---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Wanting to be liked means being a…"
description: "\"Wanting to be liked means being a supporting character in your own life, using the cues of the actors around you to determine your next line rather tha..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2e/jessica-valenti-1960_actors_wanting-to-be-liked-means-being-a-suppor_2628860.jpg"
---

#  Wanting to be liked means being a supporting character in…

![“Wanting to be liked means being a supporting character in your own life, using the cues of the actors around you to determine your next line rather than your own script. It means that your self-worth will always be tied to what someone else thinks about you, forever out of your control.” quote by Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2e/jessica-valenti-1960_actors_wanting-to-be-liked-means-being-a-suppor_2628860.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2e/jessica-valenti-1960_actors_wanting-to-be-liked-means-being-a-suppor_2628860.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2e/jessica-valenti-1960_actors_wanting-to-be-liked-means-being-a-suppor_2628860.jpg)

> “Wanting to be liked means being a supporting character in your own life, using the cues of the actors around you to determine your next line rather than your own script. It means that your self-worth will always be tied to what someone else thinks about you, forever out of your control.”

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Seeking approval makes you a secondary character in your own story, tying self-worth to external validation and losing agency.

**In simple terms:** Approval seeking cedes control of your life.

Key Takeaway

Prioritize your own script over others' expectations.

Themes

self-esteem autonomy identity

Mood

empowering introspective

Type

psychological motivational

When to use this quote

- personal relationships
- career decisions
- social media
- family dynamics

Key Concepts

external validation self-worth agency

Questions to Reflect On

- What would your life look like without seeking approval?
- How can you balance self-approval with healthy feedback?

A Different Perspective

External validation can sometimes be necessary for social cohesion.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Actors](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/actors/) [Character](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/character/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self/) [Self worth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-worth/) [Thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking/)

## Related quotes

> [I'm definitely not above wanting to be liked. Because, I mean, that feels less... lonely? But to be honest, because it was never my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aldous-harding/i-m-definitely-not-above-wanting-to-be-liked-because-i-mean-that/)

[Aldous Harding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aldous-harding/)

> [I think the desire to be funny was a mixture of wanting to be liked but also wanting to throw your elbows a bit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-rust/i-think-the-desire-to-be-funny-was-a-mixture-of-wanting-to-be-liked/)

[Paul Rust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-rust/)

> [“I am shocked to find that some people think a 2 star 'I liked it' rating is a bad rating. What? I liked it.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-hobb/i-am-shocked-to-find-that-some-people-think-a-2-star-i-liked-it/)

[Robin Hobb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-hobb/)

> [Being popular comes when you have everything. But to be liked, it means that you must be treating people with respect and you must…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/queen-rania-of-jordan/being-popular-comes-when-you-have-everything-but-to-be-liked-it-means/)

[Queen Rania of Jordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/queen-rania-of-jordan/)

> [“You really can't go through life wanting to be liked. It's the hardest lesson to learn. Once you say, "Fuck it, I don't care,"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-mcdonough/you-really-can-t-go-through-life-wanting-to-be-liked-it-s-the-hardest/)

Jimmy McDonough

> [“Wanting to be liked can get in the way of truth.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/delia-ephron/wanting-to-be-liked-can-get-in-the-way-of-truth/)

[Delia Ephron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/delia-ephron/)

> [“Wanting to be liked is often a very unlikeable characteristic.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-fry/wanting-to-be-liked-is-often-a-very-unlikeable-characteristic/)

[Stephen Fry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-fry/)

> [Don't trap yourself with the desire of wanting to be liked.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jada-pinkett-smith/don-t-trap-yourself-with-the-desire-of-wanting-to-be-liked/)

[Jada Pinkett Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jada-pinkett-smith/)

> [Painting is a means of self-enlightenment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-olsen/painting-is-a-means-of-self-enlightenment/)

[John Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-olsen/)

> [I think that fashion is very important for me and I think that it's a wonderful means of self-expression.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brie-larson/i-think-that-fashion-is-very-important-for-me-and-i-think-that-it-s-a/)

[Brie Larson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brie-larson/)

> [Immaturity means self-centeredness, inability to compromise, to rise above hurt feelings, to postpone immediate pleasures in favor of future benefits, or to do unpleasant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arnold-j-toynbee/immaturity-means-self-centeredness-inability-to-compromise-to-rise/)

