--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: In our hearts... there must abide some…" description: "\"In our hearts... there must abide some pity for those people who have always felt themselves to be separate from even their most familiar surroundings,..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/575/john-irving-337_certain_in-our-hearts-there-must-abide-some-pity_1882471.jpg" --- # In our hearts... there must abide some pity for those… ![“In our hearts... there must abide some pity for those people who have always felt themselves to be separate from even their most familiar surroundings, those people who either are foreigners or who suffer a singular point of view that makes them feel as if they’re foreigners - even in their native…” quote by John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/575/john-irving-337_certain_in-our-hearts-there-must-abide-some-pity_1882471.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/575/john-irving-337_certain_in-our-hearts-there-must-abide-some-pity_1882471.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/575/john-irving-337_certain_in-our-hearts-there-must-abide-some-pity_1882471.jpg) > “In our hearts... there must abide some pity for those people who have always felt themselves to be separate from even their most familiar surroundings, those people who either are foreigners or who suffer a singular point of view that makes them feel as if they’re foreigners - even in their native lands. In our hearts... there also abides a certain suspicion that such people need to feel set apart from their society. But people who initiate loneliness are no less lonely than those who are suddenly surprised by loneliness, nor are they undeserving of our pity.” [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Empathy for outsiders is needed, yet we also suspect they are different; both loneliness and pity are complex. **In simple terms:** Feel for those who seem foreign, even at home. Key Takeaway Cultivate empathy without othering. Themes empathy loneliness otherness identity Mood thoughtful compassionate Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - immigrant support - mental health outreach - community building - personal relationships Key Concepts social psychology inclusion human connection Questions to Reflect On - How can you truly support those who feel isolated? - What actions foster genuine inclusion? A Different Perspective Overemphasis on pity can patronize rather than empower. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Certain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/certain/) [Familiar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/familiar/) [Feel Foreigners](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel-foreigners-2667218/) [Feels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/) [Felt Separate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/felt-separate-605762/) [Foreigners](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/foreigners/) [Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heart/) [Initiate Loneliness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/initiate-loneliness-2667219/) [Land](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/land/) [Loneliness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loneliness/) [Lonely](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lonely/) [Native](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/native/) [Needs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/needs/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [People Felt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people-felt/) [Pity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pity/) [Point of view](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/point-of-view/) [Suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suffering/) [Surprised Loneliness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/surprised-loneliness-2667220/) [Surroundings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/surroundings/) [Suspicion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suspicion/) [Undeserving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/undeserving/) [Views](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/views/) ## Related quotes > [“As soon as I was old enough to have a feeling about it, I felt like I was alone. No matter how much I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-pascale/as-soon-as-i-was-old-enough-to-have-a-feeling-about-it-i-felt-like-i/) [Amy Pascale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-pascale/) > [“Never have I felt so separate from her. And I regret to say that there were moments when my deep and loving pity for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dodie-smith/never-have-i-felt-so-separate-from-her-and-i-regret-to-say-that-there/) [Dodie Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dodie-smith/) > [“None of this is important in itself, but I feel somewhere that it has a lot to do with why I have always felt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/none-of-this-is-important-in-itself-but-i-feel-somewhere-that-it-has-2/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [For years I've wanted to live according to everyone else's morals. I've forced myself to live like everyone else, to look like everyone else.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-camus/for-years-i-ve-wanted-to-live-according-to-everyone-else-s-morals-i/) [Albert Camus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-camus/) > [“None of this is important in itself, but I feel somewhere that it has a lot to do with why I have always felt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/none-of-this-is-important-in-itself-but-i-feel-somewhere-that-it-has/) [Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/) > [All through it, I have known myself to be quite undeserving. And yet I have had the weakness, and have still the weakness, to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-dickens/all-through-it-i-have-known-myself-to-be-quite-undeserving-and-yet-i/) [Charles Dickens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-dickens/) > [Grace is the good pleasure of God that inclines him to bestow benefits on the undeserving.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aiden-wilson-tozer/grace-is-the-good-pleasure-of-god-that-inclines-him-to-bestow/) [Aiden Wilson Tozer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aiden-wilson-tozer/) > [In addition to encouraging us to participate in narratives of "deservingness" that cast large parts of our constituencies as "undeserving," legal reform strategies encourage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-spade/in-addition-to-encouraging-us-to-participate-in-narratives-of/) [Dean Spade](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-spade/) > [“I, who am altogether undeserving, am treated as if I had been deserving.