--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Like the Second Law of Thermodynamics…" description: "\"“Like the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which says that in closed energy systems things tend to run down and get less orderly, the same seems to be tru..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f6/john-m-gottman-29632_good-thing_like-the-second-law-of-thermodynamics-wh_1437864.jpg" --- # Like the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which says that in… ![“Like the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which says that in closed energy systems things tend to run down and get less orderly, the same seems to be true of closed relationships like marriages. My guess is that if you do nothing to make things get better in your marriage but do not do anything…” quote by John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f6/john-m-gottman-29632_good-thing_like-the-second-law-of-thermodynamics-wh_1437864.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f6/john-m-gottman-29632_good-thing_like-the-second-law-of-thermodynamics-wh_1437864.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f6/john-m-gottman-29632_good-thing_like-the-second-law-of-thermodynamics-wh_1437864.jpg) > ““Like the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which says that in closed energy systems things tend to run down and get less orderly, the same seems to be true of closed relationships like marriages. My guess is that if you do nothing to make things get better in your marriage but do not do anything wrong, the marriage will still tend to get worse over time. To maintain a balanced emotional ecology you need to make an effort—think about your spouse during the day, think about how to make a good thing even better, and act.”” [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Relationships naturally decay without active effort; intentional nurturing is required. **In simple terms:** Marriages need active maintenance to avoid decline. Key Takeaway Invest daily thought and action into your partnership. Themes relationships maintenance entropy Mood hopeful thoughtful Type advice inspirational When to use this quote - marriage counseling - daily gratitude - conflict resolution Key Concepts thermodynamics emotional ecology Questions to Reflect On - How can you show appreciation today? - What small habit can improve your connection? A Different Perspective Effort alone may not fix deep incompatibilities; professional help may be needed. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Law](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/law/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Things get better](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/things-get-better/) ## Related quotes > [In relationships, I'm usually the one who's like, 'Oh, I don't need this right now. I don't need commitment. I can do well on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daya/in-relationships-i-m-usually-the-one-who-s-like-oh-i-don-t-need-this/) [Daya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daya/) > [“ASSUMING POSITIVE INTENT AND keeping a marriage diary are two examples of what psychologists call “considering the opposite.” I think my spouse is selfish—but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chip-heath/assuming-positive-intent-and-keeping-a-marriage-diary-are-two/) [Chip Heath](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chip-heath/) > [“I was beginning to understand why marriage “experts” like to say that if a couple gets through the first year of marriage they stand…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annabelle-gurwitch/i-was-beginning-to-understand-why-marriage-experts-like-to-say-that/) [Annabelle Gurwitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annabelle-gurwitch/) > [When it's your fourth marriage, you tend to lose faith in superstitions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-elizabeth-phillips/when-it-s-your-fourth-marriage-you-tend-to-lose-faith-in-superstitions/) [Susan Elizabeth Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-elizabeth-phillips/) > [How you think about your spouse greatly impacts how you treat your spouse.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-lowe/how-you-think-about-your-spouse-greatly-impacts-how-you-treat-your/) [Ted Lowe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-lowe/) > [Sometimes divorce is better than marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sumner-redstone/sometimes-divorce-is-better-than-marriage/) [Sumner Redstone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sumner-redstone/) > [Marriage of attraction is a gamble anyway, so you might as well marry into a family that is similar to your own, and make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mira-nair/marriage-of-attraction-is-a-gamble-anyway-so-you-might-as-well-marry/) [Mira Nair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mira-nair/) > [Prostitutes are way better than marriage. Why buy a whole cow, when you only want a glass of milk?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/prostitutes-are-way-better-than-marriage-why-buy-a-whole-cow-when-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I ... would guess maybe about one or two out of five men is suited for marriage and probably four out of five women…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-would-guess-maybe-about-one-or-two-out-of-five-men-is-suited-for/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [Better no marriage, than a marriage short of the best.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/better-no-marriage-than-a-marriage-short-of-the-best/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [There's a lot of me in it. But the character is more egotistical. I'm also egotistical, but not the way the character is. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/there-s-a-lot-of-me-in-it-but-the-character-is-more-egotistical-i-m/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [Sex before marriage is wrong? Would you buy a car without test driving it?