---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: There is the vanity training, the…"
description: "\"“There is the vanity training, the obedience training, the self-effacement training, the deference training, the dependency training, the passivity tra..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f78/joanna-russ-7942_feminism_there-is-the-vanity-training-the-obedien_750892.jpg"
---

#  There is the vanity training, the obedience training, the…

![“There is the vanity training, the obedience training, the self-effacement training, the deference training, the dependency training, the passivity training, the rivalry training, the stupidity training, the placation training. How am I to put this together with my human life, my intellectual life…” quote by Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f78/joanna-russ-7942_feminism_there-is-the-vanity-training-the-obedien_750892.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f78/joanna-russ-7942_feminism_there-is-the-vanity-training-the-obedien_750892.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f78/joanna-russ-7942_feminism_there-is-the-vanity-training-the-obedien_750892.jpg)

> ““There is the vanity training, the obedience training, the self-effacement training, the deference training, the dependency training, the passivity training, the rivalry training, the stupidity training, the placation training. How am I to put this together with my human life, my intellectual life, my solitude, my transcendence, my brains, and my fearful, fearful ambition? I failed miserably and thought it was my own fault. You can't unite woman and human any more than you can unite matter and anti-matter; they are designed to not to be stable together and they make just as big an explosion inside the head of the unfortunate girl who believes in both.””

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The quote critiques how societal expectations force women into conflicting roles, creating internal conflict and impossible standards.

**In simple terms:** Women face contradictory pressures that clash with personal ambitions.

Key Takeaway

Recognize and reject contradictory societal expectations.

Themes

feminism identity conflict gender roles

Mood

frustrated reflective

Type

critical philosophical

When to use this quote

- career planning
- personal development
- mental health counseling
- activism
- education

Key Concepts

social conditioning self-actualization psychological tension

Questions to Reflect On

- How do societal expectations shape your self‑identity?
- What steps can you take to align personal goals with authentic self?

A Different Perspective

Balancing multiple expectations may be impractical without systemic change.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Deference Training](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deference-training-5842646/) [Feminism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feminism/) [Fitness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fitness/) [Human life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/human-life/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Sexism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sexism/) [Stupidity Training](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stupidity-training-5842644/) [Training Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/training-self-1730603/) [Training Stupidity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/training-stupidity-1113727/) [Vanity Training](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/vanity-training-5842645/) [Women](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/women/)

## Related quotes

> [“Many things can be cured with experience and training. Stupidity is not one of them. - Leon”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-bernhardt/many-things-can-be-cured-with-experience-and-training-stupidity-is/)

[William Bernhardt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-bernhardt/)

> [I definitely get down on myself. I needed to work on my self-talk. The same way you do footwork drills and cardio training, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rose-namajunas/i-definitely-get-down-on-myself-i-needed-to-work-on-my-self-talk-the/)

[Rose Namajunas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rose-namajunas/)

> [When you come from your heart in the midst of your self and in your life, you’ll be like a salmon turning and going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-de-ruiter/when-you-come-from-your-heart-in-the-midst-of-your-self-and-in-your/)

[John de Ruiter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-de-ruiter/)

> [Non-co-operation means nothing less than training in self-sacrifice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahatma-gandhi/non-co-operation-means-nothing-less-than-training-in-self-sacrifice/)

[Mahatma Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahatma-gandhi/)

> [With training and self discipline; clear focus and confidence; problems can be overcome and even lead to unexpected gains](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/georges-st-pierre/with-training-and-self-discipline-clear-focus-and-confidence-problems/)

[Georges St-Pierre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/georges-st-pierre/)

> [“That not all men are piggy, only some; that not all men belittle me, only some; that not all men get mad if you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/that-not-all-men-are-piggy-only-some-that-not-all-men-belittle-me/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [“The game is a dominance game called I Must Impress This Woman. Failure makes the active player play harder. Wear a hunched back or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/the-game-is-a-dominance-game-called-i-must-impress-this-woman-failure/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [“At the level of high culture with which this book is concerned, active bigotry is probably fairly rare. It is also hardly ever necessary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/at-the-level-of-high-culture-with-which-this-book-is-concerned-active/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [The techniques are all means of dealing with one simple idea: She wrote it. (That is, the "wrong" person--in this case, female--has created the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/the-techniques-are-all-means-of-dealing-with-one-simple-idea-she/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [“...at Newsweek only girls with college degrees--and we were called "girls" then--were hired to sort and deliver the mail, humbly pushing our carts from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lynn-povich/at-newsweek-only-girls-with-college-degrees-and-we-were-called-girls/)

