--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: A cruel joke has been played on us. We…" description: "\"A cruel joke has been played on us. We are fated always to remember what we learned but never to recall the experiences that taught us. Who can remembe..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47b/jo-coudert-12482_abandonment_a-cruel-joke-has-been-played-on-us-we-ar_2818845.jpg" --- # A cruel joke has been played on us. We are fated always to… ![“A cruel joke has been played on us. We are fated always to remember what we learned but never to recall the experiences that taught us. Who can remember being born? Yet, it is possible to speculate that anxiety has its roots in this experience, that dread of abandonment, fears of separation…” quote by Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47b/jo-coudert-12482_abandonment_a-cruel-joke-has-been-played-on-us-we-ar_2818845.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47b/jo-coudert-12482_abandonment_a-cruel-joke-has-been-played-on-us-we-ar_2818845.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47b/jo-coudert-12482_abandonment_a-cruel-joke-has-been-played-on-us-we-ar_2818845.jpg) > “A cruel joke has been played on us. We are fated always to remember what we learned but never to recall the experiences that taught us. Who can remember being born? Yet, it is possible to speculate that anxiety has its roots in this experience, that dread of abandonment, fears of separation, intolerable loneliness go back to this moment. Who can remember being cared for as an infant? ... Who can remember being toilet-trained? ... Who can remember the attachment which developed to the parent of the opposite sex? ... We cannot remember but what we have forgotten lives on dynamically.” [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote reflects on how humans cannot recall early life experiences that shape deep anxieties, suggesting that forgotten memories still influence us. **In simple terms:** Early memories shape anxieties we can't recall. Key Takeaway Explore how early experiences affect current feelings. Themes psychology memory anxiety development attachment Mood reflective melancholic inquisitive Type philosophical psychological When to use this quote - therapy sessions - parenting - self‑reflection - education - mental‑health practice Key Concepts trauma implicit memory attachment theory Questions to Reflect On - What early experiences might be influencing your current fears? - How can we address anxieties rooted in forgotten memories? A Different Perspective The claim that we cannot remember early experiences is speculative and may overgeneralize. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Abandonment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abandonment/) [Anxiety](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anxiety/) [Attachment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attachment/) [Born](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/born/) [Dread](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dread/) [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [Forgotten](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgotten/) [Has beens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/has-beens/) [Infant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/infant/) [Jokes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/jokes/) [Loneliness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loneliness/) [Moments](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/moments/) [Opposites](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/opposites/) [Parent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parent/) [Recall Experiences](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/recall-experiences-1996873/) [Recalls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/recalls/) [Remember](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/remember/) [Remember Attachment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/remember-attachment-3574560/) [Remember Born](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/remember-born-235896/) [Remember Forgotten](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/remember-forgotten-703858/) [Remember Learned](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/remember-learned-685596/) [Roots](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/roots/) [Separation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/separation/) [Sex](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sex/) [Taught](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/taught/) [Taught us](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/taught-us/) [Toilets](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/toilets/) ## Related quotes > [Remember: no attachment should grow, no clinging should grow. They are all against your independence, your freedom, your individuality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rajneesh/remember-no-attachment-should-grow-no-clinging-should-grow-they-are/) [Rajneesh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rajneesh/) > [Not only can I not recall my experiences in my previous lives, sometimes I can't even remember what I did yesterday.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dalai-lama/not-only-can-i-not-recall-my-experiences-in-my-previous-lives/) [Dalai Lama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dalai-lama/) > [I want to write more books, see my first novel made into a film, fight more campaigns, work in more countries. I want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alastair-campbell/i-want-to-write-more-books-see-my-first-novel-made-into-a-film-fight/) [Alastair Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alastair-campbell/) > [The test of truth in life is not whether we can remember what we learned in school, but whether we are prepared for change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andreas-schleicher/the-test-of-truth-in-life-is-not-whether-we-can-remember-what-we/) [Andreas Schleicher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andreas-schleicher/) > [The key to effective teaching is to remember how you learned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/clive-james/the-key-to-effective-teaching-is-to-remember-how-you-learned/) [Clive James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/clive-james/) > [Trying to remember, I have learned, is like trying to clutch a handful of fog. Trying to forget, like trying to hold back