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sex-before-marriage-is-wrong-would-you-buy-a-car-without-test-driving/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [A lot of my friends who started out at the same time as me ended up getting married before they made it. There's nothing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eddie-rabbitt/a-lot-of-my-friends-who-started-out-at-the-same-time-as-me-ended-up/) [Eddie Rabbitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eddie-rabbitt/) > [I want to ask those people who are saying how can her marriage go wrong even for the second time. I want to ask…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shweta-tiwari/i-want-to-ask-those-people-who-are-saying-how-can-her-marriage-go/) [Shweta Tiwari](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shweta-tiwari/) > [What sort of job can you hold in America in which it is safe to hold the personal conviction that same-sex marriage is wrong?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-shapiro/what-sort-of-job-can-you-hold-in-america-in-which-it-is-safe-to-hold/) [Ben Shapiro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-shapiro/) ## More by John M. Gottman > [When a couple gets to the last stage, one or both partners may have an affair. But an affair is usually a symptom of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/when-a-couple-gets-to-the-last-stage-one-or-both-partners-may-have-an/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse predict an ailing marriage: Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling and Contempt. The worst of these is contempt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/the-four-horsemen-of-the-apocalypse-predict-an-ailing-marriage/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [I believe we're going to find that respect and affection are essential to all relationships working and contempt destroys them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/i-believe-we-re-going-to-find-that-respect-and-affection-are/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [You don't have to be interesting. You have to be interested.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/you-don-t-have-to-be-interesting-you-have-to-be-interested/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [“Carnegie was right when he wrote, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/carnegie-was-right-when-he-wrote-you-can-make-more-friends-in-two/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [In order to get to a healthier and more productive place, we need to give up our fear of conflict, turmoil and resistance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/in-order-to-get-to-a-healthier-and-more-productive-place-we-need-to/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [Gay and lesbian relationships operate on essentially the same principles as heterosexual relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/gay-and-lesbian-relationships-operate-on-essentially-the-same/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [Marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions whereas when the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/marriages-are-much-more-likely-to-succeed-when-the-couple-experiences/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [“But in their day-to-day lives, they have hit upon a dynamic that keeps their negative thoughts and feelings about each other (which all couples…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/but-in-their-day-to-day-lives-they-have-hit-upon-a-dynamic-that-keeps/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [“Some people leave a marriage literally, by divorcing. Others do so by leading parallel lives together.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/some-people-leave-a-marriage-literally-by-divorcing-others-do-so-by/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [In a good relationship, people get angry, but in a very different way. The Marriage Masters see a problem a bit like a soccer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/in-a-good-relationship-people-get-angry-but-in-a-very-different-way/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [“In the midst of a bitter dispute, the husband or wife picks up a ringing telephone and is suddenly all smiles: “Oh, hi. Yes,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/in-the-midst-of-a-bitter-dispute-the-husband-or-wife-picks-up-a/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [Bid for connection: Each of our daily interactions with another person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/bid-for-connection-each-of-our-daily-interactions-with-another-person/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [I liken an affair to the shattering of a Waterford crystal vase. You can glue it back together, but it will never be the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/i-liken-an-affair-to-the-shattering-of-a-waterford-crystal-vase-you/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [“Women find a man’s willingness to do housework extremely erotic.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/women-find-a-man-s-willingness-to-do-housework-extremely-erotic/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) [Explore all 16 John M. Gottman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) ## More Good thing quotes > [It can sometimes make people fold into themselves and kind of run away, but I think in this case these characters are being forced…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-deschanel/it-can-sometimes-make-people-fold-into-themselves-and-kind-of-run/) [Emily Deschanel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-deschanel/) > [“Of the good things they do many will pass unnoticed, or will even not be considered good at all; but they need not fear…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teresa-of-vila/of-the-good-things-they-do-many-will-pass-unnoticed-or-will-even-not/) [Teresa of Ávila](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teresa-of-vila/) > [Certainly, it is. Love is love, and loss is loss. We all love, and we all die, and everyone suffers the pain of grieving.