--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: But sometimes one hears an…" description: "\"“But sometimes one hears an Etiquette-Buster’s confession that rings true: “You make me feel guilty.” I’m not going to bother, this argument goes, so w..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14e/judith-martin-1927_feel-guilty_but-sometimes-one-hears-an-etiquette-bus_421647.png" --- # But sometimes one hears an Etiquette-Buster’s confession… ![“But sometimes one hears an Etiquette-Buster’s confession that rings true: “You make me feel guilty.” I’m not going to bother, this argument goes, so we need to lower the standard so I don’t look bad. On” quote by Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14e/judith-martin-1927_feel-guilty_but-sometimes-one-hears-an-etiquette-bus_421647.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14e/judith-martin-1927_feel-guilty_but-sometimes-one-hears-an-etiquette-bus_421647.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14e/judith-martin-1927_feel-guilty_but-sometimes-one-hears-an-etiquette-bus_421647.png) > ““But sometimes one hears an Etiquette-Buster’s confession that rings true: “You make me feel guilty.” I’m not going to bother, this argument goes, so we need to lower the standard so I don’t look bad. On”” [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People may use guilt as a tactic to avoid accountability, lowering standards to protect their image. **In simple terms:** Guilt is sometimes used to dodge responsibility and lower expectations. Key Takeaway Recognize and address guilt‑based manipulation. Themes ethics communication self‑respect boundaries Mood assertive thoughtful Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - personal relationships - workplace negotiations - customer service - family discussions Key Concepts psychology social etiquette conflict resolution Questions to Reflect On - When have you felt guilt used to manipulate you? - How can you set clear standards without feeling guilty? A Different Perspective Avoiding guilt does not resolve underlying issues. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Bother Argument](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bother-argument-3736659/) [Etiquette Buster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/etiquette-buster-3736657/) [Feel Guilty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel-guilty/) [Guilty Going](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilty-going-627316/) [Hears Etiquette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hears-etiquette-3736658/) ## Related quotes > [“The people making you feel guilty for going your own way and choosing your own life are simply saying, ‘Look at me. I’m better…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vishen-lakhiani/the-people-making-you-feel-guilty-for-going-your-own-way-and-choosing/) [Vishen Lakhiani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vishen-lakhiani/) > [I go to the theater two or three times a week when I'm in London. Whereas I feel guilty going to the cinema in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eddie-redmayne/i-go-to-the-theater-two-or-three-times-a-week-when-i-m-in-london/) [Eddie Redmayne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eddie-redmayne/) > [A lawyer wants to get his client off the hook. And even if he knows the client is guilty, he is going to find…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahathir-mohamad/a-lawyer-wants-to-get-his-client-off-the-hook-and-even-if-he-knows/) [Mahathir Mohamad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahathir-mohamad/) > [I've been guilty of going for critical acclaim in the past but actually my most successful songs and the ones that mean the most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cmat/i-ve-been-guilty-of-going-for-critical-acclaim-in-the-past-but/) [CMAT](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cmat/) > [I hate feeling guilty about not going to school...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-hate-feeling-guilty-about-not-going-to-school/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dov-davidoff/living-by-the-beach-means-feeling-guilty-about-never-going-to-the/) [Dov Davidoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dov-davidoff/) > [“We must not feel guilty for what we cannot control, dear.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-bein/we-must-not-feel-guilty-for-what-we-cannot-control-dear/) [Steve Bein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-bein/) > [“\_Sunday!\_ In the country Sunday is the day on which you do exactly as much work as you do on other days but feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-macdonald/sunday-in-the-country-sunday-is-the-day-on-which-you-do-exactly-as/) [Betty MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-macdonald/) > [Jesus doesn't care if you feel guilty. Jesus wants you to change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-miles/jesus-doesn-t-care-if-you-feel-guilty-jesus-wants-you-to-change/) [Sarah Miles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-miles/) > [If you feel guilty or quietly ashamed, seek the power of the Atonement.