--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It was on the table when I got here,\"…" description: "\"“It was on the table when I got here,\" Matt said in his defense. Josh eyed the open magazine. \"You don't already know how to satisfy your boyfriends in..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a71/jill-shalvis-838_blow-job_it-was-on-the-table-when-i-got-here-matt_325502.png" --- # It was on the table when I got here," Matt said in his… ![“It was on the table when I got here," Matt said in his defense. Josh eyed the open magazine. "You don't already know how to satisfy your boyfriends in bed?" Matt ignored this. "Did either of you know there's ninety-nine ways to give a blow job? That's ninety-nine nights of blow jobs." "Look at you…” quote by Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a71/jill-shalvis-838_blow-job_it-was-on-the-table-when-i-got-here-matt_325502.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a71/jill-shalvis-838_blow-job_it-was-on-the-table-when-i-got-here-matt_325502.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a71/jill-shalvis-838_blow-job_it-was-on-the-table-when-i-got-here-matt_325502.png) > ““It was on the table when I got here," Matt said in his defense. Josh eyed the open magazine. "You don't already know how to satisfy your boyfriends in bed?" Matt ignored this. "Did either of you know there's ninety-nine ways to give a blow job? That's ninety-nine nights of blow jobs." "Look at you with the math skills," Josh said. Matt flipped him off while Ty flipped the page. "'How to Give Your Hoo-Ha a Spa Day.' Huh," he said. "I didn't know a woman's hoo-ha needed a spa day.”” [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A humorous, absurd dialogue about sexual performance expectations and media influence, highlighting awkwardness and satire. **In simple terms:** A funny, odd conversation about sex tips and media. Key Takeaway Question absurd media claims and social pressures. Themes humor sexuality media satire awkwardness Mood playful ironic Type satirical conversational When to use this quote - college life - friend banter - sexual discussions - media consumption Key Concepts social norms sexual education media influence Questions to Reflect On - What does this reveal about how we discuss intimacy? - How does satire affect perception of sexual advice? A Different Perspective Humor may trivialize serious topics; could offend. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Spa Day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spa-day/) ## Related quotes > [“Why do you get to act all crazy over a guy and I don't?" Anna asked. "You have to earn the crazy," Grace said.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/why-do-you-get-to-act-all-crazy-over-a-guy-and-i-don-t-anna-asked-you/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [“Arf! Arf, arf, arf!" Oh, Jesus, the Antichrist's barking was going to split open his head. "Quiet, Tank," Grace said. "Toby, baby, grab him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/arf-arf-arf-arf-oh-jesus-the-antichrist-s-barking-was-going-to-split/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [“Look,” she said, “apparently you bring out my inner slut. 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Matt's entire heart turned over in his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/the-question-is-did-you-get-your-life-changing-experience-amy-looked/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [“Then there are the simple things. The way she fits against my side when we’re sitting together. How she can silence my addled thoughts…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erik-tomblin/then-there-are-the-simple-things-the-way-she-fits-against-my-side/) [Erik Tomblin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erik-tomblin/) > [“Promises Made and kept Forgotten in keyless chambers Dusty with age and neglect Promises - that once were, Still are, Will always be..”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/akanksha-singh/promises-made-and-kept-forgotten-in-keyless-chambers-dusty-with-age/) [Akanksha Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/akanksha-singh/) > [“There is a place where the sidewalk ends And before the street begins, And there the grass grows soft and white, And there the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shel-silverstein/there-is-a-place-where-the-sidewalk-ends-and-before-the-street-begins-2/) [Shel Silverstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shel-silverstein/) > [“I’m a realist,” I said. “Lying and making promises about forever is almost as bad as one day at a time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/i-m-a-realist-i-said-lying-and-making-promises-about-forever-is/) [Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/) > [“I said Matt was too perfect. I was tired of trying to love him, tired of the burden of being loved. How could anyone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-whitfield-thomson/i-said-matt-was-too-perfect-i-was-tired-of-trying-to-love-him-tired/) [James Whitfield Thomson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-whitfield-thomson/) > [“Then I said, “Matt’s got a big mouth.” “They all got big mouths, girl, learn that quick. These boys talk more than a pack…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-ashley/then-i-said-matt-s-got-a-big-mouth-they-all-got-big-mouths-girl-learn/) [Kristen Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-ashley/) > [“Matt opened the door. “We seriously need to finish the process with her hair.” “Two more minutes,” Trace said. Matt balked over the delay,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lori-foster/matt-opened-the-door-we-seriously-need-to-finish-the-process-with-her/) [Lori Foster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lori-foster/) > [A little extra forgiveness never hurts," said Matt, quoting one of Celia's favorite sayings.