---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When we can't hurt our enemies, we hurt…"
description: "\"“When we can't hurt our enemies, we hurt our friends.”\" — John le Carré"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/295/john-le-carre-651_enemies_when-we-can-t-hurt-our-enemies-we-hurt-o_2570769.jpg"
---

#  When we can't hurt our enemies, we hurt our friends.

![“When we can't hurt our enemies, we hurt our friends.” quote by John le Carré](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/295/john-le-carre-651_enemies_when-we-can-t-hurt-our-enemies-we-hurt-o_2570769.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/295/john-le-carre-651_enemies_when-we-can-t-hurt-our-enemies-we-hurt-o_2570769.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/295/john-le-carre-651_enemies_when-we-can-t-hurt-our-enemies-we-hurt-o_2570769.jpg)

> ““When we can't hurt our enemies, we hurt our friends.””

[John le Carré](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

When direct harm is impossible, we may turn aggression toward those close to us, betraying trust.

**In simple terms:** If we can't hurt enemies, we may hurt friends.

Key Takeaway

Guard relationships against misplaced aggression.

Themes

trust betrayal conflict morality

Mood

tense reflective

Type

cautionary philosophical

When to use this quote

- personal relationships
- workplace dynamics
- political strategy

Key Concepts

psychology ethical dilemmas human behavior

Questions to Reflect On

- Who are you protecting when you lash out?
- How can you redirect aggression constructively?

A Different Perspective

It assumes enemies are clearly defined and may ignore systemic oppression.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Enemies](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/enemies/) [Friend](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friend/) [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/)

## Related quotes

> [In politics, your enemies cant hurt you, but your friends will kill you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/azgraybebly-joslan/in-politics-your-enemies-cant-hurt-you-but-your-friends-will-kill-you/)

Azgraybebly Joslan

> [I've always said that in politics, your enemies can't hurt you, but your friends will kill you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-richards/i-ve-always-said-that-in-politics-your-enemies-can-t-hurt-you-but/)

[Ann Richards](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-richards/)

> [In The Time Of Crisis, i was Not Hurt By The Harsh words of My Enemies, But I was Hurt By The Silence Of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/in-the-time-of-crisis-i-was-not-hurt-by-the-harsh-words-of-my-enemies-2/)

[Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/)

> [When you try to hurt your enemies, you only end up hurting your love ones over and over again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-mark/when-you-try-to-hurt-your-enemies-you-only-end-up-hurting-your-love/)

[Terry Mark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-mark/)

> [Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dale-carnegie/let-s-never-try-to-get-even-with-our-enemies-because-if-we-do-we-will/)

[Dale Carnegie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dale-carnegie/)

> [“Lack of confidence in yourself, Can allow your enemies to hurt you easily.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikita-dudani/lack-of-confidence-in-yourself-can-allow-your-enemies-to-hurt-you/)

[Nikita Dudani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikita-dudani/)

> [“Expectations hurt more than enemies.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amit-kalantri/expectations-hurt-more-than-enemies/)

[Amit Kalantri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amit-kalantri/)

> [“You may see your grudges hurt you more than they hurt your enemies.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-lu/you-may-see-your-grudges-hurt-you-more-than-they-hurt-your-enemies/)

Thomas Lu

> [I wont curse or hurt my enemies...i will let karma have that pleasure](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernajoy-vaal/i-wont-curse-or-hurt-my-enemies-i-will-let-karma-have-that-pleasure/)

[Bernajoy Vaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernajoy-vaal/)

> [When there is no enemy within, the enemies cannot hurt you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-there-is-no-enemy-within-the-enemies-cannot-hurt-you/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Love ones can hurt you more than your enemies](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-michael-rolle/love-ones-can-hurt-you-more-than-your-enemies/)

Jerry Michael Rolle

> [After Break up . . . .We can't Be Friends As we have Hurt Each other, . We can't Be Enemies As Once we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aaron-cchan-2/after-break-up-we-can-t-be-friends-as-we-have-hurt-each-other-we-can/)

