--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Grief, when it comes, is nothing we…" description: "\"Grief, when it comes, is nothing we expect it to be. Grief has no distance. Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehensions that weaken the knees..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07e/joan-didion-497_apprehension_grief-when-it-comes-is-nothing-we-expect_1423048.jpg" --- # Grief, when it comes, is nothing we expect it to be. Grief… ![“Grief, when it comes, is nothing we expect it to be. Grief has no distance. Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehensions that weaken the knees and blind the eyes and obliterate the dailiness of life.” quote by Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07e/joan-didion-497_apprehension_grief-when-it-comes-is-nothing-we-expect_1423048.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07e/joan-didion-497_apprehension_grief-when-it-comes-is-nothing-we-expect_1423048.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07e/joan-didion-497_apprehension_grief-when-it-comes-is-nothing-we-expect_1423048.jpg) > “Grief, when it comes, is nothing we expect it to be. Grief has no distance. Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehensions that weaken the knees and blind the eyes and obliterate the dailiness of life.” [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Grief arrives unexpectedly, overwhelming, and disrupts daily life without warning **In simple terms:** Grief hits suddenly and overwhelms normal life Key Takeaway Accept grief’s unpredictable nature and allow space for it Themes grief human experience emotional turmoil Mood somber introspective Type philosophical emotional When to use this quote - Counseling - personal loss - creative writing Key Concepts Psychology of loss existential reflection Questions to Reflect On - What does grief feel like in everyday moments? - How can we support others during unpredictable grief? A Different Perspective Grief’s intensity can be hard to articulate or share ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Apprehension](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/apprehension/) [Blind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/blind/) [Comes Waves](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comes-waves-405008/) [Distance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/distance/) [Distance Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/distance-grief-2255987/) [Expect Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/expect-grief-5045448/) [Eye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/eye/) [Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) [Grief Comes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief-comes-803512/) [Grief Distance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief-distance-2255988/) [Knees](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knees/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Magical thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/magical-thinking/) [Sorrow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sorrow/) [Suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suffering/) [Wave](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wave/) ## Related quotes > [“My father was dead, my mother was dead, I would need for a while to watch for mines, but I would still get up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/my-father-was-dead-my-mother-was-dead-i-would-need-for-a-while-to/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [“Grief is different. Grief has no distance. Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehensions that weaken the knees and blind the eyes and obliterate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/grief-is-different-grief-has-no-distance-grief-comes-in-waves/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [“Grief is different. Grief has no distance. Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehensions that weaken the knees and blind the eyes and obliterate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/grief-is-different-grief-has-no-distance-grief-comes-in-waves-2/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [I haven't written adult fiction, but I do not sugarcoat grief - or what I expect grief to be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-silvera/i-haven-t-written-adult-fiction-but-i-do-not-sugarcoat-grief-or-what/) [Adam Silvera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-silvera/) > [“Sometimes, when you'd least expect it, the grief would chop your legs out from under you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emmy-laybourne/sometimes-when-you-d-least-expect-it-the-grief-would-chop-your-legs/) [Emmy Laybourne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emmy-laybourne/) > [“Grief, when it comes, is nothing we expect it to be.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/grief-when-it-comes-is-nothing-we-expect-it-to-be/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [Grief, when it comes, is nothing like we expect it to be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/grief-when-it-comes-is-nothing-like-we-expect-it-to-be/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [“needed mothering. Grief and distance bound the wound, perfecting the bond”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-l-stedman/needed-mothering-grief-and-distance-bound-the-wound-perfecting-the/) [M.L. Stedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-l-stedman/) > [“After Princeton, the years seem like a blur, but the days seem more like rapid fire. - Donald Rumsfeld in Year of Magical Thinking”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/after-princeton-the-years-seem-like-a-blur-but-the-days-seem-more/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/grief-turns-out-to-be-a-place-none-of-us-know-until-we-reach-it/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [We are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/we-are-well-advised-to-keep-on-nodding-terms-with-the-people-we-used/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [Missing you comes in waves, tonight I'm drowning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patience/missing-you-comes-in-waves-tonight-i-m-drowning/) [Patience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patience/) > [Mourning is a multifaceted process and sort of comes in waves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lacey-sturm/mourning-is-a-multifaceted-process-and-sort-of-comes-in-waves/) [Lacey Sturm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lacey-sturm/) > [I've found that instability from growth comes in waves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-schaaf/i-ve-found-that-instability-from-growth-comes-in-waves/) [Alan Schaaf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-schaaf/) > [“Grief is like an ocean. It comes in waves - some waves are bigger than others and you cannot prepare for it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/summer-lane/grief-is-like-an-ocean-it-comes-in-waves-some-waves-are-bigger-than/) [Summer Lane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/summer-lane/) ## More by Joan Didion > [To shift the structure of a sentence alters the meaning of that sentence, as definitely and inflexibly as the position of a camera alters…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/to-shift-the-structure-of-a-sentence-alters-the-meaning-of-that/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [I work every day. Sometimes I don't accomplish anything every day, but if I don't work every day, I get depressed and get afraid…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/i-work-every-day-sometimes-i-don-t-accomplish-anything-every-day-but/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [Style is character.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/style-is-character/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [California is a place in which a boom mentality and a sense of Chekhovian loss meet in uneasy suspension.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/california-is-a-place-in-which-a-boom-mentality-and-a-sense-of/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [“I went because I was interested in the alchemy of issues.