--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Being in school, whenever I laughed or…" description: "\"Being in school, whenever I laughed or smiled, I would turn to find someone staring at me with this terrible hatred and disgust. I had to control every..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/906/john-grant-4412_anxiety_being-in-school-whenever-i-laughed-or-sm_2991919.png" --- # Being in school, whenever I laughed or smiled, I would… ![“Being in school, whenever I laughed or smiled, I would turn to find someone staring at me with this terrible hatred and disgust. I had to control everything - control my voice, control my facial expressions, control my hair and my clothes, and where I walked and where I sat - at every moment. I…” quote by John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/906/john-grant-4412_anxiety_being-in-school-whenever-i-laughed-or-sm_2991919.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/906/john-grant-4412_anxiety_being-in-school-whenever-i-laughed-or-sm_2991919.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/906/john-grant-4412_anxiety_being-in-school-whenever-i-laughed-or-sm_2991919.png) > “Being in school, whenever I laughed or smiled, I would turn to find someone staring at me with this terrible hatred and disgust. I had to control everything - control my voice, control my facial expressions, control my hair and my clothes, and where I walked and where I sat - at every moment. I think that drove me to terrible anxiety.” [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Constant surveillance and judgment in school fostered deep anxiety and self-censorship. **In simple terms:** Being watched caused anxiety and self-control. Key Takeaway Seek environments that allow authentic self-expression. Themes anxiety social pressure identity self-censorship Mood reflective somber Type personal psychological When to use this quote - school settings - public speaking - social media Key Concepts psychology education mental health Questions to Reflect On - What coping strategies help reduce self-censorship? - How can institutions reduce stigma? A Different Perspective External judgment can persist beyond school. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Anxiety](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anxiety/) [Control](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/control/) [Disgust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disgust/) [Every moment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/every-moment/) [Hatred](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hatred/) [School](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/school/) [Voice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/voice/) ## Related quotes > [“We came home to hatred and disgust and…maybe even worse, indifference.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-baldacci/we-came-home-to-hatred-and-disgust-and-maybe-even-worse-indifference/) [David Baldacci](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-baldacci/) > [“All these things we do bespeak a terrible anxiety: that our children simply will not be able to make it through life if we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-warner/all-these-things-we-do-bespeak-a-terrible-anxiety-that-our-children/) [Judith Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-warner/) > [Trains induce such terrible anxiety. They image the possibility of total and irrevocable failure. They are also dirty, rackety, packed with strangers, an object…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/trains-induce-such-terrible-anxiety-they-image-the-possibility-of/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [I criticise myself an awful lot. I do worry to the point that I don't think it's very healthy. I'm always picking my flaws.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roxanne-mckee/i-criticise-myself-an-awful-lot-i-do-worry-to-the-point-that-i-don-t/) [Roxanne McKee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roxanne-mckee/) > [I went through a lot of changes and a period of depression. I'd reached an age when I had to grow up and start…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gianluigi-buffon/i-went-through-a-lot-of-changes-and-a-period-of-depression-i-d/) [Gianluigi Buffon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gianluigi-buffon/) > [“…in that moment, as he saw and smelled how irresistible its effect was and how with lightning speed it spread and made captives of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-s-skind/in-that-moment-as-he-saw-and-smelled-how-irresistible-its-effect-was/) [Patrick Süskind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-s-skind/) > [Love turns, with a little indulgence, to indifference or disgust; hatred alone is immortal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-hazlitt/love-turns-with-a-little-indulgence-to-indifference-or-disgust-hatred/) [William Hazlitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-hazlitt/) > [“He has the look of someone whose soul got up and walked away in disgust a long time ago.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jess-kidd/he-has-the-look-of-someone-whose-soul-got-up-and-walked-away-in/) [Jess Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jess-kidd/) > [He made a sound of disgust in the back of his throat. "Oh thank you so much. That's what every man wants to hear…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/he-made-a-sound-of-disgust-in-the-back-of-his-throat-oh-thank-you-so/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [Of all facial expressions, which is the worst to have aimed at you? Wouldn't you agree it's disgust?