--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: What kind of choice is it, really, when…" description: "\"What kind of choice is it, really, when motherhood forces you into a delicate balancing act -- not just between work and family, as the equation is typ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d47/judith-warner-28813_balancing-act_what-kind-of-choice-is-it-really-when-mo_1040377.jpg" --- # What kind of choice is it, really, when motherhood forces… ![“What kind of choice is it, really, when motherhood forces you into a delicate balancing act -- not just between work and family, as the equation is typically phrased, but between your premotherhood and postmotherhood identities? What kind of choice is it when you have to choose between becoming a…” quote by Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d47/judith-warner-28813_balancing-act_what-kind-of-choice-is-it-really-when-mo_1040377.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d47/judith-warner-28813_balancing-act_what-kind-of-choice-is-it-really-when-mo_1040377.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d47/judith-warner-28813_balancing-act_what-kind-of-choice-is-it-really-when-mo_1040377.jpg) > “What kind of choice is it, really, when motherhood forces you into a delicate balancing act -- not just between work and family, as the equation is typically phrased, but between your premotherhood and postmotherhood identities? What kind of choice is it when you have to choose between becoming a mother and remaining yourself?” [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote highlights the complex identity conflict mothers face, balancing pre‑motherhood self with new maternal role, beyond work‑family dichotomy. **In simple terms:** Mothers juggle old self and new mother role. Key Takeaway Recognize and integrate both identities. Themes identity motherhood balance self work family Mood reflective thoughtful empathetic Type philosophical personal inspirational When to use this quote - career decisions - parenting choices - personal development - relationship dynamics Key Concepts role conflict identity integration psychological tension Questions to Reflect On - How can you honor your pre‑motherhood self while embracing motherhood? - What support systems help reconcile these identities? A Different Perspective Balancing identities may feel impossible without support. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Balancing act](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/balancing-act/) [Becoming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/becoming/) [Becoming a mother](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/becoming-a-mother/) [Choice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choice/) [Choices](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choices/) [Choose Mother](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choose-mother-2428952/) [Delicate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/delicate/) [Equations](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/equations/) [Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family/) [Force](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/force/) [Identity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/identity/) [Kind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kind/) [Mother](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mother/) [Motherhood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/motherhood/) [Motherhood Forces](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/motherhood-forces-1149086/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Postmotherhood Identities](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/postmotherhood-identities-2428953/) [Really Motherhood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/really-motherhood-2428954/) [Work And Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/work-and-family/) ## Related quotes > [I’ve come to realize that being a mother makes me a better executive, because motherhood forces prioritization. Being a mom gives you so much…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marissa-mayer/i-ve-come-to-realize-that-being-a-mother-makes-me-a-better-executive/) [Marissa Mayer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marissa-mayer/) > [“But I do not know how to act like a mother.” “Oh, it’s nothing, you just have to provide the gosling with food and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-brown/but-i-do-not-know-how-to-act-like-a-mother-oh-it-s-nothing-you-just/) [Peter Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-brown/) > [I have to break it off. I've been seeing someone else and they told me I had to choose. Besides, your mother doesn't snore…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-have-to-break-it-off-i-ve-been-seeing-someone-else-and-they-told-me/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tina-fey/and-when-she-one-day-turns-on-me-and-calls-me-a-bitch-in-front-of/) [Tina Fey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tina-fey/) > [Women especially are often asked to choose between being a mother and being a leader. Without adequate policy support, too many women face not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-wu/women-especially-are-often-asked-to-choose-between-being-a-mother-and/) [Michelle Wu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-wu/) > [Wise children always choose a mother who was a shocking flirt in her maiden days, and so had several offers before she accepted their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-m-barrie/wise-children-always-choose-a-mother-who-was-a-shocking-flirt-in-her/) [James M. Barrie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-m-barrie/) > [it is a little considered fact that simply in the process of becoming a mother, one does not automatically become a saint.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eugenia-price/it-is-a-little-considered-fact-that-simply-in-the-process-of-becoming/) [Eugenia Price](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eugenia-price/) > [Anorexia is such a self-consuming, selfish disease. It's all about you. Becoming a mother, all of a sudden it wasn't about me anymore.