[Arnold J. Toynbee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arnold-j-toynbee/)

> [ “I’ means the Self and ‘my’ means what belongs to the self. All that is ‘my’ is acquisition \[parigrah\]. You should keep \[only\] whatever… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dada-bhagwan/i-means-the-self-and-my-means-what-belongs-to-the-self-all-that-is-my/)

[Dada Bhagwan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dada-bhagwan/)

> [Ego means self-identification with thinking, to be trapped in thought, which means to have a mental image of "me" based on thought and emotions.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eckhart-tolle/ego-means-self-identification-with-thinking-to-be-trapped-in-thought/)

[Eckhart Tolle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eckhart-tolle/)

> [Anarchism, to me, means not only the denial of authority, not only a new economy, but a revision of the principles of morality. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltairine-de-cleyre/anarchism-to-me-means-not-only-the-denial-of-authority-not-only-a-new/)

[Voltairine de Cleyre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltairine-de-cleyre/)

> [“As only God has an absolute value, everything that is not God can have only relative value. To be created means that one’s being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-benoist/as-only-god-has-an-absolute-value-everything-that-is-not-god-can-have/)

[Alain de Benoist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-benoist/)

## More by Jessica Valenti

> [The less obvious hurdle is that of preparing parents emotionally and putting forward realistic images of parenthood and motherhood. There also needs to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/the-less-obvious-hurdle-is-that-of-preparing-parents-emotionally-and/)

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

> [Social media is not just another way to connect feminist and activist voices - it amplifies our messages as well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/social-media-is-not-just-another-way-to-connect-feminist-and-activist/)

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

> [Women are brought up to believe you are going to be the better parent and you know what's best. I don't think that's necessarily…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/women-are-brought-up-to-believe-you-are-going-to-be-the-better-parent/)

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

> [“What is closer to the truth is that when confronted with the love you deserve, it is easier to mock it than accept it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/what-is-closer-to-the-truth-is-that-when-confronted-with-the-love-you/)

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

> [Stress from blogging keeps me up at night.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/stress-from-blogging-keeps-me-up-at-night/)

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

> [I think we get into very dangerous territory when we start to define who can and cannot be a feminist. It's such a slippery…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/i-think-we-get-into-very-dangerous-territory-when-we-start-to-define/)

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

> [It used to be, if you wanted to have a strong, influential voice in the feminist movement, you really needed to be part of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/it-used-to-be-if-you-wanted-to-have-a-strong-influential-voice-in-the/)

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

> [The implications of likability are long-lasting and serious. Women adjust their behavior to be likable and as a result have less power in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/the-implications-of-likability-are-long-lasting-and-serious-women/)

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

> [I think I was in high school, actually, and it was a guidance counselor or someone said, you know, you're just too loud; like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/i-think-i-was-in-high-school-actually-and-it-was-a-guidance-counselor/)

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

> [The only purpose of an engagement ring is to show you 'belong' to someone, and your man makes bank.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/the-only-purpose-of-an-engagement-ring-is-to-show-you-belong-to/)

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

> [Something I say a lot when it comes to anti-feminist stereotypes is that they exist for a reason. The stereotypes of feminists as ugly,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/something-i-say-a-lot-when-it-comes-to-anti-feminist-stereotypes-is/)

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

> [Even the notion that women should have children at all is based on the idea that a woman's inherent and most important role is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/even-the-notion-that-women-should-have-children-at-all-is-based-on/)

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

> [I do think that there is a real crisis of masculinity that's happening in America. I think the problem is - the way it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/i-do-think-that-there-is-a-real-crisis-of-masculinity-that-s/)

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

> [Young women know that something is off; they know that the world is a messed-up place. They know that the world is a sexist…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/young-women-know-that-something-is-off-they-know-that-the-world-is-a/)

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

> [“I’m talking about the soul-crushing drudgery of day-to-day parenthood that we’re too embarrassed to talk about. The boredom, the stress, the nagging dissatisfaction, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/i-m-talking-about-the-soul-crushing-drudgery-of-day-to-day-parenthood/)

[Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

[Explore all 195 Jessica Valenti quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/)

## More Actors quotes

> [Women still, when they have breast cancer, go to work; they still lead their lives. They have to. I just did what I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/monica-potter/women-still-when-they-have-breast-cancer-go-to-work-they-still-lead/)

