--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I could see (though not as clearly as I…" description: "\"“I could see (though not as clearly as I do now) that one of my biggest problems was me. Because I wanted everyone to like me and to approve of me, I t..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aff/john-cleese-1768_life_i-could-see-though-not-as-clearly-as-i-d_1014625.jpg" --- # I could see (though not as clearly as I do now) that one… ![“I could see (though not as clearly as I do now) that one of my biggest problems was me. Because I wanted everyone to like me and to approve of me, I tried to be nice to everyone all the time and this proved a remarkably efficient way of losing control over my life.” quote by John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aff/john-cleese-1768_life_i-could-see-though-not-as-clearly-as-i-d_1014625.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aff/john-cleese-1768_life_i-could-see-though-not-as-clearly-as-i-d_1014625.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aff/john-cleese-1768_life_i-could-see-though-not-as-clearly-as-i-d_1014625.jpg) > ““I could see (though not as clearly as I do now) that one of my biggest problems was me. Because I wanted everyone to like me and to approve of me, I tried to be nice to everyone all the time and this proved a remarkably efficient way of losing control over my life.”” [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Self‑destruction stems from seeking universal approval, leading to loss of personal agency and life control. **In simple terms:** People‑pleasing erodes self‑control. Key Takeaway Set boundaries, regain control. Themes self‑esteem boundaries control Mood reflective humorous Type self‑help psychological When to use this quote - career decisions - relationships - personal growth Key Concepts psychology self‑help Questions to Reflect On - What would you lose by saying no? - How can you balance kindness and self‑care? A Different Perspective Boundaries can cause conflict and guilt. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Likability](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/likability/) [Losing control](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/losing-control/) ## Related quotes > [In Italy, I had many problems... I wanted to find a city, a team, that from the beginning welcomed me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sebastian-giovinco/in-italy-i-had-many-problems-i-wanted-to-find-a-city-a-team-that-from/) [Sebastian Giovinco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sebastian-giovinco/) > [I'd be a liar if I said I didn't care what people think, but I would rather have less people who like or approve…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-hart/i-d-be-a-liar-if-i-said-i-didn-t-care-what-people-think-but-i-would/) [Beth Hart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-hart/) > [Today I will let go of my need for approval and my need to be liked. Instead, I will choose to like and approve…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-beattie/today-i-will-let-go-of-my-need-for-approval-and-my-need-to-be-liked/) [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) > [“Sometimes i still think about when we used to fight and I feel really bad because if I'd known what was going to happen…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/sometimes-i-still-think-about-when-we-used-to-fight-and-i-feel-really/) [Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/) > [I've always tried to be nice to people, so that sort of translates into popularity, I guess.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-richter/i-ve-always-tried-to-be-nice-to-people-so-that-sort-of-translates/) [Andy Richter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-richter/) > [Fuck trying, I tried being nice and the shit blew up in my face.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/fuck-trying-i-tried-being-nice-and-the-shit-blew-up-in-my-face/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“People talk about losing control of themselves all the time, whether it’s from drink, drugs, passion, or anger. But they don’t know what it’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-a-denzil/people-talk-about-losing-control-of-themselves-all-the-time-whether/) [Sarah A. Denzil](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-a-denzil/) > [“Being authentic will get you where you need and want to go, and it will be your path to building the most meaningful and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-tillis-lederman/being-authentic-will-get-you-where-you-need-and-want-to-go-and-it/) [Michelle Tillis Lederman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-tillis-lederman/) > [“Perception is reality, and self-image is self-perception.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-tillis-lederman/perception-is-reality-and-self-image-is-self-perception/) [Michelle Tillis Lederman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-tillis-lederman/) > [“he doesn’t like me the way I like him. And if he did once, he doesn’t anymore.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-lord/he-doesn-t-like-me-the-way-i-like-him-and-if-he-did-once-he-doesn-t/) [Emma Lord](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-lord/) > [“Authenticity is who you are--your honest reactions, your natural energy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-tillis-lederman/authenticity-is-who-you-are-your-honest-reactions-your-natural-energy/) [Michelle Tillis Lederman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-tillis-lederman/) > [“Confidence comes from managing our self-doubts and accepting the fact that we are working on bettering our imperfections, even while appreciating these imperfections as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-tillis-lederman/confidence-comes-from-managing-our-self-doubts-and-accepting-the-fact/) [Michelle Tillis Lederman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-tillis-lederman/) > [“Harnessing likability is about uncovering what is authentically likable—in you, in the other person, in your connection.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-tillis-lederman/harnessing-likability-is-about-uncovering-what-is-authentically/) [Michelle Tillis Lederman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-tillis-lederman/) > [“Cultivate the connections that you want to have, not the ones you think you should have.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-tillis-lederman/cultivate-the-connections-that-you-want-to-have-not-the-ones-you/) [Michelle Tillis Lederman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-tillis-lederman/) > [“Embrace your possibilities, not your potential failures. You get what you expect.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-tillis-lederman/embrace-your-possibilities-not-your-potential-failures-you-get-what/) [Michelle Tillis Lederman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-tillis-lederman/) ## More by John Cleese > [Too many people confuse being serious with being solemn.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/too-many-people-confuse-being-serious-with-being-solemn/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) > [Nerves are always a big problem for me, which is why I loved doing American sitcoms. Because you know when you do the take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/nerves-are-always-a-big-problem-for-me-which-is-why-i-loved-doing/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) > [years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/years-ago-we-would-have-been-burned-for-this-now-what-i-am-suggesting/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) > [I think that sometimes you do something that makes a small group of people laugh, which is all we were trying to do; we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/i-think-that-sometimes-you-do-something-that-makes-a-small-group-of/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) > [The very essence of playfulness is an openness to anything that may happen, the feeling that whatever happens, it's okay... you're either free to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/the-very-essence-of-playfulness-is-an-openness-to-anything-that-may/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) > [Loving your neighbour as much as yourself is practically bloody impossible? You might as well have a commandment that states,'Thou shalt fly'.