--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: She knows by now that grief is about…" description: "\"“She knows by now that grief is about endurance, understanding over and over that the person you loved is not coming back.”\" — Joan Wickersham" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f5/joan-wickersham-29935_grief_she-knows-by-now-that-grief-is-about-end_1923820.jpg" --- # She knows by now that grief is about endurance… ![“She knows by now that grief is about endurance, understanding over and over that the person you loved is not coming back.” quote by Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f5/joan-wickersham-29935_grief_she-knows-by-now-that-grief-is-about-end_1923820.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f5/joan-wickersham-29935_grief_she-knows-by-now-that-grief-is-about-end_1923820.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f5/joan-wickersham-29935_grief_she-knows-by-now-that-grief-is-about-end_1923820.jpg) > ““She knows by now that grief is about endurance, understanding over and over that the person you loved is not coming back.”” [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Grief persists through repeated endurance and understanding that the lost loved one will not return. **In simple terms:** Grief is ongoing endurance and acceptance. Key Takeaway Embrace endurance and acceptance in grief. Themes grief loss endurance acceptance healing Mood somber reflective Type literary emotional When to use this quote - personal loss - support groups - therapy sessions - memorial rituals Key Concepts emotional processing psychology of mourning Questions to Reflect On - What helps you endure grief? - How can you honor the memory? A Different Perspective Endurance alone may not heal without support. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Endurance Understanding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/endurance-understanding-2970945/) [Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) [Grief Endurance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief-endurance-2970944/) [Knows Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows-grief-2970943/) [Patience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/patience/) [Person You Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/person-you-love/) [Understanding Person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/understanding-person-340116/) ## Related quotes > [An understanding person may not understand everything about you. But they always understand when you're sad or happy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-mark/an-understanding-person-may-not-understand-everything-about-you-but/) [Terry Mark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-mark/) > [“When understanding another person's problem you help him correctly, even though there is nothing you can do about it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/when-understanding-another-person-s-problem-you-help-him-correctly/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [Understanding a person does not mean condoning; it only means that one does not accuse him as if one were God or a judge…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/understanding-a-person-does-not-mean-condoning-it-only-means-that-one/) [Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/) > [We can love someone without understanding that person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-rowe/we-can-love-someone-without-understanding-that-person/) [Dorothy Rowe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-rowe/) > [“The starting point for all interaction must come from an understanding of what the other person cares about most.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brett-bartholomew/the-starting-point-for-all-interaction-must-come-from-an/) [Brett Bartholomew](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brett-bartholomew/) > [The best way I can get understanding from another person is to give this person the understanding, too. If I want them to hear…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/the-best-way-i-can-get-understanding-from-another-person-is-to-give/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [“An empathy wall is an obstacle to deep understanding of another person, one that can make us feel indifferent or even hostile to those…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arlie-russell-hochschild/an-empathy-wall-is-an-obstacle-to-deep-understanding-of-another/) [Arlie Russell Hochschild](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arlie-russell-hochschild/) > [Design is really an act of communication, which means having a deep understanding of the person with whom the designer is communicating.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-a-norman/design-is-really-an-act-of-communication-which-means-having-a-deep/) [Donald A. Norman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-a-norman/) > [Leslie is the most understanding person in the world; rarely will she get angry; she's been screwed over her whole life and still comes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/leslie-is-the-most-understanding-person-in-the-world-rarely-will-she/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [The friends I have, and the people whom I admire, are people who have an understanding of the conditions under which we live, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/claudia-rankine/the-friends-i-have-and-the-people-whom-i-admire-are-people-who-have/) [Claudia Rankine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/claudia-rankine/) > [I'm a very understanding person. That's something I was raised to be aware of - not everybody has the same shoes to fill or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dianna-agron/i-m-a-very-understanding-person-that-s-something-i-was-raised-to-be/) [Dianna Agron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dianna-agron/) > [I am now in a place where I have to be truer to myself first before anyone else. If you're not real, how can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-benet/i-am-now-in-a-place-where-i-have-to-be-truer-to-myself-first-before/) [Eric Benet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-benet/) > [An understanding person may not always understand everything about you. But they always understand when you're fine or not.