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-farmer/a-little-extra-forgiveness-never-hurts-said-matt-quoting-one-of-celia/) [Nancy Farmer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-farmer/) > [“(Celeste) Be the hero, Matty. Come on. You're supposed to be the hero now. The romatic lead." "I know that, too," he said. Matt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-park/celeste-be-the-hero-matty-come-on-you-re-supposed-to-be-the-hero-now/) [Jessica Park](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-park/) ## More by Jill Shalvis > [“But dammit, she was tired. Tired of doing what was expected, tired of feeling like she was missing something.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/but-dammit-she-was-tired-tired-of-doing-what-was-expected-tired-of/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [“And not that I don't love those words, but what were you wrong about?" "Walking away from you." She stepped into him. "I'm done…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/and-not-that-i-don-t-love-those-words-but-what-were-you-wrong-about/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [“This put her in the possession of two guns. I Love Lucy does Criminal Minds.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/this-put-her-in-the-possession-of-two-guns-i-love-lucy-does-criminal/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [“What is it with us?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/what-is-it-with-us/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [“The kiss had been shockingly... wow. Which had led to one thing or another, and some more wow, along with a good dash of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/the-kiss-had-been-shockingly-wow-which-had-led-to-one-thing-or/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [“I've given up men. It's true. At first, I was just going to give up attorneys, but that seemed immature - and far too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/i-ve-given-up-men-it-s-true-at-first-i-was-just-going-to-give-up/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [Where did that flashlight come from?" Chloe asked. "My purse." Chloe looked at Tara. "She carries a flashlight in her purse." "For emergencies," Maddie…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/where-did-that-flashlight-come-from-chloe-asked-my-purse-chloe-looked/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [Logan, why aren't you wearing protection?" The radio crackled, and then came Logan's voice. "I have 'protection' in my bag," he said. "But as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/logan-why-aren-t-you-wearing-protection-the-radio-crackled-and-then/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [“So what do you think I should do for myself then?" "Whatever feels right." She stared at him for the longest beat, and then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/so-what-do-you-think-i-should-do-for-myself-then-whatever-feels-right/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [“With a smug smirk, he kissed her again, then slid into her. Pleasure flooded her, so intense it arched her back and had her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/with-a-smug-smirk-he-kissed-her-again-then-slid-into-her-pleasure/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [“I think you have a case of being a little girl. Maybe you should prescribe yourself a heavy dose of man-the-fuck-up.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/i-think-you-have-a-case-of-being-a-little-girl-maybe-you-should/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [“She was like a drug. The most addicting kind, and he had a problem—he was pretty sure that she was developing feelings for him.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/she-was-like-a-drug-the-most-addicting-kind-and-he-had-a-problem-he/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [“Let me in.' 'Come to the door.' You always demanding like that? No wonder she isn't answering. Try asking sometime. Not all women will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/let-me-in-come-to-the-door-you-always-demanding-like-that-no-wonder/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [Forever this time," he said as Sawyer strode toward them. Tara sighed blissfully. "You know what this means, right?" "I'm done guessing," he said.