AaRon\_CcHan

> [Hurt me and I'll fight back, hurt my friends and I'll punch you, hurt my loved ones and they won't be able to recognize…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rose-hathway/hurt-me-and-i-ll-fight-back-hurt-my-friends-and-i-ll-punch-you-hurt/)

[Rose Hathway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rose-hathway/)

> [Didn't realize how bad being the other woman was until the other woman hurt my friends...working on a better me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/didn-t-realize-how-bad-being-the-other-woman-was-until-the-other/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Never hurt your friends, not even in a joke.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/never-hurt-your-friends-not-even-in-a-joke/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

## More by John le Carré

> [The creation of George Smiley, the retired spy recalled to hunt for just such a high-ranking mole in 'Tinker, Tailor,' was extremely personal. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/the-creation-of-george-smiley-the-retired-spy-recalled-to-hunt-for/)

[John le Carre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

> [All power corrupts but some must govern.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/all-power-corrupts-but-some-must-govern/)

[John le Carre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

> [During the Cold War, we lived in coded times when it wasn't easy and there were shades of grey and ambiguity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/during-the-cold-war-we-lived-in-coded-times-when-it-wasn-t-easy-and/)

[John le Carre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

> [“You're history, Donohue. You think countries run the fucking world! Go back to fucking Sunday school. It's 'God save our multinational' they're singing these…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/you-re-history-donohue-you-think-countries-run-the-fucking-world-go/)

[John le Carré](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

> [When you're my age and you see a story, you better go for it pretty quickly. I'd just like to get a few more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/when-you-re-my-age-and-you-see-a-story-you-better-go-for-it-pretty/)

[John le Carre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

> [The trouble is, when professional spies go out of their way to make a definitive statement about one of their own, the public tends…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/the-trouble-is-when-professional-spies-go-out-of-their-way-to-make-a/)

[John le Carre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

> [Ideologies have no heart of their own. They're the whores and angels of our striving selves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/ideologies-have-no-heart-of-their-own-they-re-the-whores-and-angels/)

[John le Carre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

> [Home's where you go when you run out of homes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/home-s-where-you-go-when-you-run-out-of-homes/)

[John le Carre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

> [“Pain observed is journalistic pain. It's diplomatic pain. It's television pain, over as soon as you switch off your beastly set.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/pain-observed-is-journalistic-pain-it-s-diplomatic-pain-it-s/)

[John le Carré](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

> [The greatest threat to mankind comes from the renunciation of individual scruple in favor of institutional denominators. . . . Real heroism lies, as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/the-greatest-threat-to-mankind-comes-from-the-renunciation-of/)

[John le Carre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

> [“and the wood smoke will roll out of the fireplace on to the carpet we paid too much for on that rainy afternoon in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/and-the-wood-smoke-will-roll-out-of-the-fireplace-on-to-the-carpet-we/)

[John le Carré](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

> [“Middle children weep longer than their brothers and sisters. Over her mother’s shoulder, stilling her pains and her injured pride, Jackie Lacon watched the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/middle-children-weep-longer-than-their-brothers-and-sisters-over-her/)

[John le Carré](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

> [For decades to come the spy world will continue to be the collective couch where the subconscious of each nation is confessed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/for-decades-to-come-the-spy-world-will-continue-to-be-the-collective/)

[John le Carre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

> [I happen to write by hand. I don't even type. John Le Carre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/i-happen-to-write-by-hand-i-don-t-even-type-john-le-carre/)

[John Le Carre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

> [The more identities a man has, the more they express the person they conceal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/the-more-identities-a-man-has-the-more-they-express-the-person-they/)

[John le Carre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

[Explore all 409 John le Carré quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/)

## More Enemies quotes

> [“Never let your Enemies become your Advocates.” by A. K. Hasan”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-k-hasan/never-let-your-enemies-become-your-advocates-by-a-k-hasan/)

A.K. Hasan

> [I don't see why we and the Chinese should have to be enemies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/indira-gandhi/i-don-t-see-why-we-and-the-chinese-should-have-to-be-enemies/)

