--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: How did you even get in here?” I asked…" description: "\"“How did you even get in here?” I asked him. “Would you believe they leave the door open all night?” Gus asked. “Um, no,” I said. “As well you shouldn’..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1a3/john-green-12_augustus-waters_how-did-you-even-get-in-here-i-asked-him_742238.jpg" --- # How did you even get in here?” I asked him. “Would you… ![“How did you even get in here?” I asked him. “Would you believe they leave the door open all night?” Gus asked. “Um, no,” I said. “As well you shouldn’t.” Gus smiled. “Anyway, I know it’s a bit self-aggrandizing.” “Hey, you’re stealing my eulogy,” Isaac said. “My first bit is about how you were a…” quote by John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1a3/john-green-12_augustus-waters_how-did-you-even-get-in-here-i-asked-him_742238.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1a3/john-green-12_augustus-waters_how-did-you-even-get-in-here-i-asked-him_742238.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1a3/john-green-12_augustus-waters_how-did-you-even-get-in-here-i-asked-him_742238.jpg) > ““How did you even get in here?” I asked him. “Would you believe they leave the door open all night?” Gus asked. “Um, no,” I said. “As well you shouldn’t.” Gus smiled. “Anyway, I know it’s a bit self-aggrandizing.” “Hey, you’re stealing my eulogy,” Isaac said. “My first bit is about how you were a self-aggrandizing bastard.” I laughed. “Okay, okay,” Gus said. “At your leisure.” Isaac cleared his throat. “Augustus Waters was a self-aggrandizing bastard. But we forgive him. We forgive him not because he had a heart as figuratively good as his literal one sucked, or because he knew more about how to hold a cigarette than any nonsmoker in history, or because he got eighteen years when he should have gotten more.” “Seventeen,” Gus corrected. “I’m assuming you’ve got some time, you interrupting bastard. “I’m telling you,” Isaac continued, “Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interrupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious: Sweet Jesus Christ, that kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphorical resonances of human waste production. And he was vain: I do not believe I have ever met a more physically attractive person who was more acutely aware of his own physical attractiveness. “But I will say this: When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him.” I was kind of crying by then. “And then, having made my rhetorical point, I will put my robot eyes on, because I mean, with robot eyes you can probably see through girls’ shirts and stuff. Augustus, my friend, Godspeed.” Augustus nodded for a while, his lips pursed, and then gave Isaac a thumbs-up. After he’d recovered his composure, he added, “I would cut the bit about seeing through girls’ shirts.” Isaac was still clinging to the lectern. He started to cry. He pressed his forehead down to the podium and I watched his shoulders shake, and then finally, he said, “Goddamn it, Augustus, editing your own eulogy.” “Don’t swear in the Literal Heart of Jesus,” Gus said. “Goddamn it,” Isaac said again. He raised his head and swallowed. “Hazel, can I get a hand here?” I’d forgotten he couldn’t make his own way back to the circle. I got up, placed his hand on my arm, and walked him slowly back to the chair next to Gus where I’d been sitting. Then I walked up to the podium and unfolded the piece of paper on which I’d printed my eulogy. “My name is Hazel. Augustus Waters was the great star-crossed love of my life. Ours was an epic love story, and I won’t be able to get more than a sentence into it without disappearing into a puddle of tears. Gus knew. Gus knows. I will not tell you our love story, because—like all real love stories—it will die with us, as it should. I’d hoped that he’d be eulogizing me, because there’s no one I’d rather have…” I started crying. “Okay, how not to cry. How am I—okay. Okay.” I took a few breaths and went back to the page. “I can’t talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this: There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There’s .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set.”” [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A character reflects on self‑importance, mortality, and the desire to be remembered while confronting absurdity and vulnerability. **In simple terms:** A person jokes about being self‑grandiose and confronting death. Key Takeaway Embrace humility and cherish connections. Themes mortality humor self‑reflection friendship Mood bitancholy reflective witty Type literary dialogue philosophical When to use this quote - funeral speeches - friendship moments - creative writing - personal loss - technology ethics Key Concepts existentialism irony celebrity identity Questions to Reflect On - How does humor help cope with loss? - When does self‑importance become harmful? A Different Perspective The humor may downplay genuine grief. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Augustus waters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/augustus-waters/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love of my life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-of-my-life/) [Love story](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-story/) ## Related quotes > [You’re joining us for dinner, I hope?” asked his mom. She was small and brunette and vaguely mousy. “I guess?” I said. “I have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/you-re-joining-us-for-dinner-i-hope-asked-his-mom-she-was-small-and/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“Also I don't, um, eat meat?" "No problem. We'll vegetarianize some," she said. "Animals are just too cute?" Gus asked. "I want to minimize…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/also-i-don-t-um-eat-meat-no-problem-we-ll-vegetarianize-some-she-said/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“The Park?" Gus asked skeptically, following him out of Kali's building and across the empty street. "The place with the homicidal poodle pack and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tui-t-sutherland/the-park-gus-asked-skeptically-following-him-out-of-kali-s-building/) [Tui T. Sutherland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tui-t-sutherland/) > [“I imagined the Augustus Waters analysis of that comment: If I am playing basketball in heaven, does that imply a physical location of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-imagined-the-augustus-waters-analysis-of-that-comment-if-i-am/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“its a metephor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth but you dont give it the power to do its killing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/its-a-metephor-see-you-put-the-killing-thing-right-between-your-teeth/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“I called Isaac, who cursed life and the universe and God Himself and who said where are the goddamned trophies to break when you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-called-isaac-who-cursed-life-and-the-universe-and-god-himself-and/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“What a slut time is. She screws with everybody.