---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Love is not a state, a feeling, a…"
description: "\"Love is not a state, a feeling, a disposition, but an exchange, uneven, fraught with history, with ghosts, with longings that are more or less legible ..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/844/judith-butler-1374_disposition_love-is-not-a-state-a-feeling-a-disposit_2552104.jpg"
---

#  Love is not a state, a feeling, a disposition, but an…

![“Love is not a state, a feeling, a disposition, but an exchange, uneven, fraught with history, with ghosts, with longings that are more or less legible to those who try to see one another with their own faulty vision.” quote by Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/844/judith-butler-1374_disposition_love-is-not-a-state-a-feeling-a-disposit_2552104.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/844/judith-butler-1374_disposition_love-is-not-a-state-a-feeling-a-disposit_2552104.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/844/judith-butler-1374_disposition_love-is-not-a-state-a-feeling-a-disposit_2552104.jpg)

> “Love is not a state, a feeling, a disposition, but an exchange, uneven, fraught with history, with ghosts, with longings that are more or less legible to those who try to see one another with their own faulty vision.”

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Love is an ongoing, uneven exchange shaped by history, ghosts, and personal visions, not a static feeling.

**In simple terms:** Love is a complex, historical exchange.

Key Takeaway

Recognize love’s depth and history.

Themes

relationships history perception exchange vulnerability

Mood

reflective introspective critical

Type

philosophical inspirational

When to use this quote

- romantic partnerships
- family dynamics
- conflict resolution
- healing past trauma

Key Concepts

social theory affect theory interpersonal dynamics

Questions to Reflect On

- How do personal histories shape your love?
- Can love be truly equal?

A Different Perspective

Love can be idealized, ignoring power imbalances.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) [Ghost](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ghost/) [Ghosts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ghosts/) [History](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/history/) [Longing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/longing/) [Longings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/longings/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Nostalgia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nostalgia/) [Vision](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/vision/)

## Related quotes

> [I think anybody's who's ever traveled to Paris or any sort of older European city will get caught up in the romance of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-feldman/i-think-anybody-s-who-s-ever-traveled-to-paris-or-any-sort-of-older/)

[Ben Feldman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-feldman/)

> [Sometimes it has to do with other longings that are much more existential. Sometimes you go elsewhere not because you are not liking the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/sometimes-it-has-to-do-with-other-longings-that-are-much-more/)

[Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/)

> [How terrible it is to have no cares, no longings. I do not fit. I feel too deeply and want too much. As cages…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/libba-bray/how-terrible-it-is-to-have-no-cares-no-longings-i-do-not-fit-i-feel/)

[Libba Bray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/libba-bray/)

> [One of the greatest human longings is to be close to someone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathleen-r-fischer/one-of-the-greatest-human-longings-is-to-be-close-to-someone/)

Kathleen R Fischer

> [Never cut loose from your longings.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amos-oz/never-cut-loose-from-your-longings/)

[Amos Oz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amos-oz/)

> [...all his longings came out as a kind of disdain for what he longed for.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-hollinghurst/all-his-longings-came-out-as-a-kind-of-disdain-for-what-he-longed-for/)

[Alan Hollinghurst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-hollinghurst/)

> [It is a time when one’s spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why; when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-is-a-time-when-one-s-spirit-is-subdued-and-sad-one-knows-not-why/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [“You can learn a lot about the longings and generalized gender anxieties of an era by the kinds of fake women it dreams up.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carina-chocano/you-can-learn-a-lot-about-the-longings-and-generalized-gender/)

[Carina Chocano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carina-chocano/)

> [The life of woman is full of woe, Toiling on and on and on, With breaking heart, and tearful eyes, The secret longings that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-wadsworth-longfellow/the-life-of-woman-is-full-of-woe-toiling-on-and-on-and-on-with/)

[Henry Wadsworth Longfellow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-wadsworth-longfellow/)

> [“Lonely Balcony The deterioration brought by weariness was visible. Its burden of abandonment can be perceived at a glance. The balcony ache with longings.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iqra-iqbal/lonely-balcony-the-deterioration-brought-by-weariness-was-visible-its/)

[iqra iqbal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iqra-iqbal/)

> [“Trifles cannot satisfy our longings. Sensual pleasures, power over our fellow man, the acquisition of things, these are babbles, toys, trifles. Our spirits yearn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vaughn-heppner/trifles-cannot-satisfy-our-longings-sensual-pleasures-power-over-our/)

[Vaughn Heppner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vaughn-heppner/)

