--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: if I've learned anything through all…" description: "\"“if I've learned anything through all this, it's that you can't build walls around the people you care about. You can't do it to keep them near or to k..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdb/kay-hooper-14560_quote_if-i-ve-learned-anything-through-all-thi_1331187.jpg" --- # if I've learned anything through all this, it's that you… ![“if I've learned anything through all this, it's that you can't build walls around the people you care about. You can't do it to keep them near or to keep them safe. Even if they could stand the prison, that kind of control is still an illusion. To fate, the walls are made of air” quote by Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdb/kay-hooper-14560_quote_if-i-ve-learned-anything-through-all-thi_1331187.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdb/kay-hooper-14560_quote_if-i-ve-learned-anything-through-all-thi_1331187.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdb/kay-hooper-14560_quote_if-i-ve-learned-anything-through-all-thi_1331187.jpg) > ““if I've learned anything through all this, it's that you can't build walls around the people you care about. You can't do it to keep them near or to keep them safe. Even if they could stand the prison, that kind of control is still an illusion. To fate, the walls are made of air”” [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Attempting to control loved ones creates false security; true connection requires freedom. **In simple terms:** Control creates illusion; freedom builds trust. Key Takeaway Release control, trust love. Themes relationships control freedom Mood reflective somber Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - family dynamics - friendships - leadership - parenting Key Concepts psychology trust illusion Questions to Reflect On - How does control affect trust? - What freedoms nurture love? A Different Perspective Control may be perceived as protective, but it often harms. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Build Walls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/build-walls/) [Fate Walls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fate-walls-4467292/) [Prison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/prison/) [Stand Prison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stand-prison-4467291/) [Walls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/walls/) [Walls People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/walls-people-286287/) ## Related quotes > [Isn't it strange that ... people build walls to keep an enemy out, and there's only one part of the world and one philosophy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ronald-reagan/isn-t-it-strange-that-people-build-walls-to-keep-an-enemy-out-and/) [Ronald Reagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ronald-reagan/) > [The saddest part of life is the fact that people build walls up between them and the people they love. It takes a great…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-saddest-part-of-life-is-the-fact-that-people-build-walls-up/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [In the 20th century, we built a lot of walls - we endlessly tried to build walls between us and people we perceived, correctly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-g-stavridis/in-the-20th-century-we-built-a-lot-of-walls-we-endlessly-tried-to/) [James G. Stavridis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-g-stavridis/) > [I don't build up my walls to keep people out, I put them there to see who cares enough about me and will climb…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-don-t-build-up-my-walls-to-keep-people-out-i-put-them-there-to-see/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Here in America, we don't give in to our fears. We don't build up walls to keep people out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-obama/here-in-america-we-don-t-give-in-to-our-fears-we-don-t-build-up-walls/) [Michelle Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-obama/) > [We're not in the business of putting up barriers; that's the job of politicians. They're the idiots who want to build walls between people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danny-carey/we-re-not-in-the-business-of-putting-up-barriers-that-s-the-job-of/) [Danny Carey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danny-carey/) > [“Walls in people's heads are sometimes more durable than walls made of concrete blocks.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/willy-brandt/walls-in-people-s-heads-are-sometimes-more-durable-than-walls-made-of/) [Willy Brandt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/willy-brandt/) > [Occasionally some brave adventurers would climb over the wall, never to be seen again. Inside the walls, people wondered if their friends never came…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kemmy-nola-http-wwwamoreloveforlifecom/occasionally-some-brave-adventurers-would-climb-over-the-wall-never/) [Kemmy Nola Http://wwwamoreloveforlifecom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kemmy-nola-http-wwwamoreloveforlifecom/) > [Some people put walls up, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/socrates/some-people-put-walls-up-not-to-keep-people-out-but-to-see-who-cares/) [Socrates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/socrates/) > [Sometimes people put up walls not to keep people out... But to see who cares enough tear them down.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-morgan/sometimes-people-put-up-walls-not-to-keep-people-out-but-to-see-who/) [Harriet Morgan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-morgan/) > [Sometimes we put up walls, not to keep people out, but to see who actually cares enough to break them down.