--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I have always been the lover - never the…" description: "\"I have always been the lover - never the beloved - and I have spent much of my life waiting for trains, planes, boats, footsteps, doorbells, letters, t..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/822/john-cheever-3301_beloved_i-have-always-been-the-lover-never-the-b_808013.jpg" --- # I have always been the lover - never the beloved - and I… ![“I have always been the lover - never the beloved - and I have spent much of my life waiting for trains, planes, boats, footsteps, doorbells, letters, telephones, snow, rain, thunder.” quote by John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/822/john-cheever-3301_beloved_i-have-always-been-the-lover-never-the-b_808013.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/822/john-cheever-3301_beloved_i-have-always-been-the-lover-never-the-b_808013.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/822/john-cheever-3301_beloved_i-have-always-been-the-lover-never-the-b_808013.jpg) > “I have always been the lover - never the beloved - and I have spent much of my life waiting for trains, planes, boats, footsteps, doorbells, letters, telephones, snow, rain, thunder.” [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker feels perpetually unrequited, always waiting for signs of love that never arrive, reflecting a life of longing and missed connections. **In simple terms:** Waiting for love that never comes. Key Takeaway Embrace present connections instead of endless waiting. Themes loneliness unrequited love waiting longing Mood melancholic reflective Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - personal relationships - self‑reflection - creative writing Key Concepts existential yearning romantic idealism Questions to Reflect On - What patterns keep you waiting for love? - How can you create connection now? A Different Perspective The metaphor may over‑romanticize loneliness, ignoring agency. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Beloved](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/beloved/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Lover](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lover/) [Lovers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lovers/) [Planes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/planes/) [Rain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rain/) [Snow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/snow/) [Thunder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thunder/) [Train](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/train/) ## Related quotes > [“Love is a joint experience between two persons—but the fact that it is a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-mccullers/love-is-a-joint-experience-between-two-persons-but-the-fact-that-it/) [Carson McCullers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-mccullers/) > [There comes a time in the seeker's life when he discovers that he is at once the lover and the beloved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sri-chinmoy/there-comes-a-time-in-the-seeker-s-life-when-he-discovers-that-he-is/) [Sri Chinmoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sri-chinmoy/) > [There are the lover and the beloved, but these two come from different countries.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-mccullers/there-are-the-lover-and-the-beloved-but-these-two-come-from-different/) [Carson McCullers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-mccullers/) > [People stood on their chairs, cheering and waving. And it was all for me! Waves of love flooded the stage and washed over me.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bette-davis/people-stood-on-their-chairs-cheering-and-waving-and-it-was-all-for/) [Bette Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bette-davis/) > [Death is a bridge uniting lover to beloved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/death-is-a-bridge-uniting-lover-to-beloved/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“When a man falls in love, he sees the beloved in an idealized vision which to the rest of the world seems unjustified by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-blamires/when-a-man-falls-in-love-he-sees-the-beloved-in-an-idealized-vision/) [Harry Blamires](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-blamires/) > [Love knows no pain, no sacrifice is too much for it; it is an absolute one-pointed state of mind toward the well-being of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harbhajan-singh-yogi/love-knows-no-pain-no-sacrifice-is-too-much-for-it-it-is-an-absolute/) [Harbhajan Singh Yogi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harbhajan-singh-yogi/) > [“First of all, love is a joint experience between two persons — but the fact that it is a joint experience does not mean…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-mccullers/first-of-all-love-is-a-joint-experience-between-two-persons-but-the/) [carson mccullers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-mccullers/) > [In the whole of the universe there are only two: the lover and the beloved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bhai-sahib-singh/in-the-whole-of-the-universe-there-are-only-two-the-lover-and-the/) Bhai Sahib Singh > [Lovers move like lightning and wind. No contest. Theologians mumble, rumble-dumble, necessity and free will, while lover and beloved pull themselves into each other.