---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: You can't hate yourself happy, You can't…"
description: "\"You can't hate yourself happy, You can't criticize yourself thin, You can't shame yourself wealthy. Real change begins with self-love and self care.\" —..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e89/jessica-ortner-30168_care_you-can-t-hate-yourself-happy-you-can-t_1263020.png"
---

#  You can't hate yourself happy, You can't criticize…

![“You can't hate yourself happy, You can't criticize yourself thin, You can't shame yourself wealthy. Real change begins with self-love and self care.” quote by Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e89/jessica-ortner-30168_care_you-can-t-hate-yourself-happy-you-can-t_1263020.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e89/jessica-ortner-30168_care_you-can-t-hate-yourself-happy-you-can-t_1263020.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e89/jessica-ortner-30168_care_you-can-t-hate-yourself-happy-you-can-t_1263020.png)

> “You can't hate yourself happy, You can't criticize yourself thin, You can't shame yourself wealthy. Real change begins with self-love and self care.”

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Self‑love and self‑care are prerequisites for genuine change; you cannot criticize or shame yourself into success.

**In simple terms:** Love and care for yourself first.

Key Takeaway

Self‑love precedes real transformation.

Themes

self‑care self‑love personal change

Mood

encouraging hopeful

Type

advice motivational

When to use this quote

- weight loss
- mental health
- career change
- habit formation

Key Concepts

psychology well‑being self‑compassion

Questions to Reflect On

- How can you practice self‑compassion?
- What small self‑care habit can you start?

A Different Perspective

Self‑criticism can undermine progress.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Begins Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/begins-self-902445/) [Care](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/care/) [Change](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/change/) [Criticize](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/criticize/) [Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate/) [Hate you](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate-you/) [Love Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-self/) [Real](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real/) [Real change](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real-change/) [Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self/) [Self care](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-care/) [Self love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-love/) [Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shame/) [Wealthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wealthy/)

## Related quotes

> [Don't abuse yourself or withhold self-love or self-care.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bryant-h-mcgill/don-t-abuse-yourself-or-withhold-self-love-or-self-care/)

[Bryant H. McGill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bryant-h-mcgill/)

> [All self improvement begins with self growth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/senoraroy/all-self-improvement-begins-with-self-growth/)

[Senoraroy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/senoraroy/)

> [I think the most difficult love begins with one's self. How you treat yourself is something you bring to your relationships.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/javier-bardem/i-think-the-most-difficult-love-begins-with-one-s-self-how-you-treat/)

[Javier Bardem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/javier-bardem/)

> [Wise criticism always begins with self-criticism.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abraham-joshua-heschel/wise-criticism-always-begins-with-self-criticism/)

[Abraham Joshua Heschel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abraham-joshua-heschel/)

> [Revolution begins with the self, in the self… We'd better take the time to fashion revolutionary selves, revolutionary lives, revolutionary relationships. Mouth don't win…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toni-cade-bambara/revolution-begins-with-the-self-in-the-self-we-d-better-take-the-time/)

[Toni Cade Bambara](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toni-cade-bambara/)

> [Religion, like all things, begins with self, And naught is known, until one knows himself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-eliot/religion-like-all-things-begins-with-self-and-naught-is-known-until/)

[George Eliot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-eliot/)

> [Murder begins where self-defense ends.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/georg-b-chner/murder-begins-where-self-defense-ends/)

[Georg Buchner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/georg-b-chner/)

> [The road back from degradation begins with self-awareness - and sometimes, as in 'Phone Booth,' change can begin with a single phone call.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elvis-mitchell/the-road-back-from-degradation-begins-with-self-awareness-and/)

[Elvis Mitchell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elvis-mitchell/)

> [Revolution begins with the self, in the self.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toni-cade-bambara/revolution-begins-with-the-self-in-the-self/)

[Toni Cade Bambara](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toni-cade-bambara/)

> [“Greatness begins with self-belief. You are the beginning, the possibility, not the culmination of a final chapter.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/d-l-lewis/greatness-begins-with-self-belief-you-are-the-beginning-the/)

[D.L. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/d-l-lewis/)