[Lynn Povich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lynn-povich/)

> [“I couldn't stand the idea of a woman having to have a single pure life and a man being able to have a double…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvia-plath/i-couldn-t-stand-the-idea-of-a-woman-having-to-have-a-single-pure/)

[Sylvia Plath](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvia-plath/)

> [“Blaming therapy, social work and other caring professions for the confabulation of testimony of 'satanic ritual abuse' legitimated a programme of political and social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/blaming-therapy-social-work-and-other-caring-professions-for-the/)

[Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/)

> [No woman ever yet either reasoned or acted long together consequentially; but some little thing, some love, some resentment, somepresent momentary interest, some supposed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lord-chesterfield/no-woman-ever-yet-either-reasoned-or-acted-long-together/)

[Lord Chesterfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lord-chesterfield/)

> [Black women's intersectional experiences of racism and sexism have been a central but forgotten dynamic in the unfolding of feminist and antiracist agendas.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kimberle-williams-crenshaw/black-women-s-intersectional-experiences-of-racism-and-sexism-have/)

[Kimberle Williams Crenshaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kimberle-williams-crenshaw/)

> [I never knew a man who deserved to be thought well of for his morals who had a slight opinion of our Sex in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-richardson/i-never-knew-a-man-who-deserved-to-be-thought-well-of-for-his-morals/)

[Samuel Richardson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-richardson/)

## More by Joanna Russ

> [“Thus in the bad days, in the dark swampy times.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/thus-in-the-bad-days-in-the-dark-swampy-times/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [“An as-yet-unpublished poet in Boulder, Colorado, once said to me that anything worth doing was worth doing badly. I may seem, in the foregoing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/an-as-yet-unpublished-poet-in-boulder-colorado-once-said-to-me-that/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [“(Only God can make a tree and She seldom tries, nowadays.)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/only-god-can-make-a-tree-and-she-seldom-tries-nowadays/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [ “The trouble with men is that they have limited minds. That's the trouble with women, too." \[ "Existence" (1975)\]” ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/the-trouble-with-men-is-that-they-have-limited-minds-that-s-the/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [“Until you learn better, you think that a landscaped world can't hurt you or please you, you needn't bother about its soul, you needn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/until-you-learn-better-you-think-that-a-landscaped-world-can-t-hurt/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [The techniques are all means of dealing with one simple idea: She wrote it. (That is, the "wrong" person--in this case, female--has created the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/the-techniques-are-all-means-of-dealing-with-one-simple-idea-she/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [“What future is there for a female child who aspires to being Humpfrey Bogart?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/what-future-is-there-for-a-female-child-who-aspires-to-being-humpfrey/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [Ignorance is not bad faith. But persistence in ignorance is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/ignorance-is-not-bad-faith-but-persistence-in-ignorance-is/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [“I had planned to consult with a Black colleague, but when I approached her in the hall she had a crowd of students about,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/i-had-planned-to-consult-with-a-black-colleague-but-when-i-approached/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [There are more whooping cranes in the United States of America than there are women in Congress.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/there-are-more-whooping-cranes-in-the-united-states-of-america-than/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [“Courage is willful hope.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/courage-is-willful-hope/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [The trouble with men is that they have limited minds. That's the trouble with women, too.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/the-trouble-with-men-is-that-they-have-limited-minds-that-s-the-2/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [“I cannot get into this swamp or I will never get out; and if I start crying again I'll remember that I have no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/i-cannot-get-into-this-swamp-or-i-will-never-get-out-and-if-i-start/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [Science fiction, as I mentioned before, writes about what is neither impossible nor possible; the fact is that, when the question of possibility comes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/science-fiction-as-i-mentioned-before-writes-about-what-is-neither/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

> [“Somewhere there is a book that says you ought to cry buckets of tears over yourself and love yourself with a passion and wrap…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/somewhere-there-is-a-book-that-says-you-ought-to-cry-buckets-of-tears/)

[Joanna Russ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

[Explore all 84 Joanna Russ quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/)

## More Feminism quotes

> [“But benevolent patriarchy is still patriarchy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/but-benevolent-patriarchy-is-still-patriarchy/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [It's easier to change a law than an age-old mentality. Deep down, many prejudices, many hostilities, many fears persist. But if we take a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dacia-maraini/it-s-easier-to-change-a-law-than-an-age-old-mentality-deep-down-many/)

[Dacia Maraini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dacia-maraini/)

