--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When I finally gave up any hope of doing…" description: "\"When I finally gave up any hope of doing anything representative of the American family, I actually seemed to have tapped into other people's weirdness..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62a/jonathan-franzen-801_american-family_when-i-finally-gave-up-any-hope-of-doing_798052.jpg" --- # When I finally gave up any hope of doing anything… ![“When I finally gave up any hope of doing anything representative of the American family, I actually seemed to have tapped into other people's weirdness in that way.” quote by Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62a/jonathan-franzen-801_american-family_when-i-finally-gave-up-any-hope-of-doing_798052.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62a/jonathan-franzen-801_american-family_when-i-finally-gave-up-any-hope-of-doing_798052.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62a/jonathan-franzen-801_american-family_when-i-finally-gave-up-any-hope-of-doing_798052.jpg) > “When I finally gave up any hope of doing anything representative of the American family, I actually seemed to have tapped into other people's weirdness in that way.” [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The narrator feels alienated from mainstream American ideals, finding solace in embracing unconventional, quirky perspectives of others. **In simple terms:** He abandons typical family expectations, connecting with oddities. Key Takeaway Embrace authenticity over conformity. Themes alienation identity nonconformity acceptance Mood reflective critical hopeful Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - family gatherings - social events - creative work Key Concepts American family cultural critique personal growth Questions to Reflect On - How does embracing weirdness affect his relationships? - What does this say about societal expectations? A Different Perspective His rejection may lead to isolation or misunderstanding. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [American family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/american-family/) [Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family/) [Family Actually](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family-actually-1105745/) [Gave Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gave-hope/) [Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hope/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [People Weirdness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people-weirdness-2508171/) [Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/) [Weirdness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/weirdness/) [Weirdness Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/weirdness-way-6116175/) ## Related quotes > [We're all little weird, and when we find those people whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/we-re-all-little-weird-and-when-we-find-those-people-whose-weirdness/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Life, in her experience, had a kind of velvet luster. You looked at yourself from one perspective and all you saw was weirdness. Move…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/life-in-her-experience-had-a-kind-of-velvet-luster-you-looked-at/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [But more than that, I wanted my wife and my family to see how I can actually play this game. They haven't seen me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-duval/but-more-than-that-i-wanted-my-wife-and-my-family-to-see-how-i-can/) [David Duval](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-duval/) > [A set should be like a family, except that you all actually like each other.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taika-waititi/a-set-should-be-like-a-family-except-that-you-all-actually-like-each/) [Taika Waititi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taika-waititi/) > [My family actually moved a lot growing up. I really only lived in one place every five or six years, and then we'd move…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-lambert/my-family-actually-moved-a-lot-growing-up-i-really-only-lived-in-one/) [David Lambert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-lambert/) > [My whole family actually, but my parents. I had such a normal and amazing childhood. I've been so lucky. My parents are cool and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kaley-cuoco/my-whole-family-actually-but-my-parents-i-had-such-a-normal-and/) [Kaley Cuoco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kaley-cuoco/) > [Wish I can go back to where when I was a little kid and actually had family that actually cared about me when someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/wish-i-can-go-back-to-where-when-i-was-a-little-kid-and-actually-had/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [New York City is crazy and beautiful and really close to my heart, and I've always had dear friends here - family, actually, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benedict-cumberbatch/new-york-city-is-crazy-and-beautiful-and-really-close-to-my-heart-and/) [Benedict Cumberbatch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benedict-cumberbatch/) > [My real last name is Flores, and Milian is actually my mom's maiden name. So it's not made up, which is cool; it runs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christina-milian/my-real-last-name-is-flores-and-milian-is-actually-my-mom-s-maiden/) [Christina Milian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christina-milian/) > [I live on the same street as my family, actually. I live across the road. I'm a real family person!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naomie-harris/i-live-on-the-same-street-as-my-family-actually-i-live-across-the/) [Naomie Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naomie-harris/) > [“Family is the most important possession you can ever have, and don’t be mistaken as to what family actually is. Family are those who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-brent/family-is-the-most-important-possession-you-can-ever-have-and-don-t/) [Robert Brent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-brent/) > [The Greek side of my family are actually all really fair.