--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The need to become a separate self is as…" description: "\"The need to become a separate self is as urgent as the yearning to merge forever. And as long as we, not our mother, initiate parting, and as long as o..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/295/judith-viorst-3988_forever_the-need-to-become-a-separate-self-is-as_1026115.jpg" --- # The need to become a separate self is as urgent as the… ![“The need to become a separate self is as urgent as the yearning to merge forever. And as long as we, not our mother, initiate parting, and as long as our mother remains reliably there, it seems possible to risk, and even to revel in, standing alone.” quote by Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/295/judith-viorst-3988_forever_the-need-to-become-a-separate-self-is-as_1026115.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/295/judith-viorst-3988_forever_the-need-to-become-a-separate-self-is-as_1026115.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/295/judith-viorst-3988_forever_the-need-to-become-a-separate-self-is-as_1026115.jpg) > “The need to become a separate self is as urgent as the yearning to merge forever. And as long as we, not our mother, initiate parting, and as long as our mother remains reliably there, it seems possible to risk, and even to revel in, standing alone.” [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote contrasts the drive for individuality with the desire for deep connection, suggesting both are essential and can coexist when we recognize our dependence on others. **In simple terms:** Balancing independence and connection is vital. Key Takeaway Embrace both self-reliance and relational bonds. Themes identity relationships dependence growth Mood reflective hopeful Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - personal development - family dynamics - creative collaboration Key Concepts self‑actualization attachment theory existentialism Questions to Reflect On - How do you nurture independence without isolating yourself? - What relationships support your sense of self? A Different Perspective Balancing alone can neglect the need for community. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Mother](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mother/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Risk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/risk/) [Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self/) [Standing alone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/standing-alone/) [Yearning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/yearning/) ## Related quotes > [I would say both Western psychology and Eastern paths would recognize that we get caught up in feeling like a separate self and an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-brach/i-would-say-both-western-psychology-and-eastern-paths-would-recognize/) [Tara Brach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-brach/) > [Most human beings spend their lives battling with opposing inner forces: what they think they should do versus what they are doing; how they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adyashanti/most-human-beings-spend-their-lives-battling-with-opposing-inner/) [Adyashanti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adyashanti/) > [It's normal for human beings to identify with their own separate self. The problem is that we get caught in that notion of ourself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/it-s-normal-for-human-beings-to-identify-with-their-own-separate-self/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“That which makes one forget the world, that which does not put pressure on the mind, that which makes peace prevail, that which keeps…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dada-bhagwan/that-which-makes-one-forget-the-world-that-which-does-not-put/) [Dada Bhagwan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dada-bhagwan/) > [“Your False Self is who you think you are. Your thinking does not make it true. Your False Self is almost entirely a social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-rohr/your-false-self-is-who-you-think-you-are-your-thinking-does-not-make/) [Richard Rohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-rohr/) > [The ego is the separate self through which the universal self can experience the adventure of living.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-freke/the-ego-is-the-separate-self-through-which-the-universal-self-can/) [Timothy Freke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-freke/) > [It is very hard to separate one's self from a character. Sometimes the people closest to me have to be very understanding.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/halle-berry/it-is-very-hard-to-separate-one-s-self-from-a-character-sometimes-the/) [Halle Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/halle-berry/) > [It is the cry of the separate self, ‘What about me?’ As long as we keep acting from that place, it doesn’t matter who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-eisenstein/it-is-the-cry-of-the-separate-self-what-about-me-as-long-as-we-keep/) [Charles Eisenstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-eisenstein/) > [A man is never more his single separate self than when he sets out on a journey.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dos-passos/a-man-is-never-more-his-single-separate-self-than-when-he-sets-out-on/) [John Dos Passos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dos-passos/) > [There is no holy life. There is no war between good and evil. There is no sin and no redemption. None of these things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/there-is-no-holy-life-there-is-no-war-between-good-and-evil-there-is/) [Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/) > [Fear forces us to spend our lives dealing with it, ostensibly to overcome it. But that is a trick. Only fear (the illusion of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheri-huber/fear-forces-us-to-spend-our-lives-dealing-with-it-ostensibly-to/) [Cheri Huber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheri-huber/) > [“To protect the separate self, we push certain things away, while to bolster it we hold on to other things and identify with them.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/to-protect-the-separate-self-we-push-certain-things-away-while-to/) [Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/) > [The truth is, I'd like to be closer to my kids. I'd like to share more with them. But that's not what this time…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelly-corrigan/the-truth-is-i-d-like-to-be-closer-to-my-kids-i-d-like-to-share-more/) [Kelly Corrigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelly-corrigan/) > [Your constant utilization of thought to give continuity to your separate self is you. There is nothing there inside you other than that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/u-g-krishnamurti/your-constant-utilization-of-thought-to-give-continuity-to-your/) [U.G. Krishnamurti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/u-g-krishnamurti/) > [There is a time to separate from our mother. But unless we are ready to separate-unless we are ready to leave her and be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/there-is-a-time-to-separate-from-our-mother-but-unless-we-are-ready/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) ## More by Judith Viorst > [I actually sat down and started three Alexanders at the same time. Two of them went in the trash and got stomped on because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/i-actually-sat-down-and-started-three-alexanders-at-the-same-time-two/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) > [I don't intend to stop showing a little cleavage. Nor do I intend to stop flashing a little thigh.