--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I loved her for what I couldn't…" description: "\"“I loved her for what I couldn't understand about her. Love searches for the mystery in the beloved, seeks the unknowable.”\" — John Dufresne" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbc/john-dufresne-11991_beloved_i-loved-her-for-what-i-couldn-t-understa_538483.png" --- # I loved her for what I couldn't understand about her. Love… ![“I loved her for what I couldn't understand about her. Love searches for the mystery in the beloved, seeks the unknowable.” quote by John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbc/john-dufresne-11991_beloved_i-loved-her-for-what-i-couldn-t-understa_538483.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbc/john-dufresne-11991_beloved_i-loved-her-for-what-i-couldn-t-understa_538483.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbc/john-dufresne-11991_beloved_i-loved-her-for-what-i-couldn-t-understa_538483.png) > ““I loved her for what I couldn't understand about her. Love searches for the mystery in the beloved, seeks the unknowable.”” [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Love thrives on curiosity, seeking aspects of a partner that remain mysterious and beyond full comprehension. **In simple terms:** Love loves mystery. Key Takeaway Embrace the unknown in love. Themes love curiosity mystery Mood reflective romantic Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - dating - long‑term partnership - artistic collaboration Key Concepts philosophy psychology relationships Questions to Reflect On - What mysteries do you cherish in relationships? - When does curiosity become distance? A Different Perspective Obsession with mystery can hinder genuine intimacy. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Beloved](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/beloved/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Understanding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/understanding/) [Unknowable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unknowable/) ## Related quotes > [“She knows what it's like to love someone who cannot love you back. Someone who needs you, holds you, yes, but someone who will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/she-knows-what-it-s-like-to-love-someone-who-cannot-love-you-back/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [Love is always a surprise and you never get it right.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/love-is-always-a-surprise-and-you-never-get-it-right/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [“It wasn't that I wanted to know her now. I wanted to have already known her. I wanted her fears and her desires to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/it-wasn-t-that-i-wanted-to-know-her-now-i-wanted-to-have-already/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [“You make allowances for your family. They may not seem normal to the world but they're normal to you because you've been dealing with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/you-make-allowances-for-your-family-they-may-not-seem-normal-to-the/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [“Judi, a person’s worth isn’t measured by her utility. We’re not tools. We’re here to think. To feel. To be good to each other”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/judi-a-person-s-worth-isn-t-measured-by-her-utility-we-re-not-tools/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [Sacred love is selfless, seeking not its own. The lover serves his beloved and seeks perfect communion of oneness with her.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/d-h-lawrence/sacred-love-is-selfless-seeking-not-its-own-the-lover-serves-his/) [D. H. Lawrence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/d-h-lawrence/) > [“Throughout it all, you are still, always, you: beautiful and bruised, known and unknowable.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leila-sales/throughout-it-all-you-are-still-always-you-beautiful-and-bruised/) [Leila Sales](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leila-sales/) > [There may be things that are completely unknowable to us, so we must be careful not to treat the limits of our knowledge as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-dennett/there-may-be-things-that-are-completely-unknowable-to-us-so-we-must/) [Daniel Dennett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-dennett/) > [“If the essence of things is unknowable, the misery of man cannot be fathomed.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-bavinck/if-the-essence-of-things-is-unknowable-the-misery-of-man-cannot-be/) [Herman Bavinck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-bavinck/) > [There is only ever one answer to the question what did you do with your life, and it's the same--fleeting and unknowable--for every one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marianne-wiggins/there-is-only-ever-one-answer-to-the-question-what-did-you-do-with/) [Marianne Wiggins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marianne-wiggins/) > [Music can name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-bernstein/music-can-name-the-unnameable-and-communicate-the-unknowable/) [Leonard Bernstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-bernstein/) > [The more unknowable the mystery, the more beautiful it is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-lynch/the-more-unknowable-the-mystery-the-more-beautiful-it-is/) [David Lynch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-lynch/) > [“Identity confusion... is as if somebody lost their mental road map and has no appreciation of who they are or what is going on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-a-chefetz/identity-confusion-is-as-if-somebody-lost-their-mental-road-map-and/) Richard A. Chefetz > [It is strange to reflect how much energy is thrown away in attempting to know the unknowable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-barber-lightfoot/it-is-strange-to-reflect-how-much-energy-is-thrown-away-in-attempting/) [Joseph Barber Lightfoot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-barber-lightfoot/) > [“Our lives were limitless and unknowable, not perfect, but ours.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenna-yovanoff/our-lives-were-limitless-and-unknowable-not-perfect-but-ours/) [Brenna Yovanoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenna-yovanoff/) ## More by John Dufresne > [You lose a wallet or keys or something and you notice in a second, but your life can go missing and you don't even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/you-lose-a-wallet-or-keys-or-something-and-you-notice-in-a-second-but/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [“At 9:15 on Thursday morning, June 4, while Jordan Delreese was bludgeoning his two young children to death, I was sitting in Dr. Hamburger's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/at-9-15-on-thursday-morning-june-4-while-jordan-delreese-was/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [We all sleep with the corpses of our dead lovers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/we-all-sleep-with-the-corpses-of-our-dead-lovers/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [I learned to love stories by listening to them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/i-learned-to-love-stories-by-listening-to-them/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [You will feel discouraged; you will lose confidence in your abilities; you will be bored with the characters–and the only way to overcome these…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/you-will-feel-discouraged-you-will-lose-confidence-in-your-abilities/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [There were the fairy tales my father told to me at bedtime. All the standards. I thought my father invented wolves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/there-were-the-fairy-tales-my-father-told-to-me-at-bedtime-all-the/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [If you think about it, fiction is nothing more than gossip about the people you've made up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/if-you-think-about-it-fiction-is-nothing-more-than-gossip-about-the/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [I revise like crazy. I start revising before the pen hits the paper.