--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: He wouldn’t spend another standing in the…" description: "\"“He wouldn’t spend another standing in the darkness, hot and sick and shaking inside with a confused mess of feelings that weren’t worth analyzing. Tha..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e39/josh-lanyon-1827_matt_he-wouldn-t-spend-another-standing-in-th_3174538.png" --- # He wouldn’t spend another standing in the darkness, hot… ![“He wouldn’t spend another standing in the darkness, hot and sick and shaking inside with a confused mess of feelings that weren’t worth analyzing. That he shouldn’t have felt anyway. With Rachel gone it was like balancing on the edge of a cliff—and all the little wildflowers, the netting of grass…” quote by Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e39/josh-lanyon-1827_matt_he-wouldn-t-spend-another-standing-in-th_3174538.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e39/josh-lanyon-1827_matt_he-wouldn-t-spend-another-standing-in-th_3174538.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e39/josh-lanyon-1827_matt_he-wouldn-t-spend-another-standing-in-th_3174538.png) > ““He wouldn’t spend another standing in the darkness, hot and sick and shaking inside with a confused mess of feelings that weren’t worth analyzing. That he shouldn’t have felt anyway. With Rachel gone it was like balancing on the edge of a cliff—and all the little wildflowers, the netting of grass and roots that kept the cliff from sliding into the sea below, were gone. It was just Matt standing there looking down, waiting to fall. Even Rachel’s memory, the sweet recollection of all they had built, all they had shared, was no longer strong enough to fight gravity. From the moment he had looked across the wet grass and seen Nathan Doyle standing in the shadow of a stone saber-toothed tiger, something had changed inside him. Something battened down had torn free, like a sail taking its first deep breath of sea air. It terrified him. And at the same time it exhilarated him. Which terrified him all the more.”” [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. After loss, the protagonist feels on the brink of despair, yet a new, terrifying excitement emerges. **In simple terms:** Loss leads to despair and strange excitement. Key Takeaway Embrace change, even when frightening. Themes loss despair excitement transformation grief Mood melancholic intense Type literary emotional When to use this quote - grief counseling - creative writing - personal crisis Key Concepts psychological tension rebirth Questions to Reflect On - What does the cliff symbolize for you? - How can fear become a catalyst for growth? A Different Perspective Excitement may mask deeper pain. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Fall Rachel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fall-rachel-5791731/) [Feelings Weren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings-weren-1310132/) [Felt Rachel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/felt-rachel-5791729/) [Matt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/matt/) [Nathan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nathan/) [Rachel Gone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rachel-gone-5791728/) [Rachel Memory](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rachel-memory-5791730/) [Sea air](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sea-air/) [Strong enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/strong-enough/) ## Related quotes > [“Nathan kept trying to reassure him. “It doesn’t have to mean anything. Not to you. You can forget it, if you’d rather.” Matt listened…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/nathan-kept-trying-to-reassure-him-it-doesn-t-have-to-mean-anything/) [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) > [“I had come to realize that I didn't have any feelings towards the AT that weren't thoroughly contradictory. I was weary of the trail,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-bryson/i-had-come-to-realize-that-i-didn-t-have-any-feelings-towards-the-at/) [Bill Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-bryson/) > [Always hiding your feelings because they weren't returned a few times isn't a good lesson to take away from the experience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/always-hiding-your-feelings-because-they-weren-t-returned-a-few-times/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“She hated that he was here, messing up her life, making her want things she’d wanted for a long time, then pushed to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaci-burton/she-hated-that-he-was-here-messing-up-her-life-making-her-want-things/) [Jaci Burton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaci-burton/) > [“We might feel that we must demonstrate explicitly when we’re upset, or not upset. This perceived need may stem from our family of origin,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-katehakis/we-might-feel-that-we-must-demonstrate-explicitly-when-we-re-upset-or/) [Alexandra Katehakis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-katehakis/) > [We heard from young people around the country, and around the world, who felt like their voices weren't being heard and their feelings weren't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cynthia-germanotta/we-heard-from-young-people-around-the-country-and-around-the-world/) [Cynthia Germanotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cynthia-germanotta/) > [“Love at first sight, she wrote giddily to Millie. But of course such feelings weren't 'true' love (that was what she would feel for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-atkinson/love-at-first-sight-she-wrote-giddily-to-millie-but-of-course-such/) [Kate Atkinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-atkinson/) > [The more time I spent with him, the more I knew the feelings weren't going away.