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-mark/an-understanding-person-may-not-always-understand-everything-about/) [Terry Mark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-mark/) > [My wife is a brilliant, hugely understanding person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jamie-dornan/my-wife-is-a-brilliant-hugely-understanding-person/) [Jamie Dornan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jamie-dornan/) > [In the midst of our own daily struggles, it's often hard to share an understanding for what another person might be going through.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tyler-childers/in-the-midst-of-our-own-daily-struggles-it-s-often-hard-to-share-an/) [Tyler Childers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tyler-childers/) ## More by Joan Wickersham > [“Young" and "Poor" sounded so promising, the way my mother always told the story. Temporary conditions: poignant "befores" that existed only to contrast with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/young-and-poor-sounded-so-promising-the-way-my-mother-always-told-the/) [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) > [“What we did not say was that with these hurts an edge was worn down. It happens out of necessity -- it would not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/what-we-did-not-say-was-that-with-these-hurts-an-edge-was-worn-down/) [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) > [And while some healing does happen, it isn't a healing of redemption or epiphany. It's more like the slow absorption of a bruise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/and-while-some-healing-does-happen-it-isn-t-a-healing-of-redemption/) [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) > [“Not just the beating. The words. 'Boris, you're stubborn, lazy, worthless, you can't do anything right, you're evil' -- at least once I heard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/not-just-the-beating-the-words-boris-you-re-stubborn-lazy-worthless/) [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) > [A love story - your own, or anyone else's - is interior, hidden. It can never be accurately reported, only imagined. It is all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/a-love-story-your-own-or-anyone-else-s-is-interior-hidden-it-can/) [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) > [“The word "miss" is so wistful. As is the word "wistful," for that matter. They both have sighs embedded in them, that "iss" sound.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/the-word-miss-is-so-wistful-as-is-the-word-wistful-for-that-matter/) [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) > [“Those moments of knowing are sharp and merciless, but then they fade out, like stars when the sky gets light in the morning. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/those-moments-of-knowing-are-sharp-and-merciless-but-then-they-fade/) [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) > [“That's how it went between us. We would have a horrible fight, which at the time would feel insurmountable. It was impossible to see…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/that-s-how-it-went-between-us-we-would-have-a-horrible-fight-which-at/) [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) > [“My feelings-let's hold on to this idea of them as shuffling Victorians, let's make them servants, an entire uniformed household staff- were fresh, raw,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/my-feelings-let-s-hold-on-to-this-idea-of-them-as-shuffling/) [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) > [“Or maybe she simply couldn't stay merry. That subversive, candid merriment of hers was enchanting, electric; but it was a social phenomenon. It was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/or-maybe-she-simply-couldn-t-stay-merry-that-subversive-candid/) [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) > [But who is ever able to apply to her own current love affair a word like "similar"?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/but-who-is-ever-able-to-apply-to-her-own-current-love-affair-a-word/) [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) > [“You are like a nearsighted person who can see the cracks in the bowl when she's wearing glasses -- and so chooses not to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/you-are-like-a-nearsighted-person-who-can-see-the-cracks-in-the-bowl/) [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) > [“Time and judgment collaborate to produce farce, and farce in turn contains much truth; major characters upon the stage may turn out to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/time-and-judgment-collaborate-to-produce-farce-and-farce-in-turn/) [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) > [There is also something deeply lovely about uncertainty: the possibility of optimism.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/there-is-also-something-deeply-lovely-about-uncertainty-the/) [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) > [“A story went around that someone had asked Mozart how he intended to refute his detractors. "I will refute them with new works," he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/a-story-went-around-that-someone-had-asked-mozart-how-he-intended-to/) [Joan Wickersham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) [Explore all 18 Joan Wickersham quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/) ## More Grief quotes > [“...they had lived, they'd lived intensely. But no matter how deeply you live, it comes to this in the end: one of you will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-morton/they-had-lived-they-d-lived-intensely-but-no-matter-how-deeply-you/) [Brian Morton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-morton/) > [“You must understand the pain and grief of losing someone is nothing more than a function of survival.