--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Underneath our nice, friendly facades…" description: "\"Underneath our nice, friendly facades there is great unease. If I were to scratch below the surface of anyone I would find fear, pain, and anxiety runn..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d6f/joko-beck-18408_anxiety_underneath-our-nice-friendly-facades-the_2595287.png" --- # Underneath our nice, friendly facades there is great… ![“Underneath our nice, friendly facades there is great unease. If I were to scratch below the surface of anyone I would find fear, pain, and anxiety running amok. We all have ways to cover them up. We overeat, over-drink, overwork; we watch too much television.” quote by Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d6f/joko-beck-18408_anxiety_underneath-our-nice-friendly-facades-the_2595287.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d6f/joko-beck-18408_anxiety_underneath-our-nice-friendly-facades-the_2595287.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d6f/joko-beck-18408_anxiety_underneath-our-nice-friendly-facades-the_2595287.png) > “Underneath our nice, friendly facades there is great unease. If I were to scratch below the surface of anyone I would find fear, pain, and anxiety running amok. We all have ways to cover them up. We overeat, over-drink, overwork; we watch too much television.” [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People hide deep anxieties behind pleasant exteriors, using coping habits like overeating or binge-watching to avoid confronting pain. **In simple terms:** Everyone masks inner fear with distractions. Key Takeaway Identify and address the root causes of your coping habits. Themes mental health self-awareness coping authenticity Mood reflective empathetic Type self-help psychological When to use this quote - stress management - addiction recovery - relationship counseling - personal development Key Concepts psychology behavioral patterns Questions to Reflect On - What habit hides your true feelings? - How can you safely confront underlying anxiety? A Different Perspective Masking can become entrenched, making change hard. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Anxiety](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anxiety/) [Below the surface](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/below-the-surface/) [Drink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/drink/) [Facade](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/facade/) [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [Friendly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendly/) [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) [Great Unease](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/great-unease-1895570/) [Nice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nice/) [Overwork](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/overwork/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Running](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/running/) [Scratches](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/scratches/) [Surface](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/surface/) [Surface Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/surface-fear-1895569/) [Television](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/television/) [Too much](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/too-much/) [Unease](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unease/) [Unease Scratch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unease-scratch-1895571/) [Watches](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/watches/) [Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/) ## Related quotes > [Americans are so often thrown by Japan. It looks familiar but, an inch below the surface, it isn't anything like the West at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cathy-davidson/americans-are-so-often-thrown-by-japan-it-looks-familiar-but-an-inch/) [Cathy Davidson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cathy-davidson/) > [Vermont tradition is based on the idea that group life should leave each person as free as possible to arrange his own life. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-canfield-fisher/vermont-tradition-is-based-on-the-idea-that-group-life-should-leave/) [Dorothy Canfield Fisher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-canfield-fisher/) > [Below the surface stream, shallow and light, Of what we say and feel below the stream, As light, of what we think we feel,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-arnold/below-the-surface-stream-shallow-and-light-of-what-we-say-and-feel/) [Matthew Arnold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-arnold/) > [Many fires burn below the surface.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/empedocles/many-fires-burn-below-the-surface/) [Empedocles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/empedocles/) > [The more familiar people are with the ecosystem that lives below the surface - invisible until you're actually in the ocean - the more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-bowermaster/the-more-familiar-people-are-with-the-ecosystem-that-lives-below-the/) [Jon Bowermaster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-bowermaster/) > [Now imagine that you are going beneath the surface of the ocean. 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And too often I would sink below the surface. So armies disappear under sand. And there was her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-ondaatje/women-want-everything-of-a-lover-and-too-often-i-would-sink-below-the/) [Michael Ondaatje](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-ondaatje/) > [My photographs don't go below the surface. They don't go below anything. They're readings of the surface. I have great faith in surfaces. A…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-avedon/my-photographs-don-t-go-below-the-surface-they-don-t-go-below/) [Richard Avedon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-avedon/) > [Fiona has the same glacial beauty of an iceburg, but unlike the iceburg she has absolutely nothing below the surface.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roald-dahl/fiona-has-the-same-glacial-beauty-of-an-iceburg-but-unlike-the/) [Roald Dahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roald-dahl/) > [...Was it because a lot of the heat went into melting Arctic sea ice or parts of Greenland and Antarctica, and other glaciers? Was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-e-trenberth/was-it-because-a-lot-of-the-heat-went-into-melting-arctic-sea-ice-or/) [Kevin E. Trenberth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-e-trenberth/) > [“Philosophy, if it cannot answer so many questions as we could wish, has at least the power of asking questions which increase the interest…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bertrand-russell/philosophy-if-it-cannot-answer-so-many-questions-as-we-could-wish-has/) [Bertrand Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bertrand-russell/) > [Observance of customs and laws can very easily be a cloak for a lie so subtle that our fellow human beings are unable to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-jung/observance-of-customs-and-laws-can-very-easily-be-a-cloak-for-a-lie/) [Carl Jung](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-jung/) > [She was doing that thing some people do when they act nice and chipper and