--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I always figured I myself would never be…" description: "\"I always figured I myself would never be lucky enough to die, I'd just live on and on in this increasingly dreary spiral.\" — Jerry Stahl" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b86/jerry-stahl-4491_dies_i-always-figured-i-myself-would-never-be_79612.png" --- # I always figured I myself would never be lucky enough to… ![“I always figured I myself would never be lucky enough to die, I'd just live on and on in this increasingly dreary spiral.” quote by Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b86/jerry-stahl-4491_dies_i-always-figured-i-myself-would-never-be_79612.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b86/jerry-stahl-4491_dies_i-always-figured-i-myself-would-never-be_79612.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b86/jerry-stahl-4491_dies_i-always-figured-i-myself-would-never-be_79612.png) > “I always figured I myself would never be lucky enough to die, I'd just live on and on in this increasingly dreary spiral.” [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker feels resigned to an endless, bleak existence, seeing death as an unattainable release and life as a monotonous decline. **In simple terms:** Resigned to a bleak, endless life. Key Takeaway Life feels like an unending, dreary spiral. Themes existential dread nihilism resignation mortality monotony Mood melancholy cynical reflective Type philosophical literary personal When to use this quote - facing chronic illness - living through prolonged hardship - enduring a stagnant career - experiencing prolonged grief - contemplating aging Key Concepts fate loneliness despair Practical Applications - psychotherapy for existential anxiety - creative writing exploring bleak themes Questions to Reflect On - What does it mean to feel death is out of reach? - How can one find meaning in a seemingly endless decline? ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Die Just](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/die-just/) [Dies](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dies/) [Dreary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dreary/) [Dreary Spiral](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dreary-spiral-1019106/) [Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/enough/) [Figured Lucky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/figured-lucky-1019107/) [Increasingly Dreary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/increasingly-dreary-1019105/) [Just live](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/just-live/) [Lucky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lucky/) [Spirals](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spirals/) ## Related quotes > [“It’s not that I wanted to die . I just wanted to go to sleep for long enough for my life to find some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bart-baker/it-s-not-that-i-wanted-to-die-i-just-wanted-to-go-to-sleep-for-long/) [Bart Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bart-baker/) > [Yes, Max, you are going to die. Just like everybody else. Thank you, Confucious.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-patterson/yes-max-you-are-going-to-die-just-like-everybody-else-thank-you/) [James Patterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-patterson/) > [If I die, just know I tried.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patience/if-i-die-just-know-i-tried/) [Patience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patience/) > [“Old photographers never die, they just f- stop”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/old-photographers-never-die-they-just-f-stop/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Morituri Non Cognant (Those Who are About to Die, Just Don't know)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-clancy/morituri-non-cognant-those-who-are-about-to-die-just-don-t-know/) [Tom Clancy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-clancy/) > [Live free or die is not just a slogan on a license plate. 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They just throw big party and be thankful I'm gone!!!!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/unkown/i-bet-nobody-care-if-i-die-they-just-throw-big-party-and-be-thankful/) [Unkown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/unkown/) > [I will continue to speak in defense of freedom until the day I die. It's just that simple. It's not even a choice. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pamela-geller/i-will-continue-to-speak-in-defense-of-freedom-until-the-day-i-die-it/) [Pamela Geller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pamela-geller/) > [I don't believe people die. They just go uptown. To Bloomingdales. They just take longer to get back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-warhol/i-don-t-believe-people-die-they-just-go-uptown-to-bloomingdales-they/) [Andy Warhol](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-warhol/) > [Morituri non cognant, perhaps. Those who are about to die — just don't know.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-clancy/morituri-non-cognant-perhaps-those-who-are-about-to-die-just-don-t/) [Tom Clancy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-clancy/) ## More by Jerry Stahl > [“This was, I sometimes thought, the last gift my father gave me. And the best: His death stood out as the supreme-o excuse for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/this-was-i-sometimes-thought-the-last-gift-my-father-gave-me-and-the/) [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) > [I think there's a phenomenon of people who want to be around something that seems "dangerous." It makes them feel more real.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/i-think-there-s-a-phenomenon-of-people-who-want-to-be-around/) [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) > [“Not until I stopped doing drugs altogether did I feel like a man. Not until I walked out of that fire did I have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/not-until-i-stopped-doing-drugs-altogether-did-i-feel-like-a-man-not/) [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) > [“This book, for me, is less an exercise in recall than exorcism.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/this-book-for-me-is-less-an-exercise-in-recall-than-exorcism/) [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) > [“Not doing something crude right off is about as close as a guy like me ever gets to class.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/not-doing-something-crude-right-off-is-about-as-close-as-a-guy-like/) [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) > [A waft of sweet hash drifted by, and I wanted to float after it like Wimpy levitating at the scent of a hamburger.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/a-waft-of-sweet-hash-drifted-by-and-i-wanted-to-float-after-it-like/) [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) > [I always tell myself, when I remember the non-stop self-generated hell party that used to be my life, I wouldn't be here if I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/i-always-tell-myself-when-i-remember-the-non-stop-self-generated-hell/) [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) > [My own theory is that people are just so desperate for somebody they can feel better than, in America. Now that everyone's going broke…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/my-own-theory-is-that-people-are-just-so-desperate-for-somebody-they/) [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) > [“...with enough rock in your system, you could hear every noise in the universe.