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tracey-gold/anorexia-is-such-a-self-consuming-selfish-disease-it-s-all-about-you/) [Tracey Gold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tracey-gold/) > [Becoming a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me, I am happy to once again be a part of National…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nia-vardalos/becoming-a-mother-is-the-best-thing-that-has-ever-happened-to-me-i-am/) [Nia Vardalos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nia-vardalos/) > [There's no doubt that becoming a mother was the greatest thing I'll ever do](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-basinger/there-s-no-doubt-that-becoming-a-mother-was-the-greatest-thing-i-ll/) [Kim Basinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-basinger/) > [I feel sexier than ever after becoming a mother.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lights/i-feel-sexier-than-ever-after-becoming-a-mother/) [Lights](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lights/) > [Being a mother means that your heart is no longer yours; it wanders wherever your children do](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-bernard-shaw/being-a-mother-means-that-your-heart-is-no-longer-yours-it-wanders/) [George Bernard Shaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-bernard-shaw/) > [Becoming a mother has taught me to simply things and also to appreciate being at home more.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shakira/becoming-a-mother-has-taught-me-to-simply-things-and-also-to/) [Shakira](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shakira/) > [Becoming a mother cannot help but change things. An author's life is reflected in their writing, whether they want it to be or not,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-zettel/becoming-a-mother-cannot-help-but-change-things-an-author-s-life-is/) [Sarah Zettel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-zettel/) > [Becoming a mother has been the most amazing experience-in an instant you become strong. You have to be a little bit wiser; it's the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-holmes/becoming-a-mother-has-been-the-most-amazing-experience-in-an-instant/) [Katie Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-holmes/) ## More by Judith Warner > [“The Mommy Mystique tells us that we are the luckiest women in the world -- the freest, with the most choices, the broadest horizons,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/the-mommy-mystique-tells-us-that-we-are-the-luckiest-women-in-the/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) > [“We seem to feel as though the life our children have -- that we have built for them -- is just a delicate house…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/we-seem-to-feel-as-though-the-life-our-children-have-that-we-have/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) > [“Too many of us now allow ourselves to be defined by motherhood and direct every ounce of our energy into our children. This sounds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/too-many-of-us-now-allow-ourselves-to-be-defined-by-motherhood-and/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) > [“Something is missing, and it's something not so easy to name as semiabsent husbands, not so easy to point to as a lack of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/something-is-missing-and-it-s-something-not-so-easy-to-name-as/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) > [“--what's really unique about maternal anxiety today is our belief that if something goes wrong with or for our children, it's a reflection on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/what-s-really-unique-about-maternal-anxiety-today-is-our-belief-that/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) > [The American middle class, it seems to me, is looking to politicians now to satisfy a pretty basic - and urgent - level of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/the-american-middle-class-it-seems-to-me-is-looking-to-politicians/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) > [“All these things we do bespeak a terrible anxiety: that our children simply will not be able to make it through life if we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/all-these-things-we-do-bespeak-a-terrible-anxiety-that-our-children/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) > [“There’s a general sense now that children’s rights, children’s needs, children’s wants and desires have taken on too prominent a place in our family…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/there-s-a-general-sense-now-that-children-s-rights-children-s-needs/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) > [“I found that when women were able to act in line with their natural inclinations and ambitions -- whether to work or stay at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/i-found-that-when-women-were-able-to-act-in-line-with-their-natural/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) > [“I realized, listening to the silences that fell sometimes in my interview groups, that there are things that are sayable and unsayable about motherhood…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/i-realized-listening-to-the-silences-that-fell-sometimes-in-my/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) > [“I experienced a devastating loss of self...But in the same moment, I also recognized that a profound commitment had taken root inside me, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/i-experienced-a-devastating-loss-of-self-but-in-the-same-moment-i/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) > [“If things are better for women there, it is due to a profound and enduring social consensus that life should be made livable based…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/if-things-are-better-for-women-there-it-is-due-to-a-profound-and/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) > [“The