> [“This is what we do with books: we put our longings and our questions and our angst onto trading ships and send them out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julian-darius/this-is-what-we-do-with-books-we-put-our-longings-and-our-questions/)

[Julian Darius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julian-darius/)

> [ “\[She was\] a creature full of eager, passionate longings for all that was beautiful and glad; thirsty for all knowledge; with an ear straining… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-eliot/she-was-a-creature-full-of-eager-passionate-longings-for-all-that-was/)

[George Eliot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-eliot/)

> [“Out of infinite longings rise finite deeds like weak fountains, falling back just in time and trembling. And yet, what otherwise remains silent, our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rainer-maria-rilke/out-of-infinite-longings-rise-finite-deeds-like-weak-fountains/)

[Rainer Maria Rilke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rainer-maria-rilke/)

> [“Some of the streets are, however, genuinely narrow. These same streets may not be filled with machine-gun fire and the dramatic screech of violins,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dolan/some-of-the-streets-are-however-genuinely-narrow-these-same-streets/)

[John Dolan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dolan/)

## More by Judith Butler

> [I don't think we have to have a personal relation to a life lost to understand that something terrible has taken place, especially in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/i-don-t-think-we-have-to-have-a-personal-relation-to-a-life-lost-to/)

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

> [We need a legal and political understanding of the right of the refugee, whereby no solution for one group produces a new class of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/we-need-a-legal-and-political-understanding-of-the-right-of-the/)

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

> [When we say gender is performed, we usually mean that we've taken on a role or we're acting in some way and that our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/when-we-say-gender-is-performed-we-usually-mean-that-we-ve-taken-on-a/)

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

> [Cameras help to minimize collateral damage, and very often, without a camera a missile cannot fire. Certainly, without a camera a drone can't function,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/cameras-help-to-minimize-collateral-damage-and-very-often-without-a/)

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

> [I would say that I'm a feminist theorist before I'm a queer theorist or a gay and lesbian theorist.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/i-would-say-that-i-m-a-feminist-theorist-before-i-m-a-queer-theorist/)

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

> [Very often, if you just get the question: "Well, are you a Zionist?" if you say no, it's assumed that you want the destruction…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/very-often-if-you-just-get-the-question-well-are-you-a-zionist-if-you/)

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

> [Sexual harassment law is very important. But I think it would be a mistake if the sexual harassment law movement is the only way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/sexual-harassment-law-is-very-important-but-i-think-it-would-be-a/)

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

> [Genocide is not a legitimate option. It's not ok to decide that an entire population has no right to live in the world. No…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/genocide-is-not-a-legitimate-option-it-s-not-ok-to-decide-that-an/)

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

> [“Let's face it. We're undone by each other. And if we're not, we're missing something. If this seems so clearly the case with grief,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/let-s-face-it-we-re-undone-by-each-other-and-if-we-re-not-we-re/)

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

> [The pleasurable part of public mourning can also lead to a sense of self-sanctification that justifies in advance any war effort, whether or not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/the-pleasurable-part-of-public-mourning-can-also-lead-to-a-sense-of/)

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

> [“There is no life without the conditions of life that variably sustain life, and those conditions are pervasively social, establishing not the discrete ontology…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/there-is-no-life-without-the-conditions-of-life-that-variably-sustain/)

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

> [“That the power regimes of heterosexism and phallogocentrism seek to augment themselves through a constant repetition of their logic, their metaphysic, and their naturalized…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/that-the-power-regimes-of-heterosexism-and-phallogocentrism-seek-to/)

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

> [I think that public grieving is a good thing. People need to be grieved; loss needs to be acknowledged publicly, because it helps to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/i-think-that-public-grieving-is-a-good-thing-people-need-to-be/)

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

> [Maybe we need to start with the rethinking of what is "west" and what is "non-west." It seems to me that there are any…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/maybe-we-need-to-start-with-the-rethinking-of-what-is-west-and-what/)

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

> [It will not do to say that international law is the enemy of the Jewish people, since the Jewish people surely did not as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/it-will-not-do-to-say-that-international-law-is-the-enemy-of-the/)

[Judith Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

[Explore all 248 Judith Butler quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/)

## More Disposition quotes

> [Every wife ought to answer for her man. If the husband be engaged in a seditious club, or drinks mysterious healths, or be frugal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-addison/every-wife-ought-to-answer-for-her-man-if-the-husband-be-engaged-in-a/)

[Joseph Addison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-addison/)

> [I take up the standpoint that the tendency to aggression is an innate, independent, instinctual disposition in man, and I come back now to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sigmund-freud/i-take-up-the-standpoint-that-the-tendency-to-aggression-is-an-innate/)

