---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It comes to him: growth is betrayal…"
description: "\"“It comes to him: growth is betrayal. There is no other route. There is no arriving somewhere without leaving somewhere.”\" — John Updike"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e8/john-updike-396_betrayal_it-comes-to-him-growth-is-betrayal-there_1009972.jpg"
---

#  It comes to him: growth is betrayal. There is no other…

![“It comes to him: growth is betrayal. There is no other route. There is no arriving somewhere without leaving somewhere.” quote by John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e8/john-updike-396_betrayal_it-comes-to-him-growth-is-betrayal-there_1009972.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e8/john-updike-396_betrayal_it-comes-to-him-growth-is-betrayal-there_1009972.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e8/john-updike-396_betrayal_it-comes-to-him-growth-is-betrayal-there_1009972.jpg)

> ““It comes to him: growth is betrayal. There is no other route. There is no arriving somewhere without leaving somewhere.””

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Growth demands leaving behind parts of yourself; you cannot arrive unchanged without loss.

**In simple terms:** Growth requires sacrifice.

Key Takeaway

Accept loss as part of progress.

Themes

change loss growth

Mood

melancholic thoughtful

Type

literary philosophical

When to use this quote

- career transitions
- relationship endings
- creative projects

Key Concepts

Existentialism personal development

Questions to Reflect On

- What parts of yourself are you willing to let go?
- How does loss shape your identity?

A Different Perspective

Some may view loss as failure rather than necessary.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Betrayal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/betrayal/) [Growth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/growth/)

## Related quotes

> [“Growth is betrayal.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/growth-is-betrayal/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

> [I know change can be painful. But from change comes growth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-know-change-can-be-painful-but-from-change-comes-growth/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [If you will accept every call that comes to you within the Church, you will grow in a remarkable and marvelous and wonderful way.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-b-hinckley/if-you-will-accept-every-call-that-comes-to-you-within-the-church-you/)

[Gordon B. Hinckley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-b-hinckley/)

> [Oftentimes with change comes growth. What we have to make sure is that without change comes growth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sean-payton/oftentimes-with-change-comes-growth-what-we-have-to-make-sure-is-that/)

[Sean Payton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sean-payton/)

> [With loss comes growth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-foudy/with-loss-comes-growth/)

[Julie Foudy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-foudy/)

> [“Betrayal and love are not mutually exclusive." (Mordred)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aldous-mercer/betrayal-and-love-are-not-mutually-exclusive-mordred/)

[Aldous Mercer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aldous-mercer/)

> [Joy doesn't betray but sustains activism. And when you face a politics that aspires to make you fearful, alienated and isolated, joy is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-solnit/joy-doesn-t-betray-but-sustains-activism-and-when-you-face-a-politics/)

[Rebecca Solnit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-solnit/)

> [I was always here for you,you knew you could count on me and trust me blindly, and you knew that I would never tell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-hayssus/i-was-always-here-for-you-you-knew-you-could-count-on-me-and-trust-me/)

[Michael Hayssus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-hayssus/)

> [“He returned her gaze, yearning for sentimental solace; love which emanated from a familiar source, mattered little how bedevilling. They shared an intimate moment,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-h-septimius/he-returned-her-gaze-yearning-for-sentimental-solace-love-which/)

[A. H. Septimius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-h-septimius/)

> [“As they say in New York, Get over it and, if you can't get over it, Get over talking about it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/as-they-say-in-new-york-get-over-it-and-if-you-can-t-get-over-it-get/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [If you leave someone for another person, don't be surprised if that person leaves you for someone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-leave-someone-for-another-person-don-t-be-surprised-if-that/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/km-ii/there-is-no-deceit-in-death-it-delivers-precisely-what-it-has/)

[KM II](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/km-ii/)

> [“Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-auliq-ice/flattery-looks-like-friendship-just-like-a-wolf-looks-like-a-dog/)

[Oscar Auliq-Ice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-auliq-ice/)

> [God’s faithfulness is stronger than our unfaithfulness and our infidelities.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-francis/god-s-faithfulness-is-stronger-than-our-unfaithfulness-and-our/)

[Pope Francis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-francis/)

> [“That's the catch about betrayal, of course: that it feels good, that there's something immensely pleasurable about moving from a complicated relationship which involves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/that-s-the-catch-about-betrayal-of-course-that-it-feels-good-that/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

## More by John Updike

> [Life is a roller coaster, you have your ups and downs unless you fall off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/life-is-a-roller-coaster-you-have-your-ups-and-downs-unless-you-fall/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

> [Children are not a zoo of entertainingly exotic creatures, but an array of mirrors in which the human predicament leaps out at us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/children-are-not-a-zoo-of-entertainingly-exotic-creatures-but-an/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

> [I assume my stance, and take back the club, low, slowly; at the top, my eyes fog over, and my joints dip and swirl…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/i-assume-my-stance-and-take-back-the-club-low-slowly-at-the-top-my/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

> [The New England spirit does not seek solutions in a crowd; raw light and solitariness are less dreaded than welcomed as enhancers of our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/the-new-england-spirit-does-not-seek-solutions-in-a-crowd-raw-light/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

> [I imagine most of that stuff on the information highway is roadkill anyway.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/i-imagine-most-of-that-stuff-on-the-information-highway-is-roadkill/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

> [Families, doing everything for each other out of imagined obligation and always getting in each other's way, what a tangle.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/families-doing-everything-for-each-other-out-of-imagined-obligation/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

> [“The fucking world is running out of gas.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/the-fucking-world-is-running-out-of-gas/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

> [The theme of old age doesn't seem to fascinate Hollywood.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/the-theme-of-old-age-doesn-t-seem-to-fascinate-hollywood/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