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/forever-this-time-he-said-as-sawyer-strode-toward-them-tara-sighed/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [Remember, you’re unique. And so is everyone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/remember-you-re-unique-and-so-is-everyone-else/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) [Explore all 356 Jill Shalvis quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) ## More Blow job quotes > [“But beneath them all, at the very bottom of the stack, is a worn and slightly tattered magazine called African Mamas Sucking Hog. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-dubus-iii/but-beneath-them-all-at-the-very-bottom-of-the-stack-is-a-worn-and/) [Andre Dubus III](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-dubus-iii/) > [“Bitch, have you been getting collagen in those lips? You look like you gave a blow job to a Hoover attachment.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heidi-cullinan/bitch-have-you-been-getting-collagen-in-those-lips-you-look-like-you/) [Heidi Cullinan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heidi-cullinan/) > [“You took out a book on blow-job technique from the British Library? 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Sometimes it's a shit sandwich and a kick in the nuts.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-cole/life-ain-t-all-blow-jobs-and-ice-cream-sometimes-it-s-a-shit-sandwich/) Matt Cole > [“Jesus, Martin, what the hell do I pay you for?” “My good looks, the occasional blow job, and my constant supply of Jim Beam.”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adrienne-wilder/jesus-martin-what-the-hell-do-i-pay-you-for-my-good-looks-the/) [Adrienne Wilder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adrienne-wilder/) > [When I was meeting people in L.A., guys always thought if they paid for dinner, they deserved a blow job. But generally, I'll say…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katy-perry/when-i-was-meeting-people-in-l-a-guys-always-thought-if-they-paid-for/) [Katy Perry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katy-perry/) > [“She’s calling our house. What ten-year-old girl needs to call a boy’s house? A slutty ten-year-old girl, that’s who. She’s got her sights on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-sivec/she-s-calling-our-house-what-ten-year-old-girl-needs-to-call-a-boy-s/) [Tara Sivec](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-sivec/) > [Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-david/did-bill-clinton-actually-think-that-he-could-get-blow-jobs-from-a/) [Larry David](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-david/) > [“Calm down, calm down. Deep breath,” Colleen whispered. “It's showtime. He's a nice guy, you're a nice woman.” “Hey, Paulie,” Bryce said as he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristan-higgins/calm-down-calm-down-deep-breath-colleen-whispered-it-s-showtime-he-s/) [Kristan Higgins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristan-higgins/) > [“It doesn’t matter anyway!” Patrick couldn’t sit down. He couldn’t. “It’s not like sex is anything to shout about! It’s icky, and the guy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-lane/it-doesn-t-matter-anyway-patrick-couldn-t-sit-down-he-couldn-t-it-s/) [Amy Lane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-lane/) > [“He's just pissed because he's been married for so fucking long, he can't remember what a blow job feels like," Matt says, earning a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-proby/he-s-just-pissed-because-he-s-been-married-for-so-fucking-long-he-can/) [Kristen Proby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-proby/) > [Basically my new litmus test for people is, do they make me hear about a blow job they gave in the first ten minutes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lena-dunham/basically-my-new-litmus-test-for-people-is-do-they-make-me-hear-about/) [Lena Dunham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lena-dunham/) > [“With a soft gasp from Aaron, the soundtrack started up in Joey’s brain again. Goldfrapp’s “Ooh La La” was perfect for blow jobs. If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/k-a-mitchell/with-a-soft-gasp-from-aaron-the-soundtrack-started-up-in-joey-s-brain/) [K.A. Mitchell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/k-a-mitchell/) > [“You gotta come home. Be with me. After what we been through! We—we signed into that motel as man and wife! You put—you put…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-robbins/you-gotta-come-home-be-with-me-after-what-we-been-through-we-we/) [Tom Robbins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-robbins/) Browse all 124 Blow job quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It was on the table when I got here,\" Matt said in his defense. Josh eyed the open magazine. \"You don't already know how to satisfy your boyfriends in bed?\" Matt ignored this. \"Did either of you know there's ninety-nine ways to give a blow job? That's ninety-nine nights of blow jobs.\" \"Look at you with the math skills,\" Josh said. Matt flipped him off while Ty flipped the page. \"'How to Give Your Hoo-Ha a Spa Day.' 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