--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: No. Really. I've thought about it a lot…" description: "\"“No. Really. I've thought about it a lot. You learn to live with it, with them. Because they do stay with you, even if they're not living, breathing pe..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a86/jojo-moyes-1045_grief_no-really-i-ve-thought-about-it-a-lot-yo_1374505.jpg" --- # No. Really. I've thought about it a lot. You learn to live… ![“No. Really. I've thought about it a lot. You learn to live with it, with them. Because they do stay with you, even if they're not living, breathing people any more. It's not the same crushing grief you felt at first, the kind that swamps you, and makes you want to cry in the wrong places and get…” quote by Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a86/jojo-moyes-1045_grief_no-really-i-ve-thought-about-it-a-lot-yo_1374505.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a86/jojo-moyes-1045_grief_no-really-i-ve-thought-about-it-a-lot-yo_1374505.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a86/jojo-moyes-1045_grief_no-really-i-ve-thought-about-it-a-lot-yo_1374505.jpg) > ““No. Really. I've thought about it a lot. You learn to live with it, with them. Because they do stay with you, even if they're not living, breathing people any more. It's not the same crushing grief you felt at first, the kind that swamps you, and makes you want to cry in the wrong places and get irrationally angry with all the idiots who are still alive when the person you love is dead. It's just something you learn to accommodate. Like adapting around a whole. I don't know. It's like you become... a doughnut instead of a bun.”” [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Grief evolves from overwhelming sorrow to a quieter, ongoing adaptation, allowing life to continue alongside loss. **In simple terms:** Grief changes over time, becoming manageable. Key Takeaway Accept and adapt to lasting loss. Themes grief adaptation resilience loss healing Mood sad reflective hopeful Type personal philosophical When to use this quote - daily life after a death - supporting bereaved friends - long‑term caregiving - personal coping strategies Key Concepts psychology emotional adjustment continuity Questions to Reflect On - How can you support someone still in the early stages of grief? - What small adjustments help you honor a loved one while living? A Different Perspective Some may never fully move past the initial pain, remaining stuck in grief. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) [Grief and loss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief-and-loss/) [Loss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loss/) [Person You Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/person-you-love/) [Thought](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thought/) [Wrong place](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wrong-place/) ## Related quotes > [“Okay. Well. Here’s a real question. How long do you think it takes to get over someone dying? Someone you really loved, I mean.”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/okay-well-here-s-a-real-question-how-long-do-you-think-it-takes-to/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [“Grief felt fourth-dimensional, abstract, faintly familiar. I was cold.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-porter/grief-felt-fourth-dimensional-abstract-faintly-familiar-i-was-cold/) [Max Porter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-porter/) > [“It was heartfelt, it was heartbreaking. It was extreme joy, it was bone-crushing grief. It was fiery hot, it was icy-cold. It was true…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/s-c-stephens/it-was-heartfelt-it-was-heartbreaking-it-was-extreme-joy-it-was-bone/) [S.C. Stephens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/s-c-stephens/) > [“Just so you know, I realize that what happened is not in any way okay, but I think we're going to have to pretend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-buxbaum/just-so-you-know-i-realize-that-what-happened-is-not-in-any-way-okay/) [Julie Buxbaum](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-buxbaum/) > [I am the type that cannot stay put in living in the past and solely in the past. It's not healthy and it doesn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-anselmo/i-am-the-type-that-cannot-stay-put-in-living-in-the-past-and-solely/) [Phil Anselmo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-anselmo/) > [Those who want things always to stay the same are not living in the real world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-wintour/those-who-want-things-always-to-stay-the-same-are-not-living-in-the/) [Anna Wintour](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-wintour/) > [“A place to live is not a place to stay A place to stay is not a living place”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/munia-khan/a-place-to-live-is-not-a-place-to-stay-a-place-to-stay-is-not-a/) [Munia Khan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/munia-khan/) > [“The night felt like it had gone by so fast, yet every second of it was bright and burned into my mind, and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-emerson/the-night-felt-like-it-had-gone-by-so-fast-yet-every-second-of-it-was/) [Kevin Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-emerson/) > [“Paul. Look at me. You need to understand this. The worst thing that could have happened to me already happened." He looks up. She…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/paul-look-at-me-you-need-to-understand-this-the-worst-thing-that/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [For grief is felt not so much for the want of what we have never known, as for the loss of that to which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pericles/for-grief-is-felt-not-so-much-for-the-want-of-what-we-have-never/) [Pericles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pericles/) > [“So perhaps it was her grief I felt as I gazed on this child not mine, and not even much of a child anymore.