--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Gary had hoped to find her more…" description: "\"“Gary had hoped to find her more cooperative. He already had one \"alternative\" sibling and he didn't need another. It frustrated him that people could ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f0/jonathan-franzen-801_life_gary-had-hoped-to-find-her-more-cooperat_2980998.jpg" --- # Gary had hoped to find her more cooperative. He already… ![“Gary had hoped to find her more cooperative. He already had one "alternative" sibling and he didn't need another. It frustrated him that people could so happily drop out of the world of conventional expectations; it felt like a unilateral rewriting, to his disadvantage, of the rules of life.” quote by Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f0/jonathan-franzen-801_life_gary-had-hoped-to-find-her-more-cooperat_2980998.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f0/jonathan-franzen-801_life_gary-had-hoped-to-find-her-more-cooperat_2980998.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f0/jonathan-franzen-801_life_gary-had-hoped-to-find-her-more-cooperat_2980998.jpg) > ““Gary had hoped to find her more cooperative. He already had one "alternative" sibling and he didn't need another. It frustrated him that people could so happily drop out of the world of conventional expectations; it felt like a unilateral rewriting, to his disadvantage, of the rules of life.”” [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The narrator resents societal expectations that force conformity, feeling rules are rewritten to his disadvantage. **In simple terms:** Society rewrites rules against some. Key Takeaway Challenge unfair expectations. Themes conformity freedom societal pressure Mood critical reflective Type philosophical advice When to use this quote - career choices - family planning - political activism Key Concepts individualism social norms Questions to Reflect On - What rules feel unjust to you? - How can you influence change? A Different Perspective Some rules protect collective well‑being. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Rules of life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rules-of-life/) ## Related quotes > [Walking into a show when I was 16, at that time when it was the No. 1 hit show, and replacing a character comes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-chalke/walking-into-a-show-when-i-was-16-at-that-time-when-it-was-the-no-1/) [Sarah Chalke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-chalke/) > [“They were all looking at Mary, and she felt more than ever like the new pupil at a school where they had high expectations…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-pullman/they-were-all-looking-at-mary-and-she-felt-more-than-ever-like-the/) [Philip Pullman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-pullman/) > [It seems to be a rule of life that the less qualified you are to give counsel, the more counsel you give.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margo-kaufman/it-seems-to-be-a-rule-of-life-that-the-less-qualified-you-are-to-give/) [Margo Kaufman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margo-kaufman/) > [“At some point we all play by the rules, whether it's the rules of all mankind, the rules of Father who is time, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnnie-dent-jr/at-some-point-we-all-play-by-the-rules-whether-it-s-the-rules-of-all/) [Johnnie Dent Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnnie-dent-jr/) > [He is a benefactor of mankind who contracts the great rules of life into the short sentences, that may be easily impressed on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-johnson/he-is-a-benefactor-of-mankind-who-contracts-the-great-rules-of-life/) [Samuel Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-johnson/) > [A basic rule of life for reporters is that you should spend your time talking with and learning about people who are not sending…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-fallows/a-basic-rule-of-life-for-reporters-is-that-you-should-spend-your-time/) [James Fallows](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-fallows/) > [When you raise a child, you don't sit down and take all the rules of life, write them into a big catalog, and start…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sebastian-thrun/when-you-raise-a-child-you-don-t-sit-down-and-take-all-the-rules-of/) [Sebastian Thrun](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sebastian-thrun/) > [If thou takest virtue for the rule of life, and valuest thyself upon acting in all things comfortably thereto, thou wilt have no cause…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miguel-de-cervantes/if-thou-takest-virtue-for-the-rule-of-life-and-valuest-thyself-upon/) [Miguel de Cervantes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miguel-de-cervantes/) > [There are 3 simple rules in life: 1. If you dont go after what you want, youll never have it. 2. If you dont…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/there-are-3-simple-rules-in-life-1-if-you-dont-go-after-what-you-want/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Two basic rules of life are: 1) Change is inevitable. 