---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: What I felt in each instance was sadness…"
description: "\"“What I felt in each instance was sadness, loneliness (the loneliness of the abandoned child of whatever age), regret for time gone by, for things unsa..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d3/joan-didion-497_children_what-i-felt-in-each-instance-was-sadness_1036182.jpg"
---

#  What I felt in each instance was sadness, loneliness (the…

![“What I felt in each instance was sadness, loneliness (the loneliness of the abandoned child of whatever age), regret for time gone by, for things unsaid, for my inability to share or even in any real way to acknowledge, at the end, the pain and helplessness and physical humiliation they each…” quote by Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d3/joan-didion-497_children_what-i-felt-in-each-instance-was-sadness_1036182.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d3/joan-didion-497_children_what-i-felt-in-each-instance-was-sadness_1036182.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d3/joan-didion-497_children_what-i-felt-in-each-instance-was-sadness_1036182.jpg)

> ““What I felt in each instance was sadness, loneliness (the loneliness of the abandoned child of whatever age), regret for time gone by, for things unsaid, for my inability to share or even in any real way to acknowledge, at the end, the pain and helplessness and physical humiliation they each endured. I understood the inevitability of each of their deaths. I had been expecting (fearing, dreading, anticipating) those deaths all my life. They remained, when they did occur, distanced, at a remove from the ongoing dailiness of my life.””

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The passage reflects deep sorrow and helplessness when witnessing others’ suffering, feeling detached yet emotionally burdened by inevitable loss.

**In simple terms:** Seeing others suffer creates personal grief and distance.

Key Takeaway

Acknowledge empathy, seek supportive connections.

Themes

sorrow empathy detachment mortality memory

Mood

melancholic introspective

Type

literary reflective

When to use this quote

- counseling
- support groups
- writing therapy
- volunteering

Key Concepts

existential reflection psychology human connection

Questions to Reflect On

- How do you process vicarious grief?
- What boundaries protect your well‑being?

A Different Perspective

May romanticize suffering; could overlook personal agency.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) [Regret](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/regret/) [Sadness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sadness/) [Sadness Loneliness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sadness-loneliness/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/)

## Related quotes

> [I must confess that I am usually drawn to sadness, and loneliness has never been a stranger to me. But love tried to welcome…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madonna-ciccone/i-must-confess-that-i-am-usually-drawn-to-sadness-and-loneliness-has/)

[Madonna Ciccone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madonna-ciccone/)

> [Were their is intelligent life there is sadness, loneliness, and anger, but their is also happiness, friendship and love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/were-their-is-intelligent-life-there-is-sadness-loneliness-and-anger/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Inside...I feel alone and been left out, full of sadness and loneliness, a feeling that slowly consuming my life and killing my soul...The only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/inside-i-feel-alone-and-been-left-out-full-of-sadness-and-loneliness/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“Thinking about sadness and loneliness, and what it means to be sad, how to live with it, walk through it and grow from it.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/riitta-klint/thinking-about-sadness-and-loneliness-and-what-it-means-to-be-sad-how/)

[Riitta Klint](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/riitta-klint/)

> [Some days, 24 hours is too much to stay put in, so I take the day hour by hour, moment by moment. I break…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/regina-brett/some-days-24-hours-is-too-much-to-stay-put-in-so-i-take-the-day-hour/)

[Regina Brett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/regina-brett/)

> [“…you can overcome sadness, loneliness, even terrible loss. But guilt goes with you the grave.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jodee-blanco/you-can-overcome-sadness-loneliness-even-terrible-loss-but-guilt-goes/)

[Jodee Blanco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jodee-blanco/)

> [In truth, “Extremely Loud &amp; Incredibly Close” isn't about Sept. 11. It's about the impulse to drain that day of its specificity and turn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/manohla-dargis/in-truth-extremely-loud-incredibly-close-isn-t-about-sept-11-it-s/)

[Manohla Dargis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/manohla-dargis/)

> [A lonely, quiet person has observations and experiences that are at once both more indistinct and more penetrating than those of one more gregarious;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-mann/a-lonely-quiet-person-has-observations-and-experiences-that-are-at/)

[Thomas Mann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-mann/)

> [Sadness and loneliness of your heart can only and only be determined by your tears.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/sadness-and-loneliness-of-your-heart-can-only-and-only-be-determined/)

[Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/)