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/loving-your-neighbour-as-much-as-yourself-is-practically-bloody/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) > [Creativity is not the possession of some special talent. It’s about the willingness to play.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/creativity-is-not-the-possession-of-some-special-talent-it-s-about/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) > [England is a fairly envious little country and it's embodied in the press. They don't like anyone being more distinguished than they are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/england-is-a-fairly-envious-little-country-and-it-s-embodied-in-the/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) > [I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and that's to get rid of all my other desires.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/i-used-to-desire-many-many-things-but-now-i-have-just-one-desire-and/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) > [I think the hard thing for young comedians is that the majority of the young people in the audience out there don't have the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/i-think-the-hard-thing-for-young-comedians-is-that-the-majority-of/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) > [I wish you wusses would stop whining about your unhappiness. I'm really fed up with it. Pour yourself a scotch and pull yourself together.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/i-wish-you-wusses-would-stop-whining-about-your-unhappiness-i-m/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) > [On movies, I like to involve the cast in the writing of the script. I like to have a rehearsal period, after which I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/on-movies-i-like-to-involve-the-cast-in-the-writing-of-the-script-i/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) > [I had a very, very difficult relationship with my mother, who was supremely self-centred. She was hilariously self-centred. She did not really take interest…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/i-had-a-very-very-difficult-relationship-with-my-mother-who-was/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) > [Nothing will stop you being creative more effectively as the fear of making a mistake.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/nothing-will-stop-you-being-creative-more-effectively-as-the-fear-of/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) > [I was very sad to hear of the death of Ronnie Barker, who was such a warm, friendly and encouraging presence to have when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/i-was-very-sad-to-hear-of-the-death-of-ronnie-barker-who-was-such-a/) [John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) [Explore all 209 John Cleese quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/) ## More Life quotes > [Of all the people who have affected my life and influenced the choices I've made, none has been more important than my father. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teddy-atlas/of-all-the-people-who-have-affected-my-life-and-influenced-the/) [Teddy Atlas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teddy-atlas/) > [What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions. Life is plurality, death is uniformity. By suppressing differences and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/octavio-paz/what-sets-worlds-in-motion-is-the-interplay-of-differences-their/) [Octavio Paz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/octavio-paz/) > [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Life works most perfectly when a reciprocal love relationship is in place between man and God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-moore/life-works-most-perfectly-when-a-reciprocal-love-relationship-is-in/) [Beth Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-moore/) > [I value the experiences that come with life too much to sit by and not put my full effort into them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-miller/i-value-the-experiences-that-come-with-life-too-much-to-sit-by-and/) [Jim Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-miller/) > [Entertainment is a sacred pursuit when done well. When done well, it raises the quality of human life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/entertainment-is-a-sacred-pursuit-when-done-well-when-done-well-it/) [Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/) > [“There's more to life than you can see. Your sight is limited.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tammy-kling/there-s-more-to-life-than-you-can-see-your-sight-is-limited/) [Tammy Kling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tammy-kling/) > [“I've spent much of my life calling my intuition "something wrong with me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deanna-l-lawlis/i-ve-spent-much-of-my-life-calling-my-intuition-something-wrong-with/) Deanna L. Lawlis > [When you do things they're absolutely right at that time for you and it can always teach you something about yourself. You can take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kym-marsh/when-you-do-things-they-re-absolutely-right-at-that-time-for-you-and/) [Kym Marsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kym-marsh/) > [The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people who insist…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/the-only-people-who-think-the-internet-is-a-calamity-are-people-whose/) [Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/) > [The one thing that I keep learning over and over again is that I don't know nothing. I mean, that's my life lesson.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dwayne-johnson/the-one-thing-that-i-keep-learning-over-and-over-again-is-that-i-don/) [Dwayne Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dwayne-johnson/) > [“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write,    To thank the God of nature, who conveyed    My soul to me, and with such care…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/this-tale-of-my-sore-troubled-life-i-write-to-thank-the-god-of-nature/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“The future is only an indifferent void no one cares about, but the past is filled with life, and its countenance is irritating, repellent,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/milan-kundera/the-future-is-only-an-indifferent-void-no-one-cares-about-but-the/) [Milan Kundera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/milan-kundera/) > [Two things revolutionised life: moving to the countryside and falling in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-love/two-things-revolutionised-life-moving-to-the-countryside-and-falling/) [Nick Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-love/) > [But just remember, life without me would be even more unbearable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/but-just-remember-life-without-me-would-be-even-more-unbearable/) [Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/) [Browse all 265,290 Life quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I could see (though not as clearly as I do now) that one of my biggest problems was me. 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