--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: A person's attachment status is a…" description: "\"“A person's attachment status is a fundamental determinant of their relationships, and this is reflected in the way they feel about themselves and othe..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/780/jeremy-holmes-33792_attachment_a-person-s-attachment-status-is-a-fundam_1202660.jpg" --- # A person's attachment status is a fundamental determinant… ![“A person's attachment status is a fundamental determinant of their relationships, and this is reflected in the way they feel about themselves and others. Neurotic patterns can be seen as originating here because, where core attachments are problematic, they will have a powerful influence on the…” quote by Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/780/jeremy-holmes-33792_attachment_a-person-s-attachment-status-is-a-fundam_1202660.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/780/jeremy-holmes-33792_attachment_a-person-s-attachment-status-is-a-fundam_1202660.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/780/jeremy-holmes-33792_attachment_a-person-s-attachment-status-is-a-fundam_1202660.jpg) > ““A person's attachment status is a fundamental determinant of their relationships, and this is reflected in the way they feel about themselves and others. Neurotic patterns can be seen as originating here because, where core attachments are problematic, they will have a powerful influence on the way someone sees the world and their behaviour. Where there is a secure core state, a person feels good about themselves and their capacity to be effective and pursue their projects. Where the core state is insecure, defensive strategies come into play.”” [Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Attachment style shapes self‑view and relationships; secure attachment fosters confidence, while insecurity leads to defensive behaviors. **In simple terms:** Attachment influences self‑esteem and interactions. Key Takeaway Cultivate secure attachment through self‑compassion and healthy relationships. Themes psychology relationships self‑esteem defensive behavior Mood introspective hopeful Type therapeutic educational When to use this quote - therapy - personal growth - relationship counseling - self‑development Key Concepts attachment theory neuroticism Questions to Reflect On - How does your attachment style affect your daily decisions? - What steps can you take to build a more secure core? A Different Perspective Secure attachment can be difficult to achieve without professional support. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Attachment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attachment/) [Neurotic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/neurotic/) [Psychology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychology/) [Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationships/) ## Related quotes > [ \[Sigmund Freud\] just made people feel so neurotic about their lives. 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I'm too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlie-hunnam/i-realise-few-people-get-to-live-the-life-they-always-wanted-but-i-m/) [Charlie Hunnam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlie-hunnam/) > [Successful comedians are just as neurotic as I am.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-widdicombe/successful-comedians-are-just-as-neurotic-as-i-am/) [Josh Widdicombe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-widdicombe/) > [“The fact that compulsive drives for success will arise only in a competitive culture does not make them any less neurotic.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-horney/the-fact-that-compulsive-drives-for-success-will-arise-only-in-a/) [Karen Horney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-horney/) > [People are very forgiving in my job of neurotic individuals.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-front/people-are-very-forgiving-in-my-job-of-neurotic-individuals/) [Rebecca Front](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-front/) > [You can take the girl out of the library, but you can’t take the neurotic, compulsively curious librarian out of the girl.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/molly-harper/you-can-take-the-girl-out-of-the-library-but-you-can-t-take-the/) [Molly Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/molly-harper/) > [I'd never been much of an athlete, due to a physical condition I'd had since birth (unathleticism). Perhaps if there were a sport centered…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colson-whitehead/i-d-never-been-much-of-an-athlete-due-to-a-physical-condition-i-d-had/) [Colson Whitehead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colson-whitehead/) > [Not to be offensive, not to be capricious, not to be arbitrary, not to be neurotic, not to be an actor outer, you're just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-hurt/not-to-be-offensive-not-to-be-capricious-not-to-be-arbitrary-not-to/) [William Hurt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-hurt/) > [Naturally, the neurotic wants you to love him twice as much, for he's going to cut it in half anyway.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mignon-mclaughlin/naturally-the-neurotic-wants-you-to-love-him-twice-as-much-for-he-s/) [Mignon McLaughlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mignon-mclaughlin/) > [As we are human, we can't do what we can't do; as we're neurotic, we can't do what we can.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mignon-mclaughlin/as-we-are-human-we-can-t-do-what-we-can-t-do-as-we-re-neurotic-we-can/) [Mignon McLaughlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mignon-mclaughlin/) > [I'm neurotic in the sense that I can have a crowd of 300 people cheering you, applauding you, standing O, but one guy come…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wayne-white/i-m-neurotic-in-the-sense-that-i-can-have-a-crowd-of-300-people/) [Wayne White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wayne-white/) > [If I had never gotten famous or rich, I think I'd be equally neurotic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-romano/if-i-had-never-gotten-famous-or-rich-i-think-i-d-be-equally-neurotic/) [Ray Romano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ray-romano/) > [I'd love to talk to myself at 40 and see what I've achieved and what I feel... but I will just be the same…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matty-healy/i-d-love-to-talk-to-myself-at-40-and-see-what-i-ve-achieved-and-what/) [Matty Healy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matty-healy/) ## More by Jeremy Holmes > [“To feel attached is to feel safe and secure. By contrast, an insecurely attached person may have a mixture of feelings towards their attachment…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-holmes/to-feel-attached-is-to-feel-safe-and-secure-by-contrast-an-insecurely/) [Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) > [“Try to prise a limpet away from its rock and it will cling all the harder.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-holmes/try-to-prise-a-limpet-away-from-its-rock-and-it-will-cling-all-the/) [Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) > [“A securely attached child will store an internal working model of a responsive, loving, reliable care-giver, and of a self that is worthy of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-holmes/a-securely-attached-child-will-store-an-internal-working-model-of-a/) [Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) > [“The unconscious operation of the attachment system via internal working models probably plays an important part in the choice of marital partner and relationship…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-holmes/the-unconscious-operation-of-the-attachment-system-via-internal/) [Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) > [“So it is with grief where, if all goes well, can come a strengthening of the inner world, of memory and definition.