--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When I wrote 'We Were The Mulvaneys,' I…" description: "\"When I wrote 'We Were The Mulvaneys,' I was just old enough to look back upon my own family life and the lies of certain individuals close to me, with ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fc0/joyce-carol-oates-344_certain_when-i-wrote-we-were-the-mulvaneys-i-was_272512.png" --- # When I wrote 'We Were The Mulvaneys,' I was just old… ![“When I wrote 'We Were The Mulvaneys,' I was just old enough to look back upon my own family life and the lies of certain individuals close to me, with the detachment of time. I wanted to tell the truth about secrets: How much pain they give, yet how much relief, even happiness we may feel when at…” quote by Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fc0/joyce-carol-oates-344_certain_when-i-wrote-we-were-the-mulvaneys-i-was_272512.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fc0/joyce-carol-oates-344_certain_when-i-wrote-we-were-the-mulvaneys-i-was_272512.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fc0/joyce-carol-oates-344_certain_when-i-wrote-we-were-the-mulvaneys-i-was_272512.png) > “When I wrote 'We Were The Mulvaneys,' I was just old enough to look back upon my own family life and the lies of certain individuals close to me, with the detachment of time. I wanted to tell the truth about secrets: How much pain they give, yet how much relief, even happiness we may feel when at last the motive for secrecy has passed.” [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Reflecting on family secrets reveals both pain and relief; exposing truth can heal and bring unexpected happiness. **In simple terms:** Truth about secrets brings pain and relief. Key Takeaway Share truths to heal. Themes family secrets truth healing memory Mood introspective melancholic Type literary reflective When to use this quote - family therapy - writing - journaling - conflict mediation Key Concepts psychology memory conflict resolution Questions to Reflect On - What secrets could you safely share? - How does time change your view of past hurts? A Different Perspective Revealing secrets may damage relationships. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Detachment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/detachment/) [Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family/) [Family life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family-life/) [Giving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/giving/) [Happiness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/happiness/) [Individual](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/individual/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Lying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lying/) [Motive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/motive/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Relief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relief/) [Secrecy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/secrecy/) [Secret](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/secret/) [Secrets](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/secrets/) [Telling the truth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/telling-the-truth/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Truth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/truth/) ## Related quotes > [“The truth is that we all have secrets. Good and bad secrets we all have.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-okafor/the-truth-is-that-we-all-have-secrets-good-and-bad-secrets-we-all-have/) [DAVID OKAFOR](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-okafor/) > [“And that was the thing about truths and secrets. Sometimes the truth didn't need to be known. The lie was healthier than the truth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-l-armentrout/and-that-was-the-thing-about-truths-and-secrets-sometimes-the-truth/) [Jennifer L. Armentrout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-l-armentrout/) > [Be selective with whom you share your secrets, pain and sorrows. Because only few people truely care. Others are just curious !!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asif-masood/be-selective-with-whom-you-share-your-secrets-pain-and-sorrows/) Asif Masood > [Behind a beautiful smile is a thousands of secrets and pain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tiffany/behind-a-beautiful-smile-is-a-thousands-of-secrets-and-pain/) [Tiffany](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tiffany/) > [A puddle full of memories,secrets and pain..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tiffany-ramon/a-puddle-full-of-memories-secrets-and-pain/) Tiffany Ramon > [Literature, like magic, has always been about the handling of secrets, about the pain, the destruction, and the marvelous liberation that can result when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/literature-like-magic-has-always-been-about-the-handling-of-secrets/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [She examined me, she looked at me critically and said, "Why are you trying to starve yourself?" To keep myself from feeling love, from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/she-examined-me-she-looked-at-me-critically-and-said-why-are-you/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > [I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-sort-of-gave-up-on-this-whole-human-adventure-a-long-time-ago/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [“Subhuti, someone might fill innumerable worlds with the seven treasures and give all away in gifts of alms, but if any good man or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/siddh-rtha-gautama/subhuti-someone-might-fill-innumerable-worlds-with-the-seven/) [Siddhārtha Gautama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/siddh-rtha-gautama/) > [Plato dramatically puts the detachment of the philosopher from his time this way: to philosophize is to prepare to die.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-goldstein/plato-dramatically-puts-the-detachment-of-the-philosopher-from-his/) [Rebecca Goldstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-goldstein/) > [The appeal of the spectrally macabre is generally narrow because it demands from the reader a certain degree of imagination and a capacity for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-p-lovecraft/the-appeal-of-the-spectrally-macabre-is-generally-narrow-because-it/) [H. P. Lovecraft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-p-lovecraft/) > [No one, it has been said, will ever look at the Moon in the same way again. More significantly can one say that no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-morrow-lindbergh/no-one-it-has-been-said-will-ever-look-at-the-moon-in-the-same-way/) [Anne Morrow Lindbergh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-morrow-lindbergh/) > [“You need to belong to yourself, and let others belong to themselves too. You need to be free and detached from things and your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-eriksson/you-need-to-belong-to-yourself-and-let-others-belong-to-themselves/) [Charlotte Eriksson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-eriksson/) > [“Frequently, when I suggest to people that they detach from a person or problem, they recoil in horror. “Oh, no!” they say. “I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-beattie/frequently-when-i-suggest-to-people-that-they-detach-from-a-person-or/) [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) > [She watched the prairies the rivers, the towns slipping past at an untouchable distance below - and she noted that the sense of detachment…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ayn-rand/she-watched-the-prairies-the-rivers-the-towns-slipping-past-at-an/) [Ayn Rand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ayn-rand/) ## More by Joyce Carol Oates > [“A woman who has lost her husband is invalid, thus an invalid. In”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/a-woman-who-has-lost-her-husband-is-invalid-thus-an-invalid-in/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > [Running! If there's any activity happier, more exhilarating, more nourishing to the imagination, I can't think of what it might be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/running-if-there-s-any-activity-happier-more-exhilarating-more/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > [You need so much energy and encouragement to write that if someone says something negative, some of that energy goes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/you-need-so-much-energy-and-encouragement-to-write-that-if-someone/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > [I learned long ago that being Lewis Carroll was infinitely more exciting than being Alice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/i-learned-long-ago-that-being-lewis-carroll-was-infinitely-more/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > [Paradox: how do we know what we have failed to see because we have no language to express it, thus we cannot know that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/paradox-how-do-we-know-what-we-have-failed-to-see-because-we-have-no/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > [At all crucial moments in our lives we want to speak without knowing what to say.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/at-all-crucial-moments-in-our-lives-we-want-to-speak-without-knowing/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > [A writer’s life is in his work, and that is the place to find him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/a-writer-s-life-is-in-his-work-and-that-is-the-place-to-find-him/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > [The challenge is to resist circumstances. Any idiot can be happy in a happy place, but moral courage is required to be happy in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/the-challenge-is-to-resist-circumstances-any-idiot-can-be-happy-in-a/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > [The first sentence cant be written until the final sentence is written.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/the-first-sentence-cant-be-written-until-the-final-sentence-is-written/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > [“Did you know, Marianne: how by breaking the code that day, you broke it forever? For us all?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/did-you-know-marianne-how-by-breaking-the-code-that-day-you-broke-it/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > ['The Accursed' is very much a novel about social injustice as the consequence of the terrible, tragic division of classes - the exploitation not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/the-accursed-is-very-much-a-novel-about-social-injustice-as-the/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > [Keep a light, hopeful heart. But expect the worst.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/keep-a-light-hopeful-heart-but-expect-the-worst/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > [And this is the forbidden truth, the unspeakable taboo - that evil is not always repellent but frequently attractive; that it has the power…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/and-this-is-the-forbidden-truth-the-unspeakable-taboo-that-evil-is/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > [I don't think that writer's block exists really. I think that when you're trying to do something prematurely, it just won't come. Certain subjects…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/i-don-t-think-that-writer-s-block-exists-really-i-think-that-when-you/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) > [... such speculation is like staring into the hot white sun. you know the sun is there but you can't see a thing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/such-speculation-is-like-staring-into-the-hot-white-sun-you-know-the/) [Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) [Explore all 658 Joyce Carol Oates quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/) ## More Certain quotes > [I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-lusseyran/i-am-certain-that-children-always-know-more-than-they-are-able-to/) [Jacques Lusseyran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-lusseyran/) > [One can put some trust in the gratitude of a sovereign, and also in that of his family; under certain conditions, one can even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/otto-von-bismarck/one-can-put-some-trust-in-the-gratitude-of-a-sovereign-and-also-in/) [Otto von Bismarck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/otto-von-bismarck/) > [For successful education there must always be a certain freshness in the knowledge dealt with. It must be either new in itself or invested…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfred-north-whitehead/for-successful-education-there-must-always-be-a-certain-freshness-in/) [Alfred North Whitehead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfred-north-whitehead/) > [People don't always realize that a record is forever. It'll always be there under your name. You've got to be certain that it's right.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-iero/people-don-t-always-realize-that-a-record-is-forever-it-ll-always-be/) [Frank Iero](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-iero/) > [Faith gives you a certain structure and meaning to your life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/riffat-hassan/faith-gives-you-a-certain-structure-and-meaning-to-your-life/) Riffat Hassan > [I started out dancing on a reality TV show, but always with the intention of making my way over to film. I transitioned into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julianne-hough/i-started-out-dancing-on-a-reality-tv-show-but-always-with-the/) [Julianne Hough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julianne-hough/) > [One of the deepest and strangest of all human moods is the mood which will suddenly strike us perhaps in a garden at night,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/one-of-the-deepest-and-strangest-of-all-human-moods-is-the-mood-which/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [A dialogue is very important. It is a form of communication in which question and answer continue till a question is left without an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jiddu-krishnamurti/a-dialogue-is-very-important-it-is-a-form-of-communication-in-which/) [Jiddu Krishnamurti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jiddu-krishnamurti/) > [I mean those people who are interested in good government will certainly contribute in order to make certain there's some counter-balance to those whose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-breyer/i-mean-those-people-who-are-interested-in-good-government-will/) [Stephen Breyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-breyer/) > [Why do we love certain homes, and why do they seem to love us? It is the warmth of our individual hearts reflected in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-h-robsjohn-gibbings/why-do-we-love-certain-homes-and-why-do-they-seem-to-love-us-it-is/) T. H. 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