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-cole/sometimes-we-put-up-walls-not-to-keep-people-out-but-to-see-who/) [Cheryl Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-cole/) > [Walls are for people that cannot defend themselves. (Weak). If I tell you that I have a wall that doesn't mean I won't never…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aleab/walls-are-for-people-that-cannot-defend-themselves-weak-if-i-tell-you/) [AleAb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aleab/) > [People put walls up, not to keep people out, but to see who loves them enough to break them!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/people-put-walls-up-not-to-keep-people-out-but-to-see-who-loves-them/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [No good ever comes from putting up walls. What people mistake for safety is in fact captivity. And few things thrive in captivity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-penny/no-good-ever-comes-from-putting-up-walls-what-people-mistake-for/) [Louise Penny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-penny/) > [We all build up walls, not to keep others out but to see who cares for you enough that will break down those walls,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roopa/we-all-build-up-walls-not-to-keep-others-out-but-to-see-who-cares-for/) [Roopa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roopa/) ## More by Kay Hooper > [“Yes, I also came home to settle my father's estate." "Would you have come home if it hadn't also been your job?" "I think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-hooper/yes-i-also-came-home-to-settle-my-father-s-estate-would-you-have-come/) [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) > [“Jesus. Chicago, Kansas City, Denver, Phoenix, L.A., and Seattle, plus two small towns she'd never heard of in the Gulf Coast region. The unit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-hooper/jesus-chicago-kansas-city-denver-phoenix-l-a-and-seattle-plus-two/) [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) > [“What about free will? . . . There's that too. I never understood why people think they're mutually exclusive. Ask me, our entire lives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-hooper/what-about-free-will-there-s-that-too-i-never-understood-why-people/) [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) > [“He remembered those tense moments on the cliff face and kept a grin off his own face with an effort. How many women, he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-hooper/he-remembered-those-tense-moments-on-the-cliff-face-and-kept-a-grin/) [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) > [But in real life, happily-ever-after is just the beginning. It's where life starts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-hooper/but-in-real-life-happily-ever-after-is-just-the-beginning-it-s-where/) [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) > [“But the restlessness Quentin had been conscious of last night had shifted abruptly into a deep, cold sense of foreboding this morning when Diana…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-hooper/but-the-restlessness-quentin-had-been-conscious-of-last-night-had/) [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) > [“he'd thought of fate as something hostile, a thief moving soundlessly in the night”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-hooper/he-d-thought-of-fate-as-something-hostile-a-thief-moving-soundlessly/) [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) > [“She was one in a million, Tyler was. A strong, intelligent woman with the beauty to launch ships and the courage to follow them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-hooper/she-was-one-in-a-million-tyler-was-a-strong-intelligent-woman-with/) [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) > [“I don't want us to be together because either of us is afraid. We have to be whole before we can share what we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-hooper/i-don-t-want-us-to-be-together-because-either-of-us-is-afraid-we-have/) [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) > [“And here she was, in the middle of a tangled situation she didn't remember or understand, painfully aware that a killer or killers on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-hooper/and-here-she-was-in-the-middle-of-a-tangled-situation-she-didn-t/) [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) > [“Where's my clairvoyance when I need it? Hell, where are any of my senses?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-hooper/where-s-my-clairvoyance-when-i-need-it-hell-where-are-any-of-my-senses/) [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) > [“Samantha said, "I should be at the carnival. I have things to do." "Sam, do we have to keep arguing about this?" He handed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-hooper/samantha-said-i-should-be-at-the-carnival-i-have-things-to-do-sam-do/) [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) > [Sometimes reality is better than dreams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-hooper/sometimes-reality-is-better-than-dreams/) [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) > [“Quentin found it hard not to blame her doctors, and especially her father, for not being open-minded enough to at least consider the possibility…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-hooper/quentin-found-it-hard-not-to-blame-her-doctors-and-especially-her/) [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) > [Maybe that's what is means to be human . . . forever questioning our certainties.