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/i-revise-like-crazy-i-start-revising-before-the-pen-hits-the-paper/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [“I told her how I thought you could always revise your life, how you could work and work on it, finesse the details, see…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/i-told-her-how-i-thought-you-could-always-revise-your-life-how-you/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [A lack of narrative structure, as you know, will cause anxiety.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/a-lack-of-narrative-structure-as-you-know-will-cause-anxiety/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [I write with a fountain pen. And then revise word by word and line by line so that the first draft of a scene…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/i-write-with-a-fountain-pen-and-then-revise-word-by-word-and-line-by/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [With each draft, the work gets better, and usually that means tighter. It means getting the precise word, not the approximate word.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/with-each-draft-the-work-gets-better-and-usually-that-means-tighter/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [Novels are written, not wished into existence. You have to sit your ass in the chair or nothing gets done.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/novels-are-written-not-wished-into-existence-you-have-to-sit-your-ass/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [In revision, your imagination becomes deeply engaged with your material. It's when you come to know your characters and begin to perceive their motivations…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/in-revision-your-imagination-becomes-deeply-engaged-with-your/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) > [Writing a story, you understand, is not done by consensus. But we do learn from each other, and we remind ourselves how important this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dufresne/writing-a-story-you-understand-is-not-done-by-consensus-but-we-do/) [John Dufresne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) [Explore all 57 John Dufresne quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dufresne/) ## More Beloved quotes > [My Chosen Daughter, No one can define you without your permission. I want you to be so secure in who you are in Me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/god/my-chosen-daughter-no-one-can-define-you-without-your-permission-i/) God > [Why should the Marquis de Cussy wage war on soup? I cannot understand a dinner without it. I hold soup to be the well…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marie-antoine-careme/why-should-the-marquis-de-cussy-wage-war-on-soup-i-cannot-understand/) [Marie-Antoine Careme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marie-antoine-careme/) > [Beloved, let your eyes half close, and your heart beat Over my heart, and your hair fall over my breast, Drowning love's lonely hour…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-butler-yeats/beloved-let-your-eyes-half-close-and-your-heart-beat-over-my-heart/) [William Butler Yeats](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-butler-yeats/) > [I made you, dear, and all I make is perfect. Please come close, for I desire you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teresa-of-vila/i-made-you-dear-and-all-i-make-is-perfect-please-come-close-for-i/) [Teresa of Avila](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teresa-of-vila/) > [A lover asked his beloved, Do you love yourself more than you love me? Beloved replied, I have died to myself and I live…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-lover-asked-his-beloved-do-you-love-yourself-more-than-you-love-me/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [He who believes in God is not careful for the morrow, but labors joyfully and with a great heart. "For He giveth His beloved,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther/he-who-believes-in-god-is-not-careful-for-the-morrow-but-labors/) [Martin Luther](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther/) > [My beloved like a jewel on my crown, In my vast and blue sky you are like a full-moon. I wish to stay entrapped…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ranjan-dey/my-beloved-like-a-jewel-on-my-crown-in-my-vast-and-blue-sky-you-are/) [Ranjan Dey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ranjan-dey/) > [Love is doing what will enthrall the beloved with the greatest and longest joy. What will enthrall the beloved this way is the glory…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-piper/love-is-doing-what-will-enthrall-the-beloved-with-the-greatest-and/) [John Piper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-piper/) > [Rest you well, beloved Jesus, Caesar’s Lord and Israel’s King, In the brooding of the Spirit, in the darkness of the spring](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/n-t-wright-2/rest-you-well-beloved-jesus-caesar-s-lord-and-israel-s-king-in-the/) [N. T. Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-t-wright-2/) > [My beloved friend - one of the most unique and charming personalities of our time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-carroll/my-beloved-friend-one-of-the-most-unique-and-charming-personalities/) [Lewis Carroll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-carroll/) > [A lover goes toward his beloved as enthusiastically as a schoolboy leaving his books, but when he leaves his girlfriend, he feels as miserable…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/a-lover-goes-toward-his-beloved-as-enthusiastically-as-a-schoolboy/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [I lost my dad when I was younger, and I know what its like to lose a beloved parent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simone-elkeles/i-lost-my-dad-when-i-was-younger-and-i-know-what-its-like-to-lose-a/) [Simone Elkeles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simone-elkeles/) > [My beloved dog defied treatment from the best and most expensive veterinarians, holistic practitioners, trainers, and animal communicators. He was simply beyond my ability…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-katz/my-beloved-dog-defied-treatment-from-the-best-and-most-expensive/) [Jon Katz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-katz/) > [Perhaps if only once you did enjoy The thousandth part of all the happiness A heart beloved enjoys, returning love, Repentant, you would surely…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/torquato-tasso/perhaps-if-only-once-you-did-enjoy-the-thousandth-part-of-all-the/) [Torquato Tasso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/torquato-tasso/) > [Wicked sons do not have the Holy Ghost in the same way as do beloved sons, and yet they do have Baptism. So, too,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/saint-augustine/wicked-sons-do-not-have-the-holy-ghost-in-the-same-way-as-do-beloved/) [Saint Augustine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/saint-augustine/) [Browse all 1,440 Beloved quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/beloved/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I loved her for what I couldn't understand about her. 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