--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Families, doing everything for each other…" description: "\"Families, doing everything for each other out of imagined obligation and always getting in each other's way, what a tangle.\" — John Updike" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5fe/john-updike-396_families_families-doing-everything-for-each-other_32824.png" --- # Families, doing everything for each other out of imagined… ![“Families, doing everything for each other out of imagined obligation and always getting in each other's way, what a tangle.” quote by John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5fe/john-updike-396_families_families-doing-everything-for-each-other_32824.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5fe/john-updike-396_families_families-doing-everything-for-each-other_32824.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5fe/john-updike-396_families_families-doing-everything-for-each-other_32824.png) > “Families, doing everything for each other out of imagined obligation and always getting in each other's way, what a tangle.” [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. It critiques the over‑involved family dynamic where members act out of perceived duty, creating interference rather than support. **In simple terms:** Family over‑involvement creates tangled relationships. Key Takeaway Obligation can become a hindrance. Themes family dynamics obligation interpersonal interference social expectations personal autonomy Mood reflective wry critical Type observation social commentary When to use this quote - family gatherings - multigenerational households - caregiver relationships - conflict resolution Key Concepts dependency communication boundaries Practical Applications - counseling workshops - family therapy frameworks Questions to Reflect On - How can families balance support with independence? - When does duty become a burden? ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Families](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/families/) [Families Doing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/families-doing-431975/) [Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family/) [Imagined Obligation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/imagined-obligation-431977/) [Obligation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/obligation/) [Tangle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tangle/) [Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/) [Way Tangle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way-tangle-431976/) ## Related quotes > [What a tangle marriage can be!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonja-morgan/what-a-tangle-marriage-can-be/) [Sonja Morgan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonja-morgan/) > [“Which was strange, like watching a tangle of loose threads unravel and plait themselves into a single braided cord, stretching ahead into the future.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rosamunde-pilcher/which-was-strange-like-watching-a-tangle-of-loose-threads-unravel-and/) [Rosamunde Pilcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rosamunde-pilcher/) > [“A tangle, you know, is more powerful than a single thread alone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-nesbet/a-tangle-you-know-is-more-powerful-than-a-single-thread-alone/) [Anne Nesbet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-nesbet/) > [Tangle me up like Grandma's yarn,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luke-bryan/tangle-me-up-like-grandma-s-yarn/) [Luke Bryan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luke-bryan/) > [“Sometimes, when you look at a person, all you see is the tangle and you miss the weave.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-odell/sometimes-when-you-look-at-a-person-all-you-see-is-the-tangle-and-you/) [Jonathan Odell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-odell/) > [Under the comb, the tangle and the straight path are the same.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heraclitus/under-the-comb-the-tangle-and-the-straight-path-are-the-same/) [Heraclitus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heraclitus/) > [ “It seemed to him that he both knew too much to imagine \[the child's\] simplicity and too little to disembroil his tangle.” ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-james/it-seemed-to-him-that-he-both-knew-too-much-to-imagine-the-child-s/) [Henry James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-james/) > [You never can tell when a bad thing might make a good thing happen. I realized that good and bad were always there and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ingrid-law/you-never-can-tell-when-a-bad-thing-might-make-a-good-thing-happen-i/) [Ingrid Law](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ingrid-law/) > [“I realized that good and bad were always there and always mixed up together in a tangle" -Mibs”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ingrid-law/i-realized-that-good-and-bad-were-always-there-and-always-mixed-up/) [Ingrid Law](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ingrid-law/) > [“I got myself into a tangle. I tied myself in knots. I built and I built–heaven knows I have done that well. Those skyscrapers,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-rachman/i-got-myself-into-a-tangle-i-tied-myself-in-knots-i-built-and-i-built/) [Tom Rachman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-rachman/) > [Look at this tangle of thorns.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vladimir-nabokov/look-at-this-tangle-of-thorns/) [Vladimir Nabokov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vladimir-nabokov/) > [“Damn, she was getting so tangled up by guilt and desire. ~Nikki in Texas Tangle”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leah-braemel/damn-she-was-getting-so-tangled-up-by-guilt-and-desire-nikki-in-texas/) [Leah Braemel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leah-braemel/) > [“My life's a tangle of past and present, like two separate puzzles with their pieces tumbled together. Nothing fits.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-murdoch/my-life-s-a-tangle-of-past-and-present-like-two-separate-puzzles-with/) [Emily Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-murdoch/) > [“Their legs tangle together real easy. His hand goes over hers, fingers interlacing. So natural, too, as though they’d never said a harsh word…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-stein/their-legs-tangle-together-real-easy-his-hand-goes-over-hers-fingers/) [Charlotte Stein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-stein/) > [“I only know what it is that's wrong with him; not why it is." And what is it?" asked Lucy fearfully, expecting some harrowing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-m-forster-2/i-only-know-what-it-is-that-s-wrong-with-him-not-why-it-is-and-what/) [E.M. Forster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-m-forster-2/) ## More by John Updike > [Life is a roller coaster, you have your ups and downs unless you fall off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/life-is-a-roller-coaster-you-have-your-ups-and-downs-unless-you-fall/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [Children are not a zoo of entertainingly exotic creatures, but an array of mirrors in which the human predicament leaps out at us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/children-are-not-a-zoo-of-entertainingly-exotic-creatures-but-an/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [I assume my stance, and take back the club, low, slowly; at the top, my eyes fog over, and my joints dip and swirl…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/i-assume-my-stance-and-take-back-the-club-low-slowly-at-the-top-my/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [The New England spirit does not seek solutions in a crowd; raw light and solitariness are less dreaded than welcomed as enhancers of our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/the-new-england-spirit-does-not-seek-solutions-in-a-crowd-raw-light/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [I imagine most of that stuff on the information highway is roadkill anyway.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/i-imagine-most-of-that-stuff-on-the-information-highway-is-roadkill/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [“The fucking world is running out of gas.