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lynsay-sands/certainly-it-is-love-is-love-and-loss-is-loss-we-all-love-and-we-all/) [Lynsay Sands](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lynsay-sands/) > [It is a sweet thing that we serve a dissatisfied God who has destinations in mind for us that we would never choose for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-david-tripp/it-is-a-sweet-thing-that-we-serve-a-dissatisfied-god-who-has/) [Paul David Tripp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-david-tripp/) > [“At times, competition can be a good thing. But a person's value isn't something that can be ranked, is it?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hotaru-odagiri/at-times-competition-can-be-a-good-thing-but-a-person-s-value-isn-t/) [Hotaru Odagiri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hotaru-odagiri/) > [Here are the good things about independent films: They do the more interesting, chancy scripts. They're run by love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-h-macy/here-are-the-good-things-about-independent-films-they-do-the-more/) [William H. Macy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-h-macy/) > [...Gratitude transforms the torment of memory of good things now gone into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dietrich-bonhoeffer/gratitude-transforms-the-torment-of-memory-of-good-things-now-gone/) [Dietrich Bonhoeffer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dietrich-bonhoeffer/) > [“The absence of judgment becomes a catalyst and an enabler for greater injustice. Contrary to popular thought, judgment is a GOOD thing when it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-chace-gordon/the-absence-of-judgment-becomes-a-catalyst-and-an-enabler-for-greater/) [J. Chace Gordon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-chace-gordon/) > [“I took that warm feeling running through my veins as a good thing and embraced the darkness for I knew it was only temporary.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-cox/i-took-that-warm-feeling-running-through-my-veins-as-a-good-thing-and/) [James Cox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-cox/) > [If good things come to those who wait then I must have something ridiculously awesome coming!!!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nishan-panwar/if-good-things-come-to-those-who-wait-then-i-must-have-something/) [Nishan Panwar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nishan-panwar/) > [IVE LEARNED THE BEST WAY FOR YOU TO HAVE GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU , ALL THE TIME, IS TO DO GOOD THINGS FOR…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-paul-rose/ive-learned-the-best-way-for-you-to-have-good-things-happen-to-you/) [LEONARD PAUL ROSE](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-paul-rose/) > [In my rear view mirror the sun is going down sinking behind bridges in the road and I think of all the good things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-waters/in-my-rear-view-mirror-the-sun-is-going-down-sinking-behind-bridges/) [Roger Waters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-waters/) > [“These are all good things, I said. But no one knows where your country is or who you are. You don't have a familiar…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-shteyngart/these-are-all-good-things-i-said-but-no-one-knows-where-your-country/) [Gary Shteyngart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-shteyngart/) > [Good things come to those who hustle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-noll/good-things-come-to-those-who-hustle/) [Chuck Noll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-noll/) > [Too many good things all seem the same after a while.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/too-many-good-things-all-seem-the-same-after-a-while/) [Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) Browse all 6,343 Good thing quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Like the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which says that in closed energy systems things tend to run down and get less orderly, the same seems to be true of closed relationships like marriages. My guess is that if you do nothing to make things get better in your marriage but do not do anything wrong, the marriage will still tend to get worse over time. To maintain a balanced emotional ecology you need to make an effort—think about your spouse during the day, think about how to make a good thing even better, and act.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John M. Gottman" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/like-the-second-law-of-thermodynamics-which-says-that-in-closed/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Good thing" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/like-the-second-law-of-thermodynamics-which-says-that-in-closed/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f6/john-m-gottman-29632_good-thing_like-the-second-law-of-thermodynamics-wh_1437864.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f6/john-m-gottman-29632_good-thing_like-the-second-law-of-thermodynamics-wh_1437864.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f6/john-m-gottman-29632_good-thing_like-the-second-law-of-thermodynamics-wh_1437864.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Like the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which says that in closed energy systems things tend to run down and…” — John M. Gottman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "John M. Gottman", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“Like the Second Law of Thermodynamics,...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/like-the-second-law-of-thermodynamics-which-says-that-in-closed/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/like-the-second-law-of-thermodynamics-which-says-that-in-closed/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```