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-choi/so-perhaps-it-was-her-grief-i-felt-as-i-gazed-on-this-child-not-mine/) [Susan Choi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-choi/) > [“Progress? You call this progress?” I was almost shouting now, anger spilled out of me as if I could no longer contain it. “If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/s-j-watson/progress-you-call-this-progress-i-was-almost-shouting-now-anger/) [S.J. Watson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/s-j-watson/) > [There is no more ridiculous custom than the one that makes you express sympathy once and for all on a given day to a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/there-is-no-more-ridiculous-custom-than-the-one-that-makes-you/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/no-one-ever-told-me-that-grief-felt-so-like-fear-i-am-not-afraid-but/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I remember the ache I used to feel when she got too close, how it felt like grief, how it felt like a loss,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-ness/i-remember-the-ache-i-used-to-feel-when-she-got-too-close-how-it-felt/) [Patrick Ness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-ness/) ## More by Jojo Moyes > [“How was she supposed to bear the prospect of never seeing him again? Never seeing his face light up simply because she had walked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/how-was-she-supposed-to-bear-the-prospect-of-never-seeing-him-again/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [“I had a vague memory of the intensity of teenage female relationships; more of a passion than a normal friendship.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/i-had-a-vague-memory-of-the-intensity-of-teenage-female-relationships/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [“I want him to live if HE wants to live. If he doesn't, then by forcing him to carry on, you, me… we become…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/i-want-him-to-live-if-he-wants-to-live-if-he-doesn-t-then-by-forcing/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [How is it possible to exist with so much pain?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/how-is-it-possible-to-exist-with-so-much-pain/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [“I often think that the ability to earn a living by doing the thing one loves must be one of life's greatest gifts.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/i-often-think-that-the-ability-to-earn-a-living-by-doing-the-thing/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [“Nobody ever says "sweet girl" about someone they were in love with. It's like the whole "we'll still be friends" thing. It means you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/nobody-ever-says-sweet-girl-about-someone-they-were-in-love-with-it-s/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [“Sometimes , Clark, you are pretty much the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning -Will Traynor <3”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/sometimes-clark-you-are-pretty-much-the-only-thing-that-makes-me-want/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [“I liked the exoticism his travels gave him, the unknownness. He had blown in with the soft breezes of a wider world, and it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/i-liked-the-exoticism-his-travels-gave-him-the-unknownness-he-had/) [jojo moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [“Good to meet you, Patrick," Will said. "And thank you for the...advice." "Oh, just trying to help my girlfriend get the best out of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/good-to-meet-you-patrick-will-said-and-thank-you-for-the-advice-oh/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [“How could I explain to this man how much I wanted to work? Did he have the slightest idea how much I missed my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/how-could-i-explain-to-this-man-how-much-i-wanted-to-work-did-he-have/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [If I don't cry while writing a key emotional scene, my gut feeling is it's failed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/if-i-don-t-cry-while-writing-a-key-emotional-scene-my-gut-feeling-is/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [“Still watches too much porn, though. You can tell.