interested, while just below the surface they’re thinking really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cecily-von-ziegesar/she-was-doing-that-thing-some-people-do-when-they-act-nice-and/) [Cecily von Ziegesar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cecily-von-ziegesar/) ## More by Joko Beck > [Meditation practice is simply moving from a life of hurting myself and others to a life of not hurting myself and others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joko-beck/meditation-practice-is-simply-moving-from-a-life-of-hurting-myself/) [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) > [If I were to tell you that your life is already perfect, whole, and complete just as it is, you would think I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joko-beck/if-i-were-to-tell-you-that-your-life-is-already-perfect-whole-and/) [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) > [We tend to run our whole life trying to avoid all that hurts or displeases us, noticing the objects, people, or situations that we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joko-beck/we-tend-to-run-our-whole-life-trying-to-avoid-all-that-hurts-or/) [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) > [We are just living this moment; we don't have to live 150,000 moments at once. We are only living one. That's why I say…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joko-beck/we-are-just-living-this-moment-we-don-t-have-to-live-150-000-moments/) [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) > [Practice can be stated very simply. It is moving from a life of hurting myself and others to a life of not hurting myself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joko-beck/practice-can-be-stated-very-simply-it-is-moving-from-a-life-of/) [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) > [We have to face the pain we have been running from. In fact, we need to learn to rest in it and let its…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joko-beck/we-have-to-face-the-pain-we-have-been-running-from-in-fact-we-need-to/) [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) > [There is one thing in life that you can always rely on: life being as it is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joko-beck/there-is-one-thing-in-life-that-you-can-always-rely-on-life-being-as/) [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) > [You cannot avoid paradise. You can only avoid seeking it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joko-beck/you-cannot-avoid-paradise-you-can-only-avoid-seeking-it/) [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) > [But opinions, judgments, memories, dreaming about the future—ninety percent of the thoughts spinning around in our heads have no essential reality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joko-beck/but-opinions-judgments-memories-dreaming-about-the-future-ninety/) [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) > [My dog doesn't worry about the meaning of life. She may worry if she doesn't get her breakfast, but she doesn't sit around worrying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joko-beck/my-dog-doesn-t-worry-about-the-meaning-of-life-she-may-worry-if-she/) [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) > [An old Zen rule of thumb is not to answer until one has been asked three times.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joko-beck/an-old-zen-rule-of-thumb-is-not-to-answer-until-one-has-been-asked/) [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) > [In spiritual maturity, the opposite of injustice is not justice but compassion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joko-beck/in-spiritual-maturity-the-opposite-of-injustice-is-not-justice-but/) [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) > [We 'rid ourselves of conceptual thought' when, by persistent observation, we recognize the unreality of our self-centered thoughts. Then we can remain dispassionate and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joko-beck/we-rid-ourselves-of-conceptual-thought-when-by-persistent-observation/) [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) > [None of us would choose to be Sisyphus; yet in a sense, we all are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joko-beck/none-of-us-would-choose-to-be-sisyphus-yet-in-a-sense-we-all-are/) [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) > [All I can be is who I am right now; I can experience that and work with it. That's all I can do. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joko-beck/all-i-can-be-is-who-i-am-right-now-i-can-experience-that-and-work/) [Joko Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) [Explore all 35 Joko Beck quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joko-beck/) ## More Anxiety quotes > [“Anything that you find yourself worrying about regularly may find you suddenly wanting unrealistic changes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nagisa-tatsumi/anything-that-you-find-yourself-worrying-about-regularly-may-find-you/) [Nagisa Tatsumi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nagisa-tatsumi/) > [Bein Crazy is the least of my worries.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kerouac/bein-crazy-is-the-least-of-my-worries/) [Jack Kerouac](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kerouac/) > [The answer to deep anxiety is the deep adoration of God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-voskamp/the-answer-to-deep-anxiety-is-the-deep-adoration-of-god/) [Ann Voskamp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-voskamp/) > [“Fear of seeing a police car pull into the drive. Fear of falling asleep at night. Fear of not falling asleep. Fear of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/raymond-carver/fear-of-seeing-a-police-car-pull-into-the-drive-fear-of-falling/) [Raymond Carver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/raymond-carver/) > [I get nervous when I don't get nervous. If I'm nervous I know I'm going to have a good show.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beyonce-knowles/i-get-nervous-when-i-don-t-get-nervous-if-i-m-nervous-i-know-i-m/) [Beyonce Knowles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beyonce-knowles/) > [“Every invention comes through anxiousness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rakesh-wadhwani/every-invention-comes-through-anxiousness/) [Rakesh Wadhwani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rakesh-wadhwani/) > [“Do Not Be Anxious 25 e “Therefore I tell you,  f do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/do-not-be-anxious-25-e-therefore-i-tell-you-f-do-not-be-anxious-about/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Nothing happens on its own, you have to make things happen. If you really want to come out of your stressful situation than you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/subodh-gupta/nothing-happens-on-its-own-you-have-to-make-things-happen-if-you/) [Subodh Gupta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/subodh-gupta/) > [“I guess if we're talking about my anxiety, the even truthier truth is it started way before that.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-winfrey/i-guess-if-we-re-talking-about-my-anxiety-the-even-truthier-truth-is/) [Kerry Winfrey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-winfrey/) > [I was a very good student. Procrastinating gives me anxiety, and getting a B really ticked me off. 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