--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: People who have never been through any…" description: "\"“People who have never been through any sort of shit always assume that they know how you should react to having your life destroyed. And the people wh..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/912/katja-millay-1409_hell_people-who-have-never-been-through-any-s_357848.jpg" --- # People who have never been through any sort of shit always… ![“People who have never been through any sort of shit always assume that they know how you should react to having your life destroyed. And the people who have been through shit think you're supposed to deal with it the exact same way they did. As if there's a playbook for surviving hell.” quote by Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/912/katja-millay-1409_hell_people-who-have-never-been-through-any-s_357848.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/912/katja-millay-1409_hell_people-who-have-never-been-through-any-s_357848.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/912/katja-millay-1409_hell_people-who-have-never-been-through-any-s_357848.jpg) > ““People who have never been through any sort of shit always assume that they know how you should react to having your life destroyed. And the people who have been through shit think you're supposed to deal with it the exact same way they did. As if there's a playbook for surviving hell.”” [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote points out that those who haven’t suffered cannot truly understand how to cope, and survivors often assume others should follow their coping methods, ignoring individual differences. **In simple terms:** Survivors’ advice isn’t one‑size‑fits‑all; each person’s pain is unique. Key Takeaway Avoid imposing a single coping model on others. Themes suffering empathy individuality Mood empathetic thoughtful Type advice reflective When to use this quote - counseling - support groups - personal healing Key Concepts psychology resilience social expectation Questions to Reflect On - What coping strategies have you found uniquely yours? - How can we support others without imposing our own methods? A Different Perspective Assuming a universal “playbook” can invalidate personal experiences. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Hell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hell/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Life Destroyed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life-destroyed-242764/) [Life experiences](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life-experiences/) [Problems](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/problems/) [Shit Assume](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shit-assume-3291615/) [Shit Think](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shit-think-949073/) [Surviving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/surviving/) [Surviving Hell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/surviving-hell-3291614/) ## Related quotes > [We don't give a shit what you think about us!!!!!! get a life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pixietopia/we-don-t-give-a-shit-what-you-think-about-us-get-a-life/) [Pixietopia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pixietopia/) > [We don't give a shit what u think about us!!! get a life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pixietopia/we-don-t-give-a-shit-what-u-think-about-us-get-a-life/) [Pixietopia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pixietopia/) > [“Actually, 'worthless piece of shit' if you think about it, suggests the possibility of the opposite.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-sweet/actually-worthless-piece-of-shit-if-you-think-about-it-suggests-the/) [Jeffrey Sweet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-sweet/) > [“Is that dog shit on the bottom of your shoe?’ I sat up a fraction. ‘What?’ ‘Is that dog shit on the bottom of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/is-that-dog-shit-on-the-bottom-of-your-shoe-i-sat-up-a-fraction-what/) [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) > [Everyday I sit back and think.. why the hell am I still taking all of this shit from everyone?! I think I need to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megannn/everyday-i-sit-back-and-think-why-the-hell-am-i-still-taking-all-of/) [Megannn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megannn/) > [I Neva really gave a shit before but now it's all I think bout.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gangsta/i-neva-really-gave-a-shit-before-but-now-it-s-all-i-think-bout/) [Gangsta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gangsta/) > [“I stood back up and looked down at my feces. A lovely snail-shell architecture, still steaming. Borromini. My bowels must be in good shape,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/umberto-eco/i-stood-back-up-and-looked-down-at-my-feces-a-lovely-snail-shell/) [Umberto Eco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/umberto-eco/) > [“Listen, girl, I came to tell you that life is stupid. It just pulls the same shit over and over. Sometimes you think you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherynne-m-valente/listen-girl-i-came-to-tell-you-that-life-is-stupid-it-just-pulls-the/) [Catherynne M. Valente](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherynne-m-valente/) > [“On my seventh birthday party: No, you can't have a bouncy house at your birthday party...What do you mean, why? Have you ever thought…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-halpern/on-my-seventh-birthday-party-no-you-can-t-have-a-bouncy-house-at-your/) [Justin