[Indira Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/indira-gandhi/)

> [“If it takes night to make day, pain to know pleasure, black to make white, then doesn't it stand to reason that the depth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-snyder/if-it-takes-night-to-make-day-pain-to-know-pleasure-black-to-make/)

Michael Snyder

> [“Enemies Teach. Friends Preach.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tapan-ghosh/enemies-teach-friends-preach/)

[Tapan Ghosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tapan-ghosh/)

> [Your greatest weapon is your enemies mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/buddha/your-greatest-weapon-is-your-enemies-mind/)

[Buddha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/buddha/)

> [“THE UNFORGIVEN Tell me if you've ever had to deal with these kinds of people: The kind who take and don't give. The kind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzy-kassem/the-unforgiven-tell-me-if-you-ve-ever-had-to-deal-with-these-kinds-of/)

[Suzy Kassem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzy-kassem/)

> [Sometimes even paranoids have enemies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/delmore-schwartz/sometimes-even-paranoids-have-enemies/)

[Delmore Schwartz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/delmore-schwartz/)

> [When a husband brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/molly-mcgee/when-a-husband-brings-his-wife-flowers-for-no-reason-there-s-a-reason/)

Molly McGee

> [You should never hate anyone, even your worst enemies. Everyone has something good about them. You have to find the redeeming quality and love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeannette-walls/you-should-never-hate-anyone-even-your-worst-enemies-everyone-has/)

[Jeannette Walls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeannette-walls/)

> [“Anyone who is portraying Israel as a friend is a servant of Israel. I warn some sides against turning enemies into friends and friends…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sayed-hassan-nasrallah/anyone-who-is-portraying-israel-as-a-friend-is-a-servant-of-israel-i/)

[Sayed Hassan Nasrallah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sayed-hassan-nasrallah/)

> [No accurate thinker will judge another person by that which the other person's enemies say about him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/napoleon-hill/no-accurate-thinker-will-judge-another-person-by-that-which-the-other/)

[Napoleon Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/napoleon-hill/)

> [Whoever will not love his enemies cannot know the Lord and the sweetness of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit teaches us to love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/silouan-the-athonite/whoever-will-not-love-his-enemies-cannot-know-the-lord-and-the/)

[Silouan the Athonite](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/silouan-the-athonite/)

> [I play basketball hard-nosed and if you're not on my team, during that 48 minutes we're enemies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-barnes/i-play-basketball-hard-nosed-and-if-you-re-not-on-my-team-during-that/)

[Matt Barnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-barnes/)

> [“Enemies are people who's story you haven't heard, or who's face you haven't seen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irene-butter/enemies-are-people-who-s-story-you-haven-t-heard-or-who-s-face-you/)

Irene Butter

> [A sweet thing, perspective - a chance to see your enemies so small.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stanislaw-jerzy-lec/a-sweet-thing-perspective-a-chance-to-see-your-enemies-so-small/)

[Stanislaw Jerzy Lec](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stanislaw-jerzy-lec/)

[Browse all 1,888 Enemies quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/enemies/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“When we can't hurt our enemies, we hurt our friends.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "John le Carré"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/when-we-can-t-hurt-our-enemies-we-hurt-our-friends/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Enemies"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/when-we-can-t-hurt-our-enemies-we-hurt-our-friends/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/295/john-le-carre-651_enemies_when-we-can-t-hurt-our-enemies-we-hurt-o_2570769.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/295/john-le-carre-651_enemies_when-we-can-t-hurt-our-enemies-we-hurt-o_2570769.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/295/john-le-carre-651_enemies_when-we-can-t-hurt-our-enemies-we-hurt-o_2570769.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“When we can't hurt our enemies, we hurt our friends.” — John le Carré",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "John le Carré",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-le-carre/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“When we can't hurt our enemies,...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/when-we-can-t-hurt-our-enemies-we-hurt-our-friends/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-le-carre/when-we-can-t-hurt-our-enemies-we-hurt-our-friends/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