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-h-spurgeon/i-who-am-altogether-undeserving-am-treated-as-if-i-had-been-deserving/) [Charles H. Spurgeon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-h-spurgeon/) > [Grace is unconditional acceptance given to an undeserving person by an unobligated giver.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tullian-tchividjian/grace-is-unconditional-acceptance-given-to-an-undeserving-person-by/) [Tullian Tchividjian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tullian-tchividjian/) > [“there is only one solitude, and it is great and is not easy to bear, and to almost everyone there come hours when they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rainer-maria-rilke/there-is-only-one-solitude-and-it-is-great-and-is-not-easy-to-bear/) [Rainer Maria Rilke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rainer-maria-rilke/) > [Boy, I feel more and more undeserving each moment !!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hrithik-roshan/boy-i-feel-more-and-more-undeserving-each-moment/) [Hrithik Roshan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hrithik-roshan/) > [She explained that many people, but especially women, feel fraudulent when they are praised for their accomplishments. Instead of feeling worthy of recognition, they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheryl-sandberg/she-explained-that-many-people-but-especially-women-feel-fraudulent/) [Sheryl Sandberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheryl-sandberg/) > [“Jesus came to give his righteousness not to condemn the unrighteous.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mac-canoza/jesus-came-to-give-his-righteousness-not-to-condemn-the-unrighteous/) [Mac Canoza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mac-canoza/) > [Grow up? Get herself straightened out? Her mind reeled from the verbal battering. No matter what she did, her father would tell her she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-dekker/grow-up-get-herself-straightened-out-her-mind-reeled-from-the-verbal/) [Ted Dekker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-dekker/) ## More by John Irving > [Your memory is a monster; you forget - it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/your-memory-is-a-monster-you-forget-it-doesn-t-it-simply-files-things/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [Our memory is a monster; you forget it - it does not.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/our-memory-is-a-monster-you-forget-it-it-does-not/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [… and so he tried to accept the ache in his heart as what Dr. Larch would call the common symptoms of normal life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/and-so-he-tried-to-accept-the-ache-in-his-heart-as-what-dr-larch/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [Watch out for people who call themselves religious; make sure you know what they mean––make sure they know what they mean!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/watch-out-for-people-who-call-themselves-religious-make-sure-you-know/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [The desire to never leave your side, the desire to never see you again. The desire to see your face asleep on the pillow…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/the-desire-to-never-leave-your-side-the-desire-to-never-see-you-again/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [I had been a student in Vienna, and one of the neat little things I had found out was about that zoo. It was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/i-had-been-a-student-in-vienna-and-one-of-the-neat-little-things-i/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [“God, I think I just hit a high E-flat - and I really held it!" Esmeralda said, after one of her more prolonged orgasms,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/god-i-think-i-just-hit-a-high-e-flat-and-i-really-held-it-esmeralda/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [“Nostalgia!" Miss Frost cried. "You´re nostalgic!" She repeated. "Just how old are you, William?" She asked. "Seventeen, " I told her. "Seventeen!" Miss Frost…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/nostalgia-miss-frost-cried-you-re-nostalgic-she-repeated-just-how-old/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [ “JUST BECAUSE A BUNCH OF ATHEISTS ARE BETTER WRITERS THAN THE GUYS WHO WROTE THE BIBLE DOESN'T NECESSARILY MAKE THEM RIGHT!" \[Owen Meany\] said… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/just-because-a-bunch-of-atheists-are-better-writers-than-the-guys-who/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [It is much easier to be flexible about where a story begins than it ever was for me to change my mind about where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/it-is-much-easier-to-be-flexible-about-where-a-story-begins-than-it/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [“Only the chicken-lover will understand me. He will give me a kindly look, maybe mildly desirous. His eyes will tell me: You might look…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/only-the-chicken-lover-will-understand-me-he-will-give-me-a-kindly/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [You're nice,' Cushie told him, squeezing his hand. 'And you're my oldest friend.' But they both must have known that you can know someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/you-re-nice-cushie-told-him-squeezing-his-hand-and-you-re-my-oldest/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [“Because of A Prayer for Owen Meany, many of my readers assume I am “religious.” I go to church only occasionally—like a lot of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/because-of-a-prayer-for-owen-meany-many-of-my-readers-assume-i-am/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [“Did anyone who was in love and was unsatisfied with how he was loved in return ever feel saved?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/did-anyone-who-was-in-love-and-was-unsatisfied-with-how-he-was-loved/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [“I TRUST THAT GOD WILL HELP ME, BECAUSE WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO LOOKS VERY HARD.