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/i-went-because-i-was-interested-in-the-alchemy-of-issues/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [“Why did I write it down? In order to remember, of course, but exactly what was it I wanted to remember? How much of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/why-did-i-write-it-down-in-order-to-remember-of-course-but-exactly/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [I no longer want reminders of what was, what got broken, what got lost, what got wasted.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/i-no-longer-want-reminders-of-what-was-what-got-broken-what-got-lost/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [My mother 'gave teas' the way other mothers breathed. Her own mother 'gave teas.' All of their friends 'gave teas,' each involving butter cookies…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/my-mother-gave-teas-the-way-other-mothers-breathed-her-own-mother/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [I'm not very interested in people. I recognize it in myself - there is a basic indifference toward people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/i-m-not-very-interested-in-people-i-recognize-it-in-myself-there-is-a/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [“Was there ever in anyone's life span a point free in time, devoid of memory, a point when choice was any more than sum…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/was-there-ever-in-anyone-s-life-span-a-point-free-in-time-devoid-of/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [“Research to date has shown that, like many other stressors, grief frequently leads to changes in the endocrine, immune, autonomic nervous, and cardiovascular systems;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/research-to-date-has-shown-that-like-many-other-stressors-grief/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [“By the end of the week she was thinking constantly about where her body stopped and the air began about the exact point in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/by-the-end-of-the-week-she-was-thinking-constantly-about-where-her/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [“I just can't see the upside in this," I heard myself say by way of explanation. Later he said that if John had been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/i-just-can-t-see-the-upside-in-this-i-heard-myself-say-by-way-of/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [ I read so ravenously that I would read through whole categories. I was crazy about reading biographies. \[...\] I think biographies are very urgent… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/i-read-so-ravenously-that-i-would-read-through-whole-categories-i-was/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [To those of us who remained committed mainly to the exploration of moral distinctions and ambiguities, the feminist analysis may have seemed a particularly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/to-those-of-us-who-remained-committed-mainly-to-the-exploration-of/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) [Explore all 515 Joan Didion quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) ## More Apprehension quotes > [Marriages are always moving from one season to another. Sometimes we find ourselves in winter--discouraged, detached, and dissatisfied; other times we experience springtime, with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/marriages-are-always-moving-from-one-season-to-another-sometimes-we/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Perhapsthemost sublimeinsights oftheJewishprophets and the Christian gospel is the knowledge that since perfection is love, the apprehension of perfection is at once the means…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/reinhold-niebuhr/perhapsthemost-sublimeinsights-ofthejewishprophets-and-the-christian/) [Reinhold Niebuhr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/reinhold-niebuhr/) > [At length weariness succeeds to labor, and the mind lies at ease in the contemplation of her own attainments without any desire of new…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-johnson/at-length-weariness-succeeds-to-labor-and-the-mind-lies-at-ease-in/) [Samuel Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-johnson/) > [The apprehension whether people will like it or not also doesn't bother me much. I've always done my work with a gut feeling that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiku-sharda/the-apprehension-whether-people-will-like-it-or-not-also-doesn-t/) [Kiku Sharda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiku-sharda/) > [LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/life-n-a-spiritual-pickle-preserving-the-body-from-decay-we-live-in/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [“Man may feel like a feeble and powerless pawn, at some moment in his life. This apprehension can come out of the blue, in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erik-pevernagie/man-may-feel-like-a-feeble-and-powerless-pawn-at-some-moment-in-his/) [Erik Pevernagie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erik-pevernagie/) > [We stand for organized terror - this should be frankly admitted. Terror is an absolute necessity during times of revolution. Our aim is to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/felix-dzerzhinsky/we-stand-for-organized-terror-this-should-be-frankly-admitted-terror/) [Felix Dzerzhinsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/felix-dzerzhinsky/) > [The regulation of commerce, it is true, is a new power; but that seems to be an addition which few oppose and from which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-madison/the-regulation-of-commerce-it-is-true-is-a-new-power-but-that-seems/) [James Madison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-madison/) > [As a father and grandfather, I have witnessed firsthand the joy of new life entering the world. I know the pain and apprehension that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/solomon-ortiz/as-a-father-and-grandfather-i-have-witnessed-firsthand-the-joy-of-new/) [Solomon Ortiz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/solomon-ortiz/) > [Lord, enlighten thou our enemies. Sharpen their wits, give acuteness to their perceptions, and consecutiveness and clearness to their reasoning powers: we are in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-stuart-mill/lord-enlighten-thou-our-enemies-sharpen-their-wits-give-acuteness-to/) [John Stuart Mill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-stuart-mill/) > [The sense of death is most in apprehension.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/the-sense-of-death-is-most-in-apprehension/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [Since philosophy is the exploration of the rational, it is for that very reason the apprehension of the present and the actual, not the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/georg-wilhelm-friedrich-hegel/since-philosophy-is-the-exploration-of-the-rational-it-is-for-that/) [Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/georg-wilhelm-friedrich-hegel/) > [Injustice is not evil in itself, but only in the fear and apprehension that one will not escape those who have been set up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epicurus/injustice-is-not-evil-in-itself-but-only-in-the-fear-and-apprehension/) [Epicurus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epicurus/) > [The fact about himself that the liar hides is that he is attempting to lead us away from a correct apprehension of reality; we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-frankfurt/the-fact-about-himself-that-the-liar-hides-is-that-he-is-attempting/) [Harry Frankfurt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-frankfurt/) > [“A person can hurry through or sleep walk through life, but whenever they stop to catch their breath or awaken from a long nap,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kilroy-j-oldster/a-person-can-hurry-through-or-sleep-walk-through-life-but-whenever/) [Kilroy J. Oldster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kilroy-j-oldster/) [Browse all 258 Apprehension quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/apprehension/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Grief, when it comes, is nothing we expect it to be. Grief has no distance. 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