--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Affairs, ... , like everything else, ask…" description: "\"Affairs, ... , like everything else, ask too much.\" — John Updike" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/807/john-updike-396_affair_affairs-like-everything-else-ask-too-muc_2463247.png" --- # Affairs, ... , like everything else, ask too much. ![“Affairs, ... , like everything else, ask too much.” quote by John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/807/john-updike-396_affair_affairs-like-everything-else-ask-too-muc_2463247.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/807/john-updike-396_affair_affairs-like-everything-else-ask-too-muc_2463247.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/807/john-updike-396_affair_affairs-like-everything-else-ask-too-muc_2463247.png) > “Affairs, ... , like everything else, ask too much.” [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. He suggests that relationships, like everything else, demand excessive effort **In simple terms:** Relationships require too much effort Key Takeaway Recognize and balance effort in relationships Themes relationships effort expectations Mood thoughtful analytical Type philosophical relationship When to use this quote - set realistic expectations - communicate needs - evaluate commitments Key Concepts social dynamics personal boundaries emotional labor Questions to Reflect On - What expectations are reasonable? - How to negotiate effort fairly? A Different Perspective Excessive demands can lead to burnout ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Affair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/affair/) [Affairs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/affairs/) [Affairs Like](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/affairs-like-681616/) [Asks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asks/) [Inspirational](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inspirational/) [Like](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/like/) [Like Ask](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/like-ask-311898/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Too much](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/too-much/) ## Related quotes > [“Affairs are like a seventh day. They are a break from all duties and obligations and responsibilities. I'm not saying this is right and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendy-plump/affairs-are-like-a-seventh-day-they-are-a-break-from-all-duties-and/) [Wendy Plump](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendy-plump/) > [Human affairs are like a chess game. Only those who do not take it seriously can be called good players.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zicheng-hong/human-affairs-are-like-a-chess-game-only-those-who-do-not-take-it/) [Zicheng Hong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zicheng-hong/) > [The thing to remember about love affairs," says Simone, "is that they are all like having raccoons in your chimney." ... We have raccoons…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/the-thing-to-remember-about-love-affairs-says-simone-is-that-they-are/) [Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/) > [...What disturbed him was the discovery that in sensibly ordering his affairs he had got out of step, and not into step, with Life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dashiell-hammett/what-disturbed-him-was-the-discovery-that-in-sensibly-ordering-his/) [Dashiell Hammett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dashiell-hammett/) > [Love affairs are the real only education in life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marlene-dietrich/love-affairs-are-the-real-only-education-in-life/) [Marlene Dietrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marlene-dietrich/) > [“We were hooked when we woke. We had arms for each other. But I yearned to resume My dreams of another.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roman-payne/we-were-hooked-when-we-woke-we-had-arms-for-each-other-but-i-yearned/) [Roman Payne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roman-payne/) > [“I won't stay in with married men any more said the wise girl they're too agreeable, it's a little too much like curling up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/norman-mailer/i-won-t-stay-in-with-married-men-any-more-said-the-wise-girl-they-re/) [Norman Mailer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/norman-mailer/) > [Bill Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-clancy/bill-clinton-is-a-man-who-thinks-international-affairs-means-dating-a/) [Tom Clancy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-clancy/) > [Wealth is the sinews of affairs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wilfred-bion/wealth-is-the-sinews-of-affairs/) [Wilfred Bion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wilfred-bion/) > [I have long believed that women should play a much bigger part in our affairs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-grimond/i-have-long-believed-that-women-should-play-a-much-bigger-part-in-our/) [Jo Grimond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-grimond/) > [For most affairs, this eventually becomes the most fundamental of questions, the only one that matters: Do we love each other more than the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brady-udall/for-most-affairs-this-eventually-becomes-the-most-fundamental-of/) [Brady Udall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brady-udall/) > [ In Stage I, divorces were not allowed, so men's \[sexual\] affairs did not put women's economic security in jeopardy; in Stage II, affairs could… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/in-stage-i-divorces-were-not-allowed-so-men-s-sexual-affairs-did-not/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [International affairs is very much