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neill-f-marriott/if-you-feel-guilty-or-quietly-ashamed-seek-the-power-of-the-atonement/) [Neill F. Marriott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neill-f-marriott/) > [“I'm sorry," he said. He shook his head. "There are about a dozen girls who I had to say I was sorry to because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-bell/i-m-sorry-he-said-he-shook-his-head-there-are-about-a-dozen-girls-who/) [Audrey Bell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-bell/) > [“I had nothing to feel guilty about. I had no one to answer to. I could look back upon my short life with Scott…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vee-hoffman/i-had-nothing-to-feel-guilty-about-i-had-no-one-to-answer-to-i-could/) [Vee Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vee-hoffman/) > [“I remembered my father telling me when I was a little girl, "Guilt is bullshit. Don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kaylie-jones/i-remembered-my-father-telling-me-when-i-was-a-little-girl-guilt-is/) [Kaylie Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kaylie-jones/) > [“No. It would help if I were able to feel guilty.But the end of innocence is also the end of guilt”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-baldwin/no-it-would-help-if-i-were-able-to-feel-guilty-but-the-end-of/) [James Baldwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-baldwin/) > [Never underestimate a man's ability to make you feel guilty for his mistakes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rihanna/never-underestimate-a-man-s-ability-to-make-you-feel-guilty-for-his/) [Rihanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rihanna/) ## More by Judith Martin > [Smart people duck when they hear the dread announcement 'I'm going to be perfectly honest with you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/smart-people-duck-when-they-hear-the-dread-announcement-i-m-going-to/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) > [If you put together all the ingredients that naturally attract children - sex, violence, revenge, spectacle and vigorous noise - what you have is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/if-you-put-together-all-the-ingredients-that-naturally-attract/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) > [The one prediction that never comes true is, 'You'll thank me for telling you this.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/the-one-prediction-that-never-comes-true-is-you-ll-thank-me-for/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) > [Chaperons, even in their days of glory, were almost never able to enforce morality; what they did was to force immorality to be discreet.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/chaperons-even-in-their-days-of-glory-were-almost-never-able-to/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) > [There are always proper responses, even to rude questions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/there-are-always-proper-responses-even-to-rude-questions/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) > [Perhaps the greatest rudenesses of our time come not from the callousness of strangers, but from the solicitousness of intimates who believe that their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/perhaps-the-greatest-rudenesses-of-our-time-come-not-from-the/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) > [We are all entitled to our little harmless habits, but we are not entitled to demand approval for them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/we-are-all-entitled-to-our-little-harmless-habits-but-we-are-not/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) > [“Lady” is not used before the lady’s first name unless she is the daughter of a duke, marquess or earl; those who come by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/lady-is-not-used-before-the-lady-s-first-name-unless-she-is-the/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) > [Greece is a good place for rebirths.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/greece-is-a-good-place-for-rebirths/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) > [Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/adorable-children-are-considered-to-be-the-general-property-of-the/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) > [I have always believed that the key to a happy marriage was the ability to say with a straight face, 'Why, I don't know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/i-have-always-believed-that-the-key-to-a-happy-marriage-was-the/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) > [It is, indeed, a trial to maintain the virtue of humility when one can't help being right.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/it-is-indeed-a-trial-to-maintain-the-virtue-of-humility-when-one-can/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) > [Honesty is a virtue, but not the only one. If you're in a courtroom you need the whole truth and nothing but the truth;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/honesty-is-a-virtue-but-not-the-only-one-if-you-re-in-a-courtroom-you/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) > [Only a person who considers himself too good for you is good enough.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/only-a-person-who-considers-himself-too-good-for-you-is-good-enough/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) > [Society cannot exist without etiquette ... It never has, and until our own century, everybody knew that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/society-cannot-exist-without-etiquette-it-never-has-and-until-our-own/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) [Explore all 197 Judith Martin quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) ## More Feel Guilty quotes > [Never underestimate a man's ability to make you feel guilty for his mistakes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rihanna/never-underestimate-a-man-s-ability-to-make-you-feel-guilty-for-his/) [Rihanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rihanna/) > [“No. It would help if I were able to feel guilty.But the end of innocence is also the end of guilt”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-baldwin/no-it-would-help-if-i-were-able-to-feel-guilty-but-the-end-of/) [James Baldwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-baldwin/) > [“I