--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The first time I was ever called ugly, I…" description: "\"“The first time I was ever called ugly, I was thirteen. It was a rich friend of my brother Carlton's over to shoot guns in the field. 'Why you crying, ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4b/kathryn-stockett-1284_ask-yourself_the-first-time-i-was-ever-called-ugly-i_442505.png" --- # The first time I was ever called ugly, I was thirteen. It… ![“The first time I was ever called ugly, I was thirteen. It was a rich friend of my brother Carlton's over to shoot guns in the field. 'Why you crying, girl?' Constantine asked me in the kitchen. I told her what the boy had called me, tears streaming down my face. 'Well? Is you?' I blinked, paused…” quote by Kathryn Stockett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4b/kathryn-stockett-1284_ask-yourself_the-first-time-i-was-ever-called-ugly-i_442505.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4b/kathryn-stockett-1284_ask-yourself_the-first-time-i-was-ever-called-ugly-i_442505.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4b/kathryn-stockett-1284_ask-yourself_the-first-time-i-was-ever-called-ugly-i_442505.png) > ““The first time I was ever called ugly, I was thirteen. It was a rich friend of my brother Carlton's over to shoot guns in the field. 'Why you crying, girl?' Constantine asked me in the kitchen. I told her what the boy had called me, tears streaming down my face. 'Well? Is you?' I blinked, paused my crying. 'Is I what?' 'Now you look a here, Egenia'-because constantien was the only one who'd occasionally follow Mama's rule. 'Ugly live up on the inside. Ugly be a hurtful, mean person. Is you one a them peoples?' 'I don't know. I don't think so,' I sobbed. Constantine sat down next to me, at the kitchen table. I heard the cracking of her swollen joints. She pressed her thumb hard in the palm of my hand, somthing we both knew meant Listen. Listen to me. 'Ever morning, until you dead in the ground, you gone have to make this decision.' Constantine was so close, I could see the blackness of her gums. 'You gone have to ask yourself, Am I gone believe what them fools say about me today?' She kept her thumb pressed hard in my hand. I nodded that I understood. I was just smart enough to realize she meant white people. And even though I still felt miserable, and knew that I was, most likely, ugly, it was the first time she ever talked to me like I was something besides my mother's white child. All my life I'd been told what to believe about politics, coloreds, being a girl. But with Constantine's thumb pressed in my hand, I realized I actually had a choice in what I could believe.”” [Kathryn Stockett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathryn-stockett/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A young girl learns that self‑worth isn’t defined by others’ cruelty, and she can choose her own narrative. **In simple terms:** Self‑worth isn’t given by others. Key Takeaway Choose your own belief. Themes identity self‑esteem resilience race gender Mood empathetic determined Type narrative inspirational When to use this quote - School counseling - peer support groups - family discussions - personal journaling - creative storytelling Key Concepts Psychology social conditioning empowerment Questions to Reflect On - What internal beliefs empower you? - How can you support others facing similar hurt? A Different Perspective May simplify complex systemic oppression. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Choices](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choices/) [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) [Mean person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mean-person/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [White people](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/white-people/) ## Related quotes > [“Constantine sat down next to me, at the kitchen table, I heard the cracking of her swollen joints. She pressed her thumb hard in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathryn-stockett/constantine-sat-down-next-to-me-at-the-kitchen-table-i-heard-the/) [Kathryn Stockett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathryn-stockett/) > [“She did not move, except now and then to put up her hand and dry the moisture which collected slowly under her eyelids. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-oliphant/she-did-not-move-except-now-and-then-to-put-up-her-hand-and-dry-the/) [Margaret Oliphant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-oliphant/) > [Ugly live up on the inside. Ugly be a hurtful, mean person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathryn-stockett/ugly-live-up-on-the-inside-ugly-be-a-hurtful-mean-person/) [Kathryn Stockett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathryn-stockett/) > [“Ugly live upon the inside. 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I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-phillippe/it-s-nice-that-people-want-to-compliment-you-in-some-superficial-way/) [Ryan Phillippe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryan-phillippe/) > [I am not beautiful. My mother once called me an ugly duckling. But,listed separately, I have a few good features.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-hepburn/i-am-not-beautiful-my-mother-once-called-me-an-ugly-duckling-but/) [Audrey Hepburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-hepburn/) > [My mother always called me an ugly weed, so I never was aware of anything until I was older. Plain girls should have someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hedy-lamarr/my-mother-always-called-me-an-ugly-weed-so-i-never-was-aware-of/) [Hedy Lamarr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hedy-lamarr/) > [I'm tired of being called ugly from all these people who think they are so perfect. Newsflash, your not! 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Is you?' I blinked, paused my crying. 'Is I what?' 'Now you look a here, Egenia'-because constantien was the only one who'd occasionally follow Mama's rule. 'Ugly live up on the inside. Ugly be a hurtful, mean person. Is you one a them peoples?' 'I don't know. I don't think so,' I sobbed. Constantine sat down next to me, at the kitchen table. I heard the cracking of her swollen joints. She pressed her thumb hard in the palm of my hand, somthing we both knew meant Listen. Listen to me. 'Ever morning, until you dead in the ground, you gone have to make this decision.' Constantine was so close, I could see the blackness of her gums. 'You gone have to ask yourself, Am I gone believe what them fools say about me today?' She kept her thumb pressed hard in my hand. I nodded that I understood. I was just smart enough to realize she meant white people. And even though I still felt miserable, and knew that I was, most likely, ugly, it was the first time she ever talked to me like I was something besides my mother's white child. All my life I'd been told what to believe about politics, coloreds, being a girl. 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