--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: In a good relationship, people get angry…" description: "\"In a good relationship, people get angry, but in a very different way. The Marriage Masters see a problem a bit like a soccer ball. They kick it around..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f01/john-m-gottman-29632_angry_in-a-good-relationship-people-get-angry_2167747.png" --- # In a good relationship, people get angry, but in a very… ![“In a good relationship, people get angry, but in a very different way. The Marriage Masters see a problem a bit like a soccer ball. They kick it around. It's 'our' problem.” quote by John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f01/john-m-gottman-29632_angry_in-a-good-relationship-people-get-angry_2167747.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f01/john-m-gottman-29632_angry_in-a-good-relationship-people-get-angry_2167747.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f01/john-m-gottman-29632_angry_in-a-good-relationship-people-get-angry_2167747.png) > “In a good relationship, people get angry, but in a very different way. The Marriage Masters see a problem a bit like a soccer ball. They kick it around. It's 'our' problem.” [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Conflicts are natural; how couples handle anger determines relationship health. **In simple terms:** Anger is normal, but handling matters. Key Takeaway Address disputes constructively. Themes relationships conflict resolution emotional intelligence Mood reflective hopeful Type advice psychological When to use this quote - marriage counseling - team projects - family discussions Key Concepts attachment theory communication patterns emotional regulation Questions to Reflect On - What does your “soccer ball” metaphor reveal about shared problems? - How can you turn conflict into collaboration? A Different Perspective Some anger may signal deeper issues needing separate attention. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Angry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/angry/) [Balls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/balls/) [Bits](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bits/) [Different](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/different/) [Different ways](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/different-ways/) [Good relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/good-relationship/) [Kicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kicks/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Marriage Masters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage-masters-4628745/) [Masters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/masters/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [People Angry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people-angry/) [Problem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/problem/) [Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/) [Relationship People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship-people/) [Soccer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/soccer/) [Soccer ball](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/soccer-ball/) [Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/) [Way Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way-marriage-1912194/) ## Related quotes > [“Child,” said the Director, “it is not a question of how you or I look on marriage but how my Masters look on it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis-2/child-said-the-director-it-is-not-a-question-of-how-you-or-i-look-on/) [C.S. 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Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [In order to get to a healthier and more productive place, we need to give up our fear of conflict, turmoil and resistance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/in-order-to-get-to-a-healthier-and-more-productive-place-we-need-to/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [“Like the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which says that in closed energy systems things tend to run down and get less orderly, the same…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/like-the-second-law-of-thermodynamics-which-says-that-in-closed/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [Gay and lesbian relationships operate on essentially the same principles as heterosexual relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/gay-and-lesbian-relationships-operate-on-essentially-the-same/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [Marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions whereas when the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/marriages-are-much-more-likely-to-succeed-when-the-couple-experiences/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [“But in their day-to-day lives, they have hit upon a dynamic that keeps their negative thoughts and feelings about each other (which all couples…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/but-in-their-day-to-day-lives-they-have-hit-upon-a-dynamic-that-keeps/) [John M. Gottman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-m-gottman/) > [“Some people leave a marriage literally, by divorcing. Others do so by leading parallel lives together.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-gottman/some-people-leave-a-marriage-literally-by-divorcing-others-do-so-by/) [John M. 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Jemisin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-k-jemisin/) > [There's only so much for a man to take...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirsten-gilchrist/there-s-only-so-much-for-a-man-to-take/) [Kirsten Gilchrist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kirsten-gilchrist/) > [It is afraid of an informed, angry public demanding the constitutional government it was promised - and it should be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-snowden/it-is-afraid-of-an-informed-angry-public-demanding-the-constitutional/) [Edward Snowden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-snowden/) > [“When you feel terribly angry, you're possessed by anger ghost.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/when-you-feel-terribly-angry-you-re-possessed-by-anger-ghost/) [Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/) > [You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/you-should-be-angry-you-must-not-be-bitter-bitterness-is-like-cancer/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [I always fight better when my opponent's angry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-haye/i-always-fight-better-when-my-opponent-s-angry/) [David Haye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-haye/) > [Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying or getting overly angry or to maintain control.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-haysbert/sometimes-you-have-to-laugh-to-keep-from-crying-or-getting-overly/) [Dennis Haysbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-haysbert/) > [When you're frustrated with people, when they've made you angry, it just may be because you haven't given them enough time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/randy-pausch/when-you-re-frustrated-with-people-when-they-ve-made-you-angry-it/) [Randy Pausch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/randy-pausch/) > [When I was writing 'Black Panther,' on one level, I was angry because DC would never let me write 'Batman,' so I was doing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-priest/when-i-was-writing-black-panther-on-one-level-i-was-angry-because-dc/) [Christopher Priest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-priest/) > [Another step had her backed up against the wall, and he braced his arms on both sides of her. 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