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/still-watches-too-much-porn-though-you-can-tell/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [“Four hours later Liv wakes in a box room with an Arsenal duet cover and a head that thumps so hard she has to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/four-hours-later-liv-wakes-in-a-box-room-with-an-arsenal-duet-cover/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [“It was a terrible thing to discover you no longer wanted the life that stretched out ahead of you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/it-was-a-terrible-thing-to-discover-you-no-longer-wanted-the-life/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [You cut yourself off from all sorts of experiences because you tell yourself you are ‘not that sort of person’” “But, I’m not.” “How…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/you-cut-yourself-off-from-all-sorts-of-experiences-because-you-tell/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) [Explore all 274 Jojo Moyes quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) ## More Grief quotes > [“...they had lived, they'd lived intensely. But no matter how deeply you live, it comes to this in the end: one of you will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-morton/they-had-lived-they-d-lived-intensely-but-no-matter-how-deeply-you/) [Brian Morton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-morton/) > [“You must understand the pain and grief of losing someone is nothing more than a function of survival.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-cooper/you-must-understand-the-pain-and-grief-of-losing-someone-is-nothing/) [Steven Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-cooper/) > [You felt a deep sorrow, the kind of melancholy you feel when you're in a beautiful place and the sun is going down](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thrity-umrigar/you-felt-a-deep-sorrow-the-kind-of-melancholy-you-feel-when-you-re-in/) [Thrity Umrigar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thrity-umrigar/) > [... how much of our inner substance is it good for us to give to public griefs? The whole modern tendency to agonize over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-bogan/how-much-of-our-inner-substance-is-it-good-for-us-to-give-to-public/) [Louise Bogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-bogan/) > [You dont choose your life; it chooses you. Theres no point asking why life has reserved certain joys or griefs, you just accept them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/you-dont-choose-your-life-it-chooses-you-theres-no-point-asking-why/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [“When we learn to attribute meaning to the events in our lives, we connect with our Higher Purpose, Higher Wisdom, or Source; we become…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-barbara-apollon/when-we-learn-to-attribute-meaning-to-the-events-in-our-lives-we/) [Susan Barbara Apollon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-barbara-apollon/) > [Only to have a grief equal to all these tears!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adrienne-rich/only-to-have-a-grief-equal-to-all-these-tears/) [Adrienne Rich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adrienne-rich/) > [Nowadays most people wear black most of the time anyway: go to a literary party and one would imagine everyone there was in perpetual…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fay-weldon/nowadays-most-people-wear-black-most-of-the-time-anyway-go-to-a/) [Fay Weldon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fay-weldon/) > [Suppressed grief suffocates, it rages within the breast, and is forced to multiply its strength.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ovid/suppressed-grief-suffocates-it-rages-within-the-breast-and-is-forced/) [Ovid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ovid/) > [That Woman is in love with her own grief.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-zevin/that-woman-is-in-love-with-her-own-grief/) [Gabrielle Zevin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-zevin/) > [Short time seems long in sorrow's sharp sustaining.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/short-time-seems-long-in-sorrow-s-sharp-sustaining/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [These days grief seems like walking on a frozen river; most of the time he feels safe enough, but there is always that danger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/these-days-grief-seems-like-walking-on-a-frozen-river-most-of-the/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [“You've been my beacon of light in my storm of grief, and I don't know if I could live without you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-ashley/you-ve-been-my-beacon-of-light-in-my-storm-of-grief-and-i-don-t-know/) [Katie Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-ashley/) > [Ancient eyes had stared at me, filled with ancient grief. And something more. Something so alien and unexpected that I'd almost burst into tears.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-marie-moning/ancient-eyes-had-stared-at-me-filled-with-ancient-grief-and-something/) [Karen Marie Moning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-marie-moning/) > [Meanwhile, the trees were just as green as before; the birds sang and the sun shone as clearly now as ever. The familiar surroundings…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-hardy/meanwhile-the-trees-were-just-as-green-as-before-the-birds-sang-and/) [Thomas Hardy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-hardy/) [Browse all 8,012 Grief quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“No. Really. I've thought about it a lot. You learn to live with it, with them. Because they do stay with you, even if they're not living, breathing people any more. 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