> [“Tragedy, sadness, loneliness and despair taught me that life is really a beautiful thing; if it wasn't I wouldn't be able to recognize that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-evans/tragedy-sadness-loneliness-and-despair-taught-me-that-life-is-really/)

[Greg Evans](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-evans/)

> [Truth is... girls lie as much a boys, boys get hurt as much as girls. At some point we all experience the same thing;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/truth-is-girls-lie-as-much-a-boys-boys-get-hurt-as-much-as-girls-at/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“I’d do it all over again, knowing that you were going to be there at the end. I’d walk through the sadness and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kimberly-lauren/i-d-do-it-all-over-again-knowing-that-you-were-going-to-be-there-at/)

[Kimberly Lauren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kimberly-lauren/)

> [Rejection, Sadness, Loneliness, Forgotten, Drifting, Loveless, Emptiness, Ignored. Why can all these be linked to me inside 2 minutes? What is life? What is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/whatever/rejection-sadness-loneliness-forgotten-drifting-loveless-emptiness/)

Whatever

> [“Poirot, watching him, felt suddenly a doubt--an uncomfortable twinge. Was there, here, something that he had missed? Some richness of the spirit? Sadness crept…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/agatha-christie/poirot-watching-him-felt-suddenly-a-doubt-an-uncomfortable-twinge-was/)

[Agatha Christie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/agatha-christie/)

> [Regrets are just a way for the foolish and the guilty to pass the time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gensoumaden-saiyuki/regrets-are-just-a-way-for-the-foolish-and-the-guilty-to-pass-the-time/)

Gensoumaden Saiyuki

## More by Joan Didion

> [To shift the structure of a sentence alters the meaning of that sentence, as definitely and inflexibly as the position of a camera alters…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/to-shift-the-structure-of-a-sentence-alters-the-meaning-of-that/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [I work every day. Sometimes I don't accomplish anything every day, but if I don't work every day, I get depressed and get afraid…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/i-work-every-day-sometimes-i-don-t-accomplish-anything-every-day-but/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [Style is character.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/style-is-character/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [California is a place in which a boom mentality and a sense of Chekhovian loss meet in uneasy suspension.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/california-is-a-place-in-which-a-boom-mentality-and-a-sense-of/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [“I went because I was interested in the alchemy of issues.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/i-went-because-i-was-interested-in-the-alchemy-of-issues/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [“Why did I write it down? In order to remember, of course, but exactly what was it I wanted to remember? How much of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/why-did-i-write-it-down-in-order-to-remember-of-course-but-exactly/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [I no longer want reminders of what was, what got broken, what got lost, what got wasted.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/i-no-longer-want-reminders-of-what-was-what-got-broken-what-got-lost/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [My mother 'gave teas' the way other mothers breathed. Her own mother 'gave teas.' All of their friends 'gave teas,' each involving butter cookies…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/my-mother-gave-teas-the-way-other-mothers-breathed-her-own-mother/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [I'm not very interested in people. I recognize it in myself - there is a basic indifference toward people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/i-m-not-very-interested-in-people-i-recognize-it-in-myself-there-is-a/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [“Was there ever in anyone's life span a point free in time, devoid of memory, a point when choice was any more than sum…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/was-there-ever-in-anyone-s-life-span-a-point-free-in-time-devoid-of/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [“Research to date has shown that, like many other stressors, grief frequently leads to changes in the endocrine, immune, autonomic nervous, and cardiovascular systems;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/research-to-date-has-shown-that-like-many-other-stressors-grief/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [“By the end of the week she was thinking constantly about where her body stopped and the air began about the exact point in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/by-the-end-of-the-week-she-was-thinking-constantly-about-where-her/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [“I just can't see the upside in this," I heard myself say by way of explanation. Later he said that if John had been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/i-just-can-t-see-the-upside-in-this-i-heard-myself-say-by-way-of/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [ I read so ravenously that I would read through whole categories. I was crazy about reading biographies. \[...\] I think biographies are very urgent… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/i-read-so-ravenously-that-i-would-read-through-whole-categories-i-was/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [To those of us who remained committed mainly to the exploration of moral distinctions and ambiguities, the feminist analysis may have seemed a particularly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/to-those-of-us-who-remained-committed-mainly-to-the-exploration-of/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

[Explore all 515 Joan Didion quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