> [“This story is not at all an uncommon one in tech circles, including gaming. The popular notion is that women who get ahead must…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bailey-poland/this-story-is-not-at-all-an-uncommon-one-in-tech-circles-including/)

[Bailey Poland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bailey-poland/)

> [Without meaning to sound anti-men, ghastly women are the closest you get to a male role.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathy-burke/without-meaning-to-sound-anti-men-ghastly-women-are-the-closest-you/)

[Kathy Burke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathy-burke/)

> [If the women in the factories stopped work for twenty minutes, the Allies would lose the war.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-joffre/if-the-women-in-the-factories-stopped-work-for-twenty-minutes-the/)

[Joseph Joffre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-joffre/)

> [“It took me years to learn to sit at my desk for more than two minutes at a time, to put up with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erica-jong/it-took-me-years-to-learn-to-sit-at-my-desk-for-more-than-two-minutes/)

[Erica Jong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erica-jong/)

> [“If attempting to make the world a civilized one, makes you a bad woman in the eyes of the dumb patriarchal society, then, by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhijit-naskar/if-attempting-to-make-the-world-a-civilized-one-makes-you-a-bad-woman/)

[Abhijit Naskar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhijit-naskar/)

> [“there was something of the women molded into the great, stalwart frame of Hollingsworth; nor was he ashamed of it; as men often are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-hawthorne/there-was-something-of-the-women-molded-into-the-great-stalwart-frame/)

[Nathaniel Hawthorne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-hawthorne/)

> [Women rule the world. It's not really worth fighting because they know what they're doing. Ask Napoleon. Ask Adam. Ask Richard Burton or Richie…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-bon-jovi/women-rule-the-world-it-s-not-really-worth-fighting-because-they-know/)

[Jon Bon Jovi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-bon-jovi/)

> [“Bármilyen idiótának, aki azt kérdezi: „Feminista vagy? Akkor elégeted a melltartóidat, mi? HE? Melltartókat égetsz, te feminista?” – szép nyugodtan így kell válaszolni: „Ostoba.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-moran/b-rmilyen-idi-t-nak-aki-azt-k-rdezi-feminista-vagy-akkor-el-geted-a/)

[Caitlin Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-moran/)

> [People are capable of great, great change during the span of one lifetime. And women even more than men.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-zevin/people-are-capable-of-great-great-change-during-the-span-of-one/)

[Gabrielle Zevin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-zevin/)

> [Susan B. Anthony must be turning in her grave if she knew that millions of women who have the right to vote are not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madeleine-m-kunin/susan-b-anthony-must-be-turning-in-her-grave-if-she-knew-that/)

[Madeleine M. Kunin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madeleine-m-kunin/)

> [Success will come when the societal attitude changes and not a single woman in America asks herself the question 'What did I do?'.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-biden/success-will-come-when-the-societal-attitude-changes-and-not-a-single/)

[Joe Biden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-biden/)

> [Women know things that men will never know. We keep the best secrets. We tell the best stories.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/women-know-things-that-men-will-never-know-we-keep-the-best-secrets/)

[Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/)

> [“Women will be at least 50 percent of the communications community workforce … from executive suite to interns. Why? The “integrated” agency will be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yoram-wind/women-will-be-at-least-50-percent-of-the-communications-community/)

[Yoram Wind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yoram-wind/)

[Browse all 15,705 Feminism quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feminism/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“There is the vanity training, the obedience training, the self-effacement training, the deference training, the dependency training, the passivity training, the rivalry training, the stupidity training, the placation training. How am I to put this together with my human life, my intellectual life, my solitude, my transcendence, my brains, and my fearful, fearful ambition? I failed miserably and thought it was my own fault. You can't unite woman and human any more than you can unite matter and anti-matter; they are designed to not to be stable together and they make just as big an explosion inside the head of the unfortunate girl who believes in both.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Joanna Russ"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/there-is-the-vanity-training-the-obedience-training-the-self/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Feminism"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/there-is-the-vanity-training-the-obedience-training-the-self/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f78/joanna-russ-7942_feminism_there-is-the-vanity-training-the-obedien_750892.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f78/joanna-russ-7942_feminism_there-is-the-vanity-training-the-obedien_750892.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f78/joanna-russ-7942_feminism_there-is-the-vanity-training-the-obedien_750892.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“There is the vanity training, the obedience training, the self-effacement training, the deference training…” — Joanna Russ",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Joanna Russ",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joanna-russ/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“There is the vanity training, the...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/there-is-the-vanity-training-the-obedience-training-the-self/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joanna-russ/there-is-the-vanity-training-the-obedience-training-the-self/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