Halpern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-halpern/) > [Without a measureless and perpetual uncertainty, the drama of human life would be destroyed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winston-churchill/without-a-measureless-and-perpetual-uncertainty-the-drama-of-human/) [Winston Churchill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winston-churchill/) > [“Dr Leila Gupta found that most children had witnessed extreme violence and did not expect to survive. Two-thirds of the children interviewed had seen…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ahmed-rashid/dr-leila-gupta-found-that-most-children-had-witnessed-extreme/) [Ahmed Rashid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ahmed-rashid/) > [“Animal life has been all but destroyed in sudden, planetwide exterminations five times in Earth's history.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-brannen/animal-life-has-been-all-but-destroyed-in-sudden-planetwide/) [Peter Brannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-brannen/) > [Kathy Shelton was a private citizen whose life was destroyed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kellyanne-conway/kathy-shelton-was-a-private-citizen-whose-life-was-destroyed/) [Kellyanne Conway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kellyanne-conway/) > [Everything established, settled, everything to do with home and order and the common ground, has crumbled into dust and has been swept away in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/boris-pasternak/everything-established-settled-everything-to-do-with-home-and-order/) [Boris Pasternak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/boris-pasternak/) > [When you cling, life is destroyed; when you hold on to anything, you cease to live.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/when-you-cling-life-is-destroyed-when-you-hold-on-to-anything-you/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) ## More by Katja Millay > [“So, you actually cooked tonight?" He regards me skeptically. I snort. Because snorting is attractive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/so-you-actually-cooked-tonight-he-regards-me-skeptically-i-snort/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [“I doubt taking in a sullen, bitter, teenage girl with more issues than National Geographic is at the center of the vision board for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/i-doubt-taking-in-a-sullen-bitter-teenage-girl-with-more-issues-than/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [“She's grateful for what she was born with. She should be. It's an awesome face, a perfect face, an ethereal face. The kind people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/she-s-grateful-for-what-she-was-born-with-she-should-be-it-s-an/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [“You know I meant it. I am human. And male. And not remotely blind. Do you want me to say it again? You are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/you-know-i-meant-it-i-am-human-and-male-and-not-remotely-blind-do-you/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [“I don't know how to say it - after all this time, I'm not even sure that I can - but I have to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/i-don-t-know-how-to-say-it-after-all-this-time-i-m-not-even-sure-that/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [“Every normal family is one tragedy away from complete implosion.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/every-normal-family-is-one-tragedy-away-from-complete-implosion/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [“...but she's my tangent girl and I'll follow her if this is where she wants to go.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/but-she-s-my-tangent-girl-and-i-ll-follow-her-if-this-is-where-she/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [“What’d you wish?” “I can’t tell you that!” I say indignantly. “Why not?” “Because it won’t come true.” Do I really need to say…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/what-d-you-wish-i-can-t-tell-you-that-i-say-indignantly-why-not/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [“Girls always want to change the rules in the middle of the game.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/girls-always-want-to-change-the-rules-in-the-middle-of-the-game/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [“I decline the coffee. I don't drink it, because no matter how much sugar I put into it, it still tastes like ass-water to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/i-decline-the-coffee-i-don-t-drink-it-because-no-matter-how-much/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [“I am pressed so hard against the earth by the weight of reality that some days I wonder how I am still able to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/i-am-pressed-so-hard-against-the-earth-by-the-weight-of-reality-that/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [“The world should be full of Josh Bennetts. But it’s not. I had the only one. And I threw him away.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/the-world-should-be-full-of-josh-bennetts-but-it-s-not-i-had-the-only/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [“I’m going to walk over to you,” I say, taking one step at a time in her direction like I’m talking down a jumper.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/i-m-going-to-walk-over-to-you-i-say-taking-one-step-at-a-time-in-her/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [“I’m not trying to capture one face. I’m trying to capture all the faces.