [Gender roles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gender-roles/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Military](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/military/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Plane crash](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/plane-crash/) [Restraint Desirable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/restraint-desirable-4261476/) [Self restraint](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-restraint/) [Serenity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/serenity/) ## Related quotes > [Birth-control through self-restraint is the most desirable, sensible and totally harmless method.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahatma-gandhi/birth-control-through-self-restraint-is-the-most-desirable-sensible/) [Mahatma Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahatma-gandhi/) > [Most Of The Characteristics We Think We Guys Want In A Wife Aren't The Ones That Make For A Good Lifelong Relationship. 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I dont want to die in my sleep, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-morrison/i-wouldnt-mind-dying-in-a-plane-crash-itd-be-a-good-way-to-go-i-dont/) [Jim Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-morrison/) > [“The introduction was meant to be all important and elegant and meaningful and “This summer marks the voyage of discovery of Livia Stowe,” and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-le-vann/the-introduction-was-meant-to-be-all-important-and-elegant-and/) [Kate le Vann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-le-vann/) > [“Oklahoma City’s Will Rogers World Airport was one of only three very special airports named for men who died in a plane crash.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-bernhardt/oklahoma-city-s-will-rogers-world-airport-was-one-of-only-three-very/) [William Bernhardt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-bernhardt/) > [ By sort of combining the research of a lot of smart people, I came up with an equation for dread \[dread=uncontrollability+unfamiliarity+imaginability+suffering+scale of destruction+unfairness\]. 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It's pretty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dallas-campbell/statistically-2012-was-the-safest-year-to-travel-on-a-plane-in-the/) [Dallas Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dallas-campbell/) > [“Still, national politics meant little to him: about as much as paper airplanes would mean to the survivor of a plane crash.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/still-national-politics-meant-little-to-him-about-as-much-as-paper/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [Breaking News! Breaking News!!Breaking News!!! There's another plane crash and nobody survived. The plane was carrying all your Problems, Shame, disappointment, discouragement, Sorrows, Failure,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/newlove/breaking-news-breaking-news-breaking-news-there-s-another-plane-crash/) [Newlove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/newlove/) > [I'd rather grind slow because when it land in my lap and when I get it, it's going to last longer than just shooting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/moneybagg-yo/i-d-rather-grind-slow-because-when-it-land-in-my-lap-and-when-i-get/) [Moneybagg Yo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/moneybagg-yo/) > [I do not use airplanes. They strike me as unsporting. You can have an automobile accident-and survive. You can be on a sinking ship-and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isaac-asimov/i-do-not-use-airplanes-they-strike-me-as-unsporting-you-can-have-an/) [Isaac Asimov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isaac-asimov/) ## More by Kay Redfield Jamison > [ “...even though \[my psychiatrist\] understood mor than anyone how much I felt I was losing--in energy, vivacity, and originality--by taking medication, he never was… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/even-though-my-psychiatrist-understood-mor-than-anyone-how-much-i/) [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) > [When people are suicidal, their thinking is paralyzed, their options appear spare or nonexistent, their mood is despairing, and hopelessness permeates their entire mental…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/when-people-are-suicidal-their-thinking-is-paralyzed-their-options/) [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) > [It's more common than not that bipolar illness will start in the teens. 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It quickly came down to a choice between seeing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/i-decided-early-in-graduate-school-that-i-needed-to-do-something/) [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) > [When I'm talking about depression, I'm talking about the more severe forms of depression, and I think that conceptualising as a form of grief…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/when-i-m-talking-about-depression-i-m-talking-about-the-more-severe/) [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) > [An ardent temperament makes one very vulnerable to dreamkillers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/an-ardent-temperament-makes-one-very-vulnerable-to-dreamkillers/) [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) > [the intensity, glory, and absolute assuredness if my mind's flight made it very difficult for me to believe once i was better, that the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/the-intensity-glory-and-absolute-assuredness-if-my-mind-s-flight-made/) [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) > [I wish I could explain it so someone could understand it. I'm afraid it's something I can't put into words. There's just this heavy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/i-wish-i-could-explain-it-so-someone-could-understand-it-i-m-afraid/) [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) > [Moods are such an essential part of the substance of life, of one's notion of oneself, that even psychotic extremes in mood and behavior…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/moods-are-such-an-essential-part-of-the-substance-of-life-of-one-s/) [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) > [We expect well-informed treatment for cancer or heart disease; it matters no less for depression.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/we-expect-well-informed-treatment-for-cancer-or-heart-disease-it/) [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) > [Manic depression distorts moods and thoughts, incites dreadful behaviors, destroys the basis of rational thought, and too often erodes the desire and will to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/manic-depression-distorts-moods-and-thoughts-incites-dreadful/) [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) > [People talk about grief as if it's kind of an unremittingly awful thing, and it is. It is painful, but it's a very, very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/people-talk-about-grief-as-if-it-s-kind-of-an-unremittingly-awful/) [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) [Explore all 205 Kay Redfield Jamison quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) ## More Composure quotes > [Writing that flirts with incoherence can just as readily flounder as writing characterized by simplicity and composure. 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But just try to scream and tear around…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lidiya-ginzburg/you-must-be-practically-a-hero-to-retain-your-composure-in-the-midst/) [Lidiya Ginzburg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lidiya-ginzburg/) [Browse all 139 Composure quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/composure/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Composure and self-restraint were not only desirable characteristics in a woman, they were essental. As my mother put it later, it was bad enough having to worry yourself sick every time your husband went up in an airplane; now, she was being told, she was also supposed to feel responsible if his plane crashed. Anger and discontent, lest they kill, were to be kept to oneself. 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