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tulisa/the-greek-side-of-my-family-are-actually-all-really-fair/) [Tulisa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tulisa/) > [My priority in life has always been family. I actually think children teach you to be a man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-essex/my-priority-in-life-has-always-been-family-i-actually-think-children/) [David Essex](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-essex/) > [“My series characters are like family to me. They actually talk to me, telling me what to write and what not to write. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/faye-kellerman/my-series-characters-are-like-family-to-me-they-actually-talk-to-me/) [Faye Kellerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/faye-kellerman/) > [I do not devalue the role of a maid or nanny, or the stereotypical roles that some members of our family have actually done…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gina-rodriguez/i-do-not-devalue-the-role-of-a-maid-or-nanny-or-the-stereotypical/) [Gina Rodriguez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gina-rodriguez/) ## More by Jonathan Franzen > [“The fundamental fact about all of us is that we’re alive for a while but will die before long. This fact is the real…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/the-fundamental-fact-about-all-of-us-is-that-we-re-alive-for-a-while/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [Fiction that isn't an author's personal adventure into the frightening or the unknown isn't worth writing for anything but money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/fiction-that-isn-t-an-author-s-personal-adventure-into-the/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“Parents are programmed to want the best for their kids, regardless of what they get in return. That's what love is supposed to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/parents-are-programmed-to-want-the-best-for-their-kids-regardless-of/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“Birds were what became of dinosaurs. Those mountains of flesh whose petrified bones were on display at the Museum of Natural History had done…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/birds-were-what-became-of-dinosaurs-those-mountains-of-flesh-whose/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“Can a better kind of fiction save the world? There’s always some tiny hope (strange things do happen), but the answer is almost certainly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/can-a-better-kind-of-fiction-save-the-world-there-s-always-some-tiny/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [A big part of me would be very proud never having anything of mine adapted, because if you want the real experience, there's only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/a-big-part-of-me-would-be-very-proud-never-having-anything-of-mine/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [Seriously, the world is changing so quickly that if you had any more than 80 years of change I dont see how you could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/seriously-the-world-is-changing-so-quickly-that-if-you-had-any-more/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“I'm saying the structure and f the entire culture is flawed, chip said. I'm saying the bureaucracy has arrogated the right to define certain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/i-m-saying-the-structure-and-f-the-entire-culture-is-flawed-chip-said/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [Integrity's a neutral value. Hyenas have integrity, too. They're pure hyena.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/integrity-s-a-neutral-value-hyenas-have-integrity-too-they-re-pure/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“An odd thing about beauty, however, is that it's absence tends not to arouse our sympathy as much as other forms of privation do.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/an-odd-thing-about-beauty-however-is-that-it-s-absence-tends-not-to/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [He became another data point in the American experiment of self-government, an experiment statistically skewed from the outset, because it wasn't the people with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/he-became-another-data-point-in-the-american-experiment-of-self/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“It was this motley band of modest peeps and plovers on the beach who reminded me of the human beings I loved best -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/it-was-this-motley-band-of-modest-peeps-and-plovers-on-the-beach-who/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“Alfred believed that the real and the true were a minority that the world was bent on exterminating.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/alfred-believed-that-the-real-and-the-true-were-a-minority-that-the/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“Imagine that human existence is defined by an Ache: the Ache of our not being, each of us, the center of the universe; of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/imagine-that-human-existence-is-defined-by-an-ache-the-ache-of-our/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [The problem was money and the indignities of life without it. Every stroller, cell phone, Yankees cap, and SUV he saw was a torment.