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/what-a-slut-time-is-she-screws-with-everybody/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“The walk felt long, but I kept telling my lungs to shut up, that they were strong, that they could do this. I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/the-walk-felt-long-but-i-kept-telling-my-lungs-to-shut-up-that-they/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-cannot-tell-you-how-thankful-i-am-for-our-little-infinity/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [According to the conventions of the genre, Augustus Waters kept his sense of humor till the end, did not for a moment waiver in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/according-to-the-conventions-of-the-genre-augustus-waters-kept-his/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“Augustus Waters was a self-aggrandizing bastard. But we forgive him. We forgive him not because he had a heart as figuratively good as his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/augustus-waters-was-a-self-aggrandizing-bastard-but-we-forgive-him-we/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“he got eighteen years when he should have gotten more.” “Seventeen,” Gus corrected. “I’m assuming you’ve got some time, you interrupting bastard. “I’m telling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/he-got-eighteen-years-when-he-should-have-gotten-more-seventeen-gus/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [Maybe 'okay' will be our 'always](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/maybe-okay-will-be-our-always/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [I believe humans have souls, and I believe in the conservation of souls.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-believe-humans-have-souls-and-i-believe-in-the-conservation-of-souls/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [Issac:"I dislike living in a world without Augustus Waters." Computer: "I don't understand-" Issac: "Me neither. Pause](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/issac-i-dislike-living-in-a-world-without-augustus-waters-computer-i/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) ## More by John Green > [Issac:"I dislike living in a world without Augustus Waters." Computer: "I don't understand-" Issac: "Me neither. Pause](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/issac-i-dislike-living-in-a-world-without-augustus-waters-computer-i/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“I just want to stay away from people and read books and think”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-just-want-to-stay-away-from-people-and-read-books-and-think/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [She smiled with all the delight of a kid on Christmas morning and said, "Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die." -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/she-smiled-with-all-the-delight-of-a-kid-on-christmas-morning-and/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [A Margo for each of us--and each more mirror than window.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/a-margo-for-each-of-us-and-each-more-mirror-than-window/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“No one ever says good-bye unless they want to see you again.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/no-one-ever-says-good-bye-unless-they-want-to-see-you-again/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [Neither novels or their readers benefit from any attempts to divine whether any facts hide inside a story. 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I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/so-i-was-ugly-i-was-never-fat-really-and-i-never-wore-headgear-or-had/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [Nothing has ever looked like that ever in all of human history.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/nothing-has-ever-looked-like-that-ever-in-all-of-human-history/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“said to him quietly, as if I couldn’t hear or something. Dad was about to respond but I interrupted.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/said-to-him-quietly-as-if-i-couldn-t-hear-or-something-dad-was-about/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [I believe humans have souls, and I believe in the conservation of souls.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-believe-humans-have-souls-and-i-believe-in-the-conservation-of-souls/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“He was hot. A nonhotboy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/he-was-hot-a-nonhotboy-stares-at-you-relentlessly-and-it-is-at-best/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [I think if you keep the box closed long enough you do kill the cat, actually.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-think-if-you-keep-the-box-closed-long-enough-you-do-kill-the-cat/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. (...) You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/imagining-the-future-is-a-kind-of-nostalgia-you-spend-your-whole-life/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) [Explore all 3,614 John Green quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) ## More Augustus waters quotes > [Issac:"I dislike living in a world without Augustus Waters." Computer: "I don't understand-" Issac: "Me neither. Pause](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/issac-i-dislike-living-in-a-world-without-augustus-waters-computer-i/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [I believe humans have souls, and I believe in the conservation of souls.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-believe-humans-have-souls-and-i-believe-in-the-conservation-of-souls/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [Maybe 'okay' will be our 'always](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/maybe-okay-will-be-our-always/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“he got eighteen years when he should have gotten more.” “Seventeen,” Gus corrected. “I’m assuming you’ve got some time, you interrupting bastard. “I’m telling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/he-got-eighteen-years-when-he-should-have-gotten-more-seventeen-gus/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“Augustus Waters was a self-aggrandizing bastard. But we forgive him. We forgive him not because he had a heart as figuratively good as his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/augustus-waters-was-a-self-aggrandizing-bastard-but-we-forgive-him-we/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [According to the conventions of the genre, Augustus Waters kept his sense of humor till the end, did not for a moment waiver in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/according-to-the-conventions-of-the-genre-augustus-waters-kept-his/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-cannot-tell-you-how-thankful-i-am-for-our-little-infinity/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“The walk felt long, but I kept telling my lungs to shut up, that they were strong, that they could do this. I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/the-walk-felt-long-but-i-kept-telling-my-lungs-to-shut-up-that-they/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“What a slut time is. She screws with everybody.