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rumi/lovers-move-like-lightning-and-wind-no-contest-theologians-mumble/) [Rumi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rumi/) > [“...I have always believed I cd diagnose this state of being in love, which they regard as most particular, as inspired by item, one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-s-byatt/i-have-always-believed-i-cd-diagnose-this-state-of-being-in-love/) [A.S. Byatt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-s-byatt/) > [To discover he is loved in return ought really to disenchant the lover with the beloved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/to-discover-he-is-loved-in-return-ought-really-to-disenchant-the/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [“Love and the lover have no rigid doctrine. Whichever direction the lover takes, he turns toward his beloved. Wherever he may be, he is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shiekh-muzaffer/love-and-the-lover-have-no-rigid-doctrine-whichever-direction-the/) Shiekh Muzaffer > [Most of us fall into categories - there's always the lover and the beloved, guest and host, giver and taker. You have to decide…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simi-garewal/most-of-us-fall-into-categories-there-s-always-the-lover-and-the/) [Simi Garewal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simi-garewal/) > [Love is giving with no expectations...Love cures, heals, and rewards two people: the lover and the beloved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-siegel/love-is-giving-with-no-expectations-love-cures-heals-and-rewards-two/) [Bernie Siegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-siegel/) ## More by John Cheever > [Only the opium eater truly understands the pain of death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/only-the-opium-eater-truly-understands-the-pain-of-death/) [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) > [The poet or storyteller who feels that he is competing with a superb double play in the World Series is a lost man. One…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/the-poet-or-storyteller-who-feels-that-he-is-competing-with-a-superb/) [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) > [“She perceived vaguely the pitiful corruption of the adult world; how cruel and frail it was, like a worn piece of burlap, patched with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/she-perceived-vaguely-the-pitiful-corruption-of-the-adult-world-how/) [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) > [For lovers, touch is metamorphosis. All the parts of their bodies seem to change, and they seem to become something different and better.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/for-lovers-touch-is-metamorphosis-all-the-parts-of-their-bodies-seem/) [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) > [“I dream that someone in space says to me: So let us rush, then, to see the world. It is shaped like an egg,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/i-dream-that-someone-in-space-says-to-me-so-let-us-rush-then-to-see/) [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) > [I don't like to see all my energies, all of my youth, wasted in fur coats and radios and slipcovers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/i-don-t-like-to-see-all-my-energies-all-of-my-youth-wasted-in-fur/) [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) > [Literature has been the salvation of the damned, literature has inspired and guided lovers, routed despair and can perhaps in this case save the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/literature-has-been-the-salvation-of-the-damned-literature-has/) [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) > [At my back I hear the word-"homosexual"-and it seems to split my world in two… It is ignorance, our ignorance of one another, that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/at-my-back-i-hear-the-word-homosexual-and-it-seems-to-split-my-world/) [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) > [One would never have guessed that the world had such a capacity for genuine grief. The most we can do is exploit our memories…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/one-would-never-have-guessed-that-the-world-had-such-a-capacity-for/) [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) > [“His stepmother -wearing a nightgown for comfort and a flowered hat for looks- had spent her days sitting in their parlor window in Baltimore…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/his-stepmother-wearing-a-nightgown-for-comfort-and-a-flowered-hat-for/) [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) > [Fear tastes like a rusty knife and do not let her into your house. Courage tastes of blood. Stand up straight. Admire the world.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/fear-tastes-like-a-rusty-knife-and-do-not-let-her-into-your-house/) [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) > [I dream that my face appears on a postage stamp.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/i-dream-that-my-face-appears-on-a-postage-stamp/) [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) > [Wisdom is the knowledge of good and evil, not the strength to choose between the two.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/wisdom-is-the-knowledge-of-good-and-evil-not-the-strength-to-choose/) [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) > [“There was some faint coughing, a moan, and then a man spoke. "Are you all right, darling?" he asked. "Yes," a woman said wearily.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/there-was-some-faint-coughing-a-moan-and-then-a-man-spoke-are-you-all/) [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) > [“It was one of those midsummer Sundays when everyone sits around saying, "I drank too much last night." You might have heard it whispered…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/it-was-one-of-those-midsummer-sundays-when-everyone-sits-around/) [John Cheever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) [Explore all 132 John Cheever quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/) ## More Beloved quotes > [My Chosen Daughter, No one can define you without your permission. I want you to be so secure in who you are in Me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/god/my-chosen-daughter-no-one-can-define-you-without-your-permission-i/) God > [Why should the Marquis de Cussy wage war on soup? I cannot understand a dinner without it. I hold soup to be the well…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marie-antoine-careme/why-should-the-marquis-de-cussy-wage-war-on-soup-i-cannot-understand/) [Marie-Antoine