[Monica Potter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/monica-potter/)

> [I'm trying to write a film with my friend. I'd love to get the thrill of speaking actors making my work even funnier.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-howard/i-m-trying-to-write-a-film-with-my-friend-i-d-love-to-get-the-thrill/)

[Russell Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/russell-howard/)

> [A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors, young and old, seem to be afflicted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camille-paglia/a-lesser-complaint-hair-extensions-there-are-moments-on-all-my/)

[Camille Paglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camille-paglia/)

> [I'm very used to working with first time actors - you can just look back at 'E.T.' with Drew Barrymore, and Christian Bale from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-spielberg/i-m-very-used-to-working-with-first-time-actors-you-can-just-look/)

[Steven Spielberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-spielberg/)

> [Forget the credit, they (male actors) take all the money as well. We don't get paid even one-third of what male actors get. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kangana-ranaut/forget-the-credit-they-male-actors-take-all-the-money-as-well-we-don/)

[Kangana Ranaut](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kangana-ranaut/)

> [I love film people and actors and I am in the right world because I am one of those people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ewan-mcgregor/i-love-film-people-and-actors-and-i-am-in-the-right-world-because-i/)

[Ewan McGregor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ewan-mcgregor/)

> [I'm a character actor - always have been, always will be - and historically, character actors don't come into their own until later in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annie-potts/i-m-a-character-actor-always-have-been-always-will-be-and/)

[Annie Potts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annie-potts/)

> [What we're supposed to do as actors is be able to portray real human beings and emotions. And if you grow up in this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-browning/what-we-re-supposed-to-do-as-actors-is-be-able-to-portray-real-human/)

[Emily Browning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-browning/)

> [When we watch a film as actors, you have to understand that we always see much more than what's on screen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kunal-khemu/when-we-watch-a-film-as-actors-you-have-to-understand-that-we-always/)

[Kunal Khemu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kunal-khemu/)

> [As actors, you become an expert at starting over.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lupita-nyong-o/as-actors-you-become-an-expert-at-starting-over/)

[Lupita Nyong'o](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lupita-nyong-o/)

> [The whole concept of stage fright is fascinating. Actors get stage fright, but they wouldn't be on the stage in the first place if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-greene/the-whole-concept-of-stage-fright-is-fascinating-actors-get-stage/)

[Robert Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-greene/)

> [No actor wants to choose - they just want all of the options available to them all the time; we tend to be pretty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gillian-jacobs/no-actor-wants-to-choose-they-just-want-all-of-the-options-available/)

[Gillian Jacobs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gillian-jacobs/)

> [A rapper is about being completely true to yourself. Being an actor is about changing who you are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/will-smith/a-rapper-is-about-being-completely-true-to-yourself-being-an-actor-is/)

[Will Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/will-smith/)

> [I've been a professional actor for almost 40 years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ron-perlman/i-ve-been-a-professional-actor-for-almost-40-years/)

[Ron Perlman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ron-perlman/)

> [American actors are coy. We all have pricks and cunts, or are you different from the rest of us?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-greenaway/american-actors-are-coy-we-all-have-pricks-and-cunts-or-are-you/)

[Peter Greenaway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-greenaway/)

[Browse all 11,394 Actors quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/actors/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "Wanting to be liked means being a supporting character in your own life, using the cues of the actors around you to determine your next line rather than your own script. It means that your self-worth will always be tied to what someone else thinks about you, forever out of your control.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Jessica Valenti"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/wanting-to-be-liked-means-being-a-supporting-character-in-your-own/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Actors"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/wanting-to-be-liked-means-being-a-supporting-character-in-your-own/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2e/jessica-valenti-1960_actors_wanting-to-be-liked-means-being-a-suppor_2628860.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2e/jessica-valenti-1960_actors_wanting-to-be-liked-means-being-a-suppor_2628860.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2e/jessica-valenti-1960_actors_wanting-to-be-liked-means-being-a-suppor_2628860.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Wanting to be liked means being a supporting character in your own life, using the cues of the actors around…” — Jessica Valenti",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Jessica Valenti",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Wanting to be liked means being...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/wanting-to-be-liked-means-being-a-supporting-character-in-your-own/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/wanting-to-be-liked-means-being-a-supporting-character-in-your-own/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