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/what-a-slut-time-is-she-screws-with-everybody/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“I called Isaac, who cursed life and the universe and God Himself and who said where are the goddamned trophies to break when you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-called-isaac-who-cursed-life-and-the-universe-and-god-himself-and/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“its a metephor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth but you dont give it the power to do its killing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/its-a-metephor-see-you-put-the-killing-thing-right-between-your-teeth/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“I imagined the Augustus Waters analysis of that comment: If I am playing basketball in heaven, does that imply a physical location of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-imagined-the-augustus-waters-analysis-of-that-comment-if-i-am/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [All at once, I couldn’t figure out why I was methodically tossing a spherical object through a toroidal object. It seemed like the stupidest…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/all-at-once-i-couldn-t-figure-out-why-i-was-methodically-tossing-a/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“You don't get to chose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/you-don-t-get-to-chose-if-you-get-hurt-in-this-world-old-man-but-you/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [“Augustus Waters was a self-aggrandizing bastard. But we forgive him. We forgive him not because he had a heart as figuratively good as his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/augustus-waters-was-a-self-aggrandizing-bastard-but-we-forgive-him-we-2/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) [Browse all 122 Augustus waters quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/augustus-waters/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“How did you even get in here?” I asked him. “Would you believe they leave the door open all night?” Gus asked. “Um, no,” I said. “As well you shouldn’t.” Gus smiled. “Anyway, I know it’s a bit self-aggrandizing.” “Hey, you’re stealing my eulogy,” Isaac said. “My first bit is about how you were a self-aggrandizing bastard.” I laughed. “Okay, okay,” Gus said. “At your leisure.” Isaac cleared his throat. “Augustus Waters was a self-aggrandizing bastard. But we forgive him. We forgive him not because he had a heart as figuratively good as his literal one sucked, or because he knew more about how to hold a cigarette than any nonsmoker in history, or because he got eighteen years when he should have gotten more.” “Seventeen,” Gus corrected. “I’m assuming you’ve got some time, you interrupting bastard. “I’m telling you,” Isaac continued, “Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interrupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious: Sweet Jesus Christ, that kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphorical resonances of human waste production. And he was vain: I do not believe I have ever met a more physically attractive person who was more acutely aware of his own physical attractiveness. “But I will say this: When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him.” I was kind of crying by then. “And then, having made my rhetorical point, I will put my robot eyes on, because I mean, with robot eyes you can probably see through girls’ shirts and stuff. Augustus, my friend, Godspeed.” Augustus nodded for a while, his lips pursed, and then gave Isaac a thumbs-up. After he’d recovered his composure, he added, “I would cut the bit about seeing through girls’ shirts.” Isaac was still clinging to the lectern. He started to cry. He pressed his forehead down to the podium and I watched his shoulders shake, and then finally, he said, “Goddamn it, Augustus, editing your own eulogy.” “Don’t swear in the Literal Heart of Jesus,” Gus said. “Goddamn it,” Isaac said again. He raised his head and swallowed. “Hazel, can I get a hand here?” I’d forgotten he couldn’t make his own way back to the circle. I got up, placed his hand on my arm, and walked him slowly back to the chair next to Gus where I’d been sitting. Then I walked up to the podium and unfolded the piece of paper on which I’d printed my eulogy. “My name is Hazel. Augustus Waters was the great star-crossed love of my life. Ours was an epic love story, and I won’t be able to get more than a sentence into it without disappearing into a puddle of tears. Gus knew. Gus knows. I will not tell you our love story, because—like all real love stories—it will die with us, as it should. I’d hoped that he’d be eulogizing me, because there’s no one I’d rather have…” I started crying. “Okay, how not to cry. How am I—okay. Okay.” I took a few breaths and went back to the page. “I can’t talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this: There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There’s .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Green" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/how-did-you-even-get-in-here-i-asked-him-would-you-believe-they-leave/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Augustus waters" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/how-did-you-even-get-in-here-i-asked-him-would-you-believe-they-leave/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1a3/john-green-12_augustus-waters_how-did-you-even-get-in-here-i-asked-him_742238.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1a3/john-green-12_augustus-waters_how-did-you-even-get-in-here-i-asked-him_742238.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1a3/john-green-12_augustus-waters_how-did-you-even-get-in-here-i-asked-him_742238.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“How did you even get in here?” I asked him. “Would you believe they leave the door open all night?” Gus…” — John Green", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "John Green", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“How did you even get in...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/how-did-you-even-get-in-here-i-asked-him-would-you-believe-they-leave/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/how-did-you-even-get-in-here-i-asked-him-would-you-believe-they-leave/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```