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-cooper/you-must-understand-the-pain-and-grief-of-losing-someone-is-nothing/) [Steven Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-cooper/) > [You felt a deep sorrow, the kind of melancholy you feel when you're in a beautiful place and the sun is going down](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thrity-umrigar/you-felt-a-deep-sorrow-the-kind-of-melancholy-you-feel-when-you-re-in/) [Thrity Umrigar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thrity-umrigar/) > [... how much of our inner substance is it good for us to give to public griefs? The whole modern tendency to agonize over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-bogan/how-much-of-our-inner-substance-is-it-good-for-us-to-give-to-public/) [Louise Bogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-bogan/) > [You dont choose your life; it chooses you. Theres no point asking why life has reserved certain joys or griefs, you just accept them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/you-dont-choose-your-life-it-chooses-you-theres-no-point-asking-why/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [“When we learn to attribute meaning to the events in our lives, we connect with our Higher Purpose, Higher Wisdom, or Source; we become…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-barbara-apollon/when-we-learn-to-attribute-meaning-to-the-events-in-our-lives-we/) [Susan Barbara Apollon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-barbara-apollon/) > [Only to have a grief equal to all these tears!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adrienne-rich/only-to-have-a-grief-equal-to-all-these-tears/) [Adrienne Rich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adrienne-rich/) > [Nowadays most people wear black most of the time anyway: go to a literary party and one would imagine everyone there was in perpetual…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fay-weldon/nowadays-most-people-wear-black-most-of-the-time-anyway-go-to-a/) [Fay Weldon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fay-weldon/) > [Suppressed grief suffocates, it rages within the breast, and is forced to multiply its strength.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ovid/suppressed-grief-suffocates-it-rages-within-the-breast-and-is-forced/) [Ovid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ovid/) > [That Woman is in love with her own grief.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-zevin/that-woman-is-in-love-with-her-own-grief/) [Gabrielle Zevin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-zevin/) > [Short time seems long in sorrow's sharp sustaining.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/short-time-seems-long-in-sorrow-s-sharp-sustaining/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [These days grief seems like walking on a frozen river; most of the time he feels safe enough, but there is always that danger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/these-days-grief-seems-like-walking-on-a-frozen-river-most-of-the/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [“You've been my beacon of light in my storm of grief, and I don't know if I could live without you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-ashley/you-ve-been-my-beacon-of-light-in-my-storm-of-grief-and-i-don-t-know/) [Katie Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-ashley/) > [Ancient eyes had stared at me, filled with ancient grief. And something more. Something so alien and unexpected that I'd almost burst into tears.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-marie-moning/ancient-eyes-had-stared-at-me-filled-with-ancient-grief-and-something/) [Karen Marie Moning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-marie-moning/) > [Meanwhile, the trees were just as green as before; the birds sang and the sun shone as clearly now as ever. The familiar surroundings…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-hardy/meanwhile-the-trees-were-just-as-green-as-before-the-birds-sang-and/) [Thomas Hardy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-hardy/) [Browse all 8,012 Grief quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“She knows by now that grief is about endurance, understanding over and over that the person you loved is not coming back.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Joan Wickersham" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/she-knows-by-now-that-grief-is-about-endurance-understanding-over-and/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Grief" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/she-knows-by-now-that-grief-is-about-endurance-understanding-over-and/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f5/joan-wickersham-29935_grief_she-knows-by-now-that-grief-is-about-end_1923820.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f5/joan-wickersham-29935_grief_she-knows-by-now-that-grief-is-about-end_1923820.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f5/joan-wickersham-29935_grief_she-knows-by-now-that-grief-is-about-end_1923820.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“She knows by now that grief is about endurance, understanding over and over that the person you loved is not…” — Joan Wickersham", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Joan Wickersham", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-wickersham/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“She knows by now that grief...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/she-knows-by-now-that-grief-is-about-endurance-understanding-over-and/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-wickersham/she-knows-by-now-that-grief-is-about-endurance-understanding-over-and/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```