run like the mafia. The godfather does not accept disobedience, even from a small storekeeper who doesn't pay his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noam-chomsky/international-affairs-is-very-much-run-like-the-mafia-the-godfather/) [Noam Chomsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noam-chomsky/) > [When the Veterans Affairs Department implemented a program to provide home-based health care to veterans with multiple chronic conditions - many of the system's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ron-wyden/when-the-veterans-affairs-department-implemented-a-program-to-provide/) [Ron Wyden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ron-wyden/) > [“I’m not going to deny that I want to fuck you. I can’t promise a future or that I’ll be some sniveling boyfriend who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/d-l-hess/i-m-not-going-to-deny-that-i-want-to-fuck-you-i-can-t-promise-a/) [D.L. Hess](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/d-l-hess/) ## More by John Updike > [Life is a roller coaster, you have your ups and downs unless you fall off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/life-is-a-roller-coaster-you-have-your-ups-and-downs-unless-you-fall/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [Children are not a zoo of entertainingly exotic creatures, but an array of mirrors in which the human predicament leaps out at us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/children-are-not-a-zoo-of-entertainingly-exotic-creatures-but-an/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [I assume my stance, and take back the club, low, slowly; at the top, my eyes fog over, and my joints dip and swirl…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/i-assume-my-stance-and-take-back-the-club-low-slowly-at-the-top-my/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [The New England spirit does not seek solutions in a crowd; raw light and solitariness are less dreaded than welcomed as enhancers of our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/the-new-england-spirit-does-not-seek-solutions-in-a-crowd-raw-light/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [I imagine most of that stuff on the information highway is roadkill anyway.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/i-imagine-most-of-that-stuff-on-the-information-highway-is-roadkill/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [Families, doing everything for each other out of imagined obligation and always getting in each other's way, what a tangle.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/families-doing-everything-for-each-other-out-of-imagined-obligation/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [“The fucking world is running out of gas.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/the-fucking-world-is-running-out-of-gas/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [The theme of old age doesn't seem to fascinate Hollywood.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/the-theme-of-old-age-doesn-t-seem-to-fascinate-hollywood/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [“The mind cannot fall asleep as long as it watches itself. Only when the mind moves unwatched and becomes absorbed in images that tug…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/the-mind-cannot-fall-asleep-as-long-as-it-watches-itself-only-when/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [“it was somehow wonderful of her to be, in every detail, herself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/it-was-somehow-wonderful-of-her-to-be-in-every-detail-herself/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [In fiction, imaginary people become realer to us than any named celebrity glimpsed in a series of rumored events, whose causes and subtler ramifications…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/in-fiction-imaginary-people-become-realer-to-us-than-any-named/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [“Her hair had been going gray as long as he could remember; she bundled it behind in a bun held with hairpins that he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/her-hair-had-been-going-gray-as-long-as-he-could-remember-she-bundled/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [Possession diminishes perception of value, immediately](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/possession-diminishes-perception-of-value-immediately/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [I can't bear to finish things, beyond a certain point they get heavy. There's something so dead about a finished painting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/i-can-t-bear-to-finish-things-beyond-a-certain-point-they-get-heavy/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [“Some people find fall depressing, others hate spring. I've always been a spring person myself. All that growth, you can feel Nature groaning, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/some-people-find-fall-depressing-others-hate-spring-i-ve-always-been/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) [Explore all 592 John Updike quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) ## More Affair quotes > [Histories never conclude; they just pause their prose. Their stories are, if they are truthful, untidy affairs, resistant to windings-up and sortings-out. They beat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simon-schama/histories-never-conclude-they-just-pause-their-prose-their-stories/) [Simon Schama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simon-schama/) > [Islam never differentiates between men and women as regards political rights and puts them on an equal footing. However, even if a woman is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yusuf-al-qaradawi/islam-never-differentiates-between-men-and-women-as-regards-political/) [Yusuf al-Qaradawi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yusuf-al-qaradawi/) > [Our