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/i-m-not-trying-to-capture-one-face-i-m-trying-to-capture-all-the-faces/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) > [“I'm tired of being responsible for other people's misery. I can't even put up with my own.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katja-millay/i-m-tired-of-being-responsible-for-other-people-s-misery-i-can-t-even/) [Katja Millay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) [Explore all 221 Katja Millay quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katja-millay/) ## More Hell quotes > [Most of us are convinced that we are our egos, which is who we think we are. The ego is part of our incarnation.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ram-dass/most-of-us-are-convinced-that-we-are-our-egos-which-is-who-we-think/) [Ram Dass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ram-dass/) > [Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dane-cook/some-people-give-you-that-motivation-to-work-harder-simply-to-get-the/) [Dane Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dane-cook/) > [“God hates Hell. He hates the idea of people going there. He hates it so much that He was willing to take on human…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-minton/god-hates-hell-he-hates-the-idea-of-people-going-there-he-hates-it-so/) [Evan Minton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-minton/) > [“Hell is only loneliness, a place without play for the soul, a place without God. How could there be God in loneliness when God…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hilary-thayer-hamann/hell-is-only-loneliness-a-place-without-play-for-the-soul-a-place/) [Hilary Thayer Hamann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hilary-thayer-hamann/) > [Just when I thought that I was gtting better, boy was I wrong.. Things just turned to hell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cupecake/just-when-i-thought-that-i-was-gtting-better-boy-was-i-wrong-things/) [Cupecake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cupecake/) > [I believe that on any trip to heaven, there are always detours through hell.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-finney/i-believe-that-on-any-trip-to-heaven-there-are-always-detours-through/) [Richard Finney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-finney/) > [Every saved person this side of heaven owes the gospel to every lost person this side of hell.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-platt/every-saved-person-this-side-of-heaven-owes-the-gospel-to-every-lost/) [David Platt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-platt/) > [I'm what is known as gradually disintegrating. I don't fear the next world, or anything. I don't fear hell, and I don't look forward…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katharine-hepburn/i-m-what-is-known-as-gradually-disintegrating-i-don-t-fear-the-next/) [Katharine Hepburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katharine-hepburn/) > [Hey...Hey...What's up?. Nothing much, you? Nothing. K!..What the hell was the point of this communication?...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/hey-hey-what-s-up-nothing-much-you-nothing-k-what-the-hell-was-the/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [ Except in these latter-day songs, \[Bob\] Dylan is a grizzled old prophet who's already been to hell and back. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-michaelson/except-in-these-latter-day-songs-bob-dylan-is-a-grizzled-old-prophet/) [Jay Michaelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-michaelson/) > [...it was a huge creature, luminous, ghastly, and spectral. I have cross-examined these men, one of them a hard-headed countryman, one a farrier, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/it-was-a-huge-creature-luminous-ghastly-and-spectral-i-have-cross/) [Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/) > [“ALAS, IF ALL HUMANS WERE WISE AND HAD MORE GOOD WILL THE WORLD WOULD BE A PARADISE NOW IT IS MOSTLY A HELL”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/alas-if-all-humans-were-wise-and-had-more-good-will-the-world-would/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [There's little in taking or giving, There's little in water or wine: This living, this living, this living, Was never a project of mine.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-parker/there-s-little-in-taking-or-giving-there-s-little-in-water-or-wine/) [Dorothy Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-parker/) > [It is through suppression that hells are formed in us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-glaspell/it-is-through-suppression-that-hells-are-formed-in-us/) [Susan Glaspell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-glaspell/) > [Beware of self-indulgence. The romance surrounding the writing profession carries several myths: that one must suffer in order to be creative; that one must…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-brin/beware-of-self-indulgence-the-romance-surrounding-the-writing/) [David Brin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-brin/) [Browse all 8,212 Hell quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hell/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“People who have never been through any sort of shit always assume that they know how you should react to having your life destroyed. And the people who have been through shit think you're supposed to deal with it the exact same way they did. 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