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-hooper/maybe-that-s-what-is-means-to-be-human-forever-questioning-our/) [Kay Hooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) [Explore all 46 Kay Hooper quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-hooper/) ## More Prison quotes > [Humanitarian goods and people must flow in both directions. Gaza cannot and must not be allowed to remain a prison camp.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-cameron/humanitarian-goods-and-people-must-flow-in-both-directions-gaza/) [David Cameron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-cameron/) > [I hope that the Palestinians don't make the mistake of unleashing a new intifada. They've tried it twice before, and the consequences were bad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-segev/i-hope-that-the-palestinians-don-t-make-the-mistake-of-unleashing-a/) [Tom Segev](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-segev/) > [I hadn't worked for a year when I had my Prison Break audition and it was the easiest audition I've ever had. I got…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wentworth-miller/i-hadn-t-worked-for-a-year-when-i-had-my-prison-break-audition-and-it/) [Wentworth Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wentworth-miller/) > [Prison experience puts distance between me and any person who hasn't been there, done that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-mcconnell/prison-experience-puts-distance-between-me-and-any-person-who-hasn-t/) [Patricia McConnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-mcconnell/) > [This mind is a prison. It cannot find any freedom anywhere. It must die before freedom comes to you. But we have taken the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rajneesh/this-mind-is-a-prison-it-cannot-find-any-freedom-anywhere-it-must-die/) [Rajneesh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rajneesh/) > [“The sole reason I stand to open it up now is that lots of people who are in pain just like I was, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-dsouza/the-sole-reason-i-stand-to-open-it-up-now-is-that-lots-of-people-who/) [Patricia Dsouza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-dsouza/) > [The federal prison population increased by almost 800 percent between 1980 and 2013, often at a far faster rate than the Bureau of Prisons…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sally-yates/the-federal-prison-population-increased-by-almost-800-percent-between/) [Sally Yates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sally-yates/) > [The dark ages still reign over all humanity, and the depth and persistence of this domination are only now becoming clear. This Dark Ages…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-buckminster-fuller/the-dark-ages-still-reign-over-all-humanity-and-the-depth-and/) [R. Buckminster Fuller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-buckminster-fuller/) > [“...you are strong only as long as you don't deprive people of everything . For a person you've taken everything from is no longer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aleksandr-solzhenitsyn/you-are-strong-only-as-long-as-you-don-t-deprive-people-of-everything/) [Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aleksandr-solzhenitsyn/) > [We are all potentially such sick men. The sanest and best of us are of one clay with lunatics and prison-inmates. And whenever we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-james/we-are-all-potentially-such-sick-men-the-sanest-and-best-of-us-are-of/) [William James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-james/) > [Identity is not negotiable. An identity you have achieved by agreement is always a prison.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-john-harrison/identity-is-not-negotiable-an-identity-you-have-achieved-by-agreement/) [M. John Harrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-john-harrison/) > [“Inside its crumbling walls the house is riddled with bullet holes, and in its garden only the crimson dahlias still hold their heads high.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shan-sa/inside-its-crumbling-walls-the-house-is-riddled-with-bullet-holes-and/) [Shan Sa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shan-sa/) > [I find very reasonable the Celtic belief that the souls of our dearly departed are trapped in some inferior being, in an animal, aplant,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/i-find-very-reasonable-the-celtic-belief-that-the-souls-of-our-dearly/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [I went down to the prison in Menard, thinking we were the vanguard, but down there, I got down on my knees and listened…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fred-hampton/i-went-down-to-the-prison-in-menard-thinking-we-were-the-vanguard-but/) [Fred Hampton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fred-hampton/) > [I just remember that disturbing feeling of walking into that prison, the complete loss of privacy, the complete loss of stimulation, dignity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cybill-shepherd/i-just-remember-that-disturbing-feeling-of-walking-into-that-prison/) [Cybill Shepherd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cybill-shepherd/) [Browse all 3,690 Prison quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/prison/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“if I've learned anything through all this, it's that you can't build walls around the people you care about. 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