--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: We have been together for 40 years…" description: "\"“We have been together for 40 years, married for 36. There have been three times in our relationship when we were unable to resolve an issue on our own..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f3/joyce-vissell-51819_counseling_we-have-been-together-for-40-years-marri_805747.jpg" --- # We have been together for 40 years, married for 36. There… ![“We have been together for 40 years, married for 36. There have been three times in our relationship when we were unable to resolve an issue on our own. We used all the skill that we have and yet it was still unresolved. In those three times we sought professional help because there was a blind…” quote by Joyce Vissell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f3/joyce-vissell-51819_counseling_we-have-been-together-for-40-years-marri_805747.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f3/joyce-vissell-51819_counseling_we-have-been-together-for-40-years-marri_805747.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f3/joyce-vissell-51819_counseling_we-have-been-together-for-40-years-marri_805747.jpg) > ““We have been together for 40 years, married for 36. There have been three times in our relationship when we were unable to resolve an issue on our own. We used all the skill that we have and yet it was still unresolved. In those three times we sought professional help because there was a blind spot for each of us. The therapist was able to listen to both of us and help us come to a place of resolution that we both felt good about. I feel very grateful for that help. Most times we have been able to work things through on our own. Sometimes we can clear the issue in a matter of a few minutes, sometimes an hour and sometimes it can take several days. But we still keep working on it until we both say that we feel complete, we understand our own part and responsibility in the issue rather than simply blaming each other, are willing to go on, and there is an even deeper connection and sometimes even humor to the situation. In working each issue through to completion we have been able to retain a beautiful lightness in our relationship that we both cherish.”” [Joyce Vissell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-vissell/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Long‑term partnership thrives when couples acknowledge blind spots, seek help, and resolve issues together, deepening connection and lightness. **In simple terms:** Couples grow by confronting problems together and learning from them. Key Takeaway Embrace honest dialogue and professional guidance when needed. Themes relationships communication growth resilience humor Mood grateful hopeful reflective Type advice personal relationship When to use this quote - marriage counseling - daily disagreements - stressful events - family planning Key Concepts psychology conflict resolution emotional intelligence Questions to Reflect On - How do you recognize when a problem needs external help? - What habits keep your relationship light after conflict? A Different Perspective Professional help may not always be accessible or affordable for all couples. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Counseling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/counseling/) [Deeper Connection](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deeper-connection/) [Divorce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/divorce/) [Help](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/help/) [Lightness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lightness/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/) [Self help](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-help/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Too late](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/too-late/) ## Related quotes > [I am just so happy I'm in a fun relationship. I cherish every moment we have together. Its like a fairy-tale.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-am-just-so-happy-i-m-in-a-fun-relationship-i-cherish-every-moment/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I was married for 36 years but now I'm free.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/quincy-jones/i-was-married-for-36-years-but-now-i-m-free/) [Quincy Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/quincy-jones/) > [As a former refugee myself, I am very grateful for the help my family received and the opportunities this opened up for me and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alphonso-davies/as-a-former-refugee-myself-i-am-very-grateful-for-the-help-my-family/) [Alphonso Davies](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alphonso-davies/) > [“Thank you Doctor Gboco for your help because since i have been married to my husband about 6years now i have not be able…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shelly-shapiro/thank-you-doctor-gboco-for-your-help-because-since-i-have-been/) Shelly Shapiro > [When you've lost a loved one, you realise how grateful you are for any help in those moments, and any scheme that tries to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-mangan/when-you-ve-lost-a-loved-one-you-realise-how-grateful-you-are-for-any/) [Stephen Mangan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-mangan/) > [“An unresolved issue will be like a cancer with the potential to spread into other areas of your relationship, eroding the joy, lightness, love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-vissell/an-unresolved-issue-will-be-like-a-cancer-with-the-potential-to/) [Joyce Vissell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-vissell/) > [“Your path may be painful, but it is also special. The universe has different plans for you. Remember, there are others who have permanently…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peace/your-path-may-be-painful-but-it-is-also-special-the-universe-has/) [Peace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peace/) > [You need to be funny in a way that people feel like you're trying to make a deeper connection. So that's what I try…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/drew-magary/you-need-to-be-funny-in-a-way-that-people-feel-like-you-re-trying-to/) [Drew Magary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/drew-magary/) > [You have a deeper connection with people who you have shared experiences with and shared pain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/negash-ali/you-have-a-deeper-connection-with-people-who-you-have-shared/) [Negash Ali](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/negash-ali/) > [“...what I'm getting at is like the distinction between tourist and a traveler. The tourist experience is superficial and glancing. The traveler develops a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-conover/what-i-m-getting-at-is-like-the-distinction-between-tourist-and-a/) Ted Conover > [“When I got home, it was late at night. I walked into my room and it was painfully empty. And then I saw it.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noah-galloway/when-i-got-home-it-was-late-at-night-i-walked-into-my-room-and-it-was/) [Noah Galloway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noah-galloway/) > [Thanks to music I have found a deeper connection to an otherwise elusive God. Thru music I get to commune directly, and daily. On…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-mraz/thanks-to-music-i-have-found-a-deeper-connection-to-an-otherwise/) [Jason Mraz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-mraz/) > [ “\[Readers\] are escaping from a narrow, limiting view of the world and journeying to a place where it is possible to experience a deeper… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/duncan-smith/readers-are-escaping-from-a-narrow-limiting-view-of-the-world-and/) Duncan Smith > [By providing memorable social media customer service, companies not only create deeper connections with consumers, but they glean valuable insights on how to improve…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-jo-martin/by-providing-memorable-social-media-customer-service-companies-not/) [Amy Jo Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-jo-martin/) > [“As I worked with hundreds of gamers, it became apparent to me that many of these kids were looking for some sort of deeper…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholas-kardaras/as-i-worked-with-hundreds-of-gamers-it-became-apparent-to-me-that/) Nicholas Kardaras ## More by Joyce Vissell > [“An unresolved issue will be like a cancer with the potential to spread into other areas of your relationship, eroding the joy, lightness, love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-vissell/an-unresolved-issue-will-be-like-a-cancer-with-the-potential-to/) [Joyce Vissell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-vissell/) > [“It is not about how much money we make or how big and powerful our work appears to others, it is about the love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-vissell/it-is-not-about-how-much-money-we-make-or-how-big-and-powerful-our/) [Joyce Vissell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-vissell/) > [“Obviously, the choice between human selfishness and divine Selfishness is not about leaving or not leaving a relationship. More important are the day-to-day opportunities…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-vissell/obviously-the-choice-between-human-selfishness-and-divine-selfishness/) [Joyce Vissell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-vissell/) > [I remember a time when I was rejected for speaking my truth. The rejection hurt very much. 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Mansoor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-r-mansoor/) [Browse all 165 Counseling quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/counseling/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“We have been together for 40 years, married for 36. There have been three times in our relationship when we were unable to resolve an issue on our own. We used all the skill that we have and yet it was still unresolved. In those three times we sought professional help because there was a blind spot for each of us. The therapist was able to listen to both of us and help us come to a place of resolution that we both felt good about. I feel very grateful for that help. Most times we have been able to work things through on our own. Sometimes we can clear the issue in a matter of a few minutes, sometimes an hour and sometimes it can take several days. But we still keep working on it until we both say that we feel complete, we understand our own part and responsibility in the issue rather than simply blaming each other, are willing to go on, and there is an even deeper connection and sometimes even humor to the situation. 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