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/i-trust-that-god-will-help-me-because-what-i-m-supposed-to-do-looks/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) [Explore all 641 John Irving quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) ## More Certain quotes > [I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-lusseyran/i-am-certain-that-children-always-know-more-than-they-are-able-to/) [Jacques Lusseyran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-lusseyran/) > [One can put some trust in the gratitude of a sovereign, and also in that of his family; under certain conditions, one can even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/otto-von-bismarck/one-can-put-some-trust-in-the-gratitude-of-a-sovereign-and-also-in/) [Otto von Bismarck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/otto-von-bismarck/) > [For successful education there must always be a certain freshness in the knowledge dealt with. It must be either new in itself or invested…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfred-north-whitehead/for-successful-education-there-must-always-be-a-certain-freshness-in/) [Alfred North Whitehead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfred-north-whitehead/) > [People don't always realize that a record is forever. It'll always be there under your name. You've got to be certain that it's right.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-iero/people-don-t-always-realize-that-a-record-is-forever-it-ll-always-be/) [Frank Iero](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-iero/) > [Faith gives you a certain structure and meaning to your life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/riffat-hassan/faith-gives-you-a-certain-structure-and-meaning-to-your-life/) [Riffat Hassan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/riffat-hassan/) > [I started out dancing on a reality TV show, but always with the intention of making my way over to film. I transitioned into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julianne-hough/i-started-out-dancing-on-a-reality-tv-show-but-always-with-the/) [Julianne Hough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julianne-hough/) > [One of the deepest and strangest of all human moods is the mood which will suddenly strike us perhaps in a garden at night,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/one-of-the-deepest-and-strangest-of-all-human-moods-is-the-mood-which/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [A dialogue is very important. It is a form of communication in which question and answer continue till a question is left without an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jiddu-krishnamurti/a-dialogue-is-very-important-it-is-a-form-of-communication-in-which/) [Jiddu Krishnamurti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jiddu-krishnamurti/) > [I mean those people who are interested in good government will certainly contribute in order to make certain there's some counter-balance to those whose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-breyer/i-mean-those-people-who-are-interested-in-good-government-will/) [Stephen Breyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-breyer/) > [Why do we love certain homes, and why do they seem to love us? It is the warmth of our individual hearts reflected in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-h-robsjohn-gibbings/why-do-we-love-certain-homes-and-why-do-they-seem-to-love-us-it-is/) [T. H. Robsjohn-Gibbings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-h-robsjohn-gibbings/) > [Human life consists of doing certain things ... to take part in the life of the community; to be able to talk about subjects…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amartya-sen/human-life-consists-of-doing-certain-things-to-take-part-in-the-life/) [Amartya Sen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amartya-sen/) > [We've all seen talented young players who get to a certain level but there comes a point where that talent will only take you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-gatland/we-ve-all-seen-talented-young-players-who-get-to-a-certain-level-but/) [Warren Gatland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-gatland/) > [The concept of humanity is an especially useful ideological instrument of imperialist expansion, and in its ethical-humanitarian form it is a specific vehicle of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-schmitt/the-concept-of-humanity-is-an-especially-useful-ideological/) [Carl Schmitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-schmitt/) > [I think that at a certain age, say fifteen or sixteen, poetry is like masturbation. But later in life good poets burn their early…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/umberto-eco/i-think-that-at-a-certain-age-say-fifteen-or-sixteen-poetry-is-like/) [Umberto Eco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/umberto-eco/) > [If a person does not listen to the demands of their own spiritual and heart life and insists on a certain program, you're going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-campbell/if-a-person-does-not-listen-to-the-demands-of-their-own-spiritual-and/) [Joseph Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-campbell/) [Browse all 13,673 Certain quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/certain/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "In our hearts... there must abide some pity for those people who have always felt themselves to be separate from even their most familiar surroundings, those people who either are foreigners or who suffer a singular point of view that makes them feel as if they’re foreigners - even in their native lands. In our hearts... there also abides a certain suspicion that such people need to feel set apart from their society. But people who initiate loneliness are no less lonely than those who are suddenly surprised by loneliness, nor are they undeserving of our pity.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Irving" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/in-our-hearts-there-must-abide-some-pity-for-those-people-who-have/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Certain" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/in-our-hearts-there-must-abide-some-pity-for-those-people-who-have/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/575/john-irving-337_certain_in-our-hearts-there-must-abide-some-pity_1882471.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/575/john-irving-337_certain_in-our-hearts-there-must-abide-some-pity_1882471.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/575/john-irving-337_certain_in-our-hearts-there-must-abide-some-pity_1882471.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In our hearts... there must abide some pity for those people who have always felt themselves to be separate…” — John Irving", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "John Irving", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "In our hearts... there must abide...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/in-our-hearts-there-must-abide-some-pity-for-those-people-who-have/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/in-our-hearts-there-must-abide-some-pity-for-those-people-who-have/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```