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leif-enger/of-all-facial-expressions-which-is-the-worst-to-have-aimed-at-you/) [Leif Enger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leif-enger/) > [Good God, man, what is that smell?" He eyed with disgust the doctor's filthy cloak. "Life," answered the doctor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-yancey/good-god-man-what-is-that-smell-he-eyed-with-disgust-the-doctor-s/) [Rick Yancey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-yancey/) > [Unless an entire row of people got up in the middle of a performance and left the theater in disgust, I felt as though…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-piven/unless-an-entire-row-of-people-got-up-in-the-middle-of-a-performance/) [Jeremy Piven](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-piven/) > [“in my afterword, which discusses the ugliest of all ugly feelings: disgust. As”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sianne-ngai/in-my-afterword-which-discusses-the-ugliest-of-all-ugly-feelings/) [Sianne Ngai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sianne-ngai/) > [“but now that I had finished, the beauty of the dream vanished, and breathless horror and disgust filled my heart”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-shelley/but-now-that-i-had-finished-the-beauty-of-the-dream-vanished-and/) [Mary Shelley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-shelley/) > [“Joe!” he groaned, attempting to speak clearly. “Joe! Good ol’ Joe!” “Captain, you’re drunk!” Lofflin said, stating the obvious while trying to keep his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christina-engela/joe-he-groaned-attempting-to-speak-clearly-joe-good-ol-joe-captain/) [Christina Engela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christina-engela/) ## More by John Grant > [People have always painted me like a pessimist, like somebody who sees the glass half-empty. But I think the fact that I keep showing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/people-have-always-painted-me-like-a-pessimist-like-somebody-who-sees/) [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) > [The most horrifying thing I ever did was work as a steward on an airplane. I wanted to get hired by United. I thought,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/the-most-horrifying-thing-i-ever-did-was-work-as-a-steward-on-an/) [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) > [I don't really experience much embarrassment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/i-don-t-really-experience-much-embarrassment/) [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) > [I have trouble with things like Facebook. It presents such a warped vision. I get sick of people's opinions about every little thing and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/i-have-trouble-with-things-like-facebook-it-presents-such-a-warped/) [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) > [The 1980s were all about synths for me, and it never went away after that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/the-1980s-were-all-about-synths-for-me-and-it-never-went-away-after/) [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) > [I loved the whole New Romantic, New Wave thing... New Order, Soft Cell, Depeche Mode, Gary Numan, Blancmange, Yazoo.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/i-loved-the-whole-new-romantic-new-wave-thing-new-order-soft-cell/) [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) > ['Ernest Borgnine' is sort of my version of Woody Allen's 'Purple Rose Of Cairo' in that it's about the occasional difficulty of coming to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/ernest-borgnine-is-sort-of-my-version-of-woody-allen-s-purple-rose-of/) [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) > [I feel uncomfortable when I think about my father listening to my records, because I don't want to hurt him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/i-feel-uncomfortable-when-i-think-about-my-father-listening-to-my/) [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) > [I don't cry easily.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/i-don-t-cry-easily/) [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) > [I had never considered myself a political guy, but there are certain things I can't shut up about. When I hear people say things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/i-had-never-considered-myself-a-political-guy-but-there-are-certain/) [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) > [The thing is I don't feel like my story is special. I don't feel like it's different to anybody else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/the-thing-is-i-don-t-feel-like-my-story-is-special-i-don-t-feel-like/) [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) > [I think the humor, when applied in the right amount, only serves to intensify the other emotions in a given song; it highlights them,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/i-think-the-humor-when-applied-in-the-right-amount-only-serves-to/) [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) > [I just feel like this guy who's visiting the music business over the weekend. Every time I write a song, I feel like it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/i-just-feel-like-this-guy-who-s-visiting-the-music-business-over-the/) [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) > [I've kept most of my friends for decades, and I continue to make new friends.