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/becca-fitzpatrick/the-more-time-i-spent-with-him-the-more-i-knew-the-feelings-weren-t/) [Becca Fitzpatrick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/becca-fitzpatrick/) > [“The heat intensified. My emotions were spinning out of control. The euphoria was maddening. Out of pure instinct, I pulled away and leaned against…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/markelle-grabo/the-heat-intensified-my-emotions-were-spinning-out-of-control-the/) [Markelle Grabo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/markelle-grabo/) > [“I have but one life to live for my country”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathan-hale/i-have-but-one-life-to-live-for-my-country/) [Nathan Hale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathan-hale/) > [“Oh, now my Erin, she'd smile down on me no matter where I walked." Grandpop smiled that little smile again. "But I'd be separated…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lora-leigh/oh-now-my-erin-she-d-smile-down-on-me-no-matter-where-i-walked/) [Lora Leigh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lora-leigh/) > [“What I am is a proud humanist. Atheism says what I don't accept, humanism says what I do." - Nathan Phelps”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathan-phelps/what-i-am-is-a-proud-humanist-atheism-says-what-i-don-t-accept/) [Nathan Phelps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathan-phelps/) > [Nathan u r my everything to me and I love u through thick and thin even thou we fight we always come back to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/nathan-u-r-my-everything-to-me-and-i-love-u-through-thick-and-thin/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“As long as he is around, I don't fit into your life." - Nathan”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/markelle-grabo/as-long-as-he-is-around-i-don-t-fit-into-your-life-nathan/) [Markelle Grabo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/markelle-grabo/) > [“And there, tucked in his soul, was the love he felt for Sabella since the moment he had seen her.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lora-leigh/and-there-tucked-in-his-soul-was-the-love-he-felt-for-sabella-since/) [Lora Leigh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lora-leigh/) ## More by Josh Lanyon > [“Emma sat up very straight in the saddle. Her eyes were huge, but she said bravely, “I could do it!” “I know you can.”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/emma-sat-up-very-straight-in-the-saddle-her-eyes-were-huge-but-she/) [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) > [“Max's scarred brow crinkled. He reached for the coffee mug on his desk. “Motive is tricky. See, what might be a good reason for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/max-s-scarred-brow-crinkled-he-reached-for-the-coffee-mug-on-his-desk/) [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) > [“It was nearly five before Jake walked in. He was sunburnt, wet, and smelled faintly of fish. Sexy as hell. Don’t ask me to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/it-was-nearly-five-before-jake-walked-in-he-was-sunburnt-wet-and/) [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) > [“Law enforcement hardened you. It made you cynical about people. Even people you loved. The people who deserved your unconditional trust.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/law-enforcement-hardened-you-it-made-you-cynical-about-people-even/) [josh lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) > [Drink your coffee -- people in Africa are sleeping.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/drink-your-coffee-people-in-africa-are-sleeping/) [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) > [“So you're like a ... an amateur sleuth?" "God no. I'm more like the hapless guys in those film-noir flicks we used to watch.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/so-you-re-like-a-an-amateur-sleuth-god-no-i-m-more-like-the-hapless/) [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) > [“ 'You know what I thought the first time I saw you?' 'No.' 'Point of no return.' ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/you-know-what-i-thought-the-first-time-i-saw-you-no-point-of-no-return/) [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) > [Jake's mouth found mine, his lips molding hot and soft to my own. His tongue tentatively tested the seal of my lips; I parted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/jake-s-mouth-found-mine-his-lips-molding-hot-and-soft-to-my-own-his/) [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) > [He needed fresh air and sunshine. A walk in the woods and afterward a good book to read by the fire. Yeah, that was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/he-needed-fresh-air-and-sunshine-a-walk-in-the-woods-and-afterward-a/) [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) > [I love you," Jake whispered. "Are you strong enough for this?" I made myself comfortable. Said over my shoulder, "Sure." "Would you tell me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/i-love-you-jake-whispered-are-you-strong-enough-for-this-i-made/) [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) > [Kit, you're forty. You look thirty. You act...well, never mind. You're carrying on like you think you're seventy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/kit-you-re-forty-you-look-thirty-you-act-well-never-mind-you-re/) [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) > [“That's one of the oldest tricks in the world, Adrien-with-an-e.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/that-s-one-of-the-oldest-tricks-in-the-world-adrien-with-an-e/) [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) > [“You're Professor Mills? The new one who teaches history?" As opposed to the old Professor Mills who preached overthrow of the government?