--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I know that what had happened with my…" description: "\"“I know that what had happened with my father - his insults, his criticism, the way he made me feel that I was defective and deformed - had hurt me. I'..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/97b/jennifer-weiner-2358_every-man_i-know-that-what-had-happened-with-my-fa_2410653.jpg" --- # I know that what had happened with my father - his… ![“I know that what had happened with my father - his insults, his criticism, the way he made me feel that I was defective and deformed - had hurt me. I'd encountered enough of those self-help articles in women's magazines to know that you don't go through that kind of cruelty unscathed. With every…” quote by Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/97b/jennifer-weiner-2358_every-man_i-know-that-what-had-happened-with-my-fa_2410653.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/97b/jennifer-weiner-2358_every-man_i-know-that-what-had-happened-with-my-fa_2410653.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/97b/jennifer-weiner-2358_every-man_i-know-that-what-had-happened-with-my-fa_2410653.jpg) > ““I know that what had happened with my father - his insults, his criticism, the way he made me feel that I was defective and deformed - had hurt me. I'd encountered enough of those self-help articles in women's magazines to know that you don't go through that kind of cruelty unscathed. With every man I met, I'd watch myself carefully. Did I really like that editor, I'd wonder, or am I just searching for Daddy? Do I love this guy, I'd ask myself, or do I just think he'd never leave me, the way my father did?”” [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The narrator reflects on how childhood emotional abuse shapes adult relationship patterns, causing her to question motives and fear abandonment. **In simple terms:** Past abuse influences current love choices. Key Takeaway Recognize and break repeating cycles. Themes family trauma relationship patterns self‑esteem Mood reflective hopeful Type psychological personal growth When to use this quote - dating - therapy - self‑reflection - support groups Key Concepts psychology attachment theory inner child work Questions to Reflect On - How do you differentiate love from fear of abandonment? - What steps can you take to heal childhood wounds? A Different Perspective Unconscious patterns can persist despite awareness. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Father](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/father/) [Love This Guy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-this-guy/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) ## Related quotes > [“What just happened?" "Your father invited the former love of your life in for pie." 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Watson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-d-watson/) > [“Not to worry, Phillip,” Father O’Toole said. “I was just inquiring as to what authority they—” He stopped abruptly, jumping forward as the wall…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-delucy/not-to-worry-phillip-father-o-toole-said-i-was-just-inquiring-as-to/) [Jennifer DeLucy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-delucy/) > [“Don't blame anyone for what has happened to your father. Things have changed drastically since the days of his own youth,but he has refused…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/buchi-emecheta/don-t-blame-anyone-for-what-has-happened-to-your-father-things-have/) [Buchi Emecheta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/buchi-emecheta/) > [My father belongs to the generation that fought the war in the 1940s. When I was a kid my father told me stories -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/haruki-murakami/my-father-belongs-to-the-generation-that-fought-the-war-in-the-1940s/) [Haruki Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/haruki-murakami/) > [“happened in the past. “But if you ever hear about it, don’t worry,” he said, his words a little slurred by drink. “Alexandria’s the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandria-marzano-lesnevich/happened-in-the-past-but-if-you-ever-hear-about-it-don-t-worry-he/) [Alexandria Marzano-Lesnevich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandria-marzano-lesnevich/) > [“And when I pray, I shall ask the Lord in heaven whatever happened to my father's ethics - or did he never have any?"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/and-when-i-pray-i-shall-ask-the-lord-in-heaven-whatever-happened-to/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [“This happened to your father and to you, Galway-sick to stay, longing to come up against the ends of the earth, and climb over.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/galway-kinnell/this-happened-to-your-father-and-to-you-galway-sick-to-stay-longing/) [Galway Kinnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/galway-kinnell/) > [Compare every single boy you ever meet to your daddy.Nobody will love you like he does..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikkie/compare-every-single-boy-you-ever-meet-to-your-daddy-nobody-will-love/) [Nikkie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikkie/) > [He makes me so happy. My baby daddy c; I love you Hunter -Lexi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lexi/he-makes-me-so-happy-my-baby-daddy-c-i-love-you-hunter-lexi/) [Lexi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lexi/) > [The good part of having six kids is, there's always one who wants to hug you and say, 'Daddy, I love you.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mcenroe/the-good-part-of-having-six-kids-is-there-s-always-one-who-wants-to/) [John McEnroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mcenroe/) > [If your child does not have the confidence to look into your eyes and say Daddy, I Love You. Then you haven't been a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-mark/if-your-child-does-not-have-the-confidence-to-look-into-your-eyes-and/) [Terry Mark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-mark/) > [I honestly was searching for some lines but, to express my love, there was nothing I could find... So, I thought, let me just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/preeti-vasdev/i-honestly-was-searching-for-some-lines-but-to-express-my-love-there/) Preeti Vasdev > [Who is the one person who can always make me smile? Even when I'm mad at him? Even when he makes me cry? Even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/unknown-p/who-is-the-one-person-who-can-always-make-me-smile-even-when-i-m-mad/) Unknown:p ## More by Jennifer Weiner > [Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/divorce-isn-t-such-a-tragedy-a-tragedy-s-staying-in-an-unhappy/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [Right now women are using surrogates because they can't be pregnant. What worries me is the possibility that soon they'll use surrogates because they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/right-now-women-are-using-surrogates-because-they-can-t-be-pregnant/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [I think I'm much more comfortable talking about other books than my own!