--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: As you become an adult, shame gets…" description: "\"As you become an adult, shame gets introduced and reintroduced constantly to you. So where something that, to a child, just is what it is - you know, y..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/911/justin-torres-26975_adults_as-you-become-an-adult-shame-gets-introd_459456.jpg" --- # As you become an adult, shame gets introduced and… ![“As you become an adult, shame gets introduced and reintroduced constantly to you. So where something that, to a child, just is what it is - you know, your father's violent but he loves you and that's just the way it is - later on you realize that this is like different, shameful, blah blah blah.” quote by Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/911/justin-torres-26975_adults_as-you-become-an-adult-shame-gets-introd_459456.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/911/justin-torres-26975_adults_as-you-become-an-adult-shame-gets-introd_459456.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/911/justin-torres-26975_adults_as-you-become-an-adult-shame-gets-introd_459456.jpg) > “As you become an adult, shame gets introduced and reintroduced constantly to you. So where something that, to a child, just is what it is - you know, your father's violent but he loves you and that's just the way it is - later on you realize that this is like different, shameful, blah blah blah.” [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Adult life reintroduces shame, reshaping how we view previously accepted behaviors, especially in family dynamics. **In simple terms:** Shame changes our perception of familiar actions as adults. Key Takeaway Question and reframe shame‑laden beliefs. Themes growth family shame self‑awareness Mood introspective critical Type philosophical motivational When to use this quote - parent‑child relationships - cultural expectations - personal development Key Concepts psychology social conditioning identity formation Questions to Reflect On - What childhood beliefs still cause shame? - How can you transform shame into growth? A Different Perspective Shame can also protect boundaries, not just limit. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Adults](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adults/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Father](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/father/) [Guilt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilt/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shame/) [Violent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/violent/) ## Related quotes > [It was my father who could do no wrong. So I didn't think of it as, oh, look, my father's a violent man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toni-morrison/it-was-my-father-who-could-do-no-wrong-so-i-didn-t-think-of-it-as-oh/) [Toni Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toni-morrison/) > [My father had a very violent temper, and he was never home. So I was kind of a mama's boy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilyn-manson/my-father-had-a-very-violent-temper-and-he-was-never-home-so-i-was/) [Marilyn Manson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilyn-manson/) > [There's so many R&B songs where guys are talking about a clingy girl, like, 'I don't want a girlfriend, and this girl's so clingy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mabel/there-s-so-many-r-b-songs-where-guys-are-talking-about-a-clingy-girl/) [Mabel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mabel/) > [I can't keep secrets about myself. I can keep secrets about other people, but if it's about myself, I'm like, 'blah blah blah blah.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/olivia-cooke/i-can-t-keep-secrets-about-myself-i-can-keep-secrets-about-other/) [Olivia Cooke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/olivia-cooke/) > [I want to entertain my audience. I know when then come and see me play, if I don't do 'Swing Town,' 'Jet Airliner,' 'Take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-miller/i-want-to-entertain-my-audience-i-know-when-then-come-and-see-me-play/) [Steve Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-miller/) > [Look, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I said no because the whole thing would just be too Dirty Dancing , right? Summer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meg-cabot/look-i-know-what-you-re-thinking-you-re-thinking-i-said-no-because/) [Meg Cabot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meg-cabot/) > [“Light our fire and protect us from the dark, blah blah, light our way and keep us toasty warm, the night is dark and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/light-our-fire-and-protect-us-from-the-dark-blah-blah-light-our-way/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Because I grew up with women, I have a certain amount of charm, and I'm all right to get on with, kind enough, funny…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-nesbitt/because-i-grew-up-with-women-i-have-a-certain-amount-of-charm-and-i-m/) [James Nesbitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-nesbitt/) > [America to me is where I grew up: in Brooklyn, around other black and Latino people who helped and loved each other. I just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jpegmafia/america-to-me-is-where-i-grew-up-in-brooklyn-around-other-black-and/) [JPEGMAFIA](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jpegmafia/) > [Labels want to capture a certain market of kids and blah blah blah, and it's true, I just never think about that stuff. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marnie-stern/labels-want-to-capture-a-certain-market-of-kids-and-blah-blah-blah/) [Marnie Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marnie-stern/) > [Happy anniversary Mom and Dad. Even through those occasional times when we didn't get along, I could still that tell your love for me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jin/happy-anniversary-mom-and-dad-even-through-those-occasional-times/) [Jin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jin/) > [We're all about girl power and everything, but we cry sometimes, and we're softies, so we can't always be like, 'Woo, girl power. We're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-jane/we-re-all-about-girl-power-and-everything-but-we-cry-sometimes-and-we/) [Dinah Jane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-jane/) > [“Yeah, okay we got it. Death and destruction await those that dare oppose you. My biceps are bigger than your biceps. Blah blah blah.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-j-anaya/yeah-okay-we-got-it-death-and-destruction-await-those-that-dare/) [C.J. Anaya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-j-anaya/) > [Films take too long. There's too much BS, too much nonsense. If I want to do a play, I just call the theater, whether…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-malkovich/films-take-too-long-there-s-too-much-bs-too-much-nonsense-if-i-want/) [John Malkovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-malkovich/) > [I'm focused on the music. I think, as long as I keep making music just because I like to make it, people are gonna…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bishop-nehru/i-m-focused-on-the-music-i-think-as-long-as-i-keep-making-music-just/) [Bishop Nehru](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bishop-nehru/) ## More by Justin Torres > [Sometimes I would be very upset because my memories are very murky from my childhood, but there are certain emotional memories or emotional truths…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/sometimes-i-would-be-very-upset-because-my-memories-are-very-murky/) [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) > [“Always more, always hungrily scratching for more. But there were times, quiet moments, when our mother was sleeping, when she hadn’t slept in two…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/always-more-always-hungrily-scratching-for-more-but-there-were-times/) [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) > [Shame doesn't exist in the animal kingdom. It's a human conception.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/shame-doesn-t-exist-in-the-animal-kingdom-it-s-a-human-conception/) [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) > [“I’m an adult,” the boy says. “I got rights.” “Everybody’s got rights. A man tied to a bed got rights. A man down in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/i-m-an-adult-the-boy-says-i-got-rights-everybody-s-got-rights-a-man/) [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) > [I don't think that any family has a function. I just think that a family is. It just exists.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/i-don-t-think-that-any-family-has-a-function-i-just-think-that-a/) [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) > [Animals don't think in terms of victims and villains, or good and bad, or evil, or shame.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/animals-don-t-think-in-terms-of-victims-and-villains-or-good-and-bad/) [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) > [“All that pent up longing,” he says, “all that desire to flail and flap around. Them wings have needs.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/all-that-pent-up-longing-he-says-all-that-desire-to-flail-and-flap/) [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) > [We hit and we kept on hitting; we were allowed to be what we were, frightened and vengeful — little animals, clawing at what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/we-hit-and-we-kept-on-hitting-we-were-allowed-to-be-what-we-were/) [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) > [“Each was radiant, gorgeous. How they posed for me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/each-was-radiant-gorgeous-how-they-posed-for-me/) [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) > [This is your heritage,' he said, as if from this dance we could know about his own childhood, about the flavor and grit of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/this-is-your-heritage-he-said-as-if-from-this-dance-we-could-know/) [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) > [“WE ALL THREE sat at the kitchen table in our raincoats, and Joel smashed tomatoes with a small rubber mallet. We had seen it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/we-all-three-sat-at-the-kitchen-table-in-our-raincoats-and-joel/) [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) > [“They weren't scared, or dispossessed, or fragile. They were possible.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/they-weren-t-scared-or-dispossessed-or-fragile-they-were-possible/) [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) > [What we gotta do is, we gotta figure out a way to reverse gravity, so that we all fall upward, through the clouds and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/what-we-gotta-do-is-we-gotta-figure-out-a-way-to-reverse-gravity-so/) [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) > [I totally bristle against words like "dysfunction" or "abuse."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/i-totally-bristle-against-words-like-dysfunction-or-abuse/) [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) > [“Hours passed. A man came by twice and poked his head into my theater and looked at me questioningly. The third time, he came…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/hours-passed-a-man-came-by-twice-and-poked-his-head-into-my-theater/) [Justin Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) [Explore all 21 Justin Torres quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/) ## More Adults quotes > [I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-lusseyran/i-am-certain-that-children-always-know-more-than-they-are-able-to/) [Jacques Lusseyran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-lusseyran/) > [Behind every successful child is an adult who believed in him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/behind-every-successful-child-is-an-adult-who-believed-in-him/) [Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/) > [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/) [Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/) > [The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/the-thing-about-hitting-kids-is-think-about-if-you-were-doing-the/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [Plainly, the environment must be a living one, directed by a higher intelligence, arranged by an adult who is prepared for his mission.