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/i-ve-kept-most-of-my-friends-for-decades-and-i-continue-to-make-new/) [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) > [I'm very proud that I have learned German and Russian. Especially Russian, because of how difficult and beautiful it is and because of how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/i-m-very-proud-that-i-have-learned-german-and-russian-especially/) [John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) [Explore all 111 John Grant quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/) ## More Anxiety quotes > [“Anything that you find yourself worrying about regularly may find you suddenly wanting unrealistic changes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nagisa-tatsumi/anything-that-you-find-yourself-worrying-about-regularly-may-find-you/) Nagisa Tatsumi > [Bein Crazy is the least of my worries.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kerouac/bein-crazy-is-the-least-of-my-worries/) [Jack Kerouac](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kerouac/) > [The answer to deep anxiety is the deep adoration of God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-voskamp/the-answer-to-deep-anxiety-is-the-deep-adoration-of-god/) [Ann Voskamp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-voskamp/) > [“Fear of seeing a police car pull into the drive. Fear of falling asleep at night. Fear of not falling asleep. Fear of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/raymond-carver/fear-of-seeing-a-police-car-pull-into-the-drive-fear-of-falling/) [Raymond Carver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/raymond-carver/) > [I get nervous when I don't get nervous. If I'm nervous I know I'm going to have a good show.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beyonce-knowles/i-get-nervous-when-i-don-t-get-nervous-if-i-m-nervous-i-know-i-m/) [Beyonce Knowles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beyonce-knowles/) > [“Every invention comes through anxiousness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rakesh-wadhwani/every-invention-comes-through-anxiousness/) [Rakesh Wadhwani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rakesh-wadhwani/) > [“Do Not Be Anxious 25 e “Therefore I tell you,  f do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/do-not-be-anxious-25-e-therefore-i-tell-you-f-do-not-be-anxious-about/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Nothing happens on its own, you have to make things happen. If you really want to come out of your stressful situation than you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/subodh-gupta/nothing-happens-on-its-own-you-have-to-make-things-happen-if-you/) [Subodh Gupta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/subodh-gupta/) > [“I guess if we're talking about my anxiety, the even truthier truth is it started way before that.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-winfrey/i-guess-if-we-re-talking-about-my-anxiety-the-even-truthier-truth-is/) [Kerry Winfrey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-winfrey/) > [I was a very good student. Procrastinating gives me anxiety, and getting a B really ticked me off. Sure, I didn't always want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josie-loren/i-was-a-very-good-student-procrastinating-gives-me-anxiety-and/) [Josie Loren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josie-loren/) > [“The suspense: the fearful, acute suspense: of standing idly by while the life of one we dearly love, is trembling in the balance; the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-dickens/the-suspense-the-fearful-acute-suspense-of-standing-idly-by-while-the/) [Charles Dickens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-dickens/) > [The party in Alobar’s head, which agitation and anxiety were throwing, now was crashed by a notion: existence can be rearranged.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-robbins/the-party-in-alobar-s-head-which-agitation-and-anxiety-were-throwing/) [Tom Robbins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-robbins/) > [As you know, I have been very open about my struggle with social anxiety.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/summer-walker/as-you-know-i-have-been-very-open-about-my-struggle-with-social/) [Summer Walker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/summer-walker/) > [Anxiety is not to be managed it is a sin that needs to be repented of](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-driscoll/anxiety-is-not-to-be-managed-it-is-a-sin-that-needs-to-be-repented-of/) [Mark Driscoll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-driscoll/) > [“I’ve always seen this in you, ever since you were a little girl — this hunger to love other people into their highest selves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-elisabeth/i-ve-always-seen-this-in-you-ever-since-you-were-a-little-girl-this/) [Jennifer Elisabeth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-elisabeth/) [Browse all 4,944 Anxiety quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anxiety/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Being in school, whenever I laughed or smiled, I would turn to find someone staring at me with this terrible hatred and disgust. 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