remembered my father telling me when I was a little girl, "Guilt is bullshit. Don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kaylie-jones/i-remembered-my-father-telling-me-when-i-was-a-little-girl-guilt-is/) [Kaylie Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kaylie-jones/) > [“I had nothing to feel guilty about. I had no one to answer to. I could look back upon my short life with Scott…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vee-hoffman/i-had-nothing-to-feel-guilty-about-i-had-no-one-to-answer-to-i-could/) [Vee Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vee-hoffman/) > [“I'm sorry," he said. He shook his head. "There are about a dozen girls who I had to say I was sorry to because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-bell/i-m-sorry-he-said-he-shook-his-head-there-are-about-a-dozen-girls-who/) [Audrey Bell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-bell/) > [“\_Sunday!\_ In the country Sunday is the day on which you do exactly as much work as you do on other days but feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-macdonald/sunday-in-the-country-sunday-is-the-day-on-which-you-do-exactly-as/) [Betty MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-macdonald/) > [“We must not feel guilty for what we cannot control, dear.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-bein/we-must-not-feel-guilty-for-what-we-cannot-control-dear/) [Steve Bein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-bein/) > [Jesus doesn't care if you feel guilty. Jesus wants you to change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-miles/jesus-doesn-t-care-if-you-feel-guilty-jesus-wants-you-to-change/) [Sarah Miles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-miles/) > [If you feel guilty or quietly ashamed, seek the power of the Atonement.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neill-f-marriott/if-you-feel-guilty-or-quietly-ashamed-seek-the-power-of-the-atonement/) [Neill F. Marriott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neill-f-marriott/) > [I do feel guilty. I do. Especially about my family, my children. I write about them, and I know that this will haunt them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karl-ove-knausgaard/i-do-feel-guilty-i-do-especially-about-my-family-my-children-i-write/) [Karl Ove Knausgaard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karl-ove-knausgaard/) > [I tend to be a little too old to feel guilty about watching anything. Like, I watch 'Survivor' every week.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-scott/i-tend-to-be-a-little-too-old-to-feel-guilty-about-watching-anything/) [Adam Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-scott/) > [I can say that I'm a feminist and I try to be progressive and all that stuff. But I when I'm tired or when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-delaney/i-can-say-that-i-m-a-feminist-and-i-try-to-be-progressive-and-all/) [Rob Delaney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-delaney/) > [“I know I shouldn't feel guilty for being angry sometimes, or bitter" "Knowing something is beans.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megan-hart/i-know-i-shouldn-t-feel-guilty-for-being-angry-sometimes-or-bitter/) [Megan Hart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megan-hart/) > [“Do you ever feel guilty?” she asked, clutching a flower to her chest. “Yes,” I replied. “But only because it has taken me so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-faudet/do-you-ever-feel-guilty-she-asked-clutching-a-flower-to-her-chest-yes/) [Michael Faudet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-faudet/) > [“We feel bad about feeling bad. We feel guilty for feeling guilty. We get angry about getting angry. We get anxious about feeling anxious.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-manson/we-feel-bad-about-feeling-bad-we-feel-guilty-for-feeling-guilty-we/) [Mark Manson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-manson/) [Browse all 462 Feel Guilty quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel-guilty/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“But sometimes one hears an Etiquette-Buster’s confession that rings true: “You make me feel guilty.” I’m not going to bother, this argument goes, so we need to lower the standard so I don’t look bad. On”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Judith Martin" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/but-sometimes-one-hears-an-etiquette-buster-s-confession-that-rings/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Feel Guilty" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/but-sometimes-one-hears-an-etiquette-buster-s-confession-that-rings/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14e/judith-martin-1927_feel-guilty_but-sometimes-one-hears-an-etiquette-bus_421647.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14e/judith-martin-1927_feel-guilty_but-sometimes-one-hears-an-etiquette-bus_421647.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14e/judith-martin-1927_feel-guilty_but-sometimes-one-hears-an-etiquette-bus_421647.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“But sometimes one hears an Etiquette-Buster’s confession that rings true: “You make me feel guilty.” I’m not…” — Judith Martin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Judith Martin", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“But sometimes one hears an Etiquette-Buster’s...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/but-sometimes-one-hears-an-etiquette-buster-s-confession-that-rings/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/but-sometimes-one-hears-an-etiquette-buster-s-confession-that-rings/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```