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/the-fucking-world-is-running-out-of-gas/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [The theme of old age doesn't seem to fascinate Hollywood.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/the-theme-of-old-age-doesn-t-seem-to-fascinate-hollywood/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [“The mind cannot fall asleep as long as it watches itself. Only when the mind moves unwatched and becomes absorbed in images that tug…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/the-mind-cannot-fall-asleep-as-long-as-it-watches-itself-only-when/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [“it was somehow wonderful of her to be, in every detail, herself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/it-was-somehow-wonderful-of-her-to-be-in-every-detail-herself/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [In fiction, imaginary people become realer to us than any named celebrity glimpsed in a series of rumored events, whose causes and subtler ramifications…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/in-fiction-imaginary-people-become-realer-to-us-than-any-named/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [“Her hair had been going gray as long as he could remember; she bundled it behind in a bun held with hairpins that he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/her-hair-had-been-going-gray-as-long-as-he-could-remember-she-bundled/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [Possession diminishes perception of value, immediately](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/possession-diminishes-perception-of-value-immediately/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [I can't bear to finish things, beyond a certain point they get heavy. There's something so dead about a finished painting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/i-can-t-bear-to-finish-things-beyond-a-certain-point-they-get-heavy/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [“Some people find fall depressing, others hate spring. I've always been a spring person myself. All that growth, you can feel Nature groaning, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/some-people-find-fall-depressing-others-hate-spring-i-ve-always-been/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [I think you remember certain phrases from bad reviews. You don't remember all the bad reviews.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/i-think-you-remember-certain-phrases-from-bad-reviews-you-don-t/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) [Explore all 592 John Updike quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) ## More Families quotes > [It's not just that families can't buy a home or start a business without some savings tucked away.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-cooper/it-s-not-just-that-families-can-t-buy-a-home-or-start-a-business/) [Jim Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-cooper/) > [“Don’t waste your time trying to explain yourself to people that are committed to misunderstanding you. Instead, commit your time to explaining who they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-l-alder/don-t-waste-your-time-trying-to-explain-yourself-to-people-that-are/) [Shannon L. Alder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-l-alder/) > [Back in the really olden days, dinner was seldom a ceremonial event for U.S. families. Only the very wealthy had a separate dining room.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-gibbs/back-in-the-really-olden-days-dinner-was-seldom-a-ceremonial-event/) [Nancy Gibbs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-gibbs/) > [“Families can be together forever.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lds-church/families-can-be-together-forever/) [LDS Church](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lds-church/) > [I have a tremendous amount of respect for military families. To have to worry about your loved ones and still try and live a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashanti/i-have-a-tremendous-amount-of-respect-for-military-families-to-have/) [Ashanti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashanti/) > [Families are the compass that guide us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brad-henry/families-are-the-compass-that-guide-us-they-are-the-inspiration-to/) [Brad Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brad-henry/) > [Oh wow, you know what's wrong with all these families on TV? All these kids say stuff no kid would say. Stuff grown-ups want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/macaulay-culkin/oh-wow-you-know-what-s-wrong-with-all-these-families-on-tv-all-these/) [Macaulay Culkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/macaulay-culkin/) > [My parents were, had a marriage of passion, and the passion was about their religious beliefs. They were both immigrant families that - well,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-jackson/my-parents-were-had-a-marriage-of-passion-and-the-passion-was-about/) [Phil Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-jackson/) > [Since FDR's New Deal, corporations and wealthy families have been non-stop finding new ways to get tax breaks, deregulation and entitlements from the government.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-mckay/since-fdr-s-new-deal-corporations-and-wealthy-families-have-been-non/) [Adam McKay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-mckay/) > [I look forward to the day that a lot of the folks that you all talk about and cover on this network will begin…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-look-forward-to-the-day-that-a-lot-of-the-folks-that-you-all-talk/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Nobody ever wants to see a guy get hurt, because this is how we feed our families.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/enzo-amore/nobody-ever-wants-to-see-a-guy-get-hurt-because-this-is-how-we-feed/) [Enzo Amore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/enzo-amore/) > [As we progress and become more like the Savior, we can strengthen every group with whom we associate, including families and friends.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-b-wirthlin/as-we-progress-and-become-more-like-the-savior-we-can-strengthen/) [Joseph B. 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Four years later, our hearts still hurt for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-doolittle/the-last-four-years-have-not-diluted-the-memory-or-weakened-the/) [John Doolittle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-doolittle/) [Browse all 1,458 Families quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/families/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Families, doing everything for each other out of imagined obligation and always getting in each other's way, what a tangle.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Updike" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/families-doing-everything-for-each-other-out-of-imagined-obligation/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Families" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/families-doing-everything-for-each-other-out-of-imagined-obligation/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5fe/john-updike-396_families_families-doing-everything-for-each-other_32824.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5fe/john-updike-396_families_families-doing-everything-for-each-other_32824.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5fe/john-updike-396_families_families-doing-everything-for-each-other_32824.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Families, doing everything for each other out of imagined obligation and always getting in each other's way…” — John Updike", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "John Updike", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Families, doing everything for each other...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/families-doing-everything-for-each-other-out-of-imagined-obligation/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/families-doing-everything-for-each-other-out-of-imagined-obligation/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```