the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-mccormick/trying-to-remember-i-have-learned-is-like-trying-to-clutch-a-handful-2/) [Patricia McCormick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-mccormick/) > [“Trying to remember, I have learned , is like trying to clutch a handful of fog. Trying to forget, like trying to hold back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-mccormick/trying-to-remember-i-have-learned-is-like-trying-to-clutch-a-handful/) [Patricia McCormick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-mccormick/) > [“After learning , please be realistic. Give yourself a permission to keep making mistakes. We must also give ourselves the gift of understanding that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-gray/after-learning-please-be-realistic-give-yourself-a-permission-to-keep/) [John Gray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-gray/) > [“If I could forget you! Is my love then a work of memory? Even if time expunged everything from its tablets, expunged even memory…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/s-ren-kierkegaard/if-i-could-forget-you-is-my-love-then-a-work-of-memory-even-if-time/) [Søren Kierkegaard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/s-ren-kierkegaard/) > [“That's because you are nobody, he reminded himself harshly. You're nothing to him. If you disappeared today, he'd probably never even remember you were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/santino-hassell/that-s-because-you-are-nobody-he-reminded-himself-harshly-you-re/) [Santino Hassell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/santino-hassell/) > [You're going to make the new friend impressed if you keep remember her when she'd forgotten](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-re-going-to-make-the-new-friend-impressed-if-you-keep-remember/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [To love is to remember. If you are forgotten, you are dead.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/to-love-is-to-remember-if-you-are-forgotten-you-are-dead/) [Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/) > [“The memory has a marvellous capacity to remember the forgotten, its existence and its stalking, and thus allow us to stay alert when we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/juan-gabriel-v-squez/the-memory-has-a-marvellous-capacity-to-remember-the-forgotten-its/) [Juan Gabriel Vásquez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/juan-gabriel-v-squez/) > [What the end of the carnage of World War II meant to those who remember it, can never be forgotten, but to all those…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/calvin-coolidge/what-the-end-of-the-carnage-of-world-war-ii-meant-to-those-who/) [Calvin Coolidge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/calvin-coolidge/) > [I don't want to be remembered. As long as my kids remember me, I'd rather be forgotten by everybody else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-tyson/i-don-t-want-to-be-remembered-as-long-as-my-kids-remember-me-i-d/) [Mike Tyson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-tyson/) ## More by Jo Coudert > [Of all the peple you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave nor lose. To the questions…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-coudert/of-all-the-peple-you-will-know-in-a-lifetime-you-are-the-only-one-you/) [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) > [We can win the struggle to avoid responsibility for our personal lives, but if we do, what we lose is our lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-coudert/we-can-win-the-struggle-to-avoid-responsibility-for-our-personal/) [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) > [It is possible to ruin a chicken in the cooking of it, but not easily. Short of burning it or letting it get dried…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-coudert/it-is-possible-to-ruin-a-chicken-in-the-cooking-of-it-but-not-easily/) [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) > [It is rewarding to find someone you like, but it is essential to like yourself. It is quickening to recognize that someone is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-coudert/it-is-rewarding-to-find-someone-you-like-but-it-is-essential-to-like/) [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) > [If life is envisioned as a continuously running motion picture, the keeping of a notebook stops the action and allows a meaningful scene to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-coudert/if-life-is-envisioned-as-a-continuously-running-motion-picture-the/) [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) > [Sometimes, if your own life is to add up, you must subtract yourself from someone else's life. This time comes, I think, whenever you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-coudert/sometimes-if-your-own-life-is-to-add-up-you-must-subtract-yourself/) [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) > [In order to plan your future wisely, it is necessary that you understand and appreciate your past.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-coudert/in-order-to-plan-your-future-wisely-it-is-necessary-that-you/) [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) > [The valuable friends are those who make you expand, who make you feel more decent and wiser than you suspect yourself to be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-coudert/the-valuable-friends-are-those-who-make-you-expand-who-make-you-feel/) [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) > [I saw one of the absolute truths of this world: each person is worrying about himself; no one is worrying about you. He or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-coudert/i-saw-one-of-the-absolute-truths-of-this-world-each-person-is/) [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) > [While it is necessary to eat and therefore it is pleasantest to eat food that looks handsome and tastes good, on the other hand…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-coudert/while-it-is-necessary-to-eat-and-therefore-it-is-pleasantest-to-eat/) [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) > [We are all so much more interesting to ourselves than to anyone else because we know how many potentialities are alive in us, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-coudert/we-are-all-so-much-more-interesting-to-ourselves-than-to-anyone-else/) [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) > [cookbooks, I found, are intended for people with time to cook - and, surprisingly often, for people who already know how to cook.