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/i-think-i-m-much-more-comfortable-talking-about-other-books-than-my/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [People will want you to behave a certain way, to make a certain choice because it reinforces the way they see the world...But you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/people-will-want-you-to-behave-a-certain-way-to-make-a-certain-choice/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [Women are far and away the bigger consumers of fiction than men, but men are still far and away the more reviewed, the more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/women-are-far-and-away-the-bigger-consumers-of-fiction-than-men-but/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [My sense is that beautiful women are living in a different world than I am, and that it's a world with benefits but also…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/my-sense-is-that-beautiful-women-are-living-in-a-different-world-than/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [If you get the you-are-a-genius label, it can limit you. Because I'm not so scrutinized, I have more freedom. And that let's me write…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/if-you-get-the-you-are-a-genius-label-it-can-limit-you-because-i-m/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [I also believe that if you're really a writer, you'll write, and that nobody could stop you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/i-also-believe-that-if-you-re-really-a-writer-you-ll-write-and-that/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [As many times as I told her she was beautiful, I know that she never believed me. As many times as I said it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/as-many-times-as-i-told-her-she-was-beautiful-i-know-that-she-never/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [“How do you find happiness in a body like yours...like mine? How do you find courage to follow anything anywhere if you don't feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/how-do-you-find-happiness-in-a-body-like-yours-like-mine-how-do-you/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [“seventeen, tells her”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/seventeen-tells-her/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [Maybe it stems from my newspaper-reporting days, but I took notes the whole time - getting the call, how I felt. As soon as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/maybe-it-stems-from-my-newspaper-reporting-days-but-i-took-notes-the/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [I'm going to continue writing. I'll always be a storyteller. But I'm also taking time to enjoy my life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/i-m-going-to-continue-writing-i-ll-always-be-a-storyteller-but-i-m/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [She thought of what it would be like to grow up without the one certainty that every baby deseved - when I'm hurt or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/she-thought-of-what-it-would-be-like-to-grow-up-without-the-one/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) > [She hated the implied familiarity when customers requested things from her by name...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-weiner/she-hated-the-implied-familiarity-when-customers-requested-things/) [Jennifer Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) [Explore all 169 Jennifer Weiner quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-weiner/) ## More Every man quotes > [I cannot forbid a person to marry several wives, for it does not contradict Scripture. MARTIN LUTHER, letter to Chancellor Gregory Brück, January 13,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-de-la-bruyere/i-cannot-forbid-a-person-to-marry-several-wives-for-it-does-not/) [Jean de la Bruyere](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-de-la-bruyere/) > [Every man has his secret sadness and sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/every-man-has-his-secret-sadness-and-sorrows-which-the-world-knows/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [If we will not interfere with our thought, but will act entirely, or see how the thing stands in God, we know the particular…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/if-we-will-not-interfere-with-our-thought-but-will-act-entirely-or/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [ Vote for Donald Trump. You're going to see something and you'll be so happy, you'll be so thrilled. This \[presidential\] election is about every… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-trump/vote-for-donald-trump-you-re-going-to-see-something-and-you-ll-be-so/) [Donald Trump](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-trump/) > [“The old intergenerational give-and-take of the country-that-used-to-be, when everyone knew his role and took the rules dead seriously, the acculturating back-and-forth that all of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-roth/the-old-intergenerational-give-and-take-of-the-country-that-used-to/) [Philip Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-roth/) > [The world's history is a divine poem, of which the history of every nation is a canto, and every man a word. Its strains…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-a-garfield/the-world-s-history-is-a-divine-poem-of-which-the-history-of-every/) [James A. 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Use them after your own honor and dignity, the less they deserve…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/use-every-man-according-to-his-desert-and-who-should-scape-whipping/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [“China reminds me most of America at its own moment of transformation—the period that Mark Twain and Charles Warner named the Gilded Age, when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evan-osnos/china-reminds-me-most-of-america-at-its-own-moment-of-transformation/) [Evan Osnos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evan-osnos/) > [Every man is a missionary, now and forever, for good or for evil, whether he intends or designs it or not. He may be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-chalmers/every-man-is-a-missionary-now-and-forever-for-good-or-for-evil/) [Thomas Chalmers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-chalmers/) > [“John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/john-let-me-make-one-thing-clear-jim-said-cutting-me-off-in-his-most/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [Every man's heart one day beats its final beat. His lungs breathe a final breath. And if what that man did in his life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/the-ultimate-warrior/every-man-s-heart-one-day-beats-its-final-beat-his-lungs-breathe-a/) [The Ultimate Warrior](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/the-ultimate-warrior/) Browse all 3,342 Every man quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I know that what had happened with my father - his insults, his criticism, the way he made me feel that I was defective and deformed - had hurt me. I'd encountered enough of those self-help articles in women's magazines to know that you don't go through that kind of cruelty unscathed. With every man I met, I'd watch myself carefully. Did I really like that editor, I'd wonder, or am I just searching for Daddy? 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