> [The art of appreciation begins with self appreciation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-art-of-appreciation-begins-with-self-appreciation/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Because we haven’t been taught to appreciate and love ourselves in this way, we don’t feel like we deserve self-care and pleasure. Instead, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/because-we-haven-t-been-taught-to-appreciate-and-love-ourselves-in/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

> [I still go to the conventions, and I like to hear the point of view of people today. I'm a little afraid they're being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-harryhausen/i-still-go-to-the-conventions-and-i-like-to-hear-the-point-of-view-of/)

[Ray Harryhausen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ray-harryhausen/)

> [“The most saddening thing is to admit that I am not in love. I can only love (if that means self denial - or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvia-plath/the-most-saddening-thing-is-to-admit-that-i-am-not-in-love-i-can-only/)

[Sylvia Plath](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvia-plath/)

> [To love one's self is the beginning of a life-long romance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/to-love-one-s-self-is-the-beginning-of-a-life-long-romance/)

[Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/)

## More by Jessica Ortner

> [“It suddenly hit me—it was nearly impossible to take good care of something I hated. I’d spent so long hating my body that I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/it-suddenly-hit-me-it-was-nearly-impossible-to-take-good-care-of/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

> [The truth is that we won’t receive the support we need until we ask for it. Just because we can do it all doesn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/the-truth-is-that-we-won-t-receive-the-support-we-need-until-we-ask/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

> [“What tapping does is bridge that gap between your body and your mind. When you tap while focusing on the thought or feeling, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/what-tapping-does-is-bridge-that-gap-between-your-body-and-your-mind/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

> [If you're looking to grow your business then Kate Beeders is the practitioner for you](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/if-you-re-looking-to-grow-your-business-then-kate-beeders-is-the/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

> [“Many women sheepishly confess to hearing the words “You look like you lost weight” and thinking, So you thought I was fat before? When…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/many-women-sheepishly-confess-to-hearing-the-words-you-look-like-you/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

> [“not that concerned with weight for its own sake. For me, weight loss is a happy side effect of loving yourself more and feeling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/not-that-concerned-with-weight-for-its-own-sake-for-me-weight-loss-is/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

> [So take a new approach as to how you feel emotions. It's not about the right emotion or the wrong emotion; it's about honoring…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/so-take-a-new-approach-as-to-how-you-feel-emotions-it-s-not-about-the/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

> [“If we are not able to say no in the first place, we’ve set ourselves up for failure and burnout. When we allow ourselves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/if-we-are-not-able-to-say-no-in-the-first-place-we-ve-set-ourselves/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

> [“It’s important to have goals and reach for your dreams, but it’s never a reason not to enjoy the present moment. Ultimately it’s the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/it-s-important-to-have-goals-and-reach-for-your-dreams-but-it-s-never/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

> [Because we haven’t been taught to appreciate and love ourselves in this way, we don’t feel like we deserve self-care and pleasure. Instead, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/because-we-haven-t-been-taught-to-appreciate-and-love-ourselves-in/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

> [Change can't be made within panic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/change-can-t-be-made-within-panic/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

> [“The world doesn’t need us to be martyrs. The world needs our gifts. It needs our intelligence, our laughter, and yes, our love, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/the-world-doesn-t-need-us-to-be-martyrs-the-world-needs-our-gifts-it/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

> [“The most powerful way I know for you to lose weight and feel great in your body is to use tapping to clear your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/the-most-powerful-way-i-know-for-you-to-lose-weight-and-feel-great-in/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

> [“The solution to this epidemic of perfection is to get out of our heads and into our bodies. When we connect with ourselves at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/the-solution-to-this-epidemic-of-perfection-is-to-get-out-of-our/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

> [“We need to become friends with food again. It’s a relationship we need to spend time on and really invest in. When we go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/we-need-to-become-friends-with-food-again-it-s-a-relationship-we-need/)

[Jessica Ortner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

[Explore all 17 Jessica Ortner quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/)

## More Care quotes

> [I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/i-think-here-s-what-i-ve-realized-from-interviewing-people-and-i-ve/)

[Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/)

> [We all know what it feels like to love someone and care about them and want to protect them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiana-madeira/we-all-know-what-it-feels-like-to-love-someone-and-care-about-them/)

[Kiana Madeira](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiana-madeira/)