> [“The mind cannot fall asleep as long as it watches itself. Only when the mind moves unwatched and becomes absorbed in images that tug…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/the-mind-cannot-fall-asleep-as-long-as-it-watches-itself-only-when/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

> [“it was somehow wonderful of her to be, in every detail, herself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/it-was-somehow-wonderful-of-her-to-be-in-every-detail-herself/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

> [In fiction, imaginary people become realer to us than any named celebrity glimpsed in a series of rumored events, whose causes and subtler ramifications…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/in-fiction-imaginary-people-become-realer-to-us-than-any-named/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

> [“Her hair had been going gray as long as he could remember; she bundled it behind in a bun held with hairpins that he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/her-hair-had-been-going-gray-as-long-as-he-could-remember-she-bundled/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

> [Possession diminishes perception of value, immediately](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/possession-diminishes-perception-of-value-immediately/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

> [I can't bear to finish things, beyond a certain point they get heavy. There's something so dead about a finished painting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/i-can-t-bear-to-finish-things-beyond-a-certain-point-they-get-heavy/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

> [“Some people find fall depressing, others hate spring. I've always been a spring person myself. All that growth, you can feel Nature groaning, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/some-people-find-fall-depressing-others-hate-spring-i-ve-always-been/)

[John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

[Explore all 592 John Updike quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/)

## More Betrayal quotes

> [“That's the catch about betrayal, of course: that it feels good, that there's something immensely pleasurable about moving from a complicated relationship which involves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nora-ephron/that-s-the-catch-about-betrayal-of-course-that-it-feels-good-that/)

[Nora Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nora-ephron/)

> [God’s faithfulness is stronger than our unfaithfulness and our infidelities.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-francis/god-s-faithfulness-is-stronger-than-our-unfaithfulness-and-our/)

[Pope Francis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-francis/)

> [“Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-auliq-ice/flattery-looks-like-friendship-just-like-a-wolf-looks-like-a-dog/)

[Oscar Auliq-Ice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-auliq-ice/)

> [There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/km-ii/there-is-no-deceit-in-death-it-delivers-precisely-what-it-has/)

[KM II](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/km-ii/)

> [If you leave someone for another person, don't be surprised if that person leaves you for someone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-leave-someone-for-another-person-don-t-be-surprised-if-that/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“As they say in New York, Get over it and, if you can't get over it, Get over talking about it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/as-they-say-in-new-york-get-over-it-and-if-you-can-t-get-over-it-get/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [“He returned her gaze, yearning for sentimental solace; love which emanated from a familiar source, mattered little how bedevilling. They shared an intimate moment,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-h-septimius/he-returned-her-gaze-yearning-for-sentimental-solace-love-which/)

[A. H. Septimius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-h-septimius/)

> [I was always here for you,you knew you could count on me and trust me blindly, and you knew that I would never tell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-hayssus/i-was-always-here-for-you-you-knew-you-could-count-on-me-and-trust-me/)

[Michael Hayssus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-hayssus/)

> [Joy doesn't betray but sustains activism. And when you face a politics that aspires to make you fearful, alienated and isolated, joy is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-solnit/joy-doesn-t-betray-but-sustains-activism-and-when-you-face-a-politics/)

[Rebecca Solnit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-solnit/)

> [“Betrayal and love are not mutually exclusive." (Mordred)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aldous-mercer/betrayal-and-love-are-not-mutually-exclusive-mordred/)

[Aldous Mercer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aldous-mercer/)

> [Love comes exactly... To those who still hope, even though they've been disappointed. To those who still believe, even though they've been betrayed and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mizhan/love-comes-exactly-to-those-who-still-hope-even-though-they-ve-been/)

[Mizhan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mizhan/)

> [For some people, a one-night stand doesn't make any difference in a seven-year love affair. I don't believe the degree of betrayal is always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/for-some-people-a-one-night-stand-doesn-t-make-any-difference-in-a/)

[Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/)

> [Betrayal is a serious thing in this world,you know what else is serious? Being lied to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sabrina/betrayal-is-a-serious-thing-in-this-world-you-know-what-else-is/)

[Sabrina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sabrina/)

> [The greatest temptation for the like of us is: to renounce violence, to repent, to make peace with oneself. Most revolutionaries fell before this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-koestler/the-greatest-temptation-for-the-like-of-us-is-to-renounce-violence-to/)

[Arthur Koestler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-koestler/)

> [“Sarai, you never know who might betray you until it’s too late.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-a-redmerski/sarai-you-never-know-who-might-betray-you-until-it-s-too-late/)

[J.A. Redmerski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-a-redmerski/)

[Browse all 2,050 Betrayal quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/betrayal/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“It comes to him: growth is betrayal. There is no other route. There is no arriving somewhere without leaving somewhere.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "John Updike"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/it-comes-to-him-growth-is-betrayal-there-is-no-other-route-there-is/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Betrayal"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/it-comes-to-him-growth-is-betrayal-there-is-no-other-route-there-is/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e8/john-updike-396_betrayal_it-comes-to-him-growth-is-betrayal-there_1009972.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e8/john-updike-396_betrayal_it-comes-to-him-growth-is-betrayal-there_1009972.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e8/john-updike-396_betrayal_it-comes-to-him-growth-is-betrayal-there_1009972.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“It comes to him: growth is betrayal. There is no other route. There is no arriving somewhere without leaving…” — John Updike",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "John Updike",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“It comes to him: growth is...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/it-comes-to-him-growth-is-betrayal-there-is-no-other-route-there-is/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/it-comes-to-him-growth-is-betrayal-there-is-no-other-route-there-is/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