guiding principle was that design is neither an intellectual nor a material affair, but simply an integral part of the stuff of life,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walter-gropius/our-guiding-principle-was-that-design-is-neither-an-intellectual-nor/) [Walter Gropius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walter-gropius/) > [I wonder if it's possible to have a love affair that lasts forever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-warhol/i-wonder-if-it-s-possible-to-have-a-love-affair-that-lasts-forever/) [Andy Warhol](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-warhol/) > [For a young man to start his career with a love affair with an older woman was quite de rigueur ... Of course, it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vita-sackville-west/for-a-young-man-to-start-his-career-with-a-love-affair-with-an-older/) [Vita Sackville-West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vita-sackville-west/) > [As long as the state permits itself to interfere in the affairs of literature, literature has the right to interfere with the affairs of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-brodsky/as-long-as-the-state-permits-itself-to-interfere-in-the-affairs-of/) [Joseph Brodsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-brodsky/) > [Love is mainly an affair of short spasms. If these spasms disappoint us, love dies. It is very seldom that it weathers the experience…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-cocteau/love-is-mainly-an-affair-of-short-spasms-if-these-spasms-disappoint/) [Jean Cocteau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-cocteau/) > [The Fundamental Principle that governs - or ought to govern -human affairs if we wish to avoid misunderstandings, conflicts, or pointless utopias, is negotiation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/umberto-eco/the-fundamental-principle-that-governs-or-ought-to-govern-human/) [Umberto Eco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/umberto-eco/) > [My hope does not rest in the affairs of this world. It rests in Christ who is coming again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/billy-graham/my-hope-does-not-rest-in-the-affairs-of-this-world-it-rests-in-christ/) [Billy Graham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/billy-graham/) > [In 1953, the United States played a significant role in orchestrating the overthrow of Iran's popular prime minister, Mohammed Mossadegh. The Eisenhower administration believed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madeleine-albright/in-1953-the-united-states-played-a-significant-role-in-orchestrating/) [Madeleine Albright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madeleine-albright/) > [Not everyone likes the stable, gradual rise of our country. There are some who are using the democratic ideology to interfere in our internal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vladimir-putin/not-everyone-likes-the-stable-gradual-rise-of-our-country-there-are/) [Vladimir Putin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vladimir-putin/) > [The archives recall not one single incriminating incident, not one drunken escapade, not one reported affair, not one spat with a team-mate or reporter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-atherton/the-archives-recall-not-one-single-incriminating-incident-not-one/) [Michael Atherton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-atherton/) > [“I ripped the sketch from the wall. "Liar." Edward looked more ravaged than usual. "That is a terrible word, coming from you." "Yup." "And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-jensen/i-ripped-the-sketch-from-the-wall-liar-edward-looked-more-ravaged/) [Melissa Jensen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-jensen/) > [For some people, a one-night stand doesn't make any difference in a seven-year love affair. I don't believe the degree of betrayal is always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/for-some-people-a-one-night-stand-doesn-t-make-any-difference-in-a/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [And what is literature, Rabo," he said, "but an insider's newsletter about affairs relating to molecules, of no importance to anything in the universe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kurt-vonnegut/and-what-is-literature-rabo-he-said-but-an-insider-s-newsletter-about/) [Kurt Vonnegut](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kurt-vonnegut/) [Browse all 2,218 Affair quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/affair/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Affairs, ... , like everything else, ask too much.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Updike" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/affairs-like-everything-else-ask-too-much/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Affair" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/affairs-like-everything-else-ask-too-much/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/807/john-updike-396_affair_affairs-like-everything-else-ask-too-muc_2463247.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/807/john-updike-396_affair_affairs-like-everything-else-ask-too-muc_2463247.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/807/john-updike-396_affair_affairs-like-everything-else-ask-too-muc_2463247.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Affairs, ... , like everything else, ask too much.” — John Updike", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "John Updike", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Affairs, ... , like everything else,...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/affairs-like-everything-else-ask-too-much/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/affairs-like-everything-else-ask-too-much/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```