2) Everybody resists change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-edwards-deming/two-basic-rules-of-life-are-1-change-is-inevitable-2-everybody/) [W. Edwards Deming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-edwards-deming/) > [Friends are helpful not only because they will listen to us, but because they will laugh at us; Through them we learn a little…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/will-durant/friends-are-helpful-not-only-because-they-will-listen-to-us-but/) [Will Durant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/will-durant/) > [There's no one who has more authority over my life than me. And I can learn things myself and how to communicate to other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erika-christensen/there-s-no-one-who-has-more-authority-over-my-life-than-me-and-i-can/) [Erika Christensen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erika-christensen/) > [Religion should be the rule of life, not a casual incident in it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-disraeli/religion-should-be-the-rule-of-life-not-a-casual-incident-in-it/) [Benjamin Disraeli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-disraeli/) > [I found something! Courage--just that; courage as a rule of life and something to cling to always.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/i-found-something-courage-just-that-courage-as-a-rule-of-life-and/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [Actions have consequences... first rule of life. And the second rule is this - you are the only one responsible for your own actions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/actions-have-consequences-first-rule-of-life-and-the-second-rule-is/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Jonathan Franzen > [“The fundamental fact about all of us is that we’re alive for a while but will die before long. This fact is the real…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/the-fundamental-fact-about-all-of-us-is-that-we-re-alive-for-a-while/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [Fiction that isn't an author's personal adventure into the frightening or the unknown isn't worth writing for anything but money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/fiction-that-isn-t-an-author-s-personal-adventure-into-the/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“Parents are programmed to want the best for their kids, regardless of what they get in return. That's what love is supposed to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/parents-are-programmed-to-want-the-best-for-their-kids-regardless-of/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“Birds were what became of dinosaurs. Those mountains of flesh whose petrified bones were on display at the Museum of Natural History had done…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/birds-were-what-became-of-dinosaurs-those-mountains-of-flesh-whose/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“Can a better kind of fiction save the world? There’s always some tiny hope (strange things do happen), but the answer is almost certainly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/can-a-better-kind-of-fiction-save-the-world-there-s-always-some-tiny/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [A big part of me would be very proud never having anything of mine adapted, because if you want the real experience, there's only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/a-big-part-of-me-would-be-very-proud-never-having-anything-of-mine/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [Seriously, the world is changing so quickly that if you had any more than 80 years of change I dont see how you could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/seriously-the-world-is-changing-so-quickly-that-if-you-had-any-more/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“I'm saying the structure and f the entire culture is flawed, chip said. I'm saying the bureaucracy has arrogated the right to define certain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/i-m-saying-the-structure-and-f-the-entire-culture-is-flawed-chip-said/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [Integrity's a neutral value. Hyenas have integrity, too. They're pure hyena.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/integrity-s-a-neutral-value-hyenas-have-integrity-too-they-re-pure/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“An odd thing about beauty, however, is that it's absence tends not to arouse our sympathy as much as other forms of privation do.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/an-odd-thing-about-beauty-however-is-that-it-s-absence-tends-not-to/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [He became another data point in the American experiment of self-government, an experiment statistically skewed from the outset, because it wasn't the people with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/he-became-another-data-point-in-the-american-experiment-of-self/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“It was this motley band of modest peeps and plovers on the beach who reminded me of the human beings I loved best -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/it-was-this-motley-band-of-modest-peeps-and-plovers-on-the-beach-who/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“Alfred believed that the real and the true were a minority that the world was bent on exterminating.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/alfred-believed-that-the-real-and-the-true-were-a-minority-that-the/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“Imagine that human existence is defined by an Ache: the Ache of our not being, each of us, the center of the universe; of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/imagine-that-human-existence-is-defined-by-an-ache-the-ache-of-our/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [The problem was money and the indignities of life without it. Every stroller, cell phone, Yankees cap, and SUV he saw was a torment.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/the-problem-was-money-and-the-indignities-of-life-without-it-every/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) [Explore all 345 Jonathan Franzen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) ## More Life quotes > [Of all the people who have affected my life and influenced the choices I've made, none has been more important than my father. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teddy-atlas/of-all-the-people-who-have-affected-my-life-and-influenced-the/) [Teddy Atlas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teddy-atlas/) > [What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions. Life is plurality, death is uniformity. By suppressing differences and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/octavio-paz/what-sets-worlds-in-motion-is-the-interplay-of-differences-their/) [Octavio Paz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/octavio-paz/) > [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Life works most perfectly when a reciprocal love relationship is in place between man and God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-moore/life-works-most-perfectly-when-a-reciprocal-love-relationship-is-in/) [Beth Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-moore/) > [I value the experiences that come with life too much to sit by and not put my full effort into them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-miller/i-value-the-experiences-that-come-with-life-too-much-to-sit-by-and/) [Jim Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-miller/) > [Entertainment is a sacred pursuit when done well. When done well, it raises the quality of human life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/entertainment-is-a-sacred-pursuit-when-done-well-when-done-well-it/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [“There's more to life than you can see. Your sight is limited.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tammy-kling/there-s-more-to-life-than-you-can-see-your-sight-is-limited/) [Tammy Kling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tammy-kling/) > [“I've spent much of my life calling my intuition "something wrong with me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deanna-l-lawlis/i-ve-spent-much-of-my-life-calling-my-intuition-something-wrong-with/) Deanna L. Lawlis > [When you do things they're absolutely right at that time for you and it can always teach you something about yourself. You can take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kym-marsh/when-you-do-things-they-re-absolutely-right-at-that-time-for-you-and/) [Kym Marsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kym-marsh/) > [The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people who insist…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/the-only-people-who-think-the-internet-is-a-calamity-are-people-whose/) [Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/) > [The one thing that I keep learning over and over again is that I don't know nothing. I mean, that's my life lesson.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dwayne-johnson/the-one-thing-that-i-keep-learning-over-and-over-again-is-that-i-don/) [Dwayne Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dwayne-johnson/) > [“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write,    To thank the God of nature, who conveyed    My soul to me, and with such care…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/this-tale-of-my-sore-troubled-life-i-write-to-thank-the-god-of-nature/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“The future is only an indifferent void no one cares about, but the past is filled with life, and its countenance is irritating, repellent,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/milan-kundera/the-future-is-only-an-indifferent-void-no-one-cares-about-but-the/) [Milan Kundera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/milan-kundera/) > [Two things revolutionised life: moving to the countryside and falling in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-love/two-things-revolutionised-life-moving-to-the-countryside-and-falling/) [Nick Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-love/) > [But just remember, life without me would be even more unbearable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/but-just-remember-life-without-me-would-be-even-more-unbearable/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) [Browse all 265,290 Life quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Gary had hoped to find her more cooperative. He already had one \"alternative\" sibling and he didn't need another. It frustrated him that people could so happily drop out of the world of conventional expectations; it felt like a unilateral rewriting, to his disadvantage, of the rules of life.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jonathan Franzen" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/gary-had-hoped-to-find-her-more-cooperative-he-already-had-one/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Life" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/gary-had-hoped-to-find-her-more-cooperative-he-already-had-one/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f0/jonathan-franzen-801_life_gary-had-hoped-to-find-her-more-cooperat_2980998.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f0/jonathan-franzen-801_life_gary-had-hoped-to-find-her-more-cooperat_2980998.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f0/jonathan-franzen-801_life_gary-had-hoped-to-find-her-more-cooperat_2980998.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Gary had hoped to find her more cooperative. He already had one \"alternative\" sibling and he didn't need…” — Jonathan Franzen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Jonathan Franzen", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“Gary had hoped to find her...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/gary-had-hoped-to-find-her-more-cooperative-he-already-had-one/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/gary-had-hoped-to-find-her-more-cooperative-he-already-had-one/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```