## More Children quotes

> [I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-lusseyran/i-am-certain-that-children-always-know-more-than-they-are-able-to/)

[Jacques Lusseyran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-lusseyran/)

> [Behind every successful child is an adult who believed in him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/behind-every-successful-child-is-an-adult-who-believed-in-him/)

[Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/)

> [I believe in freedom to do what you want if you aren't hurting others, but pictures of obese protesters giving their children big gulps.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-defranco/i-believe-in-freedom-to-do-what-you-want-if-you-aren-t-hurting-others/)

[Philip DeFranco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-defranco/)

> [If the audience likes your work, if they like you, they don't think whether you are married or have children or not. I made…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dimple-kapadia/if-the-audience-likes-your-work-if-they-like-you-they-don-t-think/)

[Dimple Kapadia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dimple-kapadia/)

> [It doesnt seem to me strange that children should like the macabre, the sensational, and the forbidden.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-hecht/it-doesnt-seem-to-me-strange-that-children-should-like-the-macabre/)

[Anthony Hecht](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-hecht/)

> [Let children support their parents or be imprisoned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-children-support-their-parents-or-be-imprisoned/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/)

[Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/)

> [My embarrassing confession is that my father is a 'Camelot: The Musical' obsessive. So as a child, when we were going to visit relatives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-chibnall/my-embarrassing-confession-is-that-my-father-is-a-camelot-the-musical/)

[Chris Chibnall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-chibnall/)

> [I have many who keep me going, I am very fortunate in this sense. There is nothing like a child who knows more about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/floyd-cooper/i-have-many-who-keep-me-going-i-am-very-fortunate-in-this-sense-there/)

[Floyd Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/floyd-cooper/)

> [My school was one of the most beautiful places a child can grow up in. You are surrounded by nature - cats, dogs, birds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amala-akkineni/my-school-was-one-of-the-most-beautiful-places-a-child-can-grow-up-in/)

[Amala Akkineni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amala-akkineni/)

> [A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors, young and old, seem to be afflicted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camille-paglia/a-lesser-complaint-hair-extensions-there-are-moments-on-all-my/)

[Camille Paglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camille-paglia/)

> [As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me. There's a trust there. I feel like little girls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-cho/as-a-child-i-had-a-lot-of-older-gay-men-taking-care-of-me-there-s-a/)

[Margaret Cho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-cho/)

> [If my child had prejudice in his head, I'd be ashamed. I would see it as my failure as a parent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/salman-rushdie/if-my-child-had-prejudice-in-his-head-i-d-be-ashamed-i-would-see-it/)

[Salman Rushdie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/salman-rushdie/)

> [“Children's lives are always beginning and adults' lives are always ending. Or is it the opposite? Your childhood is always ending and your adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-espach/children-s-lives-are-always-beginning-and-adults-lives-are-always/)

[Alison Espach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-espach/)

> [As a child I was very involved with sports and I knew at age 9 that I wanted to be an Olympic champion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marion-jones/as-a-child-i-was-very-involved-with-sports-and-i-knew-at-age-9-that-i/)

[Marion Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marion-jones/)

[Browse all 62,396 Children quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“What I felt in each instance was sadness, loneliness (the loneliness of the abandoned child of whatever age), regret for time gone by, for things unsaid, for my inability to share or even in any real way to acknowledge, at the end, the pain and helplessness and physical humiliation they each endured. I understood the inevitability of each of their deaths. I had been expecting (fearing, dreading, anticipating) those deaths all my life. They remained, when they did occur, distanced, at a remove from the ongoing dailiness of my life.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Joan Didion"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/what-i-felt-in-each-instance-was-sadness-loneliness-the-loneliness-of/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Children"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/what-i-felt-in-each-instance-was-sadness-loneliness-the-loneliness-of/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d3/joan-didion-497_children_what-i-felt-in-each-instance-was-sadness_1036182.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d3/joan-didion-497_children_what-i-felt-in-each-instance-was-sadness_1036182.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d3/joan-didion-497_children_what-i-felt-in-each-instance-was-sadness_1036182.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“What I felt in each instance was sadness, loneliness (the loneliness of the abandoned child of whatever…” — Joan Didion",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Joan Didion",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“What I felt in each instance...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/what-i-felt-in-each-instance-was-sadness-loneliness-the-loneliness-of/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/what-i-felt-in-each-instance-was-sadness-loneliness-the-loneliness-of/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