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-holmes/so-it-is-with-grief-where-if-all-goes-well-can-come-a-strengthening/) [Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) > [“Bowlby's conviction that attachment needs continue throughout life and are not outgrown has important implications for psychotherapy. It means that the therapist inevitably becomes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-holmes/bowlby-s-conviction-that-attachment-needs-continue-throughout-life/) [Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) > [“In Separation (1973a), Bowlby puts forward a theory of agoraphobia based on the notion of anxious attachment. He sees agoraphobia, like school phobia, as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-holmes/in-separation-1973a-bowlby-puts-forward-a-theory-of-agoraphobia-based/) [Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) > [“John Donne's 'A Valediction: forbidding mourning' concerns a sea voyage, and uses the image of a circle as an antidote to the abyss of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-holmes/john-donne-s-a-valediction-forbidding-mourning-concerns-a-sea-voyage/) [Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) > [“The patient brings with him into therapy all the failures and suspicions and losses he has experienced through his life. 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But unlike gravity, attachment makes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-holmes/attachment-exerted-an-invisible-but-powerful-pull-on-the-child-just/) [Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) > [“The ambivalent strategy involves clinging to the care-giver, often with excessive submissiveness, or adopting a role-reversal in which the care-giver is cared for rather…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-holmes/the-ambivalent-strategy-involves-clinging-to-the-care-giver-often/) [Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) > [“Bowlby uses the notion of faulty internal working models to describe different patterns of neurotic attachment. He sees the basic problem of 'anxious attachment"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-holmes/bowlby-uses-the-notion-of-faulty-internal-working-models-to-describe/) [Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) > [“Attachment is a unifying principle that reaches from the biological depths of our being to its furthest spiritual reaches.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-holmes/attachment-is-a-unifying-principle-that-reaches-from-the-biological/) [Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) [Explore all 14 Jeremy Holmes quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) ## More Attachment quotes > [Some persons are so inclined to mortify themselves that at every opportunity they have, they do so. What a beautiful practice this is, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alphonsus-rodriguez/some-persons-are-so-inclined-to-mortify-themselves-that-at-every/) Alphonsus Rodriguez > [She might be without country, without nation, but inside her there was still a being that could exist and be free, that could simply…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-maas/she-might-be-without-country-without-nation-but-inside-her-there-was/) [Sharon Maas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-maas/) > [When attachment Dies… Formalities are Born](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hemant-vaswani/when-attachment-dies-formalities-are-born/) [Hemant Vaswani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hemant-vaswani/) > [“Continue with whatever it is that you have been doing, except for attachment-abhorrence. If ‘we’ stay in our state of Pure Soul, attachment-abhorrence will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dada-bhagwan/continue-with-whatever-it-is-that-you-have-been-doing-except-for/) [Dada Bhagwan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dada-bhagwan/) > [“Research on organised abuse emphasises the diversity of organised abuse cases, and the ways in which serious forms of child maltreatment cluster in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/research-on-organised-abuse-emphasises-the-diversity-of-organised/) [Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/) > [Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete. Love is not fundamentally a sweet feeling; not, at heart, a matter of sentiment, attachment, or being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/love-like-truth-and-beauty-is-concrete-love-is-not-fundamentally-a/) [Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/) > [The real goal of Zen is to find a way of life that's easy and undramatic. Strong attachments lead to upset and drama.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brad-warner/the-real-goal-of-zen-is-to-find-a-way-of-life-that-s-easy-and/) [Brad Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brad-warner/) > [“The past is no good if you can't learn from it; therefore, no sense in dwelling on it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arians-karlovi-s/the-past-is-no-good-if-you-can-t-learn-from-it-therefore-no-sense-in/) Arians Karlovičs > [“Remaining absolutely non-acquisitive (aparigrahi) amidst all possessions is the ultimate ‘test examination’.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dada-bhagwan/remaining-absolutely-non-acquisitive-aparigrahi-amidst-all/) [Dada Bhagwan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dada-bhagwan/) > [Interwoven as is the love of liberty with every ligament of your hearts, no recommendation of mine is necessary to fortify or confirm the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-washington/interwoven-as-is-the-love-of-liberty-with-every-ligament-of-your/) [George Washington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-washington/) > [Money is not a problem, but unintelligent attachment to it is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mata-amritanandamayi/money-is-not-a-problem-but-unintelligent-attachment-to-it-is/) [Mata Amritanandamayi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mata-amritanandamayi/) > [“You need to belong to yourself, and let others belong to themselves too. You need to be free and detached from things and your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-eriksson/you-need-to-belong-to-yourself-and-let-others-belong-to-themselves/) [Charlotte Eriksson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-eriksson/) > [All our attachments are outward oriented and hence this illusion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/all-our-attachments-are-outward-oriented-and-hence-this-illusion/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“It is attachment that makes people forget not only their moral duties but even who they really are.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amish-tripathi/it-is-attachment-that-makes-people-forget-not-only-their-moral-duties/) [Amish Tripathi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amish-tripathi/) > [... professing myself moreover convinced that the general's unjust interference, so far from being really injurious to their felicity, was perhaps rather conducive to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/professing-myself-moreover-convinced-that-the-general-s-unjust/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) [Browse all 959 Attachment quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attachment/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“A person's attachment status is a fundamental determinant of their relationships, and this is reflected in the way they feel about themselves and others. 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