[Sigmund Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sigmund-freud/)

> [The world around us is an increasingly hostile and sinful place. Occasionally that splashes onto us, and perhaps, in the case of a few…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-r-holland/the-world-around-us-is-an-increasingly-hostile-and-sinful-place/)

[Jeffrey R. Holland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-r-holland/)

> [Jane had that happy disposition which would like to imagine that every one really wishes the well-being of his neighbour and struggles, though sometimes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-bottome/jane-had-that-happy-disposition-which-would-like-to-imagine-that/)

[Phyllis Bottome](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-bottome/)

> [Forget the noose. Forget the Iron Maiden. Forget the electric chair or the guillotine. The mind was mankind's most painful torture chamber, the blessed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tiffanie-debartolo/forget-the-noose-forget-the-iron-maiden-forget-the-electric-chair-or/)

[Tiffanie DeBartolo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tiffanie-debartolo/)

> [Being a Catholic, I was drawn to the mystery of the Latin and the smoke and the mirrors and all of that. That part…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-sarandon/being-a-catholic-i-was-drawn-to-the-mystery-of-the-latin-and-the/)

[Susan Sarandon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-sarandon/)

> [Thence, I suppose, my natural disposition to make fresh acquaintances, and to break with them so readily, although always for a good reason, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/giacomo-casanova/thence-i-suppose-my-natural-disposition-to-make-fresh-acquaintances/)

[Giacomo Casanova](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/giacomo-casanova/)

> [I am still determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-washington/i-am-still-determined-to-be-cheerful-and-happy-in-whatever-situation/)

[Martha Washington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-washington/)

> [True humanity consists not in a squeamish ear; it consists not in starting or shrinking at tales of misery, but in a disposition of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-james/true-humanity-consists-not-in-a-squeamish-ear-it-consists-not-in/)

[Charles James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-james/)

> [There are petty-minded people who cannot endure to be reminded of their ignorance because, since they are usually quite blind to all things, quite…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madeleine-de-souvre-marquise-de-sable/there-are-petty-minded-people-who-cannot-endure-to-be-reminded-of/)

[Madeleine de Souvre, marquise de Sable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madeleine-de-souvre-marquise-de-sable/)

> [If my ruling disposition is self-interest, I perceive that everything that happens to me is always for or against my self-interest; if, on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oswald-chambers/if-my-ruling-disposition-is-self-interest-i-perceive-that-everything/)

[Oswald Chambers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oswald-chambers/)

> [And I saw for the first time how, despite the isolation of our own lives, we are always connected to our ancestors; our bodies…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alyson-richman/and-i-saw-for-the-first-time-how-despite-the-isolation-of-our-own/)

[Alyson Richman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alyson-richman/)

> [All acts suppose certain dispositions, and habits of mind and heart, which may be in themselves states of enjoyment or of wretchedness, and which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-stuart-mill/all-acts-suppose-certain-dispositions-and-habits-of-mind-and-heart/)

[John Stuart Mill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-stuart-mill/)

> [You can't let your personal disposition be dictated by the world around you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-graffin/you-can-t-let-your-personal-disposition-be-dictated-by-the-world/)

[Greg Graffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-graffin/)

> [With a basic understanding of all humans as brothers and sisters, we can appreciate the usefulness of different systems and ideologies that can accommodate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dalai-lama/with-a-basic-understanding-of-all-humans-as-brothers-and-sisters-we/)

[Dalai Lama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dalai-lama/)

Browse all 629 Disposition quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "Love is not a state, a feeling, a disposition, but an exchange, uneven, fraught with history, with ghosts, with longings that are more or less legible to those who try to see one another with their own faulty vision.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Judith Butler"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/love-is-not-a-state-a-feeling-a-disposition-but-an-exchange-uneven/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Disposition"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/love-is-not-a-state-a-feeling-a-disposition-but-an-exchange-uneven/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/844/judith-butler-1374_disposition_love-is-not-a-state-a-feeling-a-disposit_2552104.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/844/judith-butler-1374_disposition_love-is-not-a-state-a-feeling-a-disposit_2552104.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/844/judith-butler-1374_disposition_love-is-not-a-state-a-feeling-a-disposit_2552104.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Love is not a state, a feeling, a disposition, but an exchange, uneven, fraught with history, with ghosts…” — Judith Butler",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Judith Butler",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-butler/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Love is not a state, a...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/love-is-not-a-state-a-feeling-a-disposition-but-an-exchange-uneven/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-butler/love-is-not-a-state-a-feeling-a-disposition-but-an-exchange-uneven/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