> [Young men, especially in America, write to me and ask me to recommend “a course of reading.” Distrust a course of reading! People who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-lang/young-men-especially-in-america-write-to-me-and-ask-me-to-recommend-a/)

[Andrew Lang](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-lang/)

> [I certainly do care for you Jeff Campbell less than you are always thinking and much more than you are ever knowing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gertrude-stein/i-certainly-do-care-for-you-jeff-campbell-less-than-you-are-always/)

[Gertrude Stein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gertrude-stein/)

> [Advances in technology will continue to reach far into every sector of our economy. Future job and economic growth in industry, defense, transportation, agriculture,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-bond/advances-in-technology-will-continue-to-reach-far-into-every-sector/)

[Christopher Bond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-bond/)

> [As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me. There's a trust there. I feel like little girls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-cho/as-a-child-i-had-a-lot-of-older-gay-men-taking-care-of-me-there-s-a/)

[Margaret Cho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-cho/)

> [I believe in taxation and health care that is outside the usual libertarian mandate, because I don't want people to have to suffer. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-peart/i-believe-in-taxation-and-health-care-that-is-outside-the-usual/)

[Neil Peart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-peart/)

> [The biggest change for me as a mom was realizing I needed to put someone else before me. Now the hardest part about the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-alexis/the-biggest-change-for-me-as-a-mom-was-realizing-i-needed-to-put/)

[Kim Alexis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-alexis/)

> [What makes you care about nature, about the planet? Is it really that you're afraid of what's going to happen if you don't take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-eisenstein/what-makes-you-care-about-nature-about-the-planet-is-it-really-that/)

[Charles Eisenstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-eisenstein/)

> [You feed yourself. Make sure you have all the information, whether it's aesthetic, scientific, mathematical, I don't care what it is. Then you walk…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-bradbury/you-feed-yourself-make-sure-you-have-all-the-information-whether-it-s/)

[Ray Bradbury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ray-bradbury/)

> [When you're in your twenties and starting out, the problem is that you care about being cool. Being older, I can care less about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-righton/when-you-re-in-your-twenties-and-starting-out-the-problem-is-that-you/)

[James Righton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-righton/)

> [When will society, like a mother, take care of all her children?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/horace-mann/when-will-society-like-a-mother-take-care-of-all-her-children/)

[Horace Mann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/horace-mann/)

> [I don't care if you make a print on a bath mat, just as long as it is a good print.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-weston/i-don-t-care-if-you-make-a-print-on-a-bath-mat-just-as-long-as-it-is/)

[Edward Weston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-weston/)

> [The world's problems are, by and large, human problems-the unavoidable consequence of egoic sleepwalking. If we care to look, all the signs are present…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adyashanti/the-world-s-problems-are-by-and-large-human-problems-the-unavoidable/)

[Adyashanti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adyashanti/)

> [There are a lot of kids out there copying and distributing movies - not because they care about seeing the movies or sharing them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-perry-barlow/there-are-a-lot-of-kids-out-there-copying-and-distributing-movies-not/)

[John Perry Barlow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-perry-barlow/)

[Browse all 19,019 Care quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/care/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "You can't hate yourself happy, You can't criticize yourself thin, You can't shame yourself wealthy. Real change begins with self-love and self care.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Jessica Ortner"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/you-can-t-hate-yourself-happy-you-can-t-criticize-yourself-thin-you/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Care"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/you-can-t-hate-yourself-happy-you-can-t-criticize-yourself-thin-you/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e89/jessica-ortner-30168_care_you-can-t-hate-yourself-happy-you-can-t_1263020.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e89/jessica-ortner-30168_care_you-can-t-hate-yourself-happy-you-can-t_1263020.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e89/jessica-ortner-30168_care_you-can-t-hate-yourself-happy-you-can-t_1263020.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“You can't hate yourself happy, You can't criticize yourself thin, You can't shame yourself wealthy. Real…” — Jessica Ortner",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Jessica Ortner",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-ortner/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "You can't hate yourself happy, You...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/you-can-t-hate-yourself-happy-you-can-t-criticize-yourself-thin-you/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-ortner/you-can-t-hate-yourself-happy-you-can-t-criticize-yourself-thin-you/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
