--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I look at her, wondering what it is about…" description: "\"“I look at her, wondering what it is about her that makes me want to simultaneously devote my life to her and get as far away from her as I can possibl..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64d/jonathan-tropper-1555_life_i-look-at-her-wondering-what-it-is-about_1758891.jpg" --- # I look at her, wondering what it is about her that makes… ![“I look at her, wondering what it is about her that makes me want to simultaneously devote my life to her and get as far away from her as I can possibly get.” quote by Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64d/jonathan-tropper-1555_life_i-look-at-her-wondering-what-it-is-about_1758891.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64d/jonathan-tropper-1555_life_i-look-at-her-wondering-what-it-is-about_1758891.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64d/jonathan-tropper-1555_life_i-look-at-her-wondering-what-it-is-about_1758891.jpg) > ““I look at her, wondering what it is about her that makes me want to simultaneously devote my life to her and get as far away from her as I can possibly get.”” [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker feels intense attraction and fear of intimacy, wanting both closeness and distance from the person they love. **In simple terms:** Love can feel like a push‑pull between desire and self‑preservation. Key Takeaway Recognize and balance longing with personal boundaries. Themes love conflict intimacy desire fear Mood conflicted reflective melancholic Type literary psychological romantic When to use this quote - romantic relationships - friendships - creative collaborations - personal growth Key Concepts attachment theory psychology of attraction self‑sabotage Questions to Reflect On - What drives your need for distance when you feel love? - How can you honor both closeness and autonomy? A Different Perspective Intense attraction can lead to unhealthy patterns if not reflected upon. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Look Wondering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/look-wondering-527292/) [Makes Want](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/makes-want/) [Simultaneously Devote](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/simultaneously-devote-1675217/) [Want Simultaneously](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/want-simultaneously-1675218/) [Wondering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wondering/) ## Related quotes > [We look at each other wondering what the other is thinking but we never say a thing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-matthews-band/we-look-at-each-other-wondering-what-the-other-is-thinking-but-we-2/) [Dave Matthews Band](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-matthews-band/) > [“Sometimes I imagine I can feel the earth pause in its rotation, can feel it pause and look at us as if wondering, Just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-bass/sometimes-i-imagine-i-can-feel-the-earth-pause-in-its-rotation-can/) [Rick Bass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-bass/) > [It's freeing to be that person who people turn around to look at, wondering who could have a laugh that loud.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lolly-adefope/it-s-freeing-to-be-that-person-who-people-turn-around-to-look-at/) [Lolly Adefope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lolly-adefope/) > [We look at each other, wondering what the other is thinking. But we never say a thing and these crimes between us grow deeper.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-matthews-band/we-look-at-each-other-wondering-what-the-other-is-thinking-but-we/) [Dave Matthews Band](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-matthews-band/) > [I get to thinking about my life, and it sometimes makes me want to make it interesting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cee-lo-green/i-get-to-thinking-about-my-life-and-it-sometimes-makes-me-want-to/) [Cee Lo Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cee-lo-green/) > [“This is what love does: It makes you want to rewrite the world. It makes you want to choose the characters, build the scenery,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/this-is-what-love-does-it-makes-you-want-to-rewrite-the-world-it/) [David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/) > [“You never made me weak," he said, giving her a little shake. "You make me strong." His big hands smoothed up her arms. "Just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-callihan/you-never-made-me-weak-he-said-giving-her-a-little-shake-you-make-me/) [Kristen Callihan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-callihan/) > [For me they go hand in hand. When I travel it makes me want to write, when I read it makes me want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-dalrymple/for-me-they-go-hand-in-hand-when-i-travel-it-makes-me-want-to-write/) [William Dalrymple](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-dalrymple/) > [Everytime someone brings up your name it just makes me want to cry knowing what we had was nothing and your happy with someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiara-leigh/everytime-someone-brings-up-your-name-it-just-makes-me-want-to-cry/) [Kiara Leigh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiara-leigh/) > [Find something that makes you want to give and give and give 'til it hurts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darius-rucker/find-something-that-makes-you-want-to-give-and-give-and-give-til-it/) [Darius Rucker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darius-rucker/) > [When you tell me to be good, it makes me want to be good,' I say, hearing the undisguised desire in my voice. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tammara-webber/when-you-tell-me-to-be-good-it-makes-me-want-to-be-good-i-say-hearing/) [Tammara Webber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tammara-webber/) > [Sometimes one hello makes you never want to say goodbye.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kara-angela/sometimes-one-hello-makes-you-never-want-to-say-goodbye/) [Kara Angela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kara-angela/) > [“Sometimes , Clark, you are pretty much the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning -Will Traynor <3”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/sometimes-clark-you-are-pretty-much-the-only-thing-that-makes-me-want/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [Because it's still a heartache. And nothing makes you want to die more than that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lee-nichols/because-it-s-still-a-heartache-and-nothing-makes-you-want-to-die-more/) [Lee Nichols](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lee-nichols/) > [Almost makes you want to go to jail out here, doesn't it?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-j-clinton/almost-makes-you-want-to-go-to-jail-out-here-doesn-t-it/) [William J. Clinton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-j-clinton/) ## More by Jonathan Tropper > [The thing about living alone is that it gives you a lot of time to think. You don't necessarily reach any conclusions, because wisdom…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/the-thing-about-living-alone-is-that-it-gives-you-a-lot-of-time-to/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [“Phillip, who is congenitally incapable of moderation,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/phillip-who-is-congenitally-incapable-of-moderation/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [“There's always a last time. If you could remember every last time, you'd never stop grieving.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/there-s-always-a-last-time-if-you-could-remember-every-last-time-you/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [“In my family, we don’t so much air our grievances as wallow in them. Anger and resentment are cumulative.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/in-my-family-we-don-t-so-much-air-our-grievances-as-wallow-in-them/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [“Do I really look so pathetic to all of you? Like I couldn't possibly meet someone on my own? Half the people in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/do-i-really-look-so-pathetic-to-all-of-you-like-i-couldn-t-possibly/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [I still enjoy the tactile sensation of holding a book. But when I need to read fast for work, I use the Kindle App…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/i-still-enjoy-the-tactile-sensation-of-holding-a-book-but-when-i-need/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [“Being gay is like taking a crash course in human nature,” he says. “Your first real glimpse at the dirty underbelly of routine social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/being-gay-is-like-taking-a-crash-course-in-human-nature-he-says-your/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [“It's just hard to see people from your past when your present is so cataclysmically fucked.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/it-s-just-hard-to-see-people-from-your-past-when-your-present-is-so/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [I occasionally experience the discomfort of people assuming my work is autobiographical.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/i-occasionally-experience-the-discomfort-of-people-assuming-my-work/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [“Few things are more pathetic than an unemployed man with a business card. P.15”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/few-things-are-more-pathetic-than-an-unemployed-man-with-a-business/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [“We knew marriage could be difficult in the same way that we knew there were starving children in Africa. It was a tragic fact…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/we-knew-marriage-could-be-difficult-in-the-same-way-that-we-knew/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [“attractive women in the early stages of disrepair, fighting to keep age at bay with facials, compression undergarments, and aggressively fashionable skirts bought off…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/attractive-women-in-the-early-stages-of-disrepair-fighting-to-keep/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [As far as rapprochements go, it's awkward and vague, but the advantage of being as emotionally inarticulate as we are is that it will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/as-far-as-rapprochements-go-it-s-awkward-and-vague-but-the-advantage/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [I'm a big action junkie. I grew up on the '80s action movies - the bad ones and the good ones.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/i-m-a-big-action-junkie-i-grew-up-on-the-80s-action-movies-the-bad/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) > [“shudders and seems to sink a bit further. “And the contractor is running two other jobs in the neighborhood. The Jacobsons, he’s redoing their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/shudders-and-seems-to-sink-a-bit-further-and-the-contractor-is/) [Jonathan Tropper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) [Explore all 222 Jonathan Tropper quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/) ## More Life quotes > [Of all the people who have affected my life and influenced the choices I've made, none has been more important than my father. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teddy-atlas/of-all-the-people-who-have-affected-my-life-and-influenced-the/) [Teddy Atlas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teddy-atlas/) > [What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions. Life is plurality, death is uniformity. By suppressing differences and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/octavio-paz/what-sets-worlds-in-motion-is-the-interplay-of-differences-their/) [Octavio Paz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/octavio-paz/) > [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Life works most perfectly when a reciprocal love relationship is in place between man and God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-moore/life-works-most-perfectly-when-a-reciprocal-love-relationship-is-in/) [Beth Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-moore/) > [I value the experiences that come with life too much to sit by and not put my full effort into them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-miller/i-value-the-experiences-that-come-with-life-too-much-to-sit-by-and/) [Jim Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-miller/) > [Entertainment is a sacred pursuit when done well. When done well, it raises the quality of human life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/entertainment-is-a-sacred-pursuit-when-done-well-when-done-well-it/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [“There's more to life than you can see. Your sight is limited.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tammy-kling/there-s-more-to-life-than-you-can-see-your-sight-is-limited/) [Tammy Kling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tammy-kling/) > [“I've spent much of my life calling my intuition "something wrong with me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deanna-l-lawlis/i-ve-spent-much-of-my-life-calling-my-intuition-something-wrong-with/) [Deanna L. Lawlis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deanna-l-lawlis/) > [When you do things they're absolutely right at that time for you and it can always teach you something about yourself. You can take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kym-marsh/when-you-do-things-they-re-absolutely-right-at-that-time-for-you-and/) [Kym Marsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kym-marsh/) > [The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people who insist…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/the-only-people-who-think-the-internet-is-a-calamity-are-people-whose/) [Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/) > [The one thing that I keep learning over and over again is that I don't know nothing. I mean, that's my life lesson.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dwayne-johnson/the-one-thing-that-i-keep-learning-over-and-over-again-is-that-i-don/) [Dwayne Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dwayne-johnson/) > [“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write,    To thank the God of nature, who conveyed    My soul to me, and with such care…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/this-tale-of-my-sore-troubled-life-i-write-to-thank-the-god-of-nature/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“The future is only an indifferent void no one cares about, but the past is filled with life, and its countenance is irritating, repellent,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/milan-kundera/the-future-is-only-an-indifferent-void-no-one-cares-about-but-the/) [Milan Kundera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/milan-kundera/) > [Two things revolutionised life: moving to the countryside and falling in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-love/two-things-revolutionised-life-moving-to-the-countryside-and-falling/) [Nick Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-love/) > [But just remember, life without me would be even more unbearable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/but-just-remember-life-without-me-would-be-even-more-unbearable/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) [Browse all 265,290 Life quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I look at her, wondering what it is about her that makes me want to simultaneously devote my life to her and get as far away from her as I can possibly get.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jonathan Tropper" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/i-look-at-her-wondering-what-it-is-about-her-that-makes-me-want-to/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Life" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/i-look-at-her-wondering-what-it-is-about-her-that-makes-me-want-to/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64d/jonathan-tropper-1555_life_i-look-at-her-wondering-what-it-is-about_1758891.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64d/jonathan-tropper-1555_life_i-look-at-her-wondering-what-it-is-about_1758891.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64d/jonathan-tropper-1555_life_i-look-at-her-wondering-what-it-is-about_1758891.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I look at her, wondering what it is about her that makes me want to simultaneously devote my life to her and…” — Jonathan Tropper", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Jonathan Tropper", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-tropper/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“I look at her, wondering what...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/i-look-at-her-wondering-what-it-is-about-her-that-makes-me-want-to/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-tropper/i-look-at-her-wondering-what-it-is-about-her-that-makes-me-want-to/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```