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/with-enough-rock-in-your-system-you-could-hear-every-noise-in-the/) [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) > [I think that a lot of people are in love with stress. It's the dirty little secret of Western civilization. People often mistake stress…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/i-think-that-a-lot-of-people-are-in-love-with-stress-it-s-the-dirty/) [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) > [“There are stories you don't want to tell, and there are stories that scald your brainpan right down to the tongue at the mere…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/there-are-stories-you-don-t-want-to-tell-and-there-are-stories-that/) [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) > [Heroin spread that soft blanket over everything. But once the blanket was ripped off, it took a layer of skin with it, leaving nothing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/heroin-spread-that-soft-blanket-over-everything-but-once-the-blanket/) [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) > [“In some odd gush of patriotism, my mother had once vomited on the Liberty Bell, the Statue of Liberty, and a bust of Benjamin…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/in-some-odd-gush-of-patriotism-my-mother-had-once-vomited-on-the/) [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) > [“Being a junkie, when you broke it down, was nothing more than a crazed day job.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/being-a-junkie-when-you-broke-it-down-was-nothing-more-than-a-crazed/) [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) > [“When life becomes sub-human, sub-humans come alive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/when-life-becomes-sub-human-sub-humans-come-alive/) [Jerry Stahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) [Explore all 110 Jerry Stahl quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/) ## More Dies quotes > [Most of us are convinced that we are our egos, which is who we think we are. The ego is part of our incarnation.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ram-dass/most-of-us-are-convinced-that-we-are-our-egos-which-is-who-we-think/) [Ram Dass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ram-dass/) > [ I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. \[salutes\] ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-hicks/i-ll-smoke-i-ll-cough-i-ll-get-the-tumors-i-ll-die-deal-thank-you/) [Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-hicks/) > [Don't even think for a moment that you are not going to die.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dzongsar-jamyang-khyentse-rinpoche/don-t-even-think-for-a-moment-that-you-are-not-going-to-die/) [Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dzongsar-jamyang-khyentse-rinpoche/) > [Set NOT your hearts on the flowers of this world. They shall fade and die. Prize the Rose of Sharon and the Lily of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/set-not-your-hearts-on-the-flowers-of-this-world-they-shall-fade-and/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Violence is not necessary to destroy a civilization. Each civilization dies from indifference toward the unique values which created it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicolas-gomez-davila/violence-is-not-necessary-to-destroy-a-civilization-each-civilization/) [Nicolas Gomez Davila](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicolas-gomez-davila/) > [I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-celio/i-wonder-when-a-jehovah-s-witness-dies-and-goes-to-heaven-does-god/) [Brian Celio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-celio/) > [Certainly, it is. Love is love, and loss is loss. We all love, and we all die, and everyone suffers the pain of grieving.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lynsay-sands/certainly-it-is-love-is-love-and-loss-is-loss-we-all-love-and-we-all/) [Lynsay Sands](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lynsay-sands/) > [“When he stops giving you butterflies, Love dies.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-blanchard/when-he-stops-giving-you-butterflies-love-dies/) [Michelle Blanchard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-blanchard/) > [That old man dies prematurely whose memory records no benefits conferred. They only have lived long who have lived virtuously.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-brinsley-sheridan/that-old-man-dies-prematurely-whose-memory-records-no-benefits/) [Richard Brinsley Sheridan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-brinsley-sheridan/) > [I don't want to just die a normal death, I wanna be killed twice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eminem/i-don-t-want-to-just-die-a-normal-death-i-wanna-be-killed-twice/) [Eminem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eminem/) > [My father thrives on fear. You know that prayer If I should die before I wake? I had sheets that said that!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-father-thrives-on-fear-you-know-that-prayer-if-i-should-die-before/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [For the glory born of Goodness Never dies, And its flag is not half-masted In the skies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bret-harte/for-the-glory-born-of-goodness-never-dies-and-its-flag-is-not-half/) [Bret Harte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bret-harte/) > [This mind is a prison. It cannot find any freedom anywhere. It must die before freedom comes to you. But we have taken the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rajneesh/this-mind-is-a-prison-it-cannot-find-any-freedom-anywhere-it-must-die/) [Rajneesh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rajneesh/) > [An artist's creative energy is ephemeral as a flower. It blooms and soon dies. No artist is great forever. Personally, I think I reached…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-ki-duk/an-artist-s-creative-energy-is-ephemeral-as-a-flower-it-blooms-and/) [Kim Ki-duk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-ki-duk/) > [If you’re going to die on screen, you’ve got to be strong and in good health.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greta-garbo/if-you-re-going-to-die-on-screen-you-ve-got-to-be-strong-and-in-good/) [Greta Garbo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greta-garbo/) [Browse all 7,484 Dies quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dies/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I always figured I myself would never be lucky enough to die, I'd just live on and on in this increasingly dreary spiral.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jerry Stahl" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/i-always-figured-i-myself-would-never-be-lucky-enough-to-die-i-d-just/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Dies" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/i-always-figured-i-myself-would-never-be-lucky-enough-to-die-i-d-just/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b86/jerry-stahl-4491_dies_i-always-figured-i-myself-would-never-be_79612.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b86/jerry-stahl-4491_dies_i-always-figured-i-myself-would-never-be_79612.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b86/jerry-stahl-4491_dies_i-always-figured-i-myself-would-never-be_79612.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I always figured I myself would never be lucky enough to die, I'd just live on and on in this increasingly…” — Jerry Stahl", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Jerry Stahl", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-stahl/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "I always figured I myself would...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/i-always-figured-i-myself-would-never-be-lucky-enough-to-die-i-d-just/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-stahl/i-always-figured-i-myself-would-never-be-lucky-enough-to-die-i-d-just/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```