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/the-problem-was-money-and-the-indignities-of-life-without-it-every/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) [Explore all 345 Jonathan Franzen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) ## More American family quotes > [In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/in-comparative-terms-there-s-no-poverty-in-america-by-a-long-shot/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [We want American families to feel more confident in life. We want the next generation to know that yes, the best days of this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-ryan/we-want-american-families-to-feel-more-confident-in-life-we-want-the/) [Paul Ryan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-ryan/) > [“At the very same time that we witnessed the explosion of white celebrity moms, and the outpouring of advice to a surveillance of middle-class…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-douglas/at-the-very-same-time-that-we-witnessed-the-explosion-of-white/) [Susan J. Douglas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-douglas/) > [To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/to-my-way-of-thinking-the-american-family-started-to-decline-when/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) > [“We are taken through the pursuit of the American dream, the establishment of the American family, and a smattering of suspense and intrigue.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikita-allgire/we-are-taken-through-the-pursuit-of-the-american-dream-the/) [Nikita Allgire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikita-allgire/) > [Now we have black and white elected officials working together. Today, we have gone beyond just passing laws. Now we have to create a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-lewis/now-we-have-black-and-white-elected-officials-working-together-today/) [John Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-lewis/) > [I was completely naive about the business of being an actor. My family didn't go to the theater or to the movies. We watched…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frances-mcdormand/i-was-completely-naive-about-the-business-of-being-an-actor-my-family/) [Frances McDormand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frances-mcdormand/) > [“...when President Clinton, on the anniversary of his election, spoke in the church in Tennessee where Martin Luther King, Jr., had delivered his last…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gertrude-himmelfarb/when-president-clinton-on-the-anniversary-of-his-election-spoke-in/) [Gertrude Himmelfarb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gertrude-himmelfarb/) > [We had a very upwardly mobile economy, and that peaked around the 1950s when the typical middle-class American family consisted of a father with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-schiff/we-had-a-very-upwardly-mobile-economy-and-that-peaked-around-the/) [Peter Schiff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-schiff/) > [The truth is that family values, as used by the American Family Association, Dan Quayle, and the southern Baptists, has nothing to do with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/morris-sullivan/the-truth-is-that-family-values-as-used-by-the-american-family/) [Morris Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/morris-sullivan/) > [When I was a kid I got so much help from the Church. When I was a kid, our family was so poor they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-woo/when-i-was-a-kid-i-got-so-much-help-from-the-church-when-i-was-a-kid/) [John Woo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-woo/) > [There is no institution more vital to our Nation's survival than the American family. Here the seeds of personal character are planted, the roots…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ronald-reagan/there-is-no-institution-more-vital-to-our-nation-s-survival-than-the/) [Ronald Reagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ronald-reagan/) > [You know, yeah, my dad is white - he's American. His family has been in this country for many, many, many years. And the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-zegler/you-know-yeah-my-dad-is-white-he-s-american-his-family-has-been-in/) [Rachel Zegler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-zegler/) > [I think health care reform is challenging and challenged. We will see what happens, but this is a difficult topic that touches every American…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roy-blunt/i-think-health-care-reform-is-challenging-and-challenged-we-will-see/) [Roy Blunt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roy-blunt/) > [You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/you-hear-a-lot-of-dialogue-on-the-death-of-the-american-family/) [Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/) [Browse all 155 American family quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/american-family/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When I finally gave up any hope of doing anything representative of the American family, I actually seemed to have tapped into other people's weirdness in that way.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jonathan Franzen" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/when-i-finally-gave-up-any-hope-of-doing-anything-representative-of/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "American family" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/when-i-finally-gave-up-any-hope-of-doing-anything-representative-of/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62a/jonathan-franzen-801_american-family_when-i-finally-gave-up-any-hope-of-doing_798052.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62a/jonathan-franzen-801_american-family_when-i-finally-gave-up-any-hope-of-doing_798052.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62a/jonathan-franzen-801_american-family_when-i-finally-gave-up-any-hope-of-doing_798052.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When I finally gave up any hope of doing anything representative of the American family, I actually seemed…” — Jonathan Franzen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Jonathan Franzen", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "When I finally gave up any...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/when-i-finally-gave-up-any-hope-of-doing-anything-representative-of/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/when-i-finally-gave-up-any-hope-of-doing-anything-representative-of/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```