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-montessori/plainly-the-environment-must-be-a-living-one-directed-by-a-higher/) [Maria Montessori](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-montessori/) > [Almost everywhere we find . . . the use of various coercive measures, to rid ourselves as quickly as possible of the child withinus--i.e.,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/almost-everywhere-we-find-the-use-of-various-coercive-measures-to-rid/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [Education, for most people, means trying to lead the child to resemble the typical adult of his society . . . but for me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-piaget/education-for-most-people-means-trying-to-lead-the-child-to-resemble/) [Jean Piaget](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-piaget/) > [I do not believe in public shaming. I do believe that young adults go to college to learn things, and that this process will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-weingarten/i-do-not-believe-in-public-shaming-i-do-believe-that-young-adults-go/) [Gene Weingarten](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-weingarten/) > [The Role of Deliberate Practice in the Acquisition of Expert Performance”: “The differences between expert performers and normal adults are not immutable, that is,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/k-anders-ericsson/the-role-of-deliberate-practice-in-the-acquisition-of-expert/) K. Anders Ericsson > [Part of life is doing stuff that you don't want to do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/one-who-does-not-wish-to-be-named/part-of-life-is-doing-stuff-that-you-don-t-want-to-do/) One Who Does Not Wish To Be Named > [ He \[an earnest young reporter\] seemed to share the view of many intelligent, well-educated, well-meaning people that, while adult literature may aim to be… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katherine-paterson/he-an-earnest-young-reporter-seemed-to-share-the-view-of-many/) [Katherine Paterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katherine-paterson/) > [Kids, if anything, are harder to write for because they are a more discerning audience. They will not stay with you if you go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-riordan/kids-if-anything-are-harder-to-write-for-because-they-are-a-more/) [Rick Riordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-riordan/) > [On the one hand, we had great filmic spectacles that brought in big audiences, adults as well as primary and secondary school students. On…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrzej-wajda/on-the-one-hand-we-had-great-filmic-spectacles-that-brought-in-big/) [Andrzej Wajda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrzej-wajda/) > [It's hard to change adults, and it's hard to change it from a political position or a perceived political position.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-obama/it-s-hard-to-change-adults-and-it-s-hard-to-change-it-from-a/) [Michelle Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-obama/) > [When I was a child at sixteen, I was just a child. All sixteen year-olds are just children. As much as we like them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-abagnale/when-i-was-a-child-at-sixteen-i-was-just-a-child-all-sixteen-year/) [Frank Abagnale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-abagnale/) [Browse all 3,113 Adults quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adults/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "As you become an adult, shame gets introduced and reintroduced constantly to you. So where something that, to a child, just is what it is - you know, your father's violent but he loves you and that's just the way it is - later on you realize that this is like different, shameful, blah blah blah.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Justin Torres" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/as-you-become-an-adult-shame-gets-introduced-and-reintroduced/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Adults" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/as-you-become-an-adult-shame-gets-introduced-and-reintroduced/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/911/justin-torres-26975_adults_as-you-become-an-adult-shame-gets-introd_459456.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/911/justin-torres-26975_adults_as-you-become-an-adult-shame-gets-introd_459456.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/911/justin-torres-26975_adults_as-you-become-an-adult-shame-gets-introd_459456.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“As you become an adult, shame gets introduced and reintroduced constantly to you. So where something that…” — Justin Torres", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Justin Torres", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justin-torres/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "As you become an adult, shame...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/as-you-become-an-adult-shame-gets-introduced-and-reintroduced/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justin-torres/as-you-become-an-adult-shame-gets-introduced-and-reintroduced/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```