media not only fans our fears, it comforts us in our hubris. Nearly every scare story comes with a Message: You can take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/the-media-not-only-fans-our-fears-it-comforts-us-in-our-hubris-nearly/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) > [Remember: You're not alone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/remember-you-re-not-alone/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) > [“For too many women in America are becoming sick with exhaustion and stress as they try to do things that can't be -- shouldn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/for-too-many-women-in-america-are-becoming-sick-with-exhaustion-and/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) [Explore all 19 Judith Warner quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) ## More Balancing act quotes > [“I once asked you what anxiety felt like, and you told me that most days left you riddled with bullet holes. Every morning came…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/d-a-s/i-once-asked-you-what-anxiety-felt-like-and-you-told-me-that-most/) [d.a.s](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/d-a-s/) > [Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/communication-is-a-continual-balancing-act-juggling-the-conflicting/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [“It’s what we wrestle with every single day. The intersection of comfort, danger, and safety. The balancing act between vulnerability and shame. The opportunity…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seth-godin/it-s-what-we-wrestle-with-every-single-day-the-intersection-of/) [Seth Godin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seth-godin/) > [Trying to be a socialist and a libertarian is obviously a very difficult balancing act, which nobody has pulled off too successfully in this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-hare/trying-to-be-a-socialist-and-a-libertarian-is-obviously-a-very/) [David Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-hare/) > [We are all trying to balance our careers and children and give as much of ourselves and our time to them. You work and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelly-preston/we-are-all-trying-to-balance-our-careers-and-children-and-give-as/) [Kelly Preston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelly-preston/) > [And will you succeed? Yes, you will indeed!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dr-seuss/and-will-you-succeed-yes-you-will-indeed/) [Dr. Seuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dr-seuss/) > [When you listen to the music, you can also see the film or read the article, and it's all part of the same journey…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cameron-crowe/when-you-listen-to-the-music-you-can-also-see-the-film-or-read-the/) [Cameron Crowe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cameron-crowe/) > [“Life is a balancing act that can be fun if you let it. Appreciation and striving both have a vital role in your well-being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-a-balancing-act-that-can-be-fun-if-you-let-it-appreciation/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“The last one's hard. Marriage is always a balancing act, and it's never a good idea for one partner to get too big a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-elizabeth-phillips/the-last-one-s-hard-marriage-is-always-a-balancing-act-and-it-s-never/) [Susan Elizabeth Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-elizabeth-phillips/) > [I love the idea that 'a person is a person no matter how small'.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-carrey/i-love-the-idea-that-a-person-is-a-person-no-matter-how-small/) [Jim Carrey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-carrey/) > [My one concern is that Hu Jintao may overestimate how much power China has in Pyongyang. They have - they do have influence, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-m-gates/my-one-concern-is-that-hu-jintao-may-overestimate-how-much-power/) [Robert M. Gates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-m-gates/) > [Communication is a continualbalancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacyand independence. To survivein the world, we have to act in concert with others,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/communication-is-a-continualbalancing-act-juggling-the-conflicting/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [We're going to sing about things that matter to us. The balancing act is to present these ideas but also make the music exciting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conor-oberst/we-re-going-to-sing-about-things-that-matter-to-us-the-balancing-act/) [Conor Oberst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conor-oberst/) > [“Even when we can pinpoint “something good” that came out of a tragedy, it never balances out what we have lost. How could anything…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-custis-james/even-when-we-can-pinpoint-something-good-that-came-out-of-a-tragedy/) [Carolyn Custis James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-custis-james/) > [Redistributing tokens is a balancing act. In most cases, forks probably want to keep ownership for users constant so users have at least the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fred-ehrsam/redistributing-tokens-is-a-balancing-act-in-most-cases-forks-probably/) [Fred Ehrsam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fred-ehrsam/) [Browse all 111 Balancing act quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/balancing-act/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "What kind of choice is it, really, when motherhood forces you into a delicate balancing act -- not just between work and family, as the equation is typically phrased, but between your premotherhood and postmotherhood identities? 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