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/i-don-t-intend-to-stop-showing-a-little-cleavage-nor-do-i-intend-to/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) > [as we acquire new aches and new pains, our health care is, of necessity, being supplied by internists, cardiologists, dermatologists, podiatrists, urologists, periodontists, gynecologists…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/as-we-acquire-new-aches-and-new-pains-our-health-care-is-of-necessity/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) > [There is a time to separate from our mother. But unless we are ready to separate-unless we are ready to leave her and be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/there-is-a-time-to-separate-from-our-mother-but-unless-we-are-ready/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) > [“I didn't really notice that he had a funny nose. And he certainly looked better all dressed up in fancy clothes. He's not nearly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/i-didn-t-really-notice-that-he-had-a-funny-nose-and-he-certainly/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) > [I had lived with my mother in anger and love - I suppose most daughters do - but my children only knew her in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/i-had-lived-with-my-mother-in-anger-and-love-i-suppose-most-daughters/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) > [Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/love-is-when-you-realize-that-he-s-as-sexy-as-woody-allen-as-smart-as/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) > [We will have to give up the hope that, if we try hard, we somehow will always do right by our children. The connection…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/we-will-have-to-give-up-the-hope-that-if-we-try-hard-we-somehow-will/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) > [Recognize joy when it arrives in the plain brown wrappings of everyday life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/recognize-joy-when-it-arrives-in-the-plain-brown-wrappings-of/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) > [“Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/strength-is-the-capacity-to-break-a-hershey-bar-into-four-pieces-with/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) > [The best I can do is, it's like a 'ding!' You're writing, and then something starts falling into place, and you hear or feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/the-best-i-can-do-is-it-s-like-a-ding-you-re-writing-and-then/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) > [Don't let anything sneak past you. Don't say, 'Well, oh, I'll take a picture and put it in my photograph album.' I notice it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/don-t-let-anything-sneak-past-you-don-t-say-well-oh-i-ll-take-a/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) > [We lost not only through death, but also by leaving and being left, by changing and letting go and moving on. And our losses…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/we-lost-not-only-through-death-but-also-by-leaving-and-being-left-by/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) > [Not listening is probably the commonest unkindness of married life, and one that creates - more devastatingly than an eternity of forgotten birthdays and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/not-listening-is-probably-the-commonest-unkindness-of-married-life/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) > [Because we believe ourselves to be better parents than our parents, we expect to produce better children than they produced.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-viorst/because-we-believe-ourselves-to-be-better-parents-than-our-parents-we/) [Judith Viorst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) [Explore all 118 Judith Viorst quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-viorst/) ## More Forever quotes > [Every one knows that the exercise of military power is forever dangerous to civil rights; and we have had recent instances of violences that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-adams/every-one-knows-that-the-exercise-of-military-power-is-forever/) [Samuel Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-adams/) > [“I believe in forever, and that’s what you and I are. We define eternity. This may sound cheesy, but you make me go there.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-mchugh/i-believe-in-forever-and-that-s-what-you-and-i-are-we-define-eternity/) [Gail McHugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-mchugh/) > [Contradictory precepts that have guided me for as long as I can remember: 1: I will live forever. 2: I will die tomorrow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-gardner/contradictory-precepts-that-have-guided-me-for-as-long-as-i-can/) [Howard Gardner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-gardner/) > [People don't always realize that a record is forever. It'll always be there under your name. You've got to be certain that it's right.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-iero/people-don-t-always-realize-that-a-record-is-forever-it-ll-always-be/) [Frank Iero](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-iero/) > [When you find someone you want to spend forever with you, you don't let them go, whether forever turns out to be a day…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/when-you-find-someone-you-want-to-spend-forever-with-you-you-don-t/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [What does forever mean to you? When you couldnt even keep it true You said were youd forever be there But were those just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fad-ibra/what-does-forever-mean-to-you-when-you-couldnt-even-keep-it-true-you/) [Fad Ibra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fad-ibra/) > [Forever is a really long time, you know? What do you do with forever?" "The same thing you do when you don't have forever."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-hocking/forever-is-a-really-long-time-you-know-what-do-you-do-with-forever/) [Amanda Hocking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-hocking/) > [I think when you’re dying you start looking for important things in the corners. You can’t let anything that seems even semi-important pass, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-crutcher/i-think-when-you-re-dying-you-start-looking-for-important-things-in/) [Chris Crutcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-crutcher/) > [Whole scenes of your life slip away forever if you don't put them down in ink.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/silas-house/whole-scenes-of-your-life-slip-away-forever-if-you-don-t-put-them/) [Silas House](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/silas-house/) > [Tonight I feel like a prisoner on fire, waiting desperately... denied, sentenced forever more. Only your love can set me free.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-bolton/tonight-i-feel-like-a-prisoner-on-fire-waiting-desperately-denied/) [Michael Bolton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-bolton/) > [It all depends on you. You can go on sleeping forever, you can wake up right this moment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rajneesh/it-all-depends-on-you-you-can-go-on-sleeping-forever-you-can-wake-up/) [Rajneesh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rajneesh/) > [I do conscientiously and sincerely believe that the Order of Freemasonry, if not the greatest, is one of the greatest moral and political evils…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-quincy-adams/i-do-conscientiously-and-sincerely-believe-that-the-order-of/) [John Quincy Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-quincy-adams/) > [There is nothing more I ask of this life than this moment, exactly so. And suddenly forever seems like too short a time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-andreas/there-is-nothing-more-i-ask-of-this-life-than-this-moment-exactly-so/) [Brian Andreas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-andreas/) > [I want to do - I want to be putting out classic stuff that's gonna stick and last forever, you feel me?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yg/i-want-to-do-i-want-to-be-putting-out-classic-stuff-that-s-gonna/) YG > [“I will run every mile, i will save every line, i will say i reached the top and i will fall back down standing.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mennah-al-refaey/i-will-run-every-mile-i-will-save-every-line-i-will-say-i-reached-the/) Mennah al refaey Browse all 10,689 Forever quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The need to become a separate self is as urgent as the yearning to merge forever. 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