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/you-re-professor-mills-the-new-one-who-teaches-history-as-opposed-to/) [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) > [He never lied to me. I just didn't ask the questions I didn't want to know the answers to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/he-never-lied-to-me-i-just-didn-t-ask-the-questions-i-didn-t-want-to/) [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) > [“If there was one thing I learned in the last twenty-four hours, it was how short life is – how long death – and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-lanyon/if-there-was-one-thing-i-learned-in-the-last-twenty-four-hours-it-was/) [Josh Lanyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) [Explore all 203 Josh Lanyon quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-lanyon/) ## More Matt quotes > [“You are my everything,” Julie said. “You are challenging, and difficult, and guarded. I love those things about you. You are fascinating, and complex,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-park/you-are-my-everything-julie-said-you-are-challenging-and-difficult/) [Jessica Park](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-park/) > [“If anybody deserves a happily ever after, Matt, it’s you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tammy-falkner/if-anybody-deserves-a-happily-ever-after-matt-it-s-you/) [Tammy Falkner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tammy-falkner/) > [“I still love you." (Joanie to Matt)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-still-love-you-joanie-to-matt/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“We don’t always get what we want out of life. It’s how we handle what’s left that matters. – Matt Jacobs (hero)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lori-borrill/we-don-t-always-get-what-we-want-out-of-life-it-s-how-we-handle-what/) [Lori Borrill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lori-borrill/) > [My brother Matt and I, we have a great relationship.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-hardy/my-brother-matt-and-i-we-have-a-great-relationship/) [Jeff Hardy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-hardy/) > [Matt and Mark (Hughes) used to pound each other on the farm as young boys.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-goldberg/matt-and-mark-hughes-used-to-pound-each-other-on-the-farm-as-young/) [Mike Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-goldberg/) > [Kurt Angle and Matt Hardy... I have so much respect for them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roddy-piper/kurt-angle-and-matt-hardy-i-have-so-much-respect-for-them/) [Roddy Piper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roddy-piper/) > [Matt Hardy came into ROH with open arms. Matt came into ROH ready to learn.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-cole/matt-hardy-came-into-roh-with-open-arms-matt-came-into-roh-ready-to/) [Adam Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-cole/) > [Matt Bonner. That's the legend right there. I was in fifth grade and watched him play at our local high school. Sold out. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/duncan-robinson/matt-bonner-that-s-the-legend-right-there-i-was-in-fifth-grade-and/) [Duncan Robinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/duncan-robinson/) > [I learned a lot during the Matt Brown fight.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-thompson/i-learned-a-lot-during-the-matt-brown-fight/) [Stephen Thompson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-thompson/) > [Matt LaFleur's a great coach.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sean-mcvay/matt-lafleur-s-a-great-coach/) [Sean McVay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sean-mcvay/) > [Its a waterfall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-doke/its-a-waterfall/) [Matt Doke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-doke/) > [“Always, Matt, always speaking to me from any mouth but your own. Don't you know that I love you? I see you under all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-pierce/always-matt-always-speaking-to-me-from-any-mouth-but-your-own-don-t/) [M. Pierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-pierce/) > [Broken Matt Hardy was born in Impact Wrestling and I think he had great memories.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-kim/broken-matt-hardy-was-born-in-impact-wrestling-and-i-think-he-had/) [Gail Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-kim/) > [It's a rarity in this sport that you really get a guy that's not a good person. I think we've found that in Matt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-serra/it-s-a-rarity-in-this-sport-that-you-really-get-a-guy-that-s-not-a/) [Matt Serra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-serra/) [Browse all 187 Matt quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/matt/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“He wouldn’t spend another standing in the darkness, hot and sick and shaking inside with a confused mess of feelings that weren’t worth analyzing. That he shouldn’t have felt anyway. With Rachel gone it was like balancing on the edge of a cliff—and all the little wildflowers, the netting of grass and roots that kept the cliff from sliding into the sea below, were gone. It was just Matt standing there looking down, waiting to fall. Even Rachel’s memory, the sweet recollection of all they had built, all they had shared, was no longer strong enough to fight gravity. From the moment he had looked across the wet grass and seen Nathan Doyle standing in the shadow of a stone saber-toothed tiger, something had changed inside him. Something battened down had torn free, like a sail taking its first deep breath of sea air. It terrified him. And at the same time it exhilarated him. 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