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-coudert/cookbooks-i-found-are-intended-for-people-with-time-to-cook-and/) [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) > [One does not marry to become a judge of the spouse's behavior. If a marriage license is mistaken for a hunting license and disapproval,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-coudert/one-does-not-marry-to-become-a-judge-of-the-spouse-s-behavior-if-a/) [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) > [Most people ask of their friends that they understand them, but, on balance, I think I prefer a friend who understands himself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-coudert/most-people-ask-of-their-friends-that-they-understand-them-but-on/) [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) > [Both praise and criticism are reinforcing, but praise reinforces good traits, criticism bad traits. To criticize with the thought that pointing out deficiencies will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jo-coudert/both-praise-and-criticism-are-reinforcing-but-praise-reinforces-good/) [Jo Coudert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) [Explore all 54 Jo Coudert quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jo-coudert/) ## More Abandonment quotes > [If our faith in God is not the veriest sham, it demands, and will produce, the abandonment sometimes, the subordination always, of external helps…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-maclaren/if-our-faith-in-god-is-not-the-veriest-sham-it-demands-and-will/) [Alexander MacLaren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-maclaren/) > [I don't believe in fate or destiny. I believe in various degrees of hatred, paranoia, and abandonment. However much of that gets heaped upon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-rollins/i-don-t-believe-in-fate-or-destiny-i-believe-in-various-degrees-of/) [Henry Rollins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-rollins/) > [In the eyes of those lovers of perfection, a work is never finished a word that for them has no sense but abandoned; and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-valery/in-the-eyes-of-those-lovers-of-perfection-a-work-is-never-finished-a/) [Paul Valery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-valery/) > [“Sometimes people walk away from love because it is so beautiful that it terrifies them. Sometimes they leave because the connection shines a bright…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-brown/sometimes-people-walk-away-from-love-because-it-is-so-beautiful-that/) [Jeff Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-brown/) > [Modern societies accepted the treasures and the power offered them by science. But they have not accepted - they have scarcely even heard -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-monod/modern-societies-accepted-the-treasures-and-the-power-offered-them-by/) [Jacques Monod](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-monod/) > [Judaism is absolutely incompatible with the abandonment of the Torah.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/solomon-schechter/judaism-is-absolutely-incompatible-with-the-abandonment-of-the-torah/) [Solomon Schechter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/solomon-schechter/) > [“Abandonment is ugly.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-moore/abandonment-is-ugly/) [Michelle Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-moore/) > [In our culture of constant access and nonstop media, nothing feels more like a curse from God than time in the wilderness. To be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-martin/in-our-culture-of-constant-access-and-nonstop-media-nothing-feels/) [Jonathan Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-martin/) > [“When you give everything, you have nothing to lose.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-mcgahan/when-you-give-everything-you-have-nothing-to-lose/) [Kate McGahan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-mcgahan/) > [The only thing worse than being abandoned, is not being worthy of an explanation. It hurts to let go... but the feeling you're falling..…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joryneville/the-only-thing-worse-than-being-abandoned-is-not-being-worthy-of-an/) [JoryNeville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joryneville/) > [“I am not so different in my history of abandonment from anyone else after all. We have all been split away from each other,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-griffin/i-am-not-so-different-in-my-history-of-abandonment-from-anyone-else/) [Susan Griffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-griffin/) > [“The introduction to horrors so young impressed on me just how helpless and vulnerable I was. Parents are supposed to empower their children to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christina-enevoldsen/the-introduction-to-horrors-so-young-impressed-on-me-just-how/) [Christina Enevoldsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christina-enevoldsen/) > [Heartbreak has an archetypal core, all heartbroken individuals suffer from the same kind of torture.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ginette-paris/heartbreak-has-an-archetypal-core-all-heartbroken-individuals-suffer/) [Ginette Paris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ginette-paris/) > [“Lonely Balcony The deterioration brought by weariness was visible. Its burden of abandonment can be perceived at a glance. The balcony ache with longings.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iqra-iqbal/lonely-balcony-the-deterioration-brought-by-weariness-was-visible-its/) [iqra iqbal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iqra-iqbal/) > [God causes us to promise in time of peace what He exacts from us in time of war; He enables us to make our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanne-marie-bouvier-de-la-motte-guyon/god-causes-us-to-promise-in-time-of-peace-what-he-exacts-from-us-in/) [Jeanne Marie Bouvier de la Motte Guyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanne-marie-bouvier-de-la-motte-guyon/) [Browse all 348 Abandonment quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abandonment/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "A cruel joke has been played on us. We are fated always to remember what we learned but never to recall the experiences that taught us. Who can remember being born? 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