Careme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marie-antoine-careme/) > [Beloved, let your eyes half close, and your heart beat Over my heart, and your hair fall over my breast, Drowning love's lonely hour…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-butler-yeats/beloved-let-your-eyes-half-close-and-your-heart-beat-over-my-heart/) [William Butler Yeats](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-butler-yeats/) > [I made you, dear, and all I make is perfect. Please come close, for I desire you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teresa-of-vila/i-made-you-dear-and-all-i-make-is-perfect-please-come-close-for-i/) [Teresa of Avila](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teresa-of-vila/) > [A lover asked his beloved, Do you love yourself more than you love me? Beloved replied, I have died to myself and I live…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-lover-asked-his-beloved-do-you-love-yourself-more-than-you-love-me/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [He who believes in God is not careful for the morrow, but labors joyfully and with a great heart. "For He giveth His beloved,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther/he-who-believes-in-god-is-not-careful-for-the-morrow-but-labors/) [Martin Luther](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther/) > [My beloved like a jewel on my crown, In my vast and blue sky you are like a full-moon. I wish to stay entrapped…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ranjan-dey/my-beloved-like-a-jewel-on-my-crown-in-my-vast-and-blue-sky-you-are/) [Ranjan Dey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ranjan-dey/) > [Love is doing what will enthrall the beloved with the greatest and longest joy. What will enthrall the beloved this way is the glory…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-piper/love-is-doing-what-will-enthrall-the-beloved-with-the-greatest-and/) [John Piper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-piper/) > [Rest you well, beloved Jesus, Caesar’s Lord and Israel’s King, In the brooding of the Spirit, in the darkness of the spring](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/n-t-wright-2/rest-you-well-beloved-jesus-caesar-s-lord-and-israel-s-king-in-the/) [N. T. Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-t-wright-2/) > [My beloved friend - one of the most unique and charming personalities of our time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-carroll/my-beloved-friend-one-of-the-most-unique-and-charming-personalities/) [Lewis Carroll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-carroll/) > [A lover goes toward his beloved as enthusiastically as a schoolboy leaving his books, but when he leaves his girlfriend, he feels as miserable…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/a-lover-goes-toward-his-beloved-as-enthusiastically-as-a-schoolboy/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [I lost my dad when I was younger, and I know what its like to lose a beloved parent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simone-elkeles/i-lost-my-dad-when-i-was-younger-and-i-know-what-its-like-to-lose-a/) [Simone Elkeles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simone-elkeles/) > [My beloved dog defied treatment from the best and most expensive veterinarians, holistic practitioners, trainers, and animal communicators. He was simply beyond my ability…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-katz/my-beloved-dog-defied-treatment-from-the-best-and-most-expensive/) [Jon Katz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-katz/) > [Perhaps if only once you did enjoy The thousandth part of all the happiness A heart beloved enjoys, returning love, Repentant, you would surely…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/torquato-tasso/perhaps-if-only-once-you-did-enjoy-the-thousandth-part-of-all-the/) [Torquato Tasso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/torquato-tasso/) > [Wicked sons do not have the Holy Ghost in the same way as do beloved sons, and yet they do have Baptism. So, too,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/saint-augustine/wicked-sons-do-not-have-the-holy-ghost-in-the-same-way-as-do-beloved/) [Saint Augustine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/saint-augustine/) [Browse all 1,440 Beloved quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/beloved/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I have always been the lover - never the beloved - and I have spent much of my life waiting for trains, planes, boats, footsteps, doorbells, letters, telephones, snow, rain, thunder.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "John Cheever" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/i-have-always-been-the-lover-never-the-beloved-and-i-have-spent-much/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Beloved" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/i-have-always-been-the-lover-never-the-beloved-and-i-have-spent-much/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/822/john-cheever-3301_beloved_i-have-always-been-the-lover-never-the-b_808013.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/822/john-cheever-3301_beloved_i-have-always-been-the-lover-never-the-b_808013.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/822/john-cheever-3301_beloved_i-have-always-been-the-lover-never-the-b_808013.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have always been the lover - never the beloved - and I have spent much of my life waiting for trains…” — John Cheever", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "John Cheever", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cheever/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "I have always been the lover...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/i-have-always-been-the-lover-never-the-beloved-and-i-have